I wake up early the next morning and leave a note for Charlie, letting him know that I went home to shower because I don't want to go to class smelling like booze and sex.

Last night was... a lot. I definitely found out a lot about myself, like the fact that I am indeed attracted to men. It wasn't hard to get it up at all and it felt so damn good. I still fancy women though, so I'm not gay, probably bisexual, or pansexual, polysexual, or multisexual. My brother says each has a slightly different meaning, but a lot of people use those labels interchangeably and a lot only use one. It all depends on your preference, what feels right.

I can dwell on that later. What's really getting to me is how much I like Charlie. He's really fun to be around, and doing that with him, having my first time with a guy with him, it made me feel something. Something I haven't felt in a very long time.

I remember Charlie telling me not to fall for him. Oops. Well, technically I haven't fallen yet. It's just a little crush. I'm sure it'll go away.

I push the feelings down since it's not the time for them and start getting ready for the day. My apartment is small, barely habitable, but I make do. I'll be going home in a few months anyway to look after my siblings.

After a shower and some styling, I'm ready to go in another band shirt, Metallica this time, and my jeans, belt, and cowboy boots. I head back out into the world, ignoring texts from Tony and O'Malley.

I get to school and sit in my seat and wait for Charlie.

Charlie sits down in his seat and I notice that he's dressed like me. He even has cowboy boots on with his feet on the table and a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.

I resist a smirk that's making its way onto my face. "Damn, what's with the makeover?"

"Seeing if I can do it better."

"No one can do it better than me." I pluck the toothpick out of his mouth and stick it in mine. "You do look stunning though. Especially the boots." I wink.

Charlie pulls out a cowboy hat and quirks an eyebrow. "You sure about that, Cowboy?"

"Shit," I shake my head, smiling. "You are too fucking much. When did you even buy that?"

"Already owned it all. I came here from a small town. Worked on a farm for a bit to work with animals." Charlie smirks.

"That's cool, besides the politics." I kick my feet up as other students start to trickle in.

Charlie pulls out another toothpick. "Who has the better hat?"

I eye the hat. "Probably yours since it's authentic. Does it smell like farm?" I ask and pluck it from his head, inhaling the inside.

"It smells like Hay-Hay a bit, the horse I rode." Charlie chuckles. "I actually brought the hat to give it to you."

"Really?" My eyes widen.

"Of course."

"That's so nice." I smile and place the hat on my own head. I spread my arms. "Suit me?"

"Definitely. You look good, almost a bona fide cowboy."

"Thanks." I smirk.

"You're welcome." Charlie punches me. "Also, my neck is like one giant hickey, you asshole. I had to go through so much concealer and shit."

"Sorry, I thought you liked hickeys." I bat my eyelashes.

So he'll display them when they're from Michael, but not me.

"I actually don't like them too much. I tolerate them. They're possessive and I'm a free spirit." Charlie scrunches his nose up. "I also don't wear that much makeup, so when I tried to cover Michael's, I looked like I had a skin condition."

I frown. "I'm sorry, you should've told me. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known."

"It felt good and I don't think straight when I'm doing gay things." Charlie giggles.

I chuckle as well. "Well, I'll keep that in mind anyway."

"You did tell a party that you were my boyfriend." Charlie pulls out some sour candy and opens it.

"Yeahhhhh," I scratch the back of my head. "Sorry if that comes back to haunt you."

"Nah. You're good. It's gonna haunt you, not me. You're hot. I don't mind you being my fake boyfriend."

I smirk. "Thanks." I tap my foot. "And it can't haunt me if I don't care."

I put on a bravado, but I do feel slightly anxious. I don't care if the class knows, hell the whole college, but if my friends find out, I'm in trouble.

"If it gets bad, just blame me."

"No," I shake my head. "I'm not throwin' you under the bus. Besides, I don't even think I'm straight anymore, so I should get used to living with this."

"Your friends though. They're homophobic and dangerous."

I scoff. "They're not... dangerous."

He gives me a look.

"I'll take care of it. I'm dangerous too, you know."

Charlie makes a gun with his hand and points it at my head.

I sigh. "They wouldn't do that."

The blond sighs and eats some of his candy before offering some to me.

I take a few and throw them in my mouth. "I'll be safe, okay? I promise."

"Good. Don't want my favorite cowboy getting hurt."

I smirk and tip my hat. "I'll stay in tip top shape for you, partner."

"I'll try my best to do the same."

"You better."

"Your partner shall."

"Good boy." I smirk.

"Have to be. The bad boy role is already filled."

"Very true." I take his new toothpick and add it to the one I already stole in my mouth. "Good thing we're sat in the back." I glance at the professor.

"I always sit in the back." Charlie smirks. "It's like one of my things."

"Me too. To be honest, I was a little pissed when I saw you here the first day." I chuckle.

"Rude. I'm here to please and you're around with your buddies who smoke trees."

"Did you seriously just make that rhyme?" I laugh. "Oh my god."

"I feel your judgement and it's not appreciated."

"It's affectionate judgement." I smile.

"You're never allowed by my poems or stories, asshole."

"I didn't know you wrote." I lean in, interested. "I was just teasing. Please don't ban me from reading your stuff."

"To think you were going to be the one and only person to ever read them."

"Please let me read them! I'll do anything." I beg, half joking, half serious.

"They aren't very good. You aren't missing out." Charlie hums. "But, are you really willing to do anything?"

My mind cycles through scenarios. "Yeah."

Charlie leans in, batting his long eyelashes at me with an innocent smile before whispering, "Eat my ass, Superstar."

I blink, processing. "Eat your ass." I repeat. "Like, literally eat or like eat out?"

"Out."

I stare at him for a minute, my mind conjuring up all the ways that could end up being gross. But it's just a hole right? Not too different than a vagina. "I... I can try. You'll clean it first though, right?"

Charlie's face turns red. "You'll actually do it? Do you even know how?"

"I know how to eat out a girl. I'm damn good at it too. It can't be that hard, and if that's something you actually want, then please let me try."

"I mean, it's different, but I... yeah... I like being eaten out..." His glow brightens. "I've only been eaten out once and I was fucking drunk and sixteen but yeah. Nobody's been willing to do it since."

"Guess it's your lucky day then." I blush. "Do they, uh, know something I don't know that might persuade them otherwise?"

"What?"

"Just making sure I'm not being tricked into anything." I flick his forehead.

"You should look it up. I can be disappointed." Charlie rests his hand on his chest. "You'd hate to disappoint your biggest fan, right?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Biggest fan? Cute. And don't worry, I planned to binge the fuck out of gay porn after last night."

"W-Why?"

"You've awakened an attraction in me. I want to explore and I want to be good for you if you decide you wanna do this again." I tell him honestly.

"You wanna do it again?"

"You did just ask me to eat your ass. So do you?" I shoot back.

"I'm like always down. I have a sex addiction."

"Interesting." I take a toothpick out and put it back in Charlie's mouth. "Despite the negative connotations around addiction, I like the sound of that."

"Greedy little fucker."

"Sue me, you're hot."

"Thanks. I try. I drink lots of water and moisturize." Charlie plays with his hair.

"It pays off." I smirk and the class finally ends. I gather up all my shit and glance at him, wondering what his plans are.

"You better start researching tonight. Lots of research so that you'll be ready for me and my various kinks and toys~" He stands up and tips my new hat before disappearing.

I chuckle and leave the classroom to head down the hallway. I open my phone and see several messages, the most recent being from O'Malley.

bleachers. NOW.

I groan and pocket the phone. I leave the school building and cross the field, seeing two thirds of my crew sitting in our spot.

I set my bag down while they glare at me. "Where's Scout?"

"Missing, like you have been, for the past THREE DAYS!" O'Malley slaps me. "Where the fuck have you been and what the hell is on your head?!"

Before I can respond, Tony yanks the hat off my head and throws it on the ground. "You look like a dumbass, Dechart."

I grab the hat, dusting it off and holding it close to my chest so they can't get at it again. I'd probably cry if something happened to it, and knowing my friends, they probably want to set it on fire.

"I've been fuckin' busy, okay? Not everyone has no life like you two." I snap.

O'Malley takes a deep breath. "You could'a been DEAD for all we knew, Ethan!" She smacks me again. "We have a pact, keep in touch. I needed you last night and you weren't fucking there. Tony almost got shot tryin' to save my ass and where were you, huh? Probably fuckin' some cheap whore!"

I hang my head, gripping the sides of the hat. "Was it your dad?"

"Yes!" O'Malley snaps, tears starting to form. "He got angry again and he beat me again and he locked me in the basement again! Tony had to break me out all by himself! You know how hard that is!" She buries her face in her hands and Tony wraps his arm around her.

"I'm sorry." I manage to say, suddenly ridden with guilt. "Fuck, I wasn't thinking straight."

"You're damn right!" O'Malley shouts. "Fuck you! What were you even doing?!"

"I was... I was helping my brother, there was an emergency." I lie.

"What? You mean your tranny, fag-ass little brother?" O'Malley sneers. "I'm your fucking family, not her."

I clench my teeth. "You watch your damn mouth!"

"You watch yours!" She shouts back and stands. "Come find me when you're ready to apologize. Until then, you're out, Dechart."

I stand as well. "Excuse me?!"

Tony blocks my way so I can't stop O'Malley from leaving. "You heard her." He taps my chest. "You're out."

I stand, shocked, while I watch them walk away. Emotionally charged, I sit back down and start to cry, shoving my head in the hat to hide it.

I pull out a cigarette with shaky hands and start to smoke. O'Malley was right, I should've been there for her, I should've checked my messages.

Funny how a day can go from amazing to absolute shit in just a few minutes.

I don't know what to do but I know that I need to fix this, and fast.