I ride my motorcycle to the park that evening and plop down on one of the swings. No one else is here besides Scout who gives me a small wave from her set up at the highest point of the jungle gym.

I dip my toes in the dirt and start drawing. I hate to admit that I'm nervous. No one else seems to be and that makes me feel like the odd one out. I'm never the coward of the group, but recently my friends seem to be getting into more and more illegal shit and I'm just not built to keep up with them.

I pull out my phone and smile at the background picture. It's of me and my little brother, Ryder. The boy has long dirty blonde hair that reaches down to his nipples. He's a real good kid... he'd be disappointed in me. He always is, every time he catches me smoking, he gives me that puppy-dog eyed look full of pity and disappointment. I don't mind upsetting people, but I sure as hell hate upsetting Ry.

I put my phone away as a car pulls up and Tony and O'Malley hop out. "Where's Scout?" Tony calls.

Scout flashes her flashlight at his eyes and he curses, covering them. "Okay! Okay! Sorry, I see you."

Scout huffs and turns the light off, gathering her things into her bag and jumping right off the jungle gym. She lands with a tuck-in-roll and hops right back onto her feet.

I follow her lead and we get into the car. Tony turns to me from the driver's seat and pulls out a pistol. "Here."

I stare at the piece. "What the fuck?"

"You're gonna scare the cashier. O'Malley and I will grab the cash and Scout will keep watch." Tony explains. "You don't have to shoot the smuck, but put the fear of God in 'im. You gotta act like you mean it, Ethan."

I shove his hand away. "No, man, you know I hate guns. I'm not pointing that thing at another person!"

Tony's expression hardens and he shoves the gun against my chest. "You have to. You said you were in, that mean you're in, no matter what."

I stare him down but eventually relent and take the gun. He's right, I told them that I was in and that means I'm in it all the way. I can't bail on my team when they need me. I know if I do then they'll never bother talking to me ever again.

I remember what Charlie said this morning and growl. I can't lose them.

O'Malley passes out ski masks, each with holes for our eyes and mouths. We all put them on.

"So the plan is, we go in, Ethan threatens the cashier and gets him to step away from the counter. Then Tony and I grab the cash—"

"And some snacks for me." Scout interrupts.

"—and some snacks for Scout," O'Malley adds, "then Ethan's gonna force the guy to open the safe, we'll take that money too, then we get out. Tony drives. Everyone good?"

"Yes." Scout nods and rolls her die. "Our chances of success look good."

"But it's not guaranteed?" I press. Scout just shakes her head.

Tony slaps me. "Get your shit together, Dechart. We have no place for pussies."

I grip the handle of the gun and nod. "You're right. I'm ready."

Tony nods and turns back around, stepping on the gas. "Here we go, ladies."

♥︎ • ♦︎ • ♣︎ • ♠︎

Tony pulls up to the gas station and we all get out, moving quickly. I enter first, my heart beating out of my chest in fear, and point the pistol directly at the cashier. "Back away from the register." I tell him calmly. When he doesn't move, I cock the gun. "Now!"

The cashier stumbles back and my companions jump over the counter. "Open it." Tony demands and the cashier unlocks it.

"T-Take whatever you want, just please don't hurt me." He begs and my heart aches. I feel disgusting doing this, threatening someone's life just for a few bucks. I want to leave, but if I do, it means I'd leave Tony, Carmen, and Scout behind to get caught. They'd never forgive me for it. Hell, they might even kill me over it.

So I stay, my feet planted firmly in place and the gun trained on the guy's head.

My companions stuff their pockets full and I know it's my cue when they're finished so I take a step closer. "Where's the fucking safe?"

"I-In the back!" The cashier stutters.

I nod and gesture towards the door with my gun. "Open it. No funny business!"

The guy grabs a key and unlocks the safe. Tony raids it and they all leap back over the counter, O'Malley grabbing a handful of Scout's favorite candy. They run out of the door and I lower the gun and follow, catching the guy press a button under the counter out of the corner of my eye.

Tony rips the doors open and we all jump in the car.

"Go! Go! Go!" O'Malley shouts and Tony stomps on the gas, tearing out of the parking lot.

I feel myself breathing heavily and a quick look down shows me that my hands are shaking. Scout places her hand on mine as we hear sirens in the distance.

"You did good, Ethan." She tells me and I nod.

I just robbed a damn store.

I should feel like a million bucks, Tony and O'Malley sure do, if their whooping and dancing is anything to go by, but all I feel is overwhelming guilt. All I want to do is go back and apologize to that poor cashier. I don't want this money. I don't want shit.

We pull back into the park and we all get out. Tony rips the black paper off his license plate and pulls off his mask. "That was awesome." He claps me on the back. "You did a damn good job, Dechart."

"Yeah, whatever." I mumble angrily and shove the gun in his hands. I pull the mask off and shove it in my pocket.

O'Malley sits at a picnic table and starts divvying up the money, giving me the biggest share. I sit down across from her and she grins. "How's it feel, newby?"

I force a smile. "Great," I lie. "I feel great."

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