I take a deep breath as I press the button ''seven'' in the elevator. I fucking hate this. I feel so incredibly anxious, and being in a narrow elevator isn't helping. After a couple of seconds, I reach Billie's floor, and I sigh before approaching her door. I raise my hand and knock. No answer.

I knock again, harder this time. Eventually, the door opens up and I take a step back, biting my lip. I open my mouth slightly in surprise as I discover Finneas in the doorway. He puts his finger over his mouth right when I'm about to talk before walking outside to the stairwell and closing the door behind us. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"She's sleeping, I don't want to wake her up," he explains, leaning towards the door.

"Oh, okay," I say, rocking back and fourth uncomfortably.

"She's been crying for hours," he says, creating a pit in my stomach.

"Fuck, what have I done?" I sigh in frustration, pulling my hand through my hair.

"That's exactly what I wonder, too. She refuses to talk to me at all," Finneas says, waiting for me to explain.

What am I supposed to say? Something in the lines with: "Your sister accused me of wanting to fuck my best friend who almost died a couple of weeks ago and I got mad"? It's not like that would make anything better.

"We had a fight," I admit after a while. Finneas crosses his arms over his chest.

"What was it about?" He asks.

"Well..." I start. "I don't know, we were... talking, and then I saw that something was wrong so I asked her what was on her mind."

I hate talking about private shit with other people, but I know how protective Finneas is of his sister.

"She was worried that I might like Travis," I finally say, almost getting angry again as I utter the words.

"Travis? Your Travis?"

"Yeah, him. I swear that I see him as a friend and nothing more, but I might have been a bit too aggressive when I told her that. I just got here to apologize," I explain, making Finneas sigh.

"Fine, but let's not wake her up yet. You can come in and I can make you some tea.

"You really don't have to do that," I say, not feeling like I deserve to sit on Billie's couch while enjoying some tea.

"Oh, come on now," he says with a small smile before opening the door to the apartment and signaling for me to get in. I enter the apartment and watch Finneas as he starts preparing some tea. To be honest, I don't want to eat or drink anything right now. I feel too fucking bad. Suddenly, I can hear a door opening up, making me turn around. As I discover Billie stainding in the doorway with tear stained eyes, I just want to rush over to her and hold her, but I just stand there. 

''Why are you here?'' She asks, with no emotion in her voice. She sounds... empty. 

''I'm going to the store,'' Finneas mumbles before putting his shoes on and exiting the apartment. 

''I want to talk,'' I explain.

''Just tell me that you are breaking up with me, I won't judge you,'' she says, making me furrow my eyebrows.

''Billie, how could you even say that?'' I ask in disbelief with a sad chuckle.

''I'm so fucking... broken. You're right. I'm jealous and sad all the time. Why would you want to be with me?'' Her voice cracks and she looks away, trying to hide her pain from me.

''Hey,'' I mumble, apporaching her.

''Don't,'' she says, holding her hand out to stop me.

''No. I'm not letting you push me away. I'm here for you, whether you want me to be or not,'' I say, trying to sound determined. That's what it takes for her to bury her face in her hands as she starts to sob uncontrollably. It feels like my heart drops when she crouches down on the floor, and I immediately sit down in front of her.

''Billie, listen to me!'' I say, grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands away from her face. ''I'm so sorry. I will never let you go again. Ever. I'm not going to leave you. I love you. I love you with every bone in my body, and that's not going to change.''

''I love you, too.''

After that, she wraps her arms around me, resting her head in the crook of my neck. I mvoe my shaking hands to her hair, stroking it slowly.

''I'm so sorry for being so dramatic all the time.''

''Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. You just have to trust me when I tell you that Travis is my friend. We will never be anything more,'' I say, trying to convince her, but also myself. We just sit like that for a while before we both manage to calm down slightly. Suddenly, she looks at me and bites her bottom lip.

''I want you,'' she says with a low voice, making me gasp.

''Are you sure?'' I ask, not wanting her to do something she regrets, considering her recen breakdown. She doesn't answer, but instead she presses her lips against mine. I let out a soft moan as her tongue swipes against my bottom lip and she does the same as my tongue enters her mouth. She pulls away and stands up, holding my hand before leading me into the bedroom. She points at her bed, and I sit down at the edge, watching her approach me. Her eyes are dark, but still a bit red from crying so much earlier. I bite my lip as she straddles my lap, taking off her shirt. I immediately kiss the exposed skin when I realise that she's not wearing a bra. She grabs my head, pulling me away from her.

''This is about you,'' she mumbles, grabbing the hem of my shirt before taking it off and throwing it across the room. She places light kisses down my neck, making me shiver as she sucks at a spot right above my breast. After unhooking my black bra, she takes it off and starts to kiss my breast.

''Fuck,'' I mumble, grabbing her hair. She smirks slightly before placing her hand on my chest, pushing me down onto the bed. I try to put my hands on her hips, but she sees what I'm trying to do and grabs my wrist, pinning them down over my head. I gasp and shut my eyes as I feel her hand rubbing between my legs. After kissing my earlobe, she puts my hair behind my ear before starting to whisper something to me.

''You won't be able to walk for a week.''