The cigarette burns the tip of my finger as I accidently touch it when I'm about to take it out of my mouth, making me shake my hans slightly. Yes, I promised Billie that I would stop smoking, but this morning I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get to inhale the gray smoke. I lean back onto the wooden bench in the park, sighing deeply as I try to ignore what's going around me. After a while, I decide to head home again, standing up before walking towards the bus stop.

Billie let me stay at her house this night so I could talk to her today and sort everything out with her. Eventually, the bus arrives and I sit down in one of the green soft seats, leaning my head against the window. The glass feels hard against my forhead, but I ignore the pain as I close my eyes, letting the music from my white headphones take me to another world.

And I'm always where the, sun don't shine and tears don't show, won't hurt me now, cause hearts been broke, I , hate myself, but, it won't show, I ,constantly lose, all, my remorse

And its , 10 for wolf, and 3 for the shepard, and its, 1 for the sheep, who led by a leopard often, gave his perception as a, handle of weapon, took a bite of your apple, give me, all you can offer

Now, im trapped in a changing maze, setting my soul ablaze, couldn't control the pace , where is this going hey, heartless is recklessness.

When the bus arrives close to Julia's house, I exit the veichle before starting to walk. It takes a while, but I eventually reach the small house and knock on the door. An exhausted Julia opens the door, looking at me in a way I can't explain.

''Are you okay?'' I ask her.

''Yeah, of course I'm okay,'' she says sarcasticly, signaling for me to enter the familiar house. We head upstairs immediately and I sit down on Julia's bed, soon being joined by her.

''Hey, I'm sorry,'' I say, furrowing my eyebrows. She looks both sad and tired at the same time and it breaks my heart.

''You didn't do anything wrong,'' she mumbles.

''Yes I did! Why do people keep telling me that I haven't done anything when I keep making things like this happen? I fucked up everyone's friendship, dude!'' I outburst, making her eyes widen.

''It's not your fault, okay? I was stupid,'' she says, shaking her head.

''No, you weren't. See it from the bright side, if the police actually find Travis it's because of you,'' I say, trying to cheer the older girl up.

''But what if they don't?'' She asks and I discover a tear that making it's way our from her eye.

''Come here,'' I mumble, standing up on my knees before wrapping my arms around her, resting my head on top of hers.

''It will be okay. We will find him for sure,'' I mumble, rubbing her back slowly.

''I hope that you're right becuase otherwise I won't be able to live with myself.''

I actually manage to cheer Julia up slightly by watching some of her favorite barbie movies from when she was a child and we almost forget about everything that's going on right now. It reminds me of when we were younger and my parents were fighting. Julia and I would watch movies and eat candy to forget about everything and it would actually work out pretty well. Julia's parents usually knew when something was up and they would let me be there at night if I wanted to, just to not hear my parents fight.

After eating some food, we decide to invite Billie and Kevin to solve everything because I really feel that we need to stick together if we want to find Travis. I figured that Kevin wouldn't answer if he saw that Julia was calling, so I called him myself and he fortunately said that he could come over here which I'm thankful for. I get why they're mad. We lied to them, but I understand Julia a bit as well. I'm always that bitch who's between two people in a fight, not knwoing what the fuck to do but hey, at least I get to hear all the gossip.

Kevin and Billie eventually show up and we immediately sit down on Julia's couch with an awkward silence following. My gaze shifts between Julia, Kevin and Billie while they're not saying anything.

''We gonna solve this or not?'' I ask, making them all shoot their heads up. Kevin buries his face in his hands as I study my friend. He is wearing a pair of fluffy sweatpants, almost matching to a pair that Billie has and a white T-shirt. Sometimes I feel like Kevin looks like Billie if Billie was a boy, but they still don't look alike at all. It's complicated, or I'm just stupid.

''I'm sorry for lying, okay?'' Julia finally says, making Kevin look at her while furrowing his big eyebrows. ''It was stupid, but I just wanted to find him.''

''I do understand that you did it because you wanted to find him but what I don't understand is how you managed to call when you knew that it would hurt him,'' Kevin says, making Julia nod.

''I understand.''

''Yo, can y'all leave us alone for a while?'' Kevin asks, making me and Billie nod before she grabs my hand, leading me upstairs. As I lay down on the bed, she closes the door behind her.

''We're going to hear moans from their make up-sex, dude,'' Billie grins, making me laugh out loud.

''Shut the fuck up,'' I say, trying not to laugh more.

''Ah! Kevin, your dick feels so good!'' She moans, making me gasp.

''You've got some problems,'' I say while shaking my head as she walks towards me, placing her hands on my thighs that are hanging out from the edge of the bed.

''So why do you like me?'' She asks, her voice much lower than usual.

''You're pretty good in bed.''