I yawn, stretching my arms before standing up and rubbing my eyes. I thro a glance at my phone and unlock it, revealing several messages from ''Travis little chickens''.

I put down my phone, thinking about it. A party? Tonight? Every single party that I have been to has not gone well lately, will this turn out better? I sigh before running down the stairs and I realise that no one is home. I walk over to the table and discover a piece of paper. My eyebrows are furrowed as I read the note.

"Good morning Ember and Julia! We need to stay at work overnight so you guys can watch a movie or something and we will come home tomorrow!"

I smile as I put the note down again. "Watch a movie" my ass, we will go to a party probably. Suddenly, Julia shows up in the doorway, scaring the shit out of me. She has a towel around her head and another around her body as she looks almost as scared as I.

"Good morning," I say as she walks over the floor to the kitchen and opens the fridge before grabbing some stuff to eat.

"Morning," she says, puring some milk into a bowl.

"Did you see the groupchat?" I ask her, resting my arms on the wooden table and she shakes her head in confusion. I show her the screen and she furrows her eyebrows as she reads the conversation before looking at me again.

''A party? Tonight? We have school tomorrow and you're meeting Billie so I don't know,'' she says and I nod. I like parties because I can forget everything that's going on, but I know that it's not a good day today.

''We'll skip it. Let's just chill instead,'' I say with a smile.

''Is Kevin going?'' Julia suddenly asks, completely changing emotion.

''I... I don't know,'' I say and she grabs my phone as I sigh.

"Yeah, he is. What if he does something when I'm not there?" She asks and I shake my head in disbelief.

"No, he would never," I say, giving her a reassuring smile to calm her down. She nods slowly before sitting down by the table, putting her bowl in front of her. I sit down on the opposite side of the table, moving around my spoon in the youghurt while furrowing my eyebrows.

"Are you okay?" Julia asks, her mouth filled with cereal and I nod.

"I'm not hungry," I mumble, looking at the food.

She nods before eating again. I can tell that she knows that something is up but I guess that she doesn't want to push me. As I sit down, I get reminded from when me and my mom ate lunch at that place when we started to get along again. The sudden memory is enough to make all sadness that I've been keeping inside of me just wash all over me as I start to cry, burying my face in my hands. Julia stands up immediately, running over to me and wtapping her arms around my body, holding me tight while stroking my hair. She doesn't say anything, she just keeps rubbing my back as I feel the rings on her hand scrape against the fabric. I feel weak, but I've known Julia for so long that I don't feel embarrased by crying in front of me. She has done the same before and we always comfort each other.

This is the problem. I always keep everything inside of me, or at least a big part of it so whenever I let my thoughts get to me, I feel anxious and scared. Sometimes, it feels as if my life is just a movie because it's too sad to be true. Like, why did I have to be that girl that everyone feels bad for? Before everything happened, I always thought that bad and scary things just happen to other people, not me or people around me so it feels weird to be that person now.

After a while, I manage to calm down a bit and Julia pulls away, looking at me.

"You wanna skip school today? I'll be with you. We can do whatever you want," she says, probably wanting to make this day good because it wasn't a good start. I nod, making her smile weakly. I think that she really wants to make me feel better but I'm okay really. Sometimes, people get too worried and they think that I'm worse than I am. The thing is that when I'm the most sad, people don't notice it often. It's only when I cry or show it in other ways and it's interesting because sometimes you jsut hide your feelings so much so you don't even know yourself anymore.

''So, what would you like to do?'' She asks, resting her elbows on the table after sitting down again. I think about it for a while before answering.

''Let's just go to the mall and buy some clothes. I've had the same fucking hoodie and sweatpants for months,'' I say, making Julia chuckle before nodding.

''Let's go then,'' she smiles before putting the bowls in the dish.

I put a black T-shirt and light blue jeans on just so I can try clothes easier. I would really like to buy a jacket or something that can keep me warm but it's always so expensive. As I open the closet, I see Billie's oversized green T-shirt that I forgot to give her back and it makes me smile a bit. After mkaing sure that Julia isn't in the room, I grab the T-shirt and inhale the scent. A tear almost escapes my eye as I hug the piece of clothing, holding it tight against my body. I miss her so much.

After a while, I walk down the stairs and when Julia realises that I'm ready, she grabs her car keys before opening the door. I watch her lock the door before entering the black car that her parents probably don't want her to drive but we don't really care right now. I unlock my phone and decide to text Billie as Julia starts to drive.

We text a bit more before me and Julia arrive at the mall. I put my phone down in my pocket before stepping out of the car. I haven't been here for a long ass time, so the big building doesn't even look familiar anymore. As Julia and I enter the big mall, we immediately walk towards one of the clothing stores.

"I'm going to look for a T-shirt," Julia says, leaving me by the entrance. I sigh before walking over to the sweatshirts, immediately finding a gray one that I really like. As I hold it up in front of me, I suddenly hear someone behind me.

"You are Billie's friend, aren't you?"

I turn around in confusion as my heart beats faster when I see the girl, or girls because there are three of them. Two of them have blonde hair but the girl who spoke to me has black hair, probably dyed because it looks horrible.

"Yeah," I say with a nervous chuckle. Was that the best thing that I could come up with? I have never been approached by someone like this so I don't know how to act.

"Well, you're lucky as fuck," she says as I furrow my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" I ask her stupidly as she takes a step forward, making me back into the shelf with clothes behind me.

"You don't deserve her, we know about your broken past," she says, making me gulp while a pain inside of my stomach breaks out.

"And we know that you are dating," one of the blonde girls says, making me panic. Why is this happening?

"We're not-" I start but suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Do you guys need something?"

Julia. I look behind me as I see my best friend smirking as the other girls look a bit scared.

"We were just talking to her," one of the girls manages to say.

"I'm not stupid. Leave her alone before I do something we will all regret," she says, making them back off slightly.

"Let's go," one of them mumbles as the walk away, looking ashamed.

"Thank you," I say, hugging the older girl. I don't know what would've happened if she didn't show up and I'm not sure if I would like to know.

"No problem, did you find something you like?" She asks as I hold up the gray sweatshirt in front of me like a five year-old.

After buying some new clothes, we decide to go home again. I collapse on the couch after entering the house, feeling exhausted from everything. I don't want to show Julia how affected I actually got from the girl's words, but it hurt as fuck. They are right, I don't deserve Billie. I don't. I will never do.