You know when you have just discovered something that you never thought that you would discover? Like, something that you never expected just happened and you just stand there, looking stupid. I'm pretty sure that that's how Charles feels right now. The phone is quiet for a while, as if he's wondering if this is real or not.

''Ember?''

''Yes, it's me,'' I breath out.

''I... I didn't know that...'' he starts, sounding really chocked still. ''You were still here.''

The last part makes me confused. What does he mean? Did he think that I was dead?

''What do you mean?''

''I just never thought that your mom... well. Can I talk to her?'' He asks, making my heart drop. Is he serious?

''Don't you know?'' I ask slowly, not wanting to hurt him even though I don't know who the person is.

''What?''

''She died a couple of weeks ago,'' I mumble, feeling uncomfortable. ''She overdosed.''

''Oh,'' he finally says, sadly. ''I'm sorry.''

He doesn't even sound sad. ''I'm sorry'' for who? For me? Isn't it hard for him that his mom died and that he doesn't even know about it? What a fucking asshole. I stay quiet, thinking about the crazy situation that we are in right now. Julia pats my back before leaving the room, shutting the door slowly. I guess that she wants me to have this conversation alone.

''You know what? I think that we should talk about this in real life. Where do you stay right now, Ember?'' He asks.

''Los Angeles,'' I say.

''Okay, I could fly you out to Chicago so we can talk. This is an important conversation,'' he says and I agree quietely. I actually don't want to meet this guy because he didn't even know that my mom is dead and that's a huge red flag, but I guess that I have to. I'd rather stay with him than a random family somwhere. This also means that I have to be away from Billie and my friends even more, wonderful!

After a while of talking, I hang up and walk over to Julia's room, telling her about our conversation.

''You're going to Chicago? When?'' She asks in disbelief.

''Saturday,'' I answer. I have one day with Billie. One fucking day before I'm leaving again and I couldn't miss her more. There's nothing to do in one day, literally nothing.

''Okay, are you sure that you want to go alone? Billie or I could come with you,'' Julia suggest, making me shake my head.

''No, you have school and Billie is probably working with her music,'' I say immediately.

''You're right. Just be careful, okay?'' She says, making me smile.

''I will,'' I say before hugging her tightly to thank her.

''Good night,'' she says after pulling away.

When she has closed the door, I lay down on the bed and decide to facetime Billie. She has to know everything with my uncle and my Chicago trip. It really breaks my heart that we haven't been talking as much as we promised to do and the thing that I fear the most is us two breaking up. I would literally break forever if that would happen. This is what I'm so scared of, getting used to being loved. The person can break up with you at any time and that wouldn't have happened if you didn't decide to trust them in the first place, you know?

''Hey, babe,'' Billie says as her cute face pops up on the screen and I snap out from my thoughts.

''Hi, baby. We need to talk,'' I say and she looks at the camera a bit more serious.

''What's up?'' She asks, resting her face in her hands and I take a deep breath before starting.

''So, I was thinking about where I will live now, because I can't live on my own. A couple of days ago, I saw a page in my notebook from a long time ago and it was about my mom having a phone call, talking about somone named Charles who she called her brother. She threatened me that if I told anyone, she would do something so I basically forgot about it. Me and Julia looked at different websites and we finally found him and his phone number so I called him and he is my uncle, Billie,'' I explain.

''Really? Yo, that's fucking insane,'' she says, making me smile.

''The bad part is that I need to travel to Chicago on saturday to meet him,'' I say and I hear how she sighs sadly, breaking my heart.

''Oh, okay,'' she mumbles.

''But we will have some time on friday,'' I say, trying to make her happy but I'm not doing a good job.

''Yeah, I guess,'' she says, sounding a bit mad and I don't blame her.

''I'm sorry, but I really need to see him,'' I mumble, looking down in my lap.

''No, no. Don't apologize, it's just so hard to be away from you,'' she says immediately, trying to sound happier so I won't sound guilty.

''Still, I fuck this relationship up,'' I chuckle, shaking my head while thinking about everything that I have caused.

''Well, I guess that I like fucked up relationships then,'' Billie says and I can see how she grins through the phone. ''I really need to sleep now, let's talk tomorrow.''

''Okay, good night. I love you.''

''I love you more,'' she says before hanging up and I put my phone on my counter, pulling the blanket over me before closing my eyes.

I'm going to Chicago to meet my uncle who I just talked to for the first time now. He did not expect me to be alive, I guess because he was so chocked. What if he is in some way catfishing me? What if he's not Charles? What if he's called Leopold and lives in South Africa? I don't have much to lose, to be honest so I don't care about if something happens to me, but it wouldn't feel nice for Billie or Julia if I died. It's so weird because this fucking situation makes me forget about my anxiety a bit because I have to do things that I think it's hard. It almost feels like therapy or something.

I'm not even ready to travel again, I feel so stressed. Everything is happenng so fast and I don't have time to just stop, take a break and think. Can't I just spend some time with Billie? I just want to escape with her and never talk to anyone else again. How will I be able to get on an airplane alone if I feel stressed even with Billie by my side?

I keep shuffling around in my bed, trying to find a comfortable position but I fail over and over again. I don't want to admit it, but it's really hard to sleep without Billie. This sounds so cheesy, but when she holds me, it just feels as if all my problems are far, far away in a different place. In her arms, I feel so warm and comforted. It feels as if there are only me and Billie in the world, no one else and I'm addicted to that feeling. If she would be here right now, I would fall asleep in two seconds and dream about happy things. Now, I will probably fall asleep in five hours and have the worst nightmare of my life. I love this!