Even though the flight is many hours long, it doesn't feel like it is a long time that I'm spending in the blue seat, next to an old man who looks at me with a sympatetic look, probably noticing my state. The music that blasts through my headphone helps me with thinking about other things. Listening to music can like reading make you travel in time. If you experience something while listening to music or reading a book, you will always feel as if you're in that situation everytime you listen to that song, or flip through the pages in that book. Right now, I'm listening to a song that Evan liked, even though he didn't understand a single word from the lyrics. Of course, listening to music that he liked makes me sad, but it also makes me think that he's here with me right now. I imagine Evan sitting next to me, instead of the old man as I close my eyes, letting my ears take in the tones.

I can't count how many hours I've been spending at this plane because I have more important things to do as I exit the big veichle, immediately looking for my friends and I find them, sitting next to each other at a bench by all the suitcases that people grab before getting home again to rest after their vacation. When Julia sees me, she jumps up before running towards me. Even though I've only been gone for some days, it feels as if I haven't seen her in forever. She throws her arms around me as I inhale he comforting scent. I feel another hand on my back, probably Kevin's.

''I've missed you so much,'' Julia says as she pulls away, looking at me with a sad smile, knowing the reason to why I'm home so early. I turn around so I'm facing Kevin before hugging him as well. He rubs my back a bit to comfort me so I guess that Julia told him, too.

''We should leave now, the faster we get there, the better,'' Julia says and I nod, following them out of the airport. I should be freaking out right now, but I guess that I haven't really had time to realise what's going on and it scares me a bit because that means that the reality will hit my like a truck as soon as I enter the scary building where thousand of people have lost their lifes.

Later

Kevin and Julia understood when I told them that I wanted to have the meeting on my own. I can't stand when people see my reaction to bad news. It feels as if I'm screaming ''FEEL BAD FOR ME! I NEED ATTENTION!'' and that's just not me. As I curl my fingers, knocking at the door to he room that I was told to enter, I feel how the familiar knot in my stomach starts to grow. Almost immediately, the door opens up and the doctor that I've seen before stands in the doorway, looking at me.

''Ms. Clayton, thank you for coming here so fast,'' he says and I just walk into the room, wanting him to get over with whatever he wants to be said fast.

''So, I am really sorry for what I'm about to tell you,'' he starts, already preparing me for what i'm about to hear. I look at him, wanting him to continue, but at the same time not. ''We won't be able to save your mother.''

Unreal. This feels unreal. I can se how his lips move as he keeps talking, but not a single noise gets into my ears as I sit there at the soft couch. I don't know what is going on. I look around in the room, thinking about all the people that are outside, walking around while thinking about happy things. She is not gone, she can't be.

''Where is she? Is she alive?'' I ask, barely managing to utter the words.

''She is in the same room. Her heart is still beating but she is brain dead,'' he says as I stare at the pocket on his light blue shirt. Brain dead. Dead. Suddenly, chock turns into anger as I realise how betrayed I am. I stand up, flipping the table that stands between the two couches before poiting at the surprised man.

''You lied! You lied to me! You told me that she would be fine for two weeks! I trusted you, all of you but you lied! You guys are the reason to why I couldn't say goodbye to everything that I have left! I hate you!'' I scream, even though my throat feels sore and it burns with every word that I utter.

''You need to calm down, you are welcome to talk about this with me later but right now you need to get home to someone that we know that you are safe with,'' he says, holding his hands in front of him to defend himself as if I would attack them. I don't even answer before exiting the room and slamming the door. Kevin and Julia are probably in the waiting room and I can't see them right now, so I walk through the backdoor that I've seen people use before. When I feel the cold air blow against my cheeks, I look up in the blue sky while feeling how I start to cry. Not wanting to be close to the place where I got the awful news, I start to run. I don't know where I run, I just keep running as fast as I can. My skin was cold before, but now it's hot from the sweat that's being produced as I run towards god knows what.

I stop, looking around me and the enviroment looks familiar but I can't decide whre I've seen it before. Eventually, I realise that I'm by the lake that we've been by every weekend. I'm so exhausted from everything and it makes me fall down to my knees as I bury my face in my hands. I look up at the sky one last time before falling down so I'm resting on my side. This is the worst day of my life.