You know when you are doing something without really thinking, and then suddenly you are in the consequenses of what you actually did and you're really confused? That was the worst explination ever, but it fits in with how I feel right now. I just did what felt right and now I'm in a different part of the world, ready to watch the one I love perform. Fuck, the last part sounded cheesy but hey, it's true. I sit down in one of the empty chairs in the front row as Billie starts her soundcheck.

"Billie, say something in the mic," one of the workers says, wanting to check if the microphones work.

"Suck a big dick," she says, her voice spreading all over the arena as everyone turn their head towards her, making me bury my face in my hands and sigh. Sometimes it feels as if she's younger than me.

"Well, now we know that the mic work," the worker sighs, making both Billie laugh even more. When the music for ocean eyes starts, she actually manages to focus a bit more, closing her eyes as she sings. It sounds really beatiful so I close my eyes as well, listening to her angelic voice. When she's done singing all the songs, she walks through all the seats before sitting down next to me with the mic still in her hand. When I look at the mic, I notice all the rings on her fingers and I grab her hand, laying it in my lap before inspecting every single one of them.

"You've got so many of them", I state.

"I know right?"

"You won't have space for the one that I'll put on your finger", I joke, making her laugh.

"Shut up, I'm the one who's gonna put a ring on your finger," she smirks.

"No."

"Yes."

I sigh before resting my head on her shoulder, inhaling her scent.

"Billie, can you sing the chorus of "when the party's over" one more time?" Finneas suddenly asks, making me sit up but Billie pulls my head down on her shoulder again with her hand on my head, making me land with my cheek on her shoulder.

''Ouch'', I say, holding my hand over my wound that I even forgot existed.

''Oh my god, sorry,'' she outbursts before kissing my cheek and repeating the action before but more gentle.

"Sure, I'll sing it from here", she says to Finneas who was waiting for an answer, waving with the mic in front of her and he nods.

''Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own

I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that''

As she sing the chorus I feel how her muscles tenses as she sings the highest notes and how she relaxes between every sentence. It just feels relaxing and calming to listen to her singing like that. When she's done, she sighs before putting the mic down in her lap.

''That sounds great,'' I say, truthfully while looking at the mic. How the hell does a microphone work? It's not even connected to a speaker or whatever because it doesn't have a wire. How does my phone work then? Billie interrupts my thinking.

''It sounds okay, I guess,'' she mumbles, making me furrow my eyebrows and look up at her.

''Billie, it was amazing, okay?'' I say, looking into her eyes. I don't want her to believe that she's bad, but I guess that it's hard to convince someone that they're actually good. I'll never ever change the way that I see myself, it doesn't matter if thirty thousand people tell me that I look better than Angelina Jolie, I'll still think that I look like the grinch.

Later

I lean over the fence of the stands, watching Billie perform as the fans go crazy. Maggie soon joins me, leaning over the fence as well. I smile at her before returning my attention to Billie and Finneas. They are so fucking talented, man. After she talks to the fans a bit, the music for ''bury a friend'' starts, and everyone screams.

What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?

What are you wondering? What do you know?

Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?

When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

Her voice is just amazing as she sings her heart out. Finneas is standing next to her, drumming on the soundboard while Billie is jumping around. I feel so bad for her legs, I can see the pain in her eyes.

"It sounds amazing", I say before turning around so I'm facing Maggie and she smiles.

"They are really good," she says and I hum in agreememt before leaning over the rail again. I unlock my phone, recording a five second video or something, posting it to my story along with a heart. I smile to the screen when I see how everyone starts to text in the groupchat.

I smile, putting my phone down in my pocket before watching Billie sing to all the people in the crowd. While watching her perform, I realise that I haven't felt anxious at all under those hours and I try to be thankful for it. Usually, I would never manage to go to a consert or something because there are so many people. What if someone is a murderer? I realise that I think too much right now, and I will probably just feel more anxious the more I think about it, so I leave it there and move my attention back to Billie.

Later

Billie runs off the stage and gives me a fast hug before running her hand through her hair. She's sweaty, but I don't care.

''That was so good,'' I compliment her and she smiles, squeezing my shoulder. It sucks that people don't know about us so we can't do anything in public, but I still don't want people to know. To be honest, I don't really know whhy but I guess that I'm not ready. Billie follows me into the lounge and closes the door behind her before sitting down on the couch. When I'm about to walk over to the mirror, she pulls me towards her by my arm, making me straddle her lap. Her fingers trails the skin of my hips and my hands move to her cheek before she connect our lips. As the kiss gets more heated, I wrap my arms around her neck and we both start to pant between the sloppy kisses. I push her down so she's laying on her back before placing my lips on hers again but before we get to continue, we hear steps in the hallway, makign me jump off of her, wiping the sweat out of my forehead. Don't. Come. In. Whoever the person outside is, I hate him or her. As I turn around, I see how Billie still lays on the couch, grinning.

''What's so funny?''

''You're so scared,'' she laughs and I shake my head before she unlocks her phone. I lay down next to her, resting my head on her arm that's laying across the couch while looking at my phone as well.

''You were at the stands?'' Billie suddenly asks, making my look up at her in confusion and she shows me her phone with my story of her singing.

''Yeah, you didn't see me?'' I ask.

''No, I tried to look for you there but I didn't find you,'' she explains and I pout.

''Or... you don't care about me,'' I say dramatically, putting my hand on my chest.

''You fucking dork,'' she chuckles while shaking her head.

A comfortable silence follows after that as I feel more and more tired from the intense day. Right when I'm about to fall asleep, the door opens and Finneas walks in and I sit up immediately from the jumpscare, makign both Finneas and Billie laugh.

''Sorry, Ember,'' Finneas says. ''We have to go to the tour bus now.''

I sit up and yawn, just wanting to sleep more than anything before following the two out of the door. After walking through the hallway and out of the building, the big bus stands in front of us. That shit's bigger than my future. Finneas opens the door and I follow him into the bus. It looks dope with a pretty dark theme inside. There's a small kitchen to the left and I guess that the beds are in the walls in the middle of the bus.

''This is your bed, Ems,'' Billie explains, pointing at the bed that's closest to the roof.

''No way, I'm going to fall down and die,'' I chuckle before climbing up in the small bunk and it's actually pretty comfortable with a soft mattress and a curtain that keeps people out when I'm going to sleep. It's a window next to me which allows me to see the highway and the cars that will pass by, pretty cool. Billie climbs up, joining me and I rest my head on her shoulder.

''What do you think?'' She asks.

''It's dope, I love it,'' I answer, smiling at her and she pecks my lips.

We just lay there as I feel more and more tired. I haven't even slipt under the covers when I fall asleep, enjoying the new enviroment.