《Her Racing Heart (Part 1)》19.
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"Please....stop.... I...don't... Want...." Meera tried to get away from his grip.
"Stop it!! You stupid," he aggressively replied and started removing her pants.
She struggled and her tears welled in her eyes. She didn't expect this side of Vikranth. Is he really in love with me?? Am I a fool to trust someone like him, is this what his real face, she thought and tried her best level to take his hands on her.
And At last, she pushed him and got up. She adjusted my dress and looked at him with teary eyes. He glared at her and there's a total change in his face.
"Vikran...." Before she could start,
"What?? Are you playing with me, acting like you are in love with me but making hard to reach you right!! Am I a joke for you," he roared like she did a mistake but now she's really angry at him. She finds his words were too absurd and selfish.
"Is this called love?? You are trying to have sex with me without my consent, don't you think it's wrong", she asked not showing her anger as she wants to explain it to him instead of fighting in the start.
"Without your consent?? we already did right!! Why you're acting like so good and pure?" Hearing his words she had tears in her eyes.
"What? Do you think that I will give myself whenever you wanted, see I am still regretting about that night and also we are not married to have this kind of thing whenever we want," Meera said and looked him confusingly because right now he's acting so differently.
"Vikranth whether you're really in love with me? We are in a relationship for just fourth months.
But in this, I noticed only one thing that you wanted me more physically than my love. And I feel so stupid and you need to understand this isn't right"
"Don't talk too much, you don't have that status to advise me like that!!" He said pointing his fingers.
She's even more shocked and tears rolled down to her cheeks seeing what his actual character is and she felt disgusting about herself for loving this guy who wanted nothing than her body.
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"Status?? Where that status went when you asked me to be your girlfriend, where that status went when you touched me. Right now you tried to rape me right!! What happened to that status," I roared in anger.
"Stop it!! Don't raise your voice. Yeah, I am not in love with you and used you for my physical needs that's all. But I wanted you as mine because I pitied you, but don't worry that's not going to happen, I don't want you anymore because you're talking too much....."
She died hearing his words. How can he play in my life? So he thought me that I am a fool who can easily do anything in the name of love. The words he said and the bond we shared were just an act!! Oh god, I am a big fool.
"So this what your character, for all these days you deceived me, Why you played in my life??
"What I did to you?? If you wanted a physical pleasure there are many ways you can get that, why me? Why you ruined everything?" She asked him grabbing his collar and she couldn't stop her tears.
He pushed her hands from his collar didn't care much about her questions, "Now you know the truth right!! Leave me alone and get out of my house," he said without looking at her face.
Standing in front of him made Meera think like she's the worst and disgusting creature in the world.
"So that's all right!! I also don't want you anymore and don't come in front of me again", she said and walked out of his house.
She cried while going home, the people around her were looking at her but still, she can't control her tears. The inner pain is killing her. She still can't understand is that really him. Am I in an illusion god...
After reaching home, she quickly wiped away her tears and went inside. She noticed her mom was sleeping, Meera didn't disturb her and went inside her room without making a sound and laid in the bed. She cried silently until she had no tears let in her eyes.
I am a fool who failed to differentiate between love and lust. I lost everything, I completely lost. I deserve this for my foolishness. But what going to happen in my life, what I am going to do when my mom finds about this, she thought.
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Meera opened her eyes and the room was fully dark. She slept after crying and her eyes were now burning hot. She slowly got up from the bed and went inside the restroom. She washed her face with the cold water, and right now she want to run away from this wrecked life.
She came out of her room and noticed her mom was still sleeping. It is normal, her mom won't sleep like this. So Meera went and called her, there's no response. She sat beside her and rocked her shoulders lightly. "Amma get up it's already 9.00pm," Meera said and there's no sign of disturbance in her face. Her body cold and freeze.
Meera is scared to see that. She rocked her again and again but her closed eyes and body remained the same. Meera quickly ran out of the house and called her neighborhood aunty to check her mom.
She came and checked her mom and other few neighbors also came into her house. After some silence she gave me a mournful look, she prayed to God not to make this happen.
"Sorry, Meera your mom is dead" hearing the words Meera collapsed in the floor. What I did to deserve this much of punishment. Why mom you left me without giving a proper reason what happened to you, she thought looking at her mom's corpse.
"Meera?" she heard her mom's voice while she is in her room.
She looked around but there is no one. After her mom's funeral, she couldn't sleep, everything reminded her mom and she's crying day and night. Some of them said she died in heart attack while in sleep, but Meera can't able to accept it. She still remember the last moments, she asked her to study well and live happily but her mom forgot one thing that she can't do that without her presence. If Meera already knows that she's is going to die then she would have stayed in the house without going to him.
Meera got up and went into her mom's room, her fragrance and her vibes filled in there. She looked around, in the table, there is a bank passbook and a letter under that.
She opened the letter and her mom's handwriting filled in it. That made her nervous.
...
Reading this Meera cried again loudly, her head started to spin and she fainted on the floor.
"Meera open your eyes", she heard someone's voice and the person sprinkled the water on her face.
slowly opening her eyes she saw her neighborhood aunty. She's carrying a plate full of food and looked at Meera worriedly.
"What happened Meera?" she asked and Meera gave that letter to her.
After reading she said, "I already know that your mom having cancer Meera, she said that a month before and asked me to not tell you. I agreed cause she's is a very good friend of me and I am sorry."
Meera didn't get angry after hearing that. I already lost everything. What is there in my life?
I would have accepted my mom's death if she told about her illness first itself, then I would have given my best level to make her happy and stayed with her all the time and I would have got little happiness from that. But she didn't think about that and left me.
I am sorry ma. I did a mistake of not looking after you. I forgot to think about you. The great terrible mistake I did was falling in love with a wrong guy because of that I lost you, my love and everything. I am not a good daughter ma. I too said a lot of lies to you and I know that I am not going to live happily in the future also, I deserved only one thing that is grief for what I did. Within a minute You died ma, but I am the one who is going to die day by day thinking about you, Meera cried holding her knees.
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