27th Mar, 2021

Writer.

Flashback.

She and her mother were alone when her father's dead body was brought to them.

Now that they two sat beside the bed where her father laid, unmoved and asleep forever, she noticed her mother struggling for breathe.

She looked at her mother with pity and pain seeing her crying so badly.

"Mumma....."

"Please...wake him up....please...call your Baba.. he'll listen..to you....."

Her mother pleaded with a soft tone that begin getting harsh as she covered her mouth with her hands fighting with this unbearable pain in her heart.

Thanzia's eyes filled with tears and heart with burden unable to witness all these.

She looked at her father's face with a puppy face, begging him to wake up, but she knows that he has escaped away from this temporary life.

"How can you leave us....don't leave me....I can't live with..out you...please love....wake ...up..."

She blankly stared at her mother with uncontrollable tears rolling down her eyes.

"Mumma...Don't cry..."

"Zia wake him up...he..promised to not...leave me...I..can't..."

She held her head with her hands and closed her eyes to take breathe, but felt that to be very difficult to be taken.

Her body begin shivering at which Thanzia immediately came forward with fear rising up in her.

"Mumma....Mumma..."

Her mother opened her eyes to stare at her with a slight smile appearing in her lips, her eyes showering Thanzia with love and guilt as she understood what awaits her within moments.

"Baba left us..."

Thanzia pouted with fresh drops of tears raining down her eyes as she sat beside her father on the floor.

She held her mother's hand as she pulled her head to her chest and kissed her forehead. Breaking the hug, she moved a step away and looked down, her eyes slightly closing.

Her mother's last breathe escaped as she just let out the words of Shahadah and rested her head on her husband's chest.

"Ma...Mumma..."

•••••

"Thanzi.....zia..."

"Aapi...he..too...left me.."

She rested her head in Mahia's shoulder as her grip tightened over Tanveer's unmoved hand.

She held his hand to her abdomen as her eyes stared at his closed ones, begging for their attention though she knows that they're never going to gawk at hers again.

Shahveer managed to stand up struggling with his shaky legs as he turned towards Ismail and held his shoulder for support.

"Were they informed? Still didn't come..."

Shahveer uttered with his harsh tone as he looked at the door waiting for his family members.

"They're..on the way...."

"Please take her upstairs... everyone's gathering."

Shahveer said turning towards Thanzia.

"Get up... Zia..."

Mahia held her shoulder but she immediately shook her head and moved more closer to Tanveer.

"I..won't go.."

"Please....get up.... guests must be arriving...you can't sit here...zia..."

"No..Aapi..I...uhh...he..I won't leave him.."

She caressed his face and kissed his knuckles bringing his hand inside her wet Niqaab.

Shahveer continued massaging his forehead as if that will help easing his struggle to face this reality.

Taking his gaze to Thanzia made him weaker as he sighted hopelessly.

"Go for now please...I'll call..you down before funeral."

He said looking away.

Thanzia shook her head and rested her head in his chest, somewhere wishing if she could join him too, like her mother did.

"Zia get up jaan...please..."

"Aapi....I love him..so much....."

"I..know....."

She stood up with Mahia's support as she held Thanzia by her arms and begin walking away distancing her from his sight.

She looked back at Tanveer with her heart yarning to go back to the past and anyhow convince him to not go away from her.

If only that was possible for her!

They both sat on the bed as Mahia untied her Niqaab, exposing her wet and red marked cheeks, her thin nose that swelled up, with her eyes turning redder like having blood in them.

"Ohh Zia...."

Mahia hugged her tightly as she wailed silently like a baby.

"Aapii...he.. he..left me...why..does this..happen...to me...I..."

"Sshhh...breathe in.."

She wiped her tears placing a kiss in her forehead as she looked down at her abdomen and touched there.

"He.... left..his soul brea..thi.ng inside..me."

She whispered which immediately made Mahia shocked as she stepped back with widened tearful eyes, looking blankly at Thanzia.

"Are..you..pr...."

•

•

Thanzia entered with her body shivering as she looked around finding the room empty with only the bed in middle of the room having Tanveer laid over it.

The funeral hour arrived but Shahveer wanted her to meet him alone for at least few last seconds.

She turned to close the door when her eyes fell on Shahveer standing at a distance, staring at her direction, as their eyes met he immediately looked away.

Closing it, she made her way to Tanveer and sat down, slowly pulling off the white sheet revealing his face, that still seems so alive and fresh.

She took off her Niqaab and bowed down to his face, kissing all around.

Her eyes continuously rained as her body begin shivering more now, she felt her heart beating louder and faster having the fear to never have him again beside her.

"I love you I love you I love you...why did you do this to me....I love you so much Tanveer....please...don't...leave me like that....you promised...to not... Tanveer....please..."

Her lips stayed connected to his right eye as she whispered in between her hiccups and sobs.

"I... should be... thankful that..that you gave me this blessing before leaving me...forever..."

She touched her stomach smiling at him warmly.

"Look at me for the last please...please don't leave like that.... please...please...aahh... Tanveer...I..love you..."

••••

"Mumma wake up please....Mumma I won't trouble you anymore...don't leave me..."

Shahveer held his mother's hand in his tiny ones as he begged her with tearful eyes.

"Mumma please don't go to Allah..I'll love you more...please...."

His chest begin spreading the pain all around his body as he helplessly waited for his mother to open her eyes for once.

"Oo Maa... please...don't leave me...."

He moved his eyes to Tanveer who's silently shedding tears without moving or uttering a single word, he stared at his mother's face with mercy and love, his heart craving for her consolation, but he knows that he's left alone.

••••

Everyone walked away from the graveyard except for Shahveer and Wali as they silently stared at Tanveer's grave where he was burried minutes back.

Shahveer's eyes didn't blink even for once as they continued shedding tears of love for Tanveer.

He clenched his fists trying to get away from Tanveer's memories, but that didn't leave his attention.

"Veer...."

Wali held his shoulder from behind.

"How many of them....died?"

"All....except for 4-6."

He nodded his head and looked back at Wali.

"Did he know from before that he was going for this?"

Wali smiled, mumbling yes which invited more tears in Shahveer's eyes.

"Veer....that...that his wife...is pregnant...he..he left these letters for you two...."

He looked down at Wali's hand holding two letters of green and blue color papers.

"Letters...wow....was the soldier aware of his death? How generous of him!"

He chuckled, wiping his tears.

"Green one for you..."

••••

Eaii my Doctor,

If I'm alive then obviously you won't receive this. But maybe you did...and I'm not here anymore.

I have nothing so special to say but just that....D O N T C R Y.

Please don't.

I really can't write anything.....my hand shivers.

So straight to the point....

My wife is pregnant, I know I'm being cruel to her, I should have not joined the league but...I couldn't control my heart.

Please Veer...be by her side,

I know that we both are same, by face, character, mood and also by heart and soul.

I don't want her to be alone after I leave or be the wife of any other man but you.

I know that you still search for your Niqaabi girl. But please accept my Niqaabi.

I love her a lot, from the first breathe that I've taken near her. Still..... I am so cruel to choose my nation over my love.

She has an angelic soul, I bet you'll love her a lot....just don't leave my wife alone, please.

And about you....

Do I need to say anything about you?

I love you the most, maybe more than her too.

Yeah, not maybe, surely.

You've enough patience, deal with this life for few more steps, the struggle will worth the reward.

I love you.

And I pray that you're not reading this letter, I'm not no more but with you.

Shahveer folded the letter and threw it in the floor. He was about to stand up but lost his balance and fell on the floor having a serious headache eating his brain.

"Bhaiiii bhaiiiii shut uppp! What have you done to us! Why Did You Do That? I loved you so much...she..she loved you..."

He screamed pulling his hair in frustration as drops of tears fell from his eyes.

"Why did you hurt her more!"

••••