Writer.

Handling Nahiaan to his grandfather to sleep with him for tonight, she made her way out of the room, deeply lost in everything that happened to her today.

Due to crying whole day made her body a burden to itself, her hands and legs still are slightly shivering as she's continuously hiccuping, controlling her best to not cry anymore.

She didn't talk to Tanveer yet, with just a hug, they parted their ways to other works, though Tanveer tried talking to her, or calming her fear and distress but didn't get that chance.

And now when he's waiting for her, she intentionally crossed the path of their room and reached to the terrace.

Leaning over the railing, she let her eyes close as cold wind danced around her, soothing the cruel warmth of her misery.

The secret love of the man she always loved towards her still feels like a dream to her, or maybe a beautiful nightmare.

The thoughts saying that she was the one whom he wanted to marry, but ended up with the wrong girl, making his life a burning hell is all over which she can forever cry.

Maybe this wasn't enough to break her more brutally that a bigger pain appeared. Few hours of fear of losing her husband made her realize his value in her heart.

How could she even think of losing the man who loved her ever since they united?

This doesn't end here, an hour back Thanzia messeged her, congratulating that Shahveer learnt her love from him.

Now what should be her reaction to this?

Tears were also tired of all these drama.

She smiled seeing the text, so thankful to her fate that did so much to her within just a day.

She was lost in her thoughts until something caused a sound making her immediately turn to her back.

She looked here and there finding for it's source.

Then her eyes reached near the door of the terrace beside which, in a corner, stood Shahveer.

He came here before her, when he was about to leave he found her here too, so he chose to stay.

He helplessly was looking at her sight until he mistakenly dropped a flower pot down from the table.

He shut his eyes off praying for her to not hear this and catch him.

Unfortunately she did, as she stood surprised, her eyes fixed in him.

The green dimmed lights didn't allow her seeing him clearly but the sight seemed calm and fresh.

Their eyes met as he opened his eyes back and glanced at her, their feelings mutual as they drowned deeply in each other's eyes, unblinking even for once.

He thought to leave but was forced to not end this moment.

A hopeless sight escaped as he found her eyes getting moist, ready to cry.

She immediately turned around unable to control her sobs.

She wiped her eyes with her Niqaab and looked up at the sky, waiting for him to leave.

But he didn't, he kept looking at her, increasing the ache of his heart.

Maybe he wanted to talk to her, about everything that happened between and with them. But would it ruin her relationship with his brother?

Thanzia felt two arms catching her waist from behind as warmness faded the cold wind shooing it away.

Her eyes widened as she gasped, thinking for a second if it's Shahveer, as he's here.

But obviously it can't be him.

Shahveer immediately went two steps away hiding himself behind when he noticed Tanveer walking in.

He watched him hugging his wife from behind. This didn't hurt him. In fact a kind of peace engulfed his pain at this.

"I was waiting for you."

He breathed in her neck.

Thanzia immediately turned to him and before meeting his face, her eyes travelled to the area where Shahveer is standing. She found him looking at their way.

"Zia...."

"Hm...hmm..."

She looked back at him as he smiled warmly at her, tightening his hold in her waist.

"Why are you here?"

He said making his hand it's way to her face, about to take her Niqaab down when she caught his hand and shook her head.

Her eyes again walked to Shahveer who's watching them with a warm smile in his lips, his eyes showering happiness seeing the sight, only he knows what's inside him for real.

"Hello?" He gently held her face, asking for her attention.

"Sorry......I..just...uh.."

"Isn't it cold here!" He grabbed her waist making her collide with his chest as she kept her hands in between them to keep distance.

"Yea....let's...." She again looked at Shahveer.

"Let's go...to room."

She gasped as Shahveer looked straight at her. He made his smile brighter and walked behind, vanishing from her sight.

"Hmm...let's go."

Tanveer grabbed her hand and begin walking out of the terrace, planning to shower his love over her tonight but only if he knew, he will choose to hurt her more.

•••••

"What did you just say?"

Tanveer questioned, with anger boiling in his eyes as they deepened staring at her shockingly.

He wanted to go easy with her, treat her gently, but the situation made him ignore her shattered tone, crying voice and tearful face.

"I sa...said.."

She uttered hiccuping.

Her hands tightly held the collar of his shirt as she looked at his eyes with pity and hope.

"I...I..left my job...at once when you said...now..now you...you must leave yours."

Saying, she closed her eyes and held her mouth, unable to control this unstoppable pain rising in her body.

Tanveer chuckled, shocked to say anything more to her.

He made her look up as he lifted her chin, his eyes showing anger, yet mercy and care engulfed that.

"We...are not same Zia. Don't talk rubbish."

"I Am Not Talking Rubbish. I'm You're Wife Who Has This Right To Object To Let You Do This Job."

She kicked his stomach pushing him away with all her force. Her face turned redder with her voice getting harsh, still helpless.

"Zia..listen...calm down. We can talk about it." He again came near her and tried to touch her but she immediately slapped his hand and moved back.

He surely didn't prefer her like this. But he differed with her demands, compelling himself to not lose over his love and leave his dreams.

Dreams.....

To serve his country till his last breathe.

To never step out of this job till death arrives.

To be highlighted in the list of the bravest soldiers.

to be martyred.

"We Are Not Talking About It. You are leaving this job...you must.."

She ordered, her confidence made him even more angrier that he suddenly grabbed her under him and held her closer to his face.

"Look.....don't make me angry. I'm fine and I'll be fine. I'm with you....I am..not..not leaving you.

Don't act crazy, please."

He softly said, still she found rudeness in his voice.

"You...were..about to....leave me today forever, weren't you?"

The question made him weak as he stared at her, finding for any answer.

"It's not the first time. It happens...and I will be fine."

"But my fear of losing you won't end right? I..I can't handle this...I can't let you leave me...please Tanveer...leave this job..."

She spoke in between her hiccups, tears rolling down her eyes nonstop, every second increasing her fear and pain.

"Zia... listen...Death will only arrive when it's written for me. My job doesn't increase or decrease the time. Eve...."

"You talk too much. I said you to leave this job so you will. That's it."

She moved back forcing him away by his chest.

Tanveer closed his eyes as he rubbed his forehead, trying to calm his anger.

He doesn't want to cross his limits.

"What's the problem Tanveer? You can do anything else... anything...but..don't..go back there...please...I beg you..."

She pleaded sobbing crazily.

"Why don't you understand? I can't...I don't want to. Nothing will happen to me. Please Thanzia...don't ruin our relationship for no reason."

She wiped away her tears and looked at him with pity, finding him staring at her with the same.

"What if you died today?"

"I DIDN'T! I'm Right In Front Of You."

She shivered at the loudness of his voice as he punched on the floor.

If only he knew that this fear in her aroused so much to ever end with any and every consolation.

She breathed heavily, looking around, tired of living this life that's more like a hell to her.

"My father said the same...at last he left....taking my mother along too..."

"Allah Zia! He was destained to die. Stop thi....."

"You love me right? I've never asked anything from you, nor I'll...ever...please...please...just do this...for my sake...please."

She hugged her knees leaning over the bed with closed eyes, thinking how cruel he is.

But from his point, he's so helpless. He doesn't want her to be in this condition again he never wants to leave his job too.

Few dream to serve their country with all their might and retire safely reaching back to their families.

And few, like Tanveer, dream to be martyred, as if there's no bigger and higher success found in anything else.

He made his way towards her and pulled her head in his chest, holding her gently close to him as she grasped his shirt in her fist and wiped her face there.

"Don't cry... please.."

"Don't make me cry....I beg..."

He brought her nearer and bowed down to her face.

"I've found my life in there Zia...please...don't separate me from this."

"Am...I not important to you? There are many more to do this, why you? Is serving your nation more important than me...?"

She rubbed her finger in his beard, staring at him hopefully as she found rays of thoughts about her question in his eyes.

"Zia......"

He took her name under his breathe, that escaped out so softly. Cupping her face, he gave her a puppy face, that surely won't work now.

"It's important...Zia....more..than everything."

Her eyes wide opened. She raised her eyebrows as anger and jealousy caught her expression.

"It's important? So important?"

He nodded his head, looking helpless.

She blankly stared at him for a while, noticing his every feature. She searched for love in his eyes, but found something else, unlike other times.

'I lost everything I loved, maybe you're in the list too.'

"Zia...."

He shook her shoulder but she immediately slapped his hand and stepped away.

Her eyes shot him with anger and hatred as she pointed her finger to the door.

"I guess your nation needs you more than I do. You may go, maybe right now."

She chuckled, controlling the ready tears to not shed anymore, for the one who finds his nation more important than her.

"Please love...don't do this."

He whispered, begging.

"Get out Tanveer."

"I love you."

"Then leave this job. Don't make my hell worse than a hell."

He pulled her by her wrist and forcefully made her look at him even though she struggled enough to not let him touch her.

"You knew that I work for the army right? Didn't you?"

He asked tightening his grip over her chin as she shed more tears letting her eyes meet his.

"Yeah so?"

She glared at him, breathing heavily.

"Then you shouldn't have married me if you had so much problem with your husband being a soldier."

"Ohh..."

She smiled, nodding her head.

They both looked at each other with so much anger that could only fade if they'd listened to each other's words, which surely can't happen from both sides at once.

"I will do everything you say. I'll never ask for anything else. But please...leave this..job.."

"Thanzia... don't expect me to do this...I won't...and that's it."

He stood up, leaving her in the floor.

He turned around to walk away when she stood up too and made her way after him, her body shivering as she felt her breathe getting heavier.

"I love...love you Tanveer...more than anything....be with me please... I've lost everyone I loved...I can't afford to live without you..have mercy on this orphan..please."

••••••

Shahveer sat up from sujood with uncontrollable tears rolling down his eyes. His whole body got drenched with sweat even though the AC is on.

He held his head in his hands and shut his eyes off tightly, cursing the pain that mercilessly is spreading in his body, mind and heart.

He continued crying loudly like a baby, as if he's lost somewhere, unable to ever return to his known place again.

"Why me....why me..why always me?"

He yelled with frustration wailing freely, thankful that none can hear him.

Everytime he closes his eyes, her sight appears in front telling that he loves her. But how is it fair to love the girl whom his brother loves too?

He could get no solution for this misery. If today his Bhabi had not been the girl he loves, maybe he would have anyhow tried his best and make her his.

And now he can't even dream of that.

His pain increased to such an level that whole night he cried and suffered, still believing that something better awaits him, surely.

••••

"Sshhh..." He kept her finger in her lips holding her tightly by her waist with his right hand.

She comfortably settled in his lap as he sat in a hanging chair.

In between them, sat a bowl full of hershey's kisses chocolates that are being thrown in her mouth every minute.

Even though she's crying so miserably, full of pain and grief, he found cuteness in that despite hating to see her cry so much, especially when he's reason to it.

"Aahh yes...Captain... I really need to transfer to Karachi. Please compromise a little." Tanveer spoke holding the phone to his ear as his eyes stayed fixed at his wife.

She's crying for serious but at the same time filling her mouth with hershey's kisses as if that will lessen her pain. That's what made him chuckle at her again and again.

"Thank you so much! I didn't expect a yes so easily. Thank you!"

"Aa..te..tell...hi..him..to do..it by..by this..weak..you..you won't go ..there..again.."

She demanded in between her hiccups. Tanveer rolled his eyes at her and nodded at this.

"Can I please join from the upcoming week, instead of going to Lahore after my vacation?"

Thanzia bit her lip looking at the phone with high expectations, praying for a yes under her breathe as she held Tanveer's shirt in her fist and leaned against his chest.

"Umm.. please Captain?"

By Tanveer's expression, Thanzia understoood that his senior didn't accept this request, that made her pout as she sobbed and let tears rain down her eyes more.

"Okay then! That's really so great of you. Thank you for understanding. Okay, Allah Hafiz."

He cut the call and kept his phone in the side table.

"Ziaa..."

"He didn't agree?"

He lifted her chin up as she took few more chocolates in her mouth.

"He agreed to transfer me to here right?"

"But you'll need to go again to Lahore."

"Just for a week. I'll come back after that."

He was about to kiss her when she bowed down to look at the bowl to grab few more chocolates, still shedding tears and sobbing like a kid.

After hours of arguments, finally they came to a conclusion that says that he will transfer to Karachi and work from here.

Though she's not fully satisfied with that, at least she'll have him beside her after his every tiring day, as they'll be together every night. Maybe that's enough and fair for both of them.

But will that decrease her fear of losing him?

Terrorist attack never go out of sight in this country, and he always will be engaged with all these. The country loses their beloved fighters every day, what if Tanveer is the next?

"Can you either eat chocolates or cry, sweetheart?"

He questioned caressing her back finding her continuously crying but at the same time never closing her mouth from eating chocolates.

She looked up at him with swollen red eyes that are wet in tears.

She didn't reply anything but removed the bowl from her lap and kept it in the table.

Ending the gap between them, she wrapped her legs around him and tightly hugged him, resting her head below his neck.

"Aaaeeeee my wife is such a baby."

He kissed her head and begin running his fingers in her back that calmed the pain of her heart.

Alhamdulillah!

She's now relived that her husband will be near her, so this pain is fading now.

But....about the pain regarding Shahveer?

And this made her cry more now. She sobbed silently in his neck worrying about him.

If only there was a chance for her to ease his pain!

"He still searches for you Thanzia."

That says, he still loves her, he still wants her in his life.

'He loves me.'

How can she ever be happy surviving with this truth?

"Just knowing her name won't help, Veer. At...least..not now....She doesn't know you...too."

"I'll let her know about me? What's wrong with that? Help me...finding her at least...."

Even though she realized her love for Tanveer, she yet can't ignore her unchanged feelings for Shahveer.

Maybe... she'll be happy with Tanveer, but knowing that she's the reason why Shahveer is in this condition today surely won't let her live in peace.

"Ummmhh..."

She rubbed her face in his beard.

"Now don't wipe your nose in my beard, love!"

••••