20th Oct, 2020

"How will you do it?"

Mayrah's Ammi hugged him tighter letting her tears make his shirt wet. He gently caressed her back while breathing heavily. Every minute seemed like an hour to him.

He again and again closed eyes to calm his shivering body but it increased more.

"Isaa..... how..will ..my daughter...uhh...she can't..."

"Aani....stop crying please."

"Let...let me go with you? I want to meet her."

"You've met yesterday. Not now please. Rest for a while." Breaking the hug, he leaned down placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Death is better for her, Isaa." Her voice came out firmly as she uttered moving her motherly desperation at a side.

Isaa totally agreed with her point. But the destiny wished the other one.

"Daadaa, come?" Mahdia entered putting her shoulder bag on. Isaa smiled at his Aani before walking away with Mahdia.

"Where's Mahdi?"

"In the car."

"Are you not upset with me like him?"

He found Mahdia smiling at his question. She turned her head right and looked up at him.

"If you don't bring Mumma back then I'll forever be upset with you."

She simply said making him expressionless.

His eyes shivered as he nodded with a weak smile and advanced towards the car.

As he started driving, his eyes every now and then noticed both his kids through the mirror.

Mahdia was busy in admiring the nature while Mahdi was lost in his thoughts. Quietly thinking about something as if he has loads of tension.

"Mahdi?"

"Yes Daadaa?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine...I'm also sorry."

He faked smiled at which Isaa felt his heart shattering apart.

"You...you know Mumma isn't well....that's why I....uhh..." He couldn't continue as his voice broke. He concentrated on driving while Mahdi again went back to his thoughtful world.

As the car stopped beside the big building, 2 doors of the car opened revealing 3 of them out.

The kids walked before Isaa as they entered inside. Isaa stopped walking seeing his assistant coming towards him.

"Mahdi Mahdia, wait here. I'm coming." Saying so he left.

His kids waited for 10 minutes but he didn't return. Being desperate, they both decided to go to their mother without waiting for Isaa.

"Daadaa will scold."

"But he's so late."

They both walked in and switched the elevator off. Within 2 minutes, they reached as the door opened revealing a big hall having many doors.

"140?"

"Noo! 141."

"Yaallah Mahdi! It's 140 number room."

"No no it's 141, I'm sure."

They became confused as they started searching for Mayrah's room.

On the other side, Isaa returned but didn't find them there. His eyes roamed around making him tensed.

"Excuse me? Saw my kids?"

"No Doctor."

"They were here...."

"They used the elevator minutes back."

"Wha....ohh..."

Isaa immediately walked in the elevator and reached at the 5th floor.

Thankfully he caught them walking there talking about something.

"Mahdia...." He fastened his steps and stood beside them.

"Daadaa we...."

"Did I deny to not go anywhere without me? Why did you use the elevator?"

He harshly questioned making them regret as they lowered their gaze mumbling sorry.

"Don't do that again."

"Okay..."

"Come." He held Mahdia's hand and walked further. Stopping on the 149 number door, he opened the door revealing Mayrah laying down on the bed while a nurse is talking to her.

"Mumma!"

"Mummaaaa!"

"Eeeeii my babies." She excitedly jumped with happiness as they both ran to her and got up on the bed.

"Mummaaa...missed you so much." They hugged her from both sides while her gaze fell on Isaa who stood on the door staring at her with a smile.

"Isaaa....."

"Talk to them. I'm coming after finishing other works." Saying so he backed off and closed the door.

"Mummaaa why don't you come back? When will you get well?" Mahdi kissed everywhere on her face as he sat on his lap.

"Maybe very soon? Do you pray for that?"

"Yesss." He happily nodded giving another kiss on her forehead. Mahdia silently watched them as she sat beside waiting for her mother's attention.

"Mummaaa..." Waiting for 2 more minutes, Mahdia couldn't hold herself back as she jumped on Mayrah's lap and tightly hugged her.

Tears started rolling down her eyes as Mayrah patted her back while Mahdi also kept quiet.

"I don't like anything. I want you. Please come back. I really miss you. You know everyone cry for you. Daadaa doesn't even talk to us properly. I love you Mumma."

She spoke non stop while crying. Her tears made Mayrah's neck wet as she pulled her daughter out of the hug and looked intensely at her eyes.

"Mahdia...I...I'm sorry....."

"My..my friend's Mumma said to her that... you will not come back..and..and Daadaa will bring another Mumma.....she..she said you'll die...die soon..."

Coughing, in between her hiccups she said making Mayrah shocked. Her painful expression changed in something full of anger as she shook her head while wiping Mahdia's tears.

"Daadaa doesn't sleep with us. He stays awaken whole night. You know he doesn't talk to anyone. When we ask him to promise that he'll bring you back, he only smiles as if he won't."

"Mahdia....stop crying...stop....sshh...why do you think like that? Mumma will be back soon. Don't cry."

She wiped her tears and hugged once again. Mahdia cried more fearing to lose her mother while Mayrah went lost with Isaa's thoughts.

"What are you thinking baby?" She found Mahdi lost staring at the window without blinking his eyes.

"Mumma....uhh...I... nothing..I love you." He leaned forward hugging her from the other side.

Still he stayed deeply lost over something.

They spent hours with each other until a lady Doctor came and took them to meet with few sick kids of the hospital.

"Hey wife." Mayrah blinked her eyes as she came out of her thoughts hearing Isaa's call. She looked at him while he sat closer to her, with a smiling face.

"Isaa..... I missed you."

She hugged hiding her face on his chest as he held her by her shoulders.

Within seconds, tears started flowing down her eyes as she sobbed intolerably.

"Do something please....I...I can't bear all...these..any.. anymore...why..why aren't you treating me... it's..so..late."

"First stop crying." He pulled her back and wiped her tears. When her eyes landed up on his cheeks, she let out a chuckle and bit her lips.

"You're crying too huh."

"Uhh...Mayrah..."

"May I come in, Doctor?"

Isaa looked back moving Mayrah from his lap.

"Come in." The nurse entered taking a tray on her hand.

"Shall I do that Doctor?"

"No thanks. I'll do it." Softly saying, he made the nurse smile as she stepped out of the door placing the tray on a table.

Isaa locked the door and walked towards the bed while rolling the shirt sleeves up.

Mayrah moved her gaze to him from the tray in confusion.

"What?"

"Something..." He came and took all her hair on his hand and touched around.

"You've beautiful hair."

"First complement on my hair I guess."

She smiled as he inhaled the scent of her hair. Suddenly her smile faded due to his continuous fingers movement on her hair and also the tray's machines.

"Are...are...you...will..you shave..my..h....Isaa...huh?" She asked making a confused face at which he unwantedly nodded.

"No....Isaa... please...no.."

"Mayrah...what? It's nothing to cry. Mayrah...." He tried to calm her but she continued crying looking down.

"Why...is it necessary?"

"Sweetheart please. It is. Why are you crying? Don't act like a baby."

He wiped her tears placing a peck on her cheek as she nodded but still felt disheartened.

"But...no...you won't do that then. Call my nurse. She'll do it. Not you."

"I'll do. Don't be stubborn."

"Nooo..I'll look so bad. I don't want you to see me bald. Aahh Isaa. Move back."

"Wallahi I'm your husband."

"And that's why I don't want you to do that nor see me like that. Isaaaaaaaaa please."

She pleaded screaming loudly at which he didn't give up and stared blankly at her.

"Please....call my nurse..."

"I want to talk about something, I'll say while doing that. Keep calm and please let me do it."

"Fine. Do it." She pouted crossing her legs around. Isaa stood up to bring the tray and sat up on the bed.

"My hair!" She sadly uttered when Isaa took scissors on one hand and brushed her hair with another hand.

"Oh I forgot. Even I need to talk about something. Our kids."

"Hmm say?"

"Got complains, saying you don't sleep at night, you don't give them time, you don't allow them to sleep with you, you don't express your love to them, you always stay alone, you don....."

"Like mother like babies. Say something new."

He simply cut her off. Mayrah blankly stared at him with hidden emotions.

"That's not a joke Isaa. They aren't getting me, I thought you'll be more than just a father to them.

Don't you notice how Mahdia cries and stays unhappy? People comment rubbish on her still she's enough courageous to not react on them but complain to me.

She doesn't even have the gut to share her pain with you. Why? Because you've no time for her."

Her anger rised up as she spoke making Isaa guilty. He continued cutting her hair with full attention but still something else occupied his mind.

"And Mahdi...what's wrong with him? Why does he seem to be so lost? I feel like he's so burdened inside that he doesn't even have time for other stuffs to think about.

Just a 5 years old kid! Did you see his tensed sense?

Stop only being a good husband and doctor. Be a good father also.

At least till I go back to them."

Silence, Guilt, Torment.

"I'll... I'll work on..that.."

"Thank you very much." She forcefully smiled and looked down.

10 minutes passed as silence played in between them. Suddenly Isaa stopped and put his hands down.

"Mayrah....."

"Hmm?"

"I..I don't know...I'm..I'm scared to speak....I...."

"About what?"

Mayrah asked still looking down. Not getting any answer, she made her gaze up at him, unexpectedly finding his eyes red and filled with tears.

"Don't cry. Say." She came closer and wiped his tears.

"Speak Isaa."

"Your surgery will be done after 3-4 months."

"Is that not a good news? I'll be fine after that, right?"

He coughed to clear his voice and then continued shaving her head.

"There's a machine created before 17 years, for...this disease. It was applied on one patient for 4 weeks....it worked very well....if they had done that for more 2-3 months then he would've totally get fine."

He spoke as she listened carefully.

"Then? What happened then?"

"But doctors didn't continue the treatment..as...he..he requested then to kill him instead."

"What? Huh? Why so?"

"Mayrah.....I...I didn't know about all these so deeply. I t..."

"Tell me why did he want to die if that could cure him?"

"Because the pain is similar to the pain which is felt when a body is burnt alive."

Surprisingly her eyes widened as she heard him. Shaking her head, she removed his head from her hand and questioningly stared at him.

"Astagfirullah! Don't joke, stupid."

"Ago your condition was well....a major surgery with little hard work would have been enough...maybe...yeah..

But now that machine... therapy...is...a must....

Your each and every new cell is getting affected. I've no other option than

this or....simply...death."

She shivered as he finished speaking and shaving her whole head.

Tears continued falling down reddening her eyes while he kept breathing heavily, trying to control over his emotions.

"How does that machine work?"

"You'll lay down... the machine will be kept up your body and a kind of gas will get inside you, damaging those cells.

Your outer body won't be effected much, many parts will bleed which doctors will be cleaning...but...from inside that will feel .... intolerable..."

"Isaa....why are you scaring me. Who shares like this? What kind of way is it? Say nicely....why are you answering like an enemy?"

She cried angrily questioning him. But all he concentrated in, is her freedom from this pain.

"Your body will feel burning from inside. Until you faint, the therapy will go on and then you'll be shifted to any AC room and rest for a day.

Then again..again..again...again...

Till every new and healthy cell takes birth, maybe that will take 3 months?

Then a surgery and complete peace, forever."

"Stop taking like that. Stop it. I know I'll choose that but you should at least say nicely. It feels like you're inte....."

"I'm scaring you because I don't want you to choose this.

Death is peaceful, Mayrah.

Just...just a pill and you'll be freed from this pain, in Jannah, no pain, no torment, no t...."

"Shut up. Did I waste years just for having death before getting fine?"

"You can't bear the pain...."

"It's just for 3 months. I can and I will. You just go for it."

She hugged him with a smile but only she knows how she's feeling from inside.

Fearful thoughts made her weaker as she imagined how the upcoming months will go.

And there, he sat like a statue having no movement. His eyes only blinked after seconds as he wondered over her situation.

"But...are you sure that...it will guarantee my health?"

"Yes...yes..."

"When are you starting that?"

"Next week."

"Scared?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you scared for me?"

As she asked holding his face closer to hers, he managed to smile giving a nod.

He touched her bald head making her realize that.

"Uhh ..do I look bad?"

"The most beautiful woman ever as always."

"I love you..."

"I'll call the nurse, have a bath. I need to talk with other doctors."

Stepping back, he said and in no minutes left the room.

As soon as he stepped out, she couldn't hold herself back from letting tears fall continuously as she managed to run to the washroom and scream out loudly.

He too, let his tears fell as he sobbed a lot while walking slowly.

He ran his fingers through his hair letting tears flood more while his head ached badly. He unnoticed the surrounding where people stared at his broken form.

"Doctor....eeh.." Suddenly a nurse moved the wheelchair where an old man sat. Isaa looked down realizing that he was about to bump with the chair.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's fine dear." The old man smiled which faded immediately when he noticed Isaa crying so badly.

Isaa sat on his knees and took the old man's hands below his chin, holding them tightly.

"Are you fine, son?"

"He was on the last stage of cancer. Alhamdulillah fully cured now." The nurse said making Isaa smile.

The smile died as tears increased more and he rested his head on the man's lap.

"Why are you crying? Are you sick?

Don't cry, have fate in Allah."

"My..my wife....my wife...I can't...let her...suff..suffer...she's...aah...Allah......ALLAHHHH!"

He couldn't continue anymore as he fell on the floor while sobbing loudly.

Everyone moved their attention to him as he started acting crazier.

"Daadaa....."

Minutes passed and then he stopped screaming hearing a soft tone from behind.

He looked back finding his daughter coming to him.

"Daadaa." She reached to him and held his face with her tiny hands.

"Mah..dia....."

"What happened?" She asked with care in a whisper wiping his tears away.

"Your... Mumma..."

"She'll be fine. Don't cry."

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