24th Sep, 2020

Writer.

"I'm asking you something Isaa, you hear me?"

His Abbu asked in a seethed voice to which he looked up before blinking his eyes to not allow tears fill in them.

"Ye...yes Abbu?"

None blamed him for what is caused but by their behaviour he can understand how disappointed they are with him.

"Spending the whole day in the hospital won't bring any solution. Talk to Mayrah and decide." Mayrah's Abbu spoke. Isaa nodded his hand and stood up.

"It's l.. late..." Unable to voice out loud he whispered and rushed to his room.

Mayrah patiently awaited her husband dressed in a chiffon Sari that she managed to wrap around her body not experienced enough.

Though Isaa's order strictly restricted her to use even a little touch of makeup, she happily broke the rule and applied dark red lipliner on lips along with light kohl to her eyes.

"What more?" Glaring at herself from the reflection, she ruffled her hair making them messier.

She then stood up to turn the lights off as the room lightened with fairy lights and candles.

"Mayr....hhh.." Isaa gasped as he clicked the door open.

"Mayrah?"

Guessing her plan for tonight he prayed for an escape. He has also decided to let her know of her pregnancy but seems like murdering her smile would punish him very bad.

"Doctor!" Handling her Sari, she slowly advanced few steps towards him seeking his attention, he turned his head to the left and saw her coming. He wasn't even done in checking her out when she lost her balance and fell down on her feet.

"Oowww...."

"MAYRAH." He ran to turn on the lights before running to her way.

"Eeeh...."

"Love..."

"Abdo..men...uhh.." She gasped massaging her abdomen that is unbearably torturing her with a sharp pain.

"Heels? Heels, why?"

Caring gaze long ceased, he passed her a murderous glare causing her huff back in annoyance.

Seeing her hand on her abdomen, he shifted her to his thigh and removed her hand from there to affectionately caress the place.

"It's ok Isaa. It's paining from long back." He then made her sit on the bed and himself fell on his knees beside her, his gaze still eyeing her abdomen.

"Hey over dramatic doctor. I'm ok."

"Make up, heels......oh my you even waxed, say noooooooooo." He stood up staring at her in disbelief.

Mayrah slapped her head.

Couldn't he for once be positive?

"Mayrah? Why baby?"

His eyes demanded 'I won't ever repeat this sin, forgive me for this time.' from her.

"Just lipstick and kohl. And come on, waxing is ok!"

Admiring herself through running her palm over her cleanly waxed glassy shoulder, she giggled and gazed at Isaa with innocence.

But there he stood angry, annoyed, helpless and stubborn to consider anything.

"Why don't you listen to me?"

"Because you don't let me do anything for my husband."

"Who's the husband? Me. If I don't want these stuffs then what's the need to do all that?"

Sitting back on his knees, he complained as his hand rubbed her abdomen.

He looked down there for a minute that made him shiver with the nightmarish thought of losing his baby.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and bowed his head to her lap, nuzzling her stomach.

"I love you Isaa, You didn't marry me just to become my doctor, Look I'm the sick one, but I'm full of life and you are the one to be dead at heart."

"Your..body might be sick, for that my heart is sick too."

His stated in a low voice hugging her waist.

"Doesn't disallow you to not live this marriage life happily."

"I promise once you get cured, I'll be healed too."

"Hmm.....how do I look?"

"Sweetheart you're looking beautiful. I love you like the way you are. You need nothing to make yourself prettier, you already are."

"Now when I've already done so, can't you just consider it?" She asked as he looked up. He chuckled and nodded his head.

"What do you want?"

"Mmm......will you do what I ask you to do?"

"Why not!"

"Then act typically romantic." To her demand he abruptly shook his head and burst out in laughter

"I don't like those...uhhgg... Mayrah. Let's sleep."

He got up on the bed and settled her on top of him.

"You're boring. You'll not even get attracted to Al Hoor Al Ain in Jannah, idiot"

"Am I not attracted to you?"

"Yeah that's why I forcefully get myself some lovey dovey moments."

He inhaled a deep breathe in and digged his face in her neck inviting warmth and peace in there.

If only love could be controlled, things would have gone just like the way he preferred.

"Answer me you Doctor."

"You'll bleed more now Mayrah. Please don't wax again."

She sighed at his words.

"All these because I'm sick? So you try to stay away from me? Or maybe you feel scared to get addicted to me and then suffer after I die. Is it no......."

"What rubbish. Shut up. Mayrah. Now listen." Rolling themselves and bringing her down him, he held her face closer to his.

"What?"

"I want to tell you something."

"Hmm...say?"

"First promise me unlike every other time you'll listen to me and won't go against my will."

"Huh. Depends on what you say."

"Mayrah?"

"Sorry. Okay say."

"Do listen to me carefully and stay silent till I finish."

Noticing seriousness in her eyes, she frowned.

"Any... anything bad, Isaa?"

"Listen first."

"No no. I won't. You'll ruin the night. Isaa there's timing for everything. No, I don't want to hear anything."

She yelled and turned to the other side guessing that it must be something about her disease which is the least she would prefer to listen.

"I wan....."

"Why did I even wear this thing." Her eyes filled with tears as she sat and began undoing her Sari.

"Mayr...."

"Shut up. Get lost. It's useless to do anything for you."

Hurt and disappointed, she glared at him which he returned her before putting on a helpless expression.

"I'm sorry. Sit down. Listen......"

"You wanted to sleep so sleep."

She tried to get out of his grip but he hauled her over him before turning off the lights.

"Leave me you coward."

"Shut your mouth now."

"Look Isaa it hurts a lo...."

"Wifey...I love you. Wallahi the reason behind my behavior isn't fear of letting you go after being addicted to you, believe me."

Isaa whispered to her hear, lovingly rubbing her nape as she stopped struggling and listened to him.

•••••

Finishing Fazr, she joined Isaa in the balcony who's busy sharing of his unintended mistakes to the sky.

Mayrah slid her hands through his arms hugging him tight, inhaling in a deep breathe along with his ethereal fragrance.

He turned around to her holding her by her waist as she nuzzled her nose in his chest.

"I just reach here." She murmured chuckling, caressing the left side of his chest.

"So? You reside there too."

"Ohho! Romantic words don't suit you."

"Confessions do, hmm?"

"Hmm.." She breathed hugging him again.

"Can we talk now?"

"About what?"

"Come here." He dragged her to the couch and made her sit on it. Kneeling down, he held her face in his hands putting on a smile.

"Eew I feel nauseous. Say soon."

"You're pregnant."

"Wh....."

"Sshhh....listen to me. Seal your lips until I finish." He said putting his finger on her lips as her eyes widened in surprise.

Isaa bowed his head down to her lap and pulled her dress up to kiss her bare abdomen.

"Baby...."

His heart began aching miserably as he kissed there for a bunch of times, scared to let his baby go, again compelled to choose his wife between them.

"Is...aa.."

"It's been 41 days. The..fetus is deformed and there's high possibility of de..death too while giving birth. Even if the delivery comes out to be successful, you'll get double of every problem after it's birth.

The baby's life might be in danger...and you know your condition.

I..I know the fault is all mine. I can't change it but.....

Having babies isn't in our plans. Not until you get cured.

Abortion is also.... dangerous to your health but better than giving birth.

I can't take this risk. I could have done abortion without letting you know but the last decision solely depends on you. Though we have no other choi......"

"Done? Last decision is mine? Okay so that's a clear NO, end quote. Now let's get up."

She roared, her baby voice yelled maturely, firm in her decision that made Isaa shiver.

Kissing her abdomen for the last time, he leaned up and stared at her with his blurry tearful eyes.

"No stubbornness in this matter, please." He kissed her knuckles before she pulled her hands away.

"Isaa! You must be kidding me right? Instead of being happy you decided to abort the child?"

"I've...reasons, I can't just...."

"I'll bear the consequences. But I'm never going to kill my baby. I repeat, NEVER!"

"How..am I going to let you die knowing that not aborting it might make me lose you?"

"Isaa shut up. How can you even think to abo....."

"You know, a similar patient died few days ago. Her condition was way better than yours. And now your pregnancy will make it even mo......"

"I don't care."

"Mayrah you're making me angry now!" Shut up and listen to me. If you pass 120 days then it can't be done so tomorrow you're going for abortion and that's final."

He said, standing up. Tears rained down Mayrah's eyes for having him against her but she knows that he cannot force her for she's the mother.

"You know what? I'm the one to carry the child and I'm the mother of this baby. It's my decision wether to keep it or throw it away like you said.

I don't.....'

"Did you hear me? I said we are going to abort so that's it......"

A slap to his cheek that she forced with the most of her strength turned his head sideways as he was cut off with it.

"Mayr......"

"Instead you go and die."She yelled and walked out leaving him in tears.

"I just chose you between you too."

He screamed following her to their room.

"The baby is made of both you and me, I can't abandon it."

•••••

"Don't tell me I was the last to know about it!"

Mayrah glared at her Ammi, who still stood like a statue, plastering an expressionless look in her face.

She then turned to Isaa's Ammi who is also silent and frozen.

"Everyone knew? From when?"

"Two...two..days..."

"Ohh so you all must be involved in that filthy plan to abort it?"

"Will...will he really go for..it..?"

"Yeah yeah of course. We are going for abortion. We don't need this baby because I'm sick so it's better if we kill the baby, got it?"

She sighed, fake grinning as if she's ready for what she just said.

"Mayrah..... We thought at least you won't decide this. How can you agree to kill your own baby?" Isaa's Ammi asked in a whisper, loathing this decision.

"He's a man, but you're the mother...and you easily agreed to..."

"Allah! I'll never ever go for it!"

Mayrah rolled her eyes at them.

"But you just said that the baby should die because..."

"I...I..simply mocked...I won't allow him that."

Both the mothers smiled in pleasure giving Mayrah hopes of convincing Isaa.

"Nothing will happen to you and the baby. Just make Isaa realize that."

"Hmm...okay I've to shower." Mayrah rushed to her room.

As soon she stepped in, her heart wrenched hearing her husband.

"Okay... we'll be there within half an hour. Prepare the OT and please ask the gynaecologist to......"

"Excuse me? I'm going nowhere."

Mayrah screamed cutting him off.

"Mayrah..."

Walking to him, she snatched his phone and threw it in the couch.

"I'm not going for abortion PLEASE!"

"Let's just meet your doctor for once, decide after that, I beg, please love."

He pleaded holding her to him.

"I'm firm on my decision, please Isaa, don't do this....it's our baby..I..I can't lose it."

She caressed his beard speaking in a low voice.

She balanced her body on him unable to stand still, feeling her legs breaking off as she shivered in fear.

"Don't test my patience love please. Why would I choose to let the baby go if...."

"I said NO!"

"Okay! Let's go to the hospital first.'

"We will go for check ups now okay? Assure me that...you won't do anything without my cons..."

"I'll do....Mayrah, I have to..I'm sorry.."

She gasped as her hands fell down from his shoulders, her bloodred eyes rained heavily seeing no pity in his ones.

"Please... Isaa..."

Unable to argue further, she lost her conscious the next minute in his arms.

••••

"Doctor Isaa please. Try to understand. You're wasting time making it riskier for her."

The gynecologist again spoke the same words scaring me, despite being firm on the decision, I feel attached to the soul inside my wife to allow myself to let it leave me.

Seeing her body laying there unconscious makes me afraid of once having her lifeless in the white bed.

"Doctor Isaa? Are We Doing The Operation?"

"Can..can't we choose any other way? I..I..just uhh..."

I know there isn't any, still.

"Okay now you are acting more like a husband and father than a doctor!" She irritatedly said.

"Give...me..time. I need to make her agree to it."

"Allah! Please Doctor, she's a mother. Even if we guarantee her death, she will choose to give birth to her child."

"Oo.. okay, prepare her." I voiced out against my will.

They began their job while I sat helpless, staring at her numb. I know that her reaction will be worse than I expect but, that's the only option for her betterment.

"I.. Isaa...ISAA? Where am I?"

Allah....not again!

I immediately ran to her when she was about to get off the bed.

"Sweetheart...calm down..."

"You Just Shut Up. Isaa I'll murder you. Take me back to home. Please."

"Sshhh...hey...listen to me.."

"Ms.Mayrah, calm down. Please." The gynecologist came and pulled her from me.

"Leave...mmee...noo... please... Allah."

"Hey please. Hear me once. Please. Don't cry."

After minutes of trial, she finally calmed down and sat silent, travelling her gaze around.

"Listen please. Is it not better to let the baby return back now than leave after 9 months? That time it will hurt much more."

She tried to convince her understandingly only to be returned with Mayrah's glare.

"Isaa...." Her gaze came to me, eyes tearful begging for rescue.

What can I do?

Nothing's in my controll.

"Mayrah...listen..look at me."

"Kick him out of here first." A pillow slapped my face from her.

"Please... concentrate on me."

"I hate you. You don't deserve to be a father. You're the worst. Leave."

"Ms.Mayra...."

"WHAT? Would you agree to kill your child?"

"No, but I'm not in your situation."

"Oh Allah! Allah! Nothing wrong will happen to me through my baby at least. Please don't do this to me."

"You know you can take a baby after you get fine, right? Don't risk yours and his life for now.'

"Listen I said no so it's a no. I won't go for abortion."

"We then will forcefully need to do that."

"Ohh really? Who are you? Listen don't act like my husband or I'll kill both of you. Make him understand instead of wasting your time on me."

I walked to pull her to me but she forced me back with a punch in my chest.

"Mayrah..."

"Please Isaa... please..."

"I love you. I wouldn't have wanted this too but I can't let this to be a reason to lose you."

I wiped her tears but she wailed more.

"Allah..will help us right? Let's leave it on Him... please...no abortion.. please.."

"Don't be stubborn please."

"I SAID NO!"

••••••

is

But when the mother's life is at high risk, or the child's, or the fetus is deformed and doctors assure that to lead any of them to danger or death,

it's permissible.

Though it is to be done within first 120 days. If the days pass, then IN ANY SITUATION,

Because that time it starts to grow from a soul to a human body.

So nothing can be considerate.

If Allah wills, he'll save them and if not, that's his matter, Allahu Alam.

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