《You're the guy my dad never shut up about? | S. Rogers [1]》36. Darcy
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"It's so good to be home!" Tony sighed as he walked out of the elevator.
"Not with you around" Nat mumbled.
"Yeah, let me out of this elevator!" Kami pushed her way out.
"Yeah, me too" Clint followed.
"Same" Steve and Thor walked out. Neither of them looking at each their.
What was that about?
They all made their way out of the elevator and into Stark Tower. Their California vacation is over. It was time to go back home. Tony walked into the living room and spotted a woman sitting on the couch, watching the Minions movie, a bowl of popcorn on her lap, bags of chips and candies around her.
"Who the hell are you?" He loudly asked. The girl turned around and asked him the same thing.
"Who the hell are you?"
Jane entered the room and she was slightly confused to see her friend there "Darcy?"
The team went over to check everything out and Darcy smiled wide when she saw Jane and Thor.
"Jane! Hi. Oh hi Thor!"
"What are you doing here?" Jane asked in disbelief.
"I heard Thor was in New York and you're with him. I didn't know where you guys were staying but I remembered that Thor is part of the Avengers and their secret hideout is with Iron Man. So I just came to Stark Tower and the nice little robot voice man let me in" Darcy rapidly explained.
"Nice little robot voice man let you in?" Clint slowly asked.
"JARVIS!" Tony shouted.
"Well he didn't let me in, per se. More like I tampered with your security system and I just let myself in. British voice man was very nice" Darcy explained.
"Again, who the hell are you?" Tony asked Darcy.
"Oh, I'm Darcy Lewis" she said between mouthful of popcorn.
"She's my intern/assistant" Jane said.
"Intern/assistant? Jane, after everything we went through in New Mexico I believe that I am more than your intern/assistant. I'd say I'm your close friend" Darcy told Jane. Jane sighed and rolled her eyes. Everyone was quiet and Gali started to laugh.
"If she can get in here then we really need to tighten up security around here" they agreed.
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"Breakfast anyone?" Pepper asked.
"Yes" they nodded.
"Well I'm gonna need some help so..." She eyed them, silently taking volunteers.
"I'm going to have a word with Jarvis" Tony spoke "downstairs Jarvis!" He growled.
"Kami?" Pepper turned to Kamilla.
"Uh- I think I'll go with Tony. Yeah. I'll go with Tony. Tony is good. Yeah, him. Tony" Kami kept nodding as if trying to reassure herself that she's making the right choice to go with Tony than to stay up there. Kamilla left before they could question her weird behavior.
"What the hell is wrong with freckles?" Tony asked. They shrugged. Tony shrugged as well and went down to the lab.
"Okay then, so would anyone care to help me with breakfast?" Pepper asked again.
"I'll help" Nat offered.
"I'll budge" Jane nodded.
"Alright, I give in" Bruce said.
"I would help but I'm watching a movie" Darcy pointed at the tv.
"You can stay here with the guys" Nat motioned to Thor, Clint and Steve.
"No!" The three guys shouted at the same time.
"Uh that is- I'll- I'll help you guys with breakfast" Clint sounded shaky.
"Y-yeah and I-I'll go for a run" Steve motioned outside.
"I-I'll stay here with Darcy" Thor sat down on the nearest couch.
"Why are you all so skittish?" Bruce asked the guys.
"No we're not" Clint shook his head.
"Yes you are" Nat nodded.
"You would know all about people being skittish. You're an assassin you see it all the time!" Steve retorted.
"In case you all have forgotten, we got a breakfast to make" Clint told them "We're too many. Nat and Gali can stay out here"
"What?" They asked confused.
"He's right, we're too many. You two stay out here" Pepper agreed with Clint "Breakfast will be ready in an hour" the four cooks went to the kitchen, leaving Nat and Gali out there with Darcy, Thor and Steve.
"I'll be back in an hour" Steve planted a kiss on her cheek and left. Nat and Gali stood in confusion.
"What the hell was all that about?" Natasha questioned.
"Your guess is as good as mine" Gali sighed.
They were all sitting at the table having breakfast, getting to know Darcy. But no one could ignore the awkwardness between Thor, Kami, Clint and Steve. They were acting weird and skittish and avoided contact with each other. They didn't say anything. They've been acting like that since they left California.
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That was last night.
"Can you pass the jam?" Kami asked Clint.
He looked down at the jam and handed her the jar, turning his head away from Kami. Kami doing the same as she reached for the jam.
"Alright what the hell happened over there?" Bruce demanded.
"Nothing. Nothing happened" Thor quickly replied.
"Yeah. We just went for a walk" Kami nodded.
"Come on. What happened?" Pepper asked.
"Alright" Steve sighed.
"No!" Clint, Thor and Kami yelled.
"Steve, we swore we never tell!" Clint pointed a finger at Steve.
"But they need to know. We can't keep acting like this" Steve tried to reason with him.
"Come on, tell us what happened!" Tony said loudly. All four of them shared a look and Steve took a breath.
"Kamilla got stung by a jellyfish"
"Oh, I know how that feels. I feel your pain, freckles" Tony kindly told Kami.
"So she got stung by a jellyfish, what's the problem?" Natasha asked.
"The problem is what Steve saw on the Discovery Channel" Kami motioned to Steve. His cheeks are tainted pink.
"Oh gross, you peed on yourself?!" Darcy scrunched her face in disgust.
"Eww!" And "Oh gross!" Broke out around the table.
"What are you ewwing about? You were going to pee on me when I got stung by a jellyfish!" Tony glared at his sister.
"We were kids. Besides, you're my brother. I'd pee on you anytime!" She told him.
"Eww, gross" Kami scrunched her nose.
"Don't eww me. Tony was pee free. Are you pee free?" she asked her, eyebrows raised.
"So you peed on yourself?" Jane asked Kami.
"I tried, but I can't bend that way" Kami frowned.
"Sorry pal" Tony patted Bruce on the back.
What the- oh, gross. No. Blegh! I can't get the image out of my mind now! No! Gali shook her head to try to clear it from those images.
"Anyway, I turned to Steve for aid" Kami nodded to Steve. They all looked at him. Noses scrunched.
"Kami kept pressuring me. She was in pain and I didn't want to-" Steve spluttered.
"Whip it out?" Tony smirked.
"Tony shut up" Pepper hissed. Steve's cheeks went from pink to red.
"I couldn't do it" Steve stared at the table.
"Of course you couldn't. A gentleman from the 40s would never do that" Tony laughed "Ow!" He narrowed his eyes at Pepper.
"So we turned to Thor" Steve mumbled. They all turned to Thor and he was looking away from them.
"It didn't seem right" Thor shook his head "I couldn't. How could I?"
"The second most chivalrous man in the group. Really Kami, 40s guy" Natasha motions at Steve "and no sex until marriage?" Motions at Thor "You go on a walk with those people?" She finished.
"Hold on, wait" Gali stopped everyone "How does Clint fit in all this? Did he pee on you?"
"Much worse" Clint muttered.
"What's much worse than peeing on someone?" Bruce asked.
"Watching someone getting peed on" Clint answered with no emotion.
"What?" Gali chuckled.
"I saw it. I saw Thor peeing on Kamilla's leg. I heard her yelling at him 'Do it Thor! Whip it out. I've seen one before!'" Clint exclaimed.
Gali snorted and tried to hold back her laughter. The others doing the same. Except Steve, Kami and Thor who are ten shades of red and Clint is right after them.
"And that's when I saw it" Clint's voice is cracking "Thor was peeing on Kami's leg and she was leaning against Steve" his voice finally gave away and he looked away in embarrassment or shame or something.
After a minute of silence, they all broke out in loud laughter. That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Oh my god. The way they were acting, how they were recounting what happened. Galilea would pay good money to hear them tell it again.
At least something good came out of this... We can always count on Thor if we get stung by a jellyfish.
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