Jin found himself in a strange situation.

Strange, because it was a conversation he'd never expected to have with a person he'd never expected to have it with.

"So..." Jin fumbled with his words, trailing off and trying to find the conclusion he'd found earlier, the one that had prompted him to text someone he'd never expected to text.

A strange situation, indeed.

"I just wanted to say...thanks?" Why did that come out like a question? Jin asked himself, mentally groaning. "Thanks," he repeated, nodding as though that would somehow land more impact and confidence to his statement. "For helping. With Yoongi. And before that, with Jimin, when he was having a rough patch and...yeah. And for encouraging Hyungwon to be friends with Jimin when he didn't have any. And for being there for my brothers..." When I wasn't. "Just - thanks. You know. For all of that." It means a lot, Jin almost added, but he cringed as the words echoed in his head, sounding like a poor imitation of a store bought card. "Shit," he swore softly, realizing how much of a train wreck he must have sounded like.

But Jooheon's soft laughter made him look over. "I'd say you're welcome, but there isn't really anything that I deserve thanks for."

Jin stared at Jooheon. "You're kidding me, right? I've spent the past few years so focused on...everything else...that I didn't really pay attention to everyone around me, and while I was busy being a dumbass, you made sure that my brothers were safe and okay, physically, mentally...I mean, I wish I would have done it myself, but I'm glad that you did. Even if..."

"Even if what?"

"Well, even if our friendship sort of ended." Jin looked down at his hands.

They were sitting on the bleachers, and the metal was cold against Jin's butt, the chill seeping through his jeans and making him somewhat regret his decision to meet there, but it was an important place for Jin. The bleachers overlooked the empty football field, a field that held a lot of memories, good and bad, and the atmosphere was too charged for Jin to just let go of it. He was drawn back, for one reason or another, and it had just seemed like the right place to have this conversation. Plus, they were alone, and that was important for Jin too.

He looked over to see Jooheon staring at him incredulously. "You make it sound like it was unavoidable," Jooheon said, and Jin winced.

"Well..."

"Well, nothing. I'm not saying that you had to bring me with you into the land of cheerleaders and prom kings, but a hello every now and then wouldn't have hurt, Jin. When you made the team, you dropped me as if you'd never known me, even though I became a friend to you when you had no one else."

Jin's eyes traced him shoelaces, ashamed at his own behavior. "Why didn't you tell everyone?" Jin asked, still unable to raise his head. "You know. How I used to be. A loner. A weirdo. A crazy kid who talked to things that weren't there."

Jooheon shook his head. "Why would I tell anyone, Jin? Why do you make it sound like it's natural that I'd want to ruin you? Just because you stopped talking to me doesn't mean that I'd be mean enough to try to hurt you by trashing your reputation." His tone made it clear that he thought that Jin was rather stupid to suggest such a thing.

"Well...I thought you'd be angry...you know..." Jin mumbled. "I always felt sort of bad. I didn't mean to replace you, really...just, one day, I was a nobody and that was fine because I had you, and then I wasn't a nobody more, I was somebody, and-"

"And I wasn't enough," Jooheon finished. "Because I'm a nobody through and through."

Jin's silence was a guilty yet clear confirmation.

"I get it," Jooheon said, and Jin found it hard to tell whether or not Jooheon was mad at him for not denying. "I get it, really. I'm no quarterback. I'm not a point guard. Hell, I don't even have any pom poms or whatever."

"Jooheon-"

"No, it's fine. We can't all be popular, right? And maybe that was something you were interested in, but it's not for me. And besides, while you were all busy playing the senior year hero, I was busy doing things that I thought were important."

"Like helping Jimin when he wouldn't talk and helping Yoongi when he was having a seizure," Jin restated as though trying to force Jooheon to realize the magnitude of his actions.

"And other things. I've got a brother too, you know."

"How did you know that Yoongi was having a seizure, though?" Jin asked uncertainly. "I mean, I've heard of them, but I've never seen one before, so I didn't know if...if that's what it was..."

"Hyungwon used to have them," Jooheon said almost nonchalantly. Or maybe that was the wrong word. Maybe it was more like a wound that had already been healed, leaving the memory of pain, but not the pain itself. "He took meds. Apparently, for some people, their seizures just sort of go away. Hyungwon was lucky like that. He hasn't had a seizure in years, and he was able to stop taking his meds."

"Oh," Jin murmured. He'd never known. He'd never even thought to ask. "Well...that's good. That they stopped, I mean. Not that...yeah." Jin struggled to think of something, anything, to talk about, because the small bit he'd prepared - yeah, he'd used that already, and he didn't want to cut this moment short in case it meant something.

Jin wasn't sure what it all meant yet.

"Um, well, Jimin and Hyungwon might have gym together next year," Jin said, repeating the small bit of family gossip that he knew.

Jooheon frowned, and Jin couldn't understand at the moment why. "I thought Jimin was allowed to skip gym."

"Well, he was..."

"So what changed?"

Jin opened his mouth, looking up at the clouds, before realizing that neither he nor the clouds had the answers. "Well, I'm not really sure. Dad talked to the principal, I guess, and they thought it would be a good idea." Jin hesitated before looking over at Jooheon. "Dad...he mentioned that you got out of gym too."

Jooheon nodded but didn't elaborate. When he noticed Jin staring at him, he tilted his head. "What?"

"Well, it's just, back when I had first met you - you said that you didn't have to take gym."

"Right."

"But, it's just, you said you made your dad write it. You said it was because you were insecure about your body and stuff. But you made it sound like that was a lie."

Jooheon shrugged, his long, slender fingers tracing swirls on his jeans.

"But was it?"

"Was what?"

"Was it a lie?"

Jooheon looked down thoughtfully before looking up at the clouds as though he, too, were seeking answers beyond himself. "I don't know. Maybe at one point."

Jin frowned.

"It's not a big deal, Jin. I've just never been comfortable walking around almost naked in front of other people, let alone kids from school who I don't even like."

"Did they tease you?" Jin asked. He was starting to realize that there was a whole entire side to the story that he'd never known - Jooheon's side - and he'd never bothered to ask or even wonder about it until now. He was starting to wonder how much of what Jooheon had told him was a lie and how much was true. "They made fun of Jimin," he added, as though that would somehow justify Jooheon's treatment as well.

Jooheon just shrugged, tapping his thigh, but he didn't seem particularly agitated. "You know how boys are. It's hard to tell what's a joke and what's not, and you don't want to be the wimp that tries to call them on it. I just found that it was easier to avoid having to guess altogether." Jooheon sighed as he took in Jin's worried eyebrows. "Jin, you don't have to worry about this. It's just who I am, okay? And I'd rather be me, an unpopular nobody, then change myself to fit everybody else's standards."

Jin was quiet. He knew that Jooheon had sifted him into the second category.

"Because you know the worst thing about trying to fit everyone else's standards?" Jooheon went on, and Jin remained silent, waiting. "They're dynamic, Jin. They change. You might fit the mold for a second, but then they morph, and you find yourself trying to fit that one now. That's how they get you - they keep you running, always trying to fit into the box that they want. You'll never be enough. Yeah, maybe for a second or two here or there - but is that even really you anymore? If you have to keep changing yourself to be who they want you to be, does the original still exist after you've spent all that time cutting away all those layers of yourself?"

Jooheon paused as though just hearing his own words, and he broke out in laughter, although Jin didn't understand what was so funny since every word seemed to strike Jin's soul and reverberate outward through his whole being. "Shit, man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so deep there. I took a philosophy class to replace my gym credits, and look where that got me."

"If-" Jin cut himself off, and he felt Jooheon look over at him curiously. "If, let's just say, someone did cut away a lot of layers to be something that he - o-or she - wasn't - let's just say that happened - well, I mean...could they ever go back? Do you think? Are they still there in the center somewhere?" Jin asked carefully. Am I still here somewhere? Am I still real?

Am I still Jin?

Jooheon took a second to think, his face turning more angular as his expression grew more thoughtful. "I think," he began slowly, "that the basis of a person is their soul, which manifests through their intentions, which are reflected through their actions. So, I think that if someone is able to retain their original intentions - to be a good person, to make good decisions, to pursue a healthy lifestyle - then they'll be able to change their actions and behavior from there. Because it's easy to change your actions, Jin, but it's a lot harder to change your soul." He looked directly at Jin, and Jin knew that the charade was over.

"I want to," Jin began, biting his lip. "Change, I mean. I want to change. Or go back. However you put it. I just want to be who I was before."

"It's going to cost you friends," Jooheon said, more serious now than he'd been throughout their entire meeting. "You know that, right? The people around you right now aren't going to like it if you start to climb out of the box they fit you into. Are you sure you want to do that, Jin?"

Jin frowned at Jooheon, but his only purpose in frowning was to prevent his emotion from outlining his face. Even after all that Jin had done, Jooheon was still looking out for him, wanting him to be happy. "They weren't really my friends at all, were they?"

Jooheon hesitated. "That's not my call to make. Friendship is what you make it."

"And I ruined ours, didn't I?" Jin asked, biting down on the inside of his bottom lip.

Jooheon shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well...is it something I can fix?" Jin asked before realizing how selfish a request that was. "I mean...I guess that's unfair. Maybe not right away. That's too much to ask. But, maybe slowly? Day by day?"

Jooheon just shrugged again, and Jin wondered if it was a habit of his. Jin didn't really know, because he didn't really know Jooheon that well anymore. "If you want something bad enough, you'll make it happen."

"I want us to be friends," Jin said.

Jooheon stood up, and Jin's eyes followed him. "Maybe you think you do. Just think about it some more. I'm not going anywhere. Well, metaphorically, I mean. Right now, I'm going back in to the dance because it's cold out here and it's starting to get dark."

"I really do want us to be friends," Jin said, his brows knitting together, slightly frustrated that Jin didn't believe him, but he understood why Jooheon would have a hard time buying it from him.

"Don't force it," Jooheon said, turning to face the stairs down from the bleachers. "Sometimes, people just grow apart naturally, and that's okay."

"But what about the other times?" Jin asked desperately.

Jooheon shrugged, but he looked back to meet Jin with eyes full of mischief. "I guess if it happens, we'll find out."

And then Jin watched Jooheon go down the stairs and head back into the school, and he waited a few minutes before following.