《Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids》EXTRA: BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL
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"I don't know, Joon," Lisa said, pursing her lips as she leaned back against the counter, her arms crossed. "I know that some of the readers are expecting a proposal soon and I'm all on board with that, but there are still some readers who don't want me in the picture."
"Don't want you in the picture?" Namjoon repeated, blinking and scratching his head. "Why wouldn't they want you in the picture? I thought the readers said they wanted me to be happy? So why..."
"Because there are a few - okay, maybe more than a few - readers who are all hung up on the title."
"What's the title again?" Namjoon asked, tilting his head to the side. "I've got six kids. You can't really expect me to remember the title of this thing, right?"
Lisa exhaled, rolling her eyes. "Single Father. And you should remember the title, cause it's about you. Which is another things readers get hung up on; there's a whole slew of wasn't this supposed to be a Namjoon fan fiction? Why do we hardly ever hear from him anymore?"
Namjoon furrowed his brow. "Why would anyone tell a story about me? I have a day job manning a desk, and I like to spend time with my family in the evenings. No sordid affairs, no embezzlement, no secret gang life, no tortured past..."
"That's what I said," Lisa said, nodding in agreement. "But nope. Not many readers care about my opinion. Mainly because of what I was saying early, how readers are all But the title says "Single Father" so Lisa can't end up with Namjoon or it'll ruin the title! Not that I'm convinced that's how titles work. I mean, there's a book called Pride and Prejudice, which makes it sound like they aren't going to get along very well at all, and they're all lovey-dovey in the end."
"So...how are we supposed to convince the readers that you're allowed to be in a relationship with me?" Namjoon asked, looking stressed. "Couldn't we just change the title?"
Lisa gave Namjoon a look. "Really? Couldn't we just change the title, he says." She sighed. "No, we can't just change the title. What if J.K. Rowling got to the last book of the Harry Potter series and realized that Harry had a middle name that was somehow important? Is she going to go back and rename all of the books Harry Gerald Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Gerald Potter and-"
"Wait, hold up. Where's this Gerald coming from?" Namjoon asked.
Lisa shrugged. "Before our scene started, Yoongi handed me a slip of paper and told me that I owed it to him to use it."
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"Why didn't Yoongi stick around?" Namjoon asked. "He could have said hi to all the readers..."
"He's a teenager in high school, Joon. He's probably busy. But back to the point, we can't just change the title. It's nostalgic to all the old readers, you know? And besides, the author made a cute cover and everything with the words Single Father on it, not with Potential Future Bachelor Plus 6."
"Ahh, the author..." Namjoon said, tapping his chin with his index finger. "I need to have a chat with her..."
"Why?" Lisa asked, pushing off the counter and taking the seat next to Namjoon.
"Because," Namjoon said, his lips thinning into a straight line. "A lot of people are commenting wondering if there's going to be a happy ending, and I thought it was sort of cute and funny at first because of course there's going to be a happy ending, but then the comments started to sound progressively worried, and you know how I get second-hand anxiety-"
"Right," Lisa murmured, rubbing circles onto Namjoon's back with her palm.
"And I'm starting to think, Maybe there isn't going to be a happy ending. Which made me more anxious, and...well...I need a happy ending. I think I deserve it, right?"
Lisa shrugged. "It's not up to me, it's up to the author."
"Right, which is why I need to talk to her or make an appointment or whatever. If I ask nicely, she'll give me a happy ending, right? Or does she take bribes? I think I have a twenty laying around here somewhere- No, maybe I'll just ask Jimin to ask nicely because he has those puppy dog eyes that nobody can resist."
"You mean that you can't resist."
"Exactly. But Jimin is the author's bias, and since she already made him get abducted, maybe she'll be nice and let it balance out with a happy ending? Right?"
Lisa shrugged once more. "I don't know, Joon. I've heard that the author is a big fan of angst. She could throw in another plot twist at the very end. I don't think we can be too careful."
Namjoon ran a hand through his hair. "Well...if we get the author to at least confirm a sequel...that would be good news, right? Because it means we survived the ending?"
Lisa shrugged again. "Not sure about that either. It would only mean that at least one of us survived. And maybe the sequel is just the resolution of whatever the plot twist in the end is. Like if you die, the sequel might be about your kids growing into adults without you."
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Namjoon paled. "Do you think I'm going to die, Lisa? The author wouldn't do that, right? I'm the main character...or at least, I used to be...she can't just get rid of me, right?"
"Joon, I'm not omniscient."
"But the author is going to write a sequel, right? She has to, right? Because- because..."
"Listen, Joon," Lisa said, using a gentler voice as she put her hands on Namjoon's shoulders. "I'm going to talk slowly because this might come as a shock to you, but writing Single Father isn't the only thing the author does."
Namjoon blinked. "Well, right. She has to sleep at some time, right?"
"Right," Lisa said, nodding slowly. "But the author also has a job, and she babysits for two families, and she's taking two online college classes, so-"
"But writing Single Father is her job!" Namjoon protested.
"Maybe she thinks of it like that," Lisa amended, "but she doesn't get paid to do it. She needs to make money and get her education. Plus, she has her own family, and, well, it is summer time, so if the author has any friends, she might want to hang out with them..."
There was a brief moment of silence.
"Does the author have any friends?" Namjoon asked cautiously.
Lisa opened her mouth, hesitating. "That remains unconfirmed...but at that I'm trying to say is that the author is busy sometimes with other priorities."
"So you're saying...that she isn't going to update every single day?"
"Well, no, probably not."
"But- okay, well, what if I go into the comments and write Please update! or message the author or post on her board When are you going to update? Won't she update then?"
"Well, Joon, I don't know how to break this to you, but when you ask someone to update ten minutes after they just updated, they tend to ignore your message. Or it backfires, and the author decides not to update for a longer period of time."
"But doesn't it make the author happy, knowing that people want to read more?" Namjoon asked, confused. "Just who is this author, anyway?"
"Of course it makes her happy. Almost every comment does. But it can be stressful when readers put too much pressure on her, is all. She's only a little bit older than Jin, after all."
"Well, why is the author writing about parenthood if she isn't a parent?" Namjoon asked. "This author just confuses me. I don't understand her at all."
"Because she thinks that family is important," Lisa said, smiling at Namjoon. "And that she wants to spread positivity through this story by impacting people's lives for the better and improving the relationships readers have with their own families. That's part of the reason the story is family-friendly, as chapters with more swearing are marked with warnings and there isn't any smut or chapters of a sexual nature."
"No smut?" Namjoon asked. "But I thought this was fan fiction..."
"But the author decided not to include any despite the large amount of comments inquiring about it. Both because of the nature of the book and because of the author's own beliefs and values." Lisa gave Namjoon a look. "Joon, if people want to read that sort of thing, they can go somewhere else. That's not what this book is about, okay?"
"I know," Namjoon said, nodding. "I'm sorry, I'm just a bit stressed out over the end still. Are there really only nine chapters left?"
Lisa squinted. "There are reasons why I didn't become an astrophysicist, Joon."
"150...minus 141..." Namjoon paused. "Okay, that's nine, but then there's that thing where you have to add one because that doesn't include the last chapter itself, so ten...and then an epilogue if we're lucky, so eleven...unless the author is counting this as a chapter, so ten again..."
Lisa blinked. "Jin! We need your help!"
"Oh?" Jin asked, entering the kitchen. "What's going on?"
"How many chapters are left?"
Jin shrugged. "I think it depends if I get the scholarship or not, because of course the author would want to write more about me being a successful pro athlete, right?"
"Jin, honey, you're special, but you're still just one of six kids in a family of eight, plus a flower, plus the supporting side cast of Namjoon's ex and her husband, plus the principals and the police officers and everyone's friends and enemies..."
Jin sighed. "And Toaster."
"Toaster?"
"Jimin's kitten."
"Oh. All right." Lisa looked over at Namjoon. "This should go without saying, but you'd better not go near that kitten."
Namjoon threw his hands up in defense. "I told you! I had nothing to do with the last five toasters breaking! That was all Taehyung!"
"Sorry, Joon, but I don't think anyone's going to buy that since the author already exposed you."
Namjoon blinked. "The author...sold me out? How could she? I thought- I thought we were close...she wrote this story about me, didn't she?"
"Apparently five toasters was the line, and you crossed it." Lisa looked over at Jin, who looked a little down. "Hey, chin up. You still have more lines than Lala."
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