《Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids》cxl.

Advertisement

"Can we?" Jimin asked anxiously, fiddling with his fingers although his eyes were trained upwards. "P-Please? She'll be good, I p-promise."

Their mom looked at him with hesitance. "I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"But she doesn't h-have a family," Jimin said with conviction, his hands outspread. "She's all alone."

Their mom immediately felt guilty, wondering what Jimin must have felt like for years in the Songs' house, alone, and she wondered if he was thinking about it too. She couldn't tell. "I don't think your step-dad will let the cat stay though, Jimin."

He exhaled slowly before nodding, his hands stilling. "Yeah, I know. I thought s-so."

She felt horrible, but she also knew that her husband held no more fondness for animals than he did for children. "I'm sorry, Jimin. But...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask him, right? I'll do it tonight."

She smiled, and Jimin smiled, but she felt her hands shaking. She put them behind her back.

"Have you guys thought about going to the dance?" she asked instead, and Hobi grinned.

"I've got a date," Hobi said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Yoongi is all grumpy about it because he and Jimin bet that I wouldn't get one and he lost."

Yoongi crossed his arms. "Ten dollars, Hobi. You cost me ten bucks."

Jimin smiled uneasily because he knew that there'd been no bet and that Yoongi hadn't lost anything except hope for his relationship with Jeongyeon, but he knew better than to say anything. He didn't want to wound Yoongi's pride.

"Are you going, Yoongi?"

Yoongi paused for a moment, and Jimin expected him to say no, but his answer surprised him. "I guess. I have nothing else to do, so..."

"And what about you, Jimin?"

Jimin's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, I'm n-not sure yet...I don't know who to g-go with." Which wasn't necessarily true. It was more than Jimin didn't want to go with anyone. Jimin had been harassed and lightly bullied since he'd returned to school, and while the girls weren't the main proponents of his treatment, they'd been there to laugh at him. He didn't want to go to the dance with someone who had made him feel like he didn't belong.

"Well, I think it would be great if you all went. You could all have some fun for a night. And it wouldn't be another boring business dinner," she said, smiling confidentially, although her stomach felt uneasy on the inside. She hadn't been married for her opinions; she'd been married because there'd been an empty spot and he'd needed to fill it. He needed an outline, a silhouette, a shadow, not a person. She still wasn't sure why she'd agreed. It hadn't been out of love, not like when she'd married Namjoon based solely on the fluttery feeling inside her heart and not on her brain's rationality about their stability for the future.

"Well, those aren't too bad," Hobi said, grinning. "There's another family with kids our age, and they usually get dragged along too."

"Oh? Which family is that?" she asked, surprised. She'd vaguely recalled seeing her sons talking to some other younger kids, but she wasn't aware as to which family they'd come from.

"I think the Choi's?" Hobi said, making it come out like a question as her tilted his head. "I think they said their dad's name was Seongcheol."

She blinked, opening her mouth slightly. "Choi Seongcheol..." He was an up-and-coming businessman from their rival company. He'd been extremely successful in the past couple of years, and many of the late nights that had resulted in her husband coming home pissed and slightly intoxicated involved him yelling (and cursing) at the infamous Choi Seongcheol. "Don't tell your step-father that, okay?"

Advertisement

"Why not?" Hobi asked, and Yoongi stared at her, reading her facial expressions for, well, she didn't quite know what. Yoongi had always been far too intelligent for his own good.

"Because your dad and he don't really get along," she said, and Yoongi spoke up, as she'd half-expected him to.

"Step-dad," he corrected. "He's not our dad."

She nodded, looking down. She knew that he was right, that the man she'd married wouldn't ever be a father to them, that the family they'd built was fraudulent and fake, but it was the only family she had, fake or not, and even if everyone else refused to play their part, it was real for her. "I'm sorry," she apologized before inhaling and putting on a smile. "Now, have you guys eaten? What do you say about some macaroni and cheese for dinner?"

Jimin's eyes widened. "R-Really? Can we?"

She nodded, smiling slightly. "He's going to be home late tonight, so we can have whatever we want. What are you guys in the mood for?"

Yoongi looked at Hobi.

Hobi looked at Jimin.

Jimin was still looking at their mom.

"Mac and cheese!"

***

Yoongi turned over. He couldn't sleep because they'd started yelling again, and their voices had started seeping through the walls.

He tried to remember back to when he was young, whether their parents had ever held late-night shouting matches. He couldn't remember hearing any. Then again, he'd been a sleepy little toddler and he didn't think he would have cared to wake up if they had been screaming at each other in the next room, but he couldn't remember them ever using raised voices.

There'd been other things, though. Tired glances. Sighs. Disappointed lips. Soft words that came out sharp. Sideways glances when the other wasn't looking.

All the silent tools of tension, in contrast to the harsh, dissonant tools that they used now.

He wondered which one was worse, which one doomed a relationship to fall apart, a marriage to crumble. Because maybe it was just the late hour or his lack of sleep, but he didn't understand how the methods less violent had resulted in more devastation. It was like trying to add up two and two and coming up with an orange. It just didn't process in his mind.

Did the silence belie greater problems underneath? Was the silence the melody of resignation, and violence the harmony of perseverance?

What made one fail and the other succeed?

What made one dissolve and the other unify?

What made her leave Namjoon but stay with the man in the adjacent room?

What made her leave all six of them at such a young age but made her keep three of them now?

Too many deep questions for a tired Yoongi. All the thinking was starting to give him a headache.

With a final yell from the other room, he felt his body relax, and his mind unwound.

***

Hobi woke up the other two as per usual and went to the bathroom to take his shower. Just as he reached for the doorknob, the door opened inward, revealing their mom. "Oh, sorry, Hobi. I was just finishing up my makeup. You can use the bathroom now."

"Thanks, Mom," Hobi said, going in and turning on the shower.

He waited until the mirror had started to fog up before he stepped into the water.

***

"So, about the kitten," she said at the table, and three pairs of eyes looked up holding different degrees of excitement.

Advertisement

Their step-father had left early for work. They hadn't even seen him go. They were seeing less and less of him these days, as he got home later and left earlier every day, it seemed.

They weren't too upset about it.

"If you guys keep it in your room-"

"Thank you, M-Mom!" Jimin shouted, already grinning.

She smiled back, but Yoongi noticed that her eyes looked tired. "But you guys have to take care of him, okay? And it has to stay in your room."

Jimin nodded, already thinking of where it would stay.

"We need a name, though," Hobi said, looking at Jimin and Yoongi. "And it's not going to be Calico or Gerald, and to be fair, I guess we can't pick Serendipity either." He paused before turning to her. "Can you give her a name? We can't decide."

She blinked. "You want...me...to name your kitten?"

Hobi nodded. "It's the newest member of our family, after all. After Lala, of course. And you helped name all of us and we're amazing, obviously, so you must be pretty good at it."

She snorted lightly before biting her lip, thinking hard. "All right, how about..."

***

"You're going to make us late, hyung!" Hobi shouted, already racing out the door to the bus stop, Jimin hurrying after him with one shoe off and the other in his hand.

Yoongi just rolled his eyes and waited until he heard the door close before turning to their mom. "He said no about keeping the kitten, right?"

She looked over, startled to see that he hadn't left yet. "Yoongi, you're going to miss the-"

"He said no, right?"

She paused before nodding slowly. "But he doesn't ever go into your room, so as long as he doesn't see the kitten, it should be fine."

"Why did you tell Jimin and Hobi yes?"

She frowned, trying to rationalize her reasoning. "Because it seemed like an acceptable request from a fourteen-year-old and a fifteen-year-old."

"Which means?"

She sighed, finally setting down the plates she'd been washing and turning off the faucet before turning around to face Yoongi. "I just think that you kids haven't had the most normal childhood, and this seemed like a sort of normal childhood wish. I can't grant every wish, Yoongi. I'm not some sort of magical fairy. But this seemed like something that I could do, and I wanted to do it."

"But why?"

"Because it would make you guys happy, and I'm afraid I haven't done a very good job of doing that for the past couple of years."

Yoongi was quiet for a long moment. "Are you going to call them again?"

She blinked. "I'm sorry, who am I supposed to call?"

Yoongi stared back, his face blank. "The police. Are you going to call them again?"

She frowned. "Call the police? Why would I ever-"

"Because you don't like it when he hits you," Yoongi said sharply, angry. Angry at him for using violence to keep them all glued to his side, angry at her for letting it continue. "Because you want it to stop. Because while we all have to share a house with him, you have to share a bedroom with him, every night, and-"

"Yoongi, I didn't call anyone," she said, her voice tense, and he glared at her.

"Yes, you did. I don't know when exactly. But I heard them call you the other day about your call. They called it domestic abuse. And you said it was an accident. But it's not an accident. You can put on makeup to cover it up, but it doesn't mean that it didn't happen. You can make the color disappear, but not the memory." The kitchen was silent. A different type of silence than the one that had driven her and Namjoon apart. "So why didn't you tell them that it wasn't an accident, that he's hurting you, that you don't feel safe with him? Why didn't you tell them to help you?"

"Because," she said after a moment, tilting her head, her eyes watering slightly. She had unconsciously wrapped her arms around her rib cage as though to defend herself. "Because it's not-"

"Don't tell me that I'm wrong because I know I'm not!" Yoongi yelled, clenching his jaw. "And don't act like it shouldn't matter to me just because you left us ten years ago. I'm not talking about then, I'm talking about now, and you're still my mom and I'm not just going to go to sleep every night knowing that he might be hitting you and that you're going to have to wake up early tomorrow before you make us breakfast to hide the bruises so we don't ask about how you got them!"

"They would have taken you all away," she said softly, her lips trembling. "They would have taken you all away from me. If they found out...what was going on...that we aren't suitable parents...you would all be taken away, and I would be alone. I don't mind being separated from him, but not from you three...I can't...I can't take that, Yoongi, you're all I have left..."

Yoongi knew that she didn't mean that she didn't love the other three. Rather, the problem was that the other three didn't love her, that they didn't see her as their mother. That wasn't something Yoongi could fix for them. They'd have to change themselves in order to accept her, and for now, Yoongi, Jimin, and Hobi really were the only three people she had on her side. "But at least you wouldn't be abused," he countered, and her shoulder came up slightly, in a shrug or just as a result of shaking, Yoongi couldn't tell.

"What's a few bruises when I have you three?"

Yoongi felt his heart do something in his chest, something that hurt, but he didn't want to analyze it right then and there. "It's physical proof that the man you're legally married to is using you as a punching bag."

"And you three are proof to me that there's a God who believes in forgiveness and redemption," she answered softly. "And maybe a little bit in consequences too. Maybe this is what I get, punishment for my sins or something like that. I deserve it. People have suffered worse for less. And I have you three." Something else appeared in her eyes. Desperation, maybe. Hope for something she knew she couldn't have. "I know...I know you want to go back to Namjoon...to your dad...and I...if..." She bit her lip, hard enough to make Yoongi wince. "If you all want..." Her voice got quieter with each word. "I understand...if you want to go...I'll have to talk to my lawyer about custody...but I won't force you to stay with me out of guilt or pity or anything...I just...I just want you to know that I love you all...I love them too...and I just wanted a chance to love you all again...even though you're not mine to love anymore-"

"No," Yoongi said.

"No...no what?" she asked, looking lost. "I know you're not mine, that I'm just borrowing you but-"

"No," Yoongi repeated, gritting his teeth. "No, we're not leaving. That isn't to say that we don't miss living together with Namjoon and our brothers. But like it or not, we're your kids and you're stuck with us. You can't get rid of us even if you begged."

She stared at him, disoriented, her eyes wide and slightly unfocused. "But- Namjoon- he's-"

"He's awkward and clumsy and I don't know how many toasters he's broken and blamed on Tae, although it was confirmed that Tae really did break one of them but the rest I'm not sure of, and yeah, he's a great dad, but that's what he is, a dad, not a mom. That's you. And it doesn't matter why we're here, even if it's because you betrayed Jimin's trust by announcing our secrets in the middle of a courtroom - it doesn't matter because we're here now, and we're not going to go away just because you asked nicely. And you're stupid if you think that you deserve to be beaten just because you asked if we could take in a kitten or any other time you say something that goes against him and his sick illusion of what a perfect family looks like. Nobody deserves that, no matter what they've done."

She turned around to hide the wetness in her eyes, facing the sink and staring at the plates. "Don't you want to go home?" she asked, her voice broken as she asked the question she'd never wanted to ask because she'd always been afraid of the answer she'd been sure to hear.

"Not every person only has one home," Yoongi said casually. "Although it feels less like home with him here. But sometimes, home isn't a place, it's a person." He looked away, somewhat embarrassed by his own words even though he knew she wasn't looking at him. "I'm staying," he said after a moment. "Even if you asked Jimin and Hobi, they'd say the same. But don't ask them because sometimes just having a choice in front of you tears you apart more than whatever your choice is." Yoongi looked over at his mom's back. "But I'm not just going to let him hit you. Maybe I would have done that before..." He didn't know how to finish his sentence. Before you started to feel like Mom to me. Before I realized that you care. Before I started to understand you a bit. He gestured vaguely to conclude his sentence. "But I won't. Either you call the police, or I'm stepping in the next time he puts a hand on you."

She looked over her shoulder, her eyes stricken with fear. "No, Yoongi, you can't. I know that you're a growing boy but he's stronger than you and-"

"He's stronger than you too," Yoongi snapped. "It doesn't stop him."

She swallowed. "But I don't want you getting hurt-"

"What, and you think I enjoy seeing you in pain?" He crossed his arms, shaking his head. "This ends, one way or another."

"I can't call the cops," she said. "They'll take you all away no matter what you or I say."

"Then I'll handle it."

She still looked scared, but she turned her head back to face the sink as she turned on the water faucet, her movements slow, and started washing a dish. "Are you going to tell your brothers?"

She heard no response.

"Yoongi?"

She looked over her shoulder, the water still running down the drain, to find that he'd left the kitchen.

    people are reading<Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click