"What happened to your head" were the first words out of Namjoon's mouth when he saw his children at the kitchen table eating breakfast the next morning.

All the kids looked at Jungkook, who looked at Namjoon, blinking. "What do you mean, Daddy?"

Namjoon just stared at Jungkook in shock. "It's- your hair- I-" Namjoon closed his eyes and shook his head. He would have to have a discussion with Mark later about how to properly watch children to make sure they didn't go and give each other haircuts that made them look like a coconut.

Yoongi just smirked.

Namjoon was pretty sure he'd found the culprit. He pointed at Yoongi, who shrugged innocently, but Namjoon wasn't buying a cent of it. "You and I are going to have a talk later."

Yoongi just shrugged and went back to eating his cereal.

Namjoon sighed, taking a seat at the table, and as his headache started up, he rested his forehead where his bowl was supposed to go. He'd asked Mark to babysit the previous night because he'd gone out drinking - alone - and hadn't wanted the kids to see him drunk. He hadn't gotten drunk in- well, since his wife had left him. But he'd needed a break, just this once. Maybe it had something to do with going on his first "date" since becoming single again. Or maybe there was only so much time that you could spend raising six kids without having a hard drink.

Maybe both.

But one thing that Namjoon had forgotton:

Hangovers are a bitch.

Namjoon groaned, kneading his knuckles into his forehead, and Jin watched him, worried.

"Daddy? Are you okay? Are you sick? Are you not feeling well? Is something wrong?"

"Daddy's just tired," Namjoon said shortly, because all of Jin's questions were making his headache worse.

After a moment, Namjoon felt something touching his forehead, and he opened his eyes to see Jin touching his forehead to Namjoon's, his tongue sticking out of his mouth just a little bit as he concentrated. "Daddy, your forehead is warm," Jin said, frowning. "I think Daddy is sick!"

Namjoon winced and pulled back because it felt like Jin was shouting directly into his ear. "Daddy is fine. Now you guys finish breakfast," he said quietly as he stood up and went into the kitchen to find the ibuprofen. He swallowed two pills with a glass of water and leaned against the counter as he waited for his headache to ebb.

"I'll be in my room. Jin, come get me when it's time for me to drive you guys, okay?" Namjoon asked, waiting for Jin's nod before he tiredly shambled back to his bedroom.

I'll just close my eyes for one minute, and then-

***

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Hobi asked, looking to Jin, who shrugged.

"I don't know...he seemed kind of unhappy."

"Why would he be unhappy?" Hobi asked, worried as well. "Is it because of us? Did we forget to do something? Or is it a special day that we didn't remember?"

"But what day is so special that it would make Daddy unhappy if we forgot about it?" Jin asked, looking around the table.

"Christmas?" Tae asked almost hopefully, as though he thought by suggesting it, a present would appear in his hand. They ignored him.

"Valentine's Day?" Jungkook asked, only because the girls in his class were always talking about it.

"But Daddy is alone," Jin said. "He wouldn't want to remember Valentine's Day. That's just a day for mushy gushy love stuff."

"My birthday," Yoongi said, crossing his arm.

"It's not your birthday," Jin immediately dismissed. But then he stopped and swallowed. "Guys? When is Daddy's birthday?"

They all froze.

"Um...I think it's on a Tuesday," Tae said randomly, guessing, but Jin's eyes widened.

"Guys, what day is today?"

"...Tuesday?"

"We forgot about Daddy's birthday!" Jin exclaimed before he was shushed by all the others since Namjoon could hear them. "What are we going to do?" he whispered in a panic.

"I don't know!" Hobi whisper-shouted back.

"Okay, let's all...let's all just calm down," Jin said, trying to think. "Yoongi," he said, looking at said individual. "You go stall for time. I need a minute to think."

Yoongi complained but got up to do it anyway, going over to Namjoon's door and opening it slowly. "Daddy-" He stopped when he saw that Namjoon was dead asleep.

He shut the door and tiptoed back to the others. "Daddy's asleep," he whispered, and Jin hesitated before grinning.

"All right. I have a plan. But we all have to be in on it or it won't work, okay?"

"Okay!" they all agreed, Yoongi just nodding.

"What's the plan?" Taehyung asked eagerly, standing up in his chair and leaning over the table.

"Well..." Jin swallowed. "It starts by us not going to school."

***

"Daddy."

Namjoon stirred, feeling a hand on his shoulder, shaking him. "Wha- Mm. Is it time to drive you guys to school?"

"Well, about that..." Jin began nervously. "Just, come on, Daddy! We're going to be late!" he said, switching gears and grinning at Namjoon as he tugged at Namjoon's shirt.

"Okay okay," Namjoon muttered, rubbing his eyes. That's the most refreshed I've ever felt after a 10-minute nap.

Jin led him out the door and into the kitchen, where all the other kids were waiting.

"SURPRISE!" they yelled, throwing ripped up construction paper in the air as makeshift confetti.

"What's going on?" Namjoon asked, squinting because his eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet.

"It's a surprise party! For you! For your birthday!" Jin shouted, grinning and hugging Namjoon's arm. "Happy birthday Daddy!"

"Just, hang on-" Namjoon tried, but the kids pushed him into his chair and crowded around him.

In front of Namjoon was something that sort of looked like a big pancake, if pancakes were six inches thick and burnt on the bottom.

"I tried to make Daddy a cake, but I don't know how to use the oven because Daddy says I'm not allowed to, so I made it in the pot I use to make pasta on the stove," Jin explained, watching Namjoon's face and hoping he didn't look too disappointed. "And...we didn't have any frosting, but...Happy birthday, Daddy..."

Namjoon hesitated before smiling softly. At least Jin had put in the effort.

Just please don't make me actually eat this...Namjoon prayed.

"Oh, right, we have to sing," Jin reminded the others, and they all started singing.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Daddy, happy birthday to you!"

"Okay, now Daddy, take a bite!" Jin said, grinning, and Namjoon hesitated before taking a small piece and putting it into his mouth.

It actually tastes good?

But how even?

Namjoon smiled. "All right, thank you all but-"

"And now it's present time!" Jin announced, and the other kids ran back to their bedrooms to grab their presents, all of which were poorly wrapped in construction paper.

Five minutes later, Namjoon found himself staring at quite a treasure trove: the TV remote ("batteries included," Tae had proudly noted), a pair of scissors (Yoongi had just smiled, and that made Namjoon worried), a white shoelace ("from my favorite pair of dance shoes," Hobi had said, but when Namjoon had asked him how he was supposed to dance without it, Hobi just paled), a stuffed animal kitten ("but I need him back at night so I can sleep," Jimin explained), a plastic UFO ("but Daddy has to play with it with me," Tae insisted), and a new drawing from Jin that featured Jin (surrounded by sparkles), Yoongi, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, Jungkook, and Namjoon (still drawn as an egg but with stick hands and feet now, which he supposed was an improvement).

Namjoon subtly noted that their mom was no longer in the picture.

"Well..thank you all so much for these...generous...gifts," Namjoon said, blinking. "But it's not my birthday."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Wait, what?" Jimin asked, looking at Namjoon before looking at Jin. "But I thought that you said Daddy's birthday was on a Tuesday and today is Tuesday and so-"

"There are 52 Tuesdays in a year, give or take," Namjoon interrupted. "And my birthday isn't on a Tuesday this year. It was on a Tuesday last year."

"Whoops," Tae mumbled.

"Plus, my birthday is in September," Namjoon finished, and they all stared at him for a long second of silence before Jimin coughed.

"Um, does this mean I can have my stuffed animal back?"

Namjoon laughed softly, nodding and handing Jimin the kitten as he ruffled Jimin's hair.

"Hey, wait a second," Namjoon said, tilting his head. "What time is it? Don't you guys have school?" He looked at the clock while all the children besides the two oldest grabbed their gifts back and ran off. "It's 4:00?! Why didn't you guys wake me up?!" He looked at Jin, crossing his arms. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

Jin fidgeted. "Well, we thought that if we surprised you well enough, you might forget..."

"We spent the whole day making confetti and finding presents," Yoongi defended. "And we cleaned the house. Well, I mean, we put our toys away and stuff."

Jin smiled innocently. "We wanted Daddy's birthday to be special!" He paused. "So, are you going to hang my drawing on the fridge now?" He bounced up and down.

Namjoon sighed before he found a free magnet and put Jin's picture up. Jin grinned, hugged Namjoon's leg, and ran off to his room, leaving just Yoongi, Namjoon, and the pair of scissors on the table.

"So, you're the only one besides Jin who doesn't want to take his gift back?" Namjoon asked.

Yoongi grinned. "Nope."

"Can I ask why?"

"Remember what Daddy said this morning?"

Namjoon struggled to remember. "Oh, yeah. We have to talk about you giving Jungkook a haircut. A bad haircut, if I might say. NOT that you're allowed to repeat that to him."

"I didn't do anything," Yoongi said, smiling, and Namjoon just rolled his eyes.

"You basically confessed to it this morning," Namjoon reminded him, and Yoongi just tilted his head.

"But you can't prove it," Yoongi said, his smile never faltering. "Because now your fingerprints are on the scissors."

Namjoon froze, remembering back to when he'd opened his "gift" and Yoongi had insisted that he try them out. "You've got to be kidding me. Mark let you guys watch one of those crime shows, didn't he?" Namjoon groaned. "What happened to my sweet children?"

Yoongi quickly gave Namjoon a kiss on the cheek, to which Namjoon stared at him, shocked, because Yoongi was the most resistant to physical comfort. "I love you, Daddy!" he said before hurrying back to his room before Namjoon could find a way to punish him for chopping off Jungkook's hair.

Namjoon just sat alone in the kitchen, surrounded by construction paper confetti with a pair of scissors lying on the table in front of him.

After a long moment of shocked silence, he just shook his head and took another bite of cake.