"So, what do you kids want to do?" Mark asked, smiling somewhat tensely.

Namjoon had asked him to babysit on account of having his last two sitters walk out without interest in ever coming back. Five minutes into his babysitting shift, Mark kind of understood why.

"Is he supposed to be watching that?" Mark asked anxiously, flicking his eyes over to Taehyung, who was sitting inside a blanket fort in front of the TV, which was playing a horror movie marathon.

Mark wasn't sure which scared him more: that Taehyung had known the channel by heart, or that he watched it with absolutely no expression, keeping a perfectly blank face.

Until Mark heard a dark laugh coming from inside the blankets.

The oldest one - Mark was struggling to tell them all apart even though Namjoon talked about them nonstop at work and really whenever else Mark talked to him - blinked, looking over to Taehyung. "Well..." Jin thought for a moment before smiling sweetly. "Yes...?" he said, blinking innocently.

Mark just sighed, skeptical. "Well..." He cleared his throat, trying to catch Taehyung's attention. "Um, hey...once this movie is over, the TV goes off, all right? You got me?"

A head poked out of the blankets. The boy didn't say anything, just blinked a few times before ducking back into the fort.

Mark had never been so terrified of a 4-year-old.

Is this what Yugyeom and Kunpimook are going to be like in a year or two?

Can I stop them from growing up?

Is that an option?

"Is this normal behavior?" Mark whispered to Jin.

Jin just smiled sweetly. "Yes...?"

Mark glared at the oldest child. "I see what you're doing, and I'm not buying it."

Jin just tilted his head, his eyes wide, his lashes dark, and his smile perfectly innocent. "What am I doing? I'm sorry, Mark-ahjussi."

"Aigoo! I'm not an ahjussi! I'm still so young!"

"Okay, Mark-hyung." Jin smiled sweetly.

"...Damn it," Mark muttered. The kid was too cute.

"Daddy says that sometimes," Jin said. "What does that mean?"

"It means...Don't tell your dad I said that," Mark said awkwardly, swallowing. His own kids had already heard him say a lot of worse things, and he knew it was bad parenting of him, but sometimes it was funny, hearing his own words come out of a 3-year-old's mouth.

Not that a 3-year-old should be saying the things he says.

"What do you guys want to eat for dinner?" Mark asked after a second, feeling uncomfortable. He'd felt like he'd gotten the hang of parenting down having been a dad for three years, but he'd never babysat a kid before, let along six.

Let alone six normal children, because these kids definitely weren't normal.

As though to prove his thoughts, the blanket fort immediately collapsed as the kid struggled to climb out. "Dinosaur chicken nuggets!" he yelled, clawing his way out desperately and sitting on top of the blanket nest, panting, as though he were playing a one-man game of King of the Hill.

"No, we had those yesterday," Jin said, crossing his arms.

Mark watched to see what would happen, placing bets in his head.

That creepy kid is going to win for sure-

"Oh. Okay, hyung." The smaller kid sat back down on his blankets, turning back to face the TV, while the older child just smiled serenely.

Mark wasn't sure who to be more scared of.

"Well, what about the other kids?" Mark asked after a second. "Actually, where are they?" he asked, starting to worry because the last thing Namjoon had told him was Don't let your eyes off of them. "Shit shit shit-"

"Daddy says that too, what does it-"

"Snitches get stitches," Mark immediately cut Jin off., internally panicking. "No telling your dad I used bad language."

Jin just blinked.

Mark ran through the house, checking one bedroom before stopping in the other. "What the-"

One boy was laying down face-up in the middle of the floor while two other boys were wrestling...over the sleeping child, somehow managing not to step on him.

"Kookie, just give up already!" Hobi yelled, grappling with Jungkook, who shook his head, his bowl-cut bangs flopping around on his forehead.

"Uh-uh!"

"Well, it's your fault for hurting Jimin's feelings!"

"Nuh uh, it's yours!" they argued back and forth, and Mark only then noticed the presence of a fourth child sitting on the top bunk bed with his legs dangling off and tears falling from his eyes even as he rubbed at them with his palms.

Mark went to intervene, but a blur shot past his leg as Jin hurried around the edge of the fighting to climb the ladder and sit beside Jimin, putting a hand on his shoulder and stroking his back.

Then Taehyung went to join in the fight, only in doing so, he accidentally stepped on Yoongi, whose eyes flicked open instantly as he swept his leg against Taehyung, taking him out, and as Taehyung fell, he latched onto Hobi, who grabbed Jungkook out of retribution, and the three of them hit the floor with a big thump.

Mark just stood, staring at them with his mouth open.

And I thought Yugyeom and Kunpimook were wild...

The kid who had been sleeping slowly got up to his feet, staring at the three fallen kids with a mean look. "I win," he muttered before looking up at Mark, and Mark swallowed. "What's for dinner? I'm hungry."

"Well, about that-"

"Dinosaur chicken nuggets!" Hobi cheered, but he was cut off with a glare from Jin.

"No. We had them last night. Find something else," Jin said, not using his cutesy side and instead using his scary voice.

Hobi shivered, ducking his head, and Mark was again terrified at how Jin could change faces so quickly.

"Pasta," Jungkook said, and they all sort of shrugged and nodded. "Because the last time Jin made it-" Jungkook began but, remembering that Jin was in scary mode, he quickly ran past Mark, exiting the room to save himself from a glare.

Wait a second, now that I think about it, that kid didn't look like that when I got here...Mark thought, looking over his shoulder at Jungkook, who was staring at the TV with wide, terrified eyes.

What's different about him?

Mark paused.

I'm sure it's nothing.

***

"What did they do to upset you?" Jin asked Jimin after everyone else had left the room, doing his best to be nice and gently with the crying mochi.

"Jungkook said I look like a squirrel a-and Hobi-hyung pinched my cheeks and said that it's okay if I look like a squirrel b-but hyung I don't want to look like a squirrel," Jimin choked out, crying, and Jin smoothed his hair slowly, rubbing Jimin's back in circles.

"It's okay, Jimin. Even as a squirrel, you'd look adorable and we'd love you anyway. Okay? Just ignore what those pabos said." Jin pinched Jimin's cheeks lightly, causing Jimin to squirm. "Besides, they only said it because your cheeks are so cute and squishy, okay?"

Jimin protested, but he wasn't crying anymore, and that was all Jin needed to smile.

***

Jin and Jimin joined the others at the kitchen table, Jimin with a blanket covering his head.

Mark just decided to let it roll.

And, by some sad twist of fate, the pasta was undercooked instead of salty.

***

Namjoon got home a little after midnight when all the kids were asleep.

Mark had just been chilling on the couch.

As the front door opened, Mark raised a hand in a wave before he froze.

Oh, shit...

That one kid...

Jungkook...

His hair was a bowl cut...

But it wasn't a bowl cut when I got here...

Mark suddenly remembered seeing one of the kids with scissors.

Mark dropped his hand.

Well, Namjoon doesn't need to know right now...