"Daddy, can I eat a piece of candy?"

Namjoon sighed. Halloween had been kind of fun. The kids had been cute (as expected). He'd done as best as he could to avoid the single women in his neighborhood. And they'd gotten tons of candy, either because people felt bad for them or because, again, his kids were the most adorable in the world.

The problem was that now they wanted to eat candy. All the time. For every meal. And between every meal.

"No, Jin. You can't have another piece. You had one earlier, remember?" And that had only occurred because Jin had given him those big pleading eyes that Namjoon had a really really really hard time saying no to.

"But..." Jin swallowed, his eyes already growing wider, and Namjoon quickly looked back at the TV screen. "But, Daddy...It was just one piece...not even a big piece, just a little piece...like this big..."

But Namjoon refused to look over to see Jin's gestures because he knew he'd be sucked into those eyes. "No means no, Jin."

"But, Daddy..."

"No."

"..." Jin sighed. "Daddy, you won't even look at me. Do you not love me?"

"No, Jin. That's not it at all. Not even close."

"Then why are you staring at the TV when it's not even on?"

Namjoon sighed before looking over at Jin. "I love you lots and lots and lots, okay? I love every part of you, from the top hair on your head to your pinky toe. But that means I love your teeth too, okay? And candy isn't good for your teeth."

"But I brush them!" Jin cried out. "I swear! Every night!"

"Every night?"

"W-well, maybe not Friday, but that's because-"

"No more candy. You'll make your stomach sick. Okay, Jin?" Namjoon sighed and raised his voice. "And that goes for all the rest of you who are eavesdropping too, got that?"

Yoongi slid down against the wall, sulking.

Hobi sprawled against him, only for Yoongi to push him off, and then Hobi just laughed it off and leaned against Jimin instead, who patted Hobi's hair with a smile.

"And you all did your homework, right?"

Six pairs of feet could be heard scurrying from the kitchen to their bedrooms to start on the assignments they'd neglected the whole weekend.

Namjoon just sighed. Then he looked over at the TV remote, debating whether or not to try watching a show. He hadn't actually watched TV in...

He couldn't remember the last time. There had simply been no time between making sure his kids didn't cause serious irreparable harm to each other (or other kids in their classes).

He picked up the remote, the weight feeling unfamiliar in his hand, and he hit the power button.

The screen flashed to life, turning on automatically to the news. The world was as he'd left it: ripping itself apart at the seams, tearing itself stitch from stitch. Homicides. Rapes.

Child abuse.

He shook his head, feeling his anger surface as he wondered how. How parents could do that to their own children. How their hearts didn't break as they broke their son or daughter's arm. How they could stand to physically harm the most precious treasure they had.

It made him physically sick.

He moved to change channels, mainly because he'd never let his kids watch anything like that, but then he turned his head left and right. Just for good measure, he checked under the propped-open leg of the couch for his little alien. But they were all gone, studying quietly -

He heard a bang followed by a thump and a yelp from one of their rooms. He sighed.

- somewhat quietly.

He stared at the TV. He was alone. He could enjoy some adult time, couldn't he? He'd used to like the news, hadn't he? Hadn't he enjoyed being informed and well-spoken on topics of modern policy?

But with each second that he stared at the screen, he felt his body growing heavy. He simply wasn't interested in the real world anymore, the world outside of his house. No piece of celebrity gossip or new discovery could ever captivate his attention the way Jin's attempts at cooking or Yoongi's gummy smile or Hobi's kindness towards his siblings or Jimin's puppy eyes or Taehyung's miscellaneousness or Jungkook's shyness could.

Nothing mattered to him anymore outside of watching his six little sunshines grow up.

Namjoon felt his eyes grow heavy and within minutes, he was asleep.

Only, he forgot one little detail.

***

"Daddy, I finished my homework!" Jin shouted, but upon hearing no response, he padded into the living room. "Daddy, did you hear me? I-" He paused, seeing Namjoon sprawled across the couch, dead asleep.

The other children followed him in.

"Daddy's sleeping," Hobi whispered, grinning.

"We should draw on his face," Yoongi suggested, but Jin shook his head.

"Daddy would be upset," Jin said sternly.

"But we never get this opportunity. We should play a trick on him. Like-"

"We could switch his socks," Hobi suggested, excited.

"No, that's too harsh," Jin said, shaking his head again.

Yoongi hit Hobi lightly. "Besides, you idiot. Socks are the same. It wouldn't even matter."

"Oh."

Taehyung just shook his head slowly, staring at the TV that Namjoon had forgotten to turn off. "Look..."

"What is it, Tae?" Jin asked, moving so he could see the screen. "Oh. OH."

One by one, they stared at the screen and slowly flocked to sit in front of the couch.

***

Namjoon groaned, rolling over slightly and running a hand through his hair. He hated taking naps because he always woke up more tired than when he'd started.

I have to stop falling asleep...he thought, yawning, and he slowly picked up on sound from the TV.

Oh, shit, I forgot to turn it off...

He reached for the remote when he paused, noticing that the show had switched from the news to some sort of modeling program where a bikini contest was underway.

Well, I mean, they're already on contestant 6 out of 10. I may as well just finish it out...

At least, that's what he'd thought until he looked down to notice six pairs of eyes glued to the screen.

The screen, which was currently displaying a woman modeling an extremely revealing bathing suit. Basically, a few strings and some lace.

To make the moment worse, Jin's head slowly turned to make eye contact with Namjoon.

Namjoon just stared back, blinking.

Ohshitohshitohshit what the hell do I tell them

Namjoon slowly hit the power button, trying to seem casual, and the model faded away as the screen went black and the TV shut off.

"So..." Namjoon cleared his throat, trying to seem casual. "Did you all, um, finish your homework?"

Jin blinked before running back to his room, Yoongi and Hobi following, and Jimin just opened his mouth before dragging Jungkook away.

Only Taehyung remained, staring at Namjoon, who could do nothing but stare back.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Taehyung asked, tilting his head.

"Oh, nothing, just, um..." To make matters worse, Namjoon was belatedly realizing that they had never seen their mother in a bikini let alone a bathing suit, period. They'd never seen her in anything but her professional work attire.

They must be traumatized.

"I'm really sorry, Tae. I didn't realize that show was on-"

Tae frowned. "Why didn't you tell me, Daddy? We could have watched it together."

Namjoon blinked. What the- "Um..." Namjoon blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what to do or say. He's four years old. How does he know about any of this? "I don't think-"

"We always watch alien shows together, Daddy," Taehyung said, pouting.

Wait

What

Aliens?

Namjoon blinked. "A-aliens?"

"Yeah, that show was about aliens, right?" Taehyung asked, blinking, completely and absolutely naive to the truths of the universe. "You're supposed to tell me when you're going to watch shows about aliens, not watch them without me, Daddy. That's just mean."

Namjoon just swallowed, thanking God that he'd been spared this one time. "R-right. Well, I'll let you know the next time I find a show about aliens or spaceships or whatever, okay, Tae? We're good, right?"

Tae sighed, jutting out his lip and crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine, but-" He broke his pout slightly with an excited smile before correctly fixing his expression to look upset again. "It's going to take a piece of candy to make it up to me." His eyebrows and chin raised in anticipation as though he were thinking, Is this going to work?

Namjoon sighed. I know I'm not supposed to cave but if Tae finds out that those weren't aliens and if he thought that I was watching that show... "Fine. Just one. And don't tell any of your brothers, got it?"

Tae nodded, happily running toward the kitchen to select his extorted prize.

Namjoon sighed, leaning back against the couch for a second before getting up and going to the older siblings' room. He was pretty sure that Jimin and Jungkook were probably too young to have absorbed anything, but it was the older kids he was worried about.

He knocked gently and went in, immediately noticing the three of them sitting in a circle on the ground.

"So, um..." Namjoon hesitated, unsure how to address the issue. "Just to clarify. That TV program - which I was definitely not watching nor planning to watch - is about, well, you know, aliens."

Jin looked at Yoongi.

Yoongi looked at Hobi.

Hobi looked at Jin.

They all made eye contact with each other before Jin nodded, looking up at Namjoon with an innocent smile. "Right. Aliens."

Namjoon hesitated, but then he decided to just nod and go with it, awkwardly stepping out of their room.

What are the chances that they don't know the truth and believed me?

He sighed, running his hands over his face.

I'm screwed.