Brushing off the awkwardness of his phone call to Yael, Haustin knocked on Lindsey's door to pick Luna up for the retirement party. On a whim, he'd called his daughter yesterday and asked her to be his date. Her answer, along with the accompanying giggles, had made his head glow and replaced a vicious withdrawal headache. Yael lingered, though, and so did the realization it was time to set her free.

Lindsey let him in with a smile, that simple gesture reinforcing why he had to say goodbye to Yael. He was still in love with his wife. Peace settled over him, and another piece of his life clicked into place. His family would be whole again, and it soothed any pain or discomfort his recovery could send his way. He glanced to the sofa, expecting to see Miles perched in his usual spot with an Xbox controller in hand.

"Where's Miles?" he asked.

"He's spending the night over at Jessup's. They're planning to set up a tent and camp in the backyard."

"Really?"

Lindsey smiled. "Out of character?"

"A bit. He always seems more into video games, computers, and Star Wars than camping."

"They have a telescope."

"Makes sense now."

"Luna's almost done, but I have something for you." She walked over to the dining table they'd had since getting married. The Thanksgiving dinners and game nights felt like a different life—one he could finally look back on and not spiral into shame. He just missed it, desperately. Lindsey picked up a manila envelope and handed it to him. "I should have given you these months ago. You're not the only one who held onto ghosts."

Unsure, he opened it and extracted stiff, legal documents. "The divorce papers? You signed them?" Grief hit him, an icy wave of denial. He wouldn't let this happen. "Why?"

"I figured a year was long enough to hold onto them." Lindsey drew closer and laid a hand on his, the one trembling under the emotional weight of the papers he held. "I forgive you, Haustin. This was caused by circumstances beyond our control, and thanks to you, I understand now. I just hope, for our kids' sake, we can still be friends."

"You make it sound so simple. Forgive and move on."

"It is. I know you blame yourself, but listen to me, I'm a big girl."

Haustin grasped onto the warm glow of hope still inside him. "What if I don't turn these in?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are we really done? Are we gone?"

"Haustin." She sounded shocked.

"Lindsey, this is us. Are we ready to give up?"

"Do you realize what you're asking?"

"One hundred percent. Our family has been broken for too long."

Tears shone in her eyes, and he saw love there. Setting the envelope on the table, he reached out to pull her close when Luna entered the room dressed in a black skirt and a sequined purple tank top, interrupting his and Lindsey's moment. No matter, he'd said what he needed to. He turned his attention to his daughter.

She looked so grown up, and he immediately felt failure creeping in, but instead of dwelling, he decided to look forward to the future and making new memories he'd be a part of. Ones they would all be part of.

They said goodbye to Lindsey and Haustin paused, sending her all of his feeling and intentions with one lingering glance.

"Where's Yael tonight? Though she'd be your date," Luna asked as they settled in his truck.

"A fancy work thing."

"Is everything okay with you guys?"

Jesus, his girl was perceptive.

"I don't think she and I are going to work out."

"Really?" Fear punctuated her question.

"Don't worry. I can deal with it, trust me. I meant what I said the other night. I'm going to be different."

"Okay. I do like her, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, no, sweetie. We're just two different people connected by a set of tragic circumstances. It's not the healthiest reason to be in a relationship."

"Does it have anything to do with the vibes between you and Mom?"

"What?" He shot her a startled look. "You noticed?"

"A blind, mute dude could have noticed."

"I'm working on it."

Sneaking a peek, he noticed her smug expression and they rode for half a block in silence, until Luna shattered the moment.

"I want to know about 9/11."

Haustin twitched in shock. It was the last thing he ever expected her to ask. "Why?"

"I'm old enough to ask the tough conversations, Dad. I want to understand."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why it turned you into a different man and made you so angry. I've done a lot of reading about it, but I want to hear your story."

"You read about September 11th?" His mind raced, trying to keep up and mulling over whether he was going to grant her request. He didn't want to burden her with that darkness.

"It had such a huge effect on us, and other families, so yeah, I was curious." Her sigh wavered with emotion and nerves. "I want to hear it from you. All of it. I mean, you actually went into the towers, right? After the planes?"

Haustin caught the longing in her voice, the desire to feel closer to him and share his nightmares. For the life of him, he could not think of a reason not to tell her. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned to face his daughter. She held her body stiff, watching him with wide eyes.

"I did. We were charged with helping evacuate the north tower after the second plane hit. I went in behind Paulie, with a rolled hose on my arm, oxygen on my back, and started up the stairs. It was tough. So many people were coming down." He stared at her hard. "Are you sure you are ready to hear this?"

She nodded.

"Survivors were descending from the upper floors. Severely burned from jet fuel, the resulting fires. I remember being amazed at how far they made it with such devastating injuries." He focused over her shoulder, lost in the past. "We were on the landing for the twenty-sixth floor, resting, catching our breath. The equipment made it physically exhausting, even for as good of shape a lot of the guys were in. The crowds were heavy, and a few of the older officers were having a hard time. Another fireman passed us going down, said he just got the orders for an evacuation.

"I also remember strange things, fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. How our boots sounded on the stairs. The stench in the air. The signs telling us which floor we were on. It's all so random. As bad as it was inside the tower, what I'd seen outside was worse. The carnage, the jumpers, if you weren't there, you can never understand how hard it was to concentrate on what I was supposed to do" He mentally shook off the past. "I shouldn't go any farther. Not tonight. I'll save the rest for another time. I promise."

Luna sniffed, wiping at her eyes and Haustin realized his were wet too. "The more I learn, the closer I feel to you, Dad. It's terrible and scary and sad, but it's also amazing to hear it straight from you. I know you don't believe it, but no matter what happened, you're a hero, especially to me." She bit her lip. "I have one more question."

"Sure."

"Why drugs? What made you so mad all the time?"

The sadness in her soft voice brought tears to his eyes. "It was never anything you did. I hope you know that."

"I guess."

"There was so much death. No one was ready for that level of destruction. People were trapped, we could hear them, but there was no way to get to them. The pile was too deep, too dangerous, full of raging fires. What we did find ... well, it'll never stop haunting me. I was mad at the men who did it, at our uselessness, at my inability to do my job, and it grew beyond my control."

"But you couldn't have done anything. No one could."

"Logically, I know that, and I've accepted it now. I was sick, sweetie, just like any person with a disease. Drugs were my way of numbing the hurt and silencing the dark voice in my head telling me I failed. It hurt too much to feel."

Luna sniffed, rubbing her nose on the back of her hand. "And now?"

"It's a struggle. I won't lie to you." He sighed. "It's like I'm coming back to life, remembering all the good things I used to have. You and Miles and your mom, you three make me feel better than any drug ever did."

"Yael helped too, though, right?"

"She did, and I'll always be thankful she came into my life. I hope she and I can be friends because she inspires me. Seeing her again jolted me out of the haze."

"You saved her."

"As the tower collapsed, yes."

"She returned the favor."

Haustin let out a dry laugh. "I guess she did." With shaking hands, he yanked her into a hug, as well as he could in the truck. "Thanks."

"For what?" she muttered against his chest.

"For being brave enough to ask me the tough questions. Now, cheer up." He released her and tweaked her chin. "This is no way to show up to a party."

He pulled onto the street, trying not to let the sights and sounds of the past overwhelm him. He wasn't there. He was in the present with his beautiful daughter. Instead of meds, her presence was what chased the shadows away. That and the chance to put his family back together.

At the rec hall, Luna abandoned him for her friends and watching her dart away, emotion welled behind his eyes. Such an idiot, he lectured himself. An amazing daughter and he had neglected her for too long. Since when was she so smart and mature?

Bill ambled up to him, wrapping Haustin in a one-armed hug.

"Thanks for coming, Haus. Means a lot."

"Didn't know you had this many friends," he joked. Haustin studied the crowd, impressed by how many had come to show their support.

His buddy's face stretched into a grin. "What can I say? I'm a charming guy. When you retire, I bet only four people show up, two of which are the caterers."

"Probably right. I do enjoy pissing people off." His laugh sobered as he studied Bill. The normally robust man was skinny as hell, deep hollows sunken into his cheeks. The skin on his arms, where it poked out from the rolled sleeves, was bruised in places. Back in the day, Bill had been a boxer in the department league, built like a brick house and unstoppable.

"How you feeling? Or should I ask?"

"Pretty good right now. I'm in between chemo sessions at the moment, so I'm taking advantage of it." It took a strong person to remain so positive, and it reminded Haustin of Miriam.

The unfairness of this disease pissed Haustin off. Should they be punished for risking their necks helping people? For doing what no one else would? He shook it off. Once he started traveling that road, paved with dark thoughts, it was hard to turn around.

"I know sorry doesn't cut it in this situation, but if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. No matter how outlandish and strange."

"You're the perfect guy if I want outlandish. Come on, man. Enough depressing shit." He narrowed his gaze. "Are you and Lindsey really done? I hear rumors you've moved on with another woman."

Haustin reeled, hearing the near exact question he asked Lindsey earlier. "I don't want my marriage to be done, but you and I both know it isn't as simple as that."

"True, but despite all the problems Marian and I had, when my diagnosis came in, things changed. It's never really over when you share a life with someone." Bill leaned closer. "Did you know Lindsey has been a godsend to Marian? Taking the kids to school when we have doctor's appointments, bringing those amazing casseroles of hers."

"She has?"

"She even organized the annual dinner for the widows, and I hear she volunteers with other survivors from that day." Bill narrowed his eyes. "You didn't know?"

"No. I assumed she had distanced herself from that world, considering its part of what came between us." Pride and astonishment held Haustin tight. Lindsey may not have been able to help him with his demons after 9/11, but he never in a million years would have guessed she gave her time in association with the day she claims took him from her. He remembered something Yael had said on their first date, about how if she'd been a firefighter's wife, she'd still mourn her husband even if he'd lived. Was that what Lindsey was doing?

Bill slapped him on the shoulder. "We're all family, Haustin. These wives are closer than sisters, the way I imagine army wives to be. One hurts or needs something; they all do. Lindsey keeping that up through your separation just shows you how special she is."

Haustin nodded distractedly, hit with the urge to drive back to her house and wrap her in his arms. Why had he been so damn blind for so long? What if it was too far gone to fix? She hadn't really said anything earlier. He didn't want to consider the possibility she wasn't interested.

Bill's expression grew intense. "Seriously. Take advantage of the time you have. This job of ours, we flirt with death every day. You never know when it's going to sneak up and wrap its icy fingers around your balls. Yael."

The earnestness of his friend's speech humbled him. It was the sort of clarity that only came from staring mortality in the face. The inevitable kind, not the kind they faced in a fire.

"You know more than anyone how hard it is to walk away," Haustin said.

Then he heard Luna squeal, a sound halfway between a word and a giggle. He turned to see what the commotion was, and his heart leaped in his chest. Across the room, he locked eyes with Lindsey. The smile spreading across her face did weird things to his stomach and stole his breath away. She wore a sheer, knee-length dress with a floral pattern on it. He hadn't even known she was coming. Why was she here?

"She has the kind of beauty that is as impressive inside as it is on the outside. Live," Bill repeated, nudging Haustin in her direction.

Haustin didn't have to be told twice. He stalked across the hall to where she was talking to their daughter. She kept half her attention on him, and when he reached her, Lindsey opened her mouth to speak, but he covered it with his instead, drawing her into a deep kiss right there in front of everyone they knew. After a couple of seconds lost in her, the faint din of cheers reached him. When he finally managed to pull his lips from hers, he was a little dizzy.

"Dad? Mom! When did this happen?" Shock didn't hide the delight from her voice.

"It hasn't happened yet," Lindsey, always the pragmatic one, said.

"She's right," Haustin confirmed. "It's going to take some work, some time, and I have to tell Yael first, but we're going to be a family again."

He sobered slightly. He had no idea how to break it to Yael. Despite the distance between them the last week or two, he cared deeply for her, no denying that. Not to mention she'd just lost her grandmother and had a right to be distracted. No, he reminded himself, this is for the best. Yael deserved a man who fit into her life, not one who watched from the outside. And he deserved to win back the most amazing woman he'd ever met.