《Vaughn》Chapter Twenty One - Fresh Wounds
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Benjamin's POV
I felt a tightness in my chest, like a deathly grip from a boa constrictor quickly wrapping its thick body tightly around me. The darkness was closing in and I could see it's ugly head rearing towards me. I felt my hands internally claw at my throat, fighting for oxygen...But it was futile. I was drowning. Drowning in a sea of my past.
was here.
"B-Benji?"
The sound of her voice felt like poison sliding down my ear canal, burning and killing every living cell inside me. I felt the bile form in my gut, threatening to explode out of me any minute now. I start to lose focus as my eyes quickly well up from the raging anger inside me that was incredibly difficult to contain at this moment. God I hated this woman.
"Benj?" She repeats.
Focus Benj. Focus. She means nothing to you.
I take a deep breath. "Is this a joke?" I finally spit out. "What the fuck are you doing here Auds?"
I was surprised at how much anger I still had towards her. 4 years have passed since she ripped my heart out of my chest. 4 years since I last held her in my arms, like she was my world. 4 years since I last saw her face. The face I once adored and loved waking upto each morning and kissed each night.
4 years.
"I said, what the fuck are you doing here Audrina?" I repeat loudly, stepping forward with my fingers digging into my hands, both restrained at my sides.
I watch as she flinches slightly from my sudden outburst, it almost made me laugh until my eyes veered off slightly to her left, connecting with Lexi's innocent face. I took a sharp intake of air, looking at Lexi's expression of horror. Was she scared? Scared of... me?
"I- I take it you all know each other then?" Lexi's voice was a whisper, breaking slightly.
Oh how I wish I didn't know her. How I wish we never met. How I wish..
I never loved her.
I look around at all the inquisitive faces staring back at me, waiting for confirmation of the connection I had with this woman. This... this
"Benji's my..." Audrina says quietly, not able to complete her sentence as she rubs awkwardly at her neck, tears welling up in her eyes.
"She's his..." Brad tries to continue on, but chokes as he too, struggles to say the words.
I take another deep breath, pushing the bile back down as I answer the question on everyones lips.
"Audrina was my girlfriend." I reply through clenched teeth. "Correction.. my slutty, cheating cunt of a girlfriend."
Low blow? Give a fuck! I was beyond furious to let that particular information go unsaid. It needed to be known. They needed to know. Lexi needed to know.
My words slowly began to sink into each and everyones heads as their eyes flicker with disgust at the woman standing a few feet away from me. All eyes slowly find their way back to me. All except for one pair of beautiful luminescent eyes. Her eyes were closed, with her head down low as her left hand clutches on the fabric around her stomach tightly. I focus on the erratic movement on her chest as she breathes in and out, backing slowly away from Audrina as her body is enveloped in the arms of a blonde female. My eyes continue to linger, hoping to get a glimpse of her face, her expression... but with no luck.
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"Benny baby, please don't do this here."
My gaze is ripped violently away from Lexi as I finally get a response from laughing internally as she chooses to call me by the nickname she made up all those years ago. Is she fucking serious right now?
"Don't. Fucking. Call me that." I reply slowly. Her eyes widen again and she begins to bite down on her bottom lip nervously. A site that used to get me hard in an instant, but thankful that there was no response downstairs.
"Answer the goddamn question woman." I continue. "Why the fuck are you here?"
"I live here you fucking asshole." She spits back, as she tries desperately to control the tears that are threatening to push their way through.
She moved here? She moved to Orlando? Why? When?
No fuck that. I don't wanna know. I don't fucking care.
But then that means... Fuck! I wasn't imagining things. I did see her that day at the park. It her!
Why the fuck is she with Lexi?
"Lad, why don't you both have a breather and take this outside, away from the party yea?" Brad suggests as he hesitantly places his hand on my shoulder while eyeing up Lexi.
I quickly recoil. "Get the fuck off me dickhead. You're as much to blame as this bitch is."
He stumbles back with a bewildered look on his face. "The fuck is your problem Benj? You can't be serious right now. I'm trying to fucking help you."
Oh I'm fucking serious alright. Everything I felt, everything I thought, everything I wanted to say that day, 4 years ago, was quickly resurfacing.
"Benny please--". Audrina repeats.
"Goddammit, what did I just say? Don't fucking call me that again you stupid bitch." I shout back.
"Fuck you Benj! How dare you fucking talk to me like this." She spits right back, moving closer to me, with her nostrils evidently flared and her hands balled up tightly.
"How dare I? How fucking dare I?" I reply almost comically. "Woman are you fucking high? My fucking brother. My own goddamn brother. I will speak to you however the fuck I want."
The words flew out of my mouth willingly. Words I promised myself I would never repeat to anyone, not even my therapist. 4 years of constant denial. She was my woman, my love. He was my brother, my blood. My best friend. This was the ultimate betrayal.
Silence fell upon us immediately as all heads turn to Brad, who had recently been fighting off Audrina from attacking me, but was now motionless and hunched over like he had been kicked in the balls. My words had affected him and his body was quick to react.
Moments passed and no words were spoken. The band had eventually caught on and quickly put a stop to the music. My ears were filled with the sound of my own ragged breaths as I try to control my emotions. Brad finally straightens out and slowly turns towards me, eyes bloodshot and teary. His face contorted in pain and guilt. All eyes flicked back and fourth between the two of us as I continue to stare at him and how broken he looked. I felt something warm and wet slide down my cheek, not realising a tear had managed to escape from my eye. My wounds ran deep and after 4 years of running away from the past and covering up the pain with temporary fixes... it's finally caught up and there's nowhere left to hide.
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"Benj, fuck... please don't start this shit again." Brad finally says, slightly choking on his words. "We've been over this a million times. I didn't sleep with her. She was your woman and I would never do that to my own fucking brother. What do you take me for?"
He was right. We had been over this a million times and a million times after that. Yet I still couldn't get my head around it. I could never erase the image of them together off my brain.
"Benj, it's been 4 years." He whispers, fighting back tears. "We've been trying to find the truth for 4 years. I can't go on like this anymore. This bitch is here now, and she needs to fucking own up to the bullshit she has caused us. Caused you."
"Stop fucking calling me names you asshole." Audrina shouts at Brad.
"Fuck no! You're a selfish, stupid, home wrecking whore. I've never done anything to you but you went ahead and ruined my life. You destroyed my relationship with my brother and Paige. All over a stupid text message?" Brad yells back. "You fucking ruined him Auds and I will forever hate you for that."
"Fuck you Brad. I did you a favour and you know it. Paige was a fucking junkie, she was just using you. You were never compatible. It was sickening to watch. Plus, you have no idea what I was going through either. You have no idea what it's like to get your heart ripped out of your chest from the person you love the most. To know that all those years together were for nothing. To know that you can be replaced by another person so quickly, to be replaced... by another fucking cunt!" She spits back. "I wish I didn't have to involve you, but I was hurting, I was humiliated, I was fucking furious. Benj betrayed me and I wanted him to feel the same pain he had put me through. I was the victim here."
"Woman you are absolutely fucking mental if you believe that!" Brad replies. "You knew I was fucking high as a kite that night you came into my room. I was fucking asleep and you..."
I zone in on Brad, as he takes a deep breath, clearly struggling to continue. I didn't dare interject. Everything was playing out infront of my eyes. Words, sentences and reasons I hadn't heard before. Everything being said was all new to me and once again my old wounds felt as fresh as they did that day.
"You're fucking lucky you know that. I could've and should've pressed charges for what you did to me, you stupid bitch." Brad finally continues. "It was practically rape!"
"Brad.." Audrina starts but is quickly cut off.
"Don't you fucking dare deny it. I was fucking high. I was under the influence. You knew the state I was in. You knew I was a fucking junkie back then so you knew I would have no control over what you were doing to me." Brad begins. "Goddamit, I thought you were Paige. Fuuuck! Why did you do that Audrina? Why? What the fuck was going through your head to think it would be ok to fucking assault me like that!"
"I— I don't know alright! I wasn't thinking. I was hurting so fucking bad and I honestly didn't go to your room that night to have sex with you. That thought never even entered my mind. I was actually looking for some advice, but when I saw you lying there on the bed, asleep and naked, I had all the intentions to walk away but I just... I.. I started picturing Benj with another woman and I.." Audrina chokes back the tears as remorse settles in. "I'm so fucking sorry Brad. I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant for any of this but you have to understand, when I found out Benji was cheating on me, I just fucking lost it. I couldn't think straight. I just wanted the pain to go away. I just.. I just wanted to hurt him back, so fucking badly and I know how much you both meant to eachother."
Wait what? I was.. cheating?
"Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on here?" I spit out, confused as hell. "When the fuck did I cheat on you Auds and with who? Where is this bullshit coming from?"
"Goddamit woman, I've told you a million times before. He never and would never cheat on you. You really don't know how much you meant to him." Brad says, running both hands down his face in frustration. "You don't know how many lives you ruined over a single text. Over an assumption. Over something that could've been interpreted in so many other ways."
"Goddammit! What fucking text?" I shout out, still being kept out of the loop. I switch my gaze back and fourth between the pair waiting for an answer. "Audrina, who the fuck was I sleeping with?"
Her gaze lifted from the floor and shot up straight at me like daggers. "Some dirty slut."
Fuck me dead. Was she always hard work?
"You're gonna have to be more specific Auds, cause from where I'm standing, the only I know is you."
Damn that fucking felt good to say out loud.
My arms were now comfortably crossed over my chest with my gaze fixed on Audrina. My emotions were slowly starting to settle down, allowing me to breathe a little easier as I begin mentally dissecting the woman infront of me.
As much as I hate to admit it... she looked good and it made me hate her even more. Her low cut loose fitting bottoms and tight mini crop top showed off her toned torso well. Her skin was alot darker than before, most likely due to the consistent sunlight here in Orlando. My gaze travelled down to a black marking that caught my attention which was located just above her hip bone. The letter 'B' was engraved onto her skin.
That's new. I roll my eyes internally. That can't seriously be about me.
I move my eyes back upto her face, watching her take a deep breath in before meeting my gaze.
"If you can't even remember which cunt you were fucking, then that leaves me to believe there was more than one." She finally replies, mimicking my posture.
"For the love of god." Brad sighs in frustration. "Apparently you got a text from some bird named Kassidy?"
Kassidy? Who the fuck is Kassidy?
"Kimberely!" Audrina says. "Her name was Kimberely."
"Same fucking shit. Either way, we don't know a Kassidy or Kimberley." Brad shrugs. "Right Benj?"
Kimberely? Kimberely? Why does that name ring a bell?
"Benj?" Brad repeats.
"What did the text say Auds?" I question.
She rolls her eyes at me. "You know what it said."
"Fuck sake woman. Stop making this more painful than it has been for the past 4 years. What did the fucking message say?" I spit out, quickly losing patience.
She takes another shaky breath in to compose herself. "It said - Come over to my place so she doesn't get suspicious." She pauses momentarily as she takes another breath in, clearly fighting back the tears. "And you replied - Can't wait."
"You... you fucking bastard. You ruined us." She continues in between her sobs. "I hope it was worth it."
That's when it hit me. The realisation of who this Kimberely woman was and I felt my legs go weak, threatening to bring me to my knees.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
I was struggling to breathe again as I finally learn the truth. The last pieces of the puzzle had finally fit into place.
My eyes drop to the floor as they begin to well up, with my emotions flooding me with hate, disappointment, regret and pain.
"I was right, wasn't I Benj?" I hear Audrina say quietly in the background.
"Auds... fuck.. Auds." I choke on my words. "You don't know how wrong you truly are. You... fuck.. Auds. Why didn't you just fucking talk to me first. Goddammit."
I need a smoke. I need a fucking smoke. Jesus Christ, I can't breathe.
"Who is she Benj?" Brad asks hesitantly, worry settling on his face as he watches me internally writher in pain.
"That woman... Kimberely... was my private jeweller." I whisper. "She... she was just a fucking jeweller."
I wanted to yell the words out, I needed to yell them out but instead they came out in a pathetic whimper.
"Auds.." I choke up again as I look into her eyes. Eyes full of disbelief as she finally puts two and two together.
"No. No no no. Benj no. Don't you fucking say it. Don't you dare fucking say it." She screams, losing her battle with her emotions as the tears begin to fall. "You're lying. You're fucking lying."
"I..." I whisper.
"No Benj. No! Fuck..." She screams.
"I was going to ask you to marry me that night Auds. Everything was set. She was holding the ring for me. The ring I had custom made for you." I took a breath in, fighting back the tears once again.
At this point she was crumpled on the floor, eyes barely open as the tears continue to fall. My heart was being ripped into a million pieces all over again and the second time around, it hurt alot more, because this time, the truth had finally been made clear and it was fucking impossible to swallow.
I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb to my core as I continue watching the woman who was once the love of my life, down on her knees, clutching her chest with her face soaked from her tears.
"Benj.. I.. I'm so fucking sorry baby. I'm so fucking sorry." She repeats over and over.
My surrounding became a blur as I let her words echo in my head. The small part of me that still craved for her wanted to surrender. It wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that everything would be ok, that we would be together again, that I had forgiven her... that I still loved her. I felt my body inch forward, determined to reach out to her.
I felt a hand grip tightly onto my shoulder, pulling me out of my temporary trance as I look up to see my brothers face, his expression was stern. I knew with just that one look, he knew what I was feeling, thinking, .
Over the years, our bond had grown immensely, intensifying the twin senses we shared, which would usually either be a hinderance or a blessing. Tonight was definitely a blessing on my part. He was the strength I needed at this very moment to help me push past the emotions stirring inside me, leading me down the path I fought against, for 4 years and yet he would always be a reminder of the truth. My reality... and the reality was, that no matter what I still felt for this woman, she ruined the best thing I had ever been blessed with. The relationship I had with my brother. He was my best friend.... and she fucked it all up.
I felt that small part of me that still belonged to her, slowly begin to fade, leaving me with nothing but hate. Hate for this devil woman. This monster. This slut that ruined my life. There was no going back, I refuse to.
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