There was something about blood dripping down someone's face that generated me. If you looked closely at the details, it was a beautiful image. A cut on the side of his forehead, gashed wide enough that it was very well possible that he'll need stitches. Blue and purple discoloration begins to appear around the injury, a clear sign of irritated skin. Then, inside the wound, pressure building to the point of bursting skin, hit hard enough to pierce you; blood spilling out and running down the side of his face like red wine. So appealing.

Maybe that was why they called me psychotic sometimes - because I liked the look of a rough lifestyle. Maybe I shouldn't say that it made me joyous to see someone injured to that extent, but more... Intrigued.

My father was the same way. He liked to see me with cuts, bruises, and blood dripping down my body. He liked it because he caused it. I liked it because I lived it. It was all I knew.

That was why when I looked at a maculate Sam, I didn't fear the view, I didn't run - I stepped into it, thrilled. I may not have been the one to do it, which was better off that way, he'd be dead if I did.

My eyes scanned the five of them in the shed beside me. Sam, Tony, and three dangerous drug dealers that I've come to know very well over the last four years I've lived in this quiet town.

They should scare me. They could easily end my life - but I was okay with that.

I said nothing to them, instead took in the view of Sam's face and waited for them to continue on with their attempts to scare me. This was familiar.

"Sam tells me that you've been helping his debt." The leader of the three, Billy gave me an evasive stare.

I glanced at Sam's face and watched as his eyes dipped towards the floor in shame. Of course, he'd spill my name once violence came into it.

I gave a smirk.. "Why hello, boys. What's it to you if I did?" My voice is low, smooth, confident.

They have guns, they could easily shoot me.

I stepped into their business, one thing you're never supposed to do.

I could win.

"Your boys and I had a deal." Billy bellowed. "They work their debt off with me, until I tell them they're done."

"And you stepping in hurts our business," Billy's sidekick chimed in. "You wouldn't want to do that, would you?"

Billy's hand lifted up, letting the sidekick slip back into silence. I should know the other two's names by now, but I couldn't be bothered.

"They wouldn't be taught a lesson if you fixed their mistakes. And how do you think it makes me look when someone tries to take control over my power?" Billy's face was calm, almost reasonable.

He was making excuses to start a fight.

"I'm sure them helping you would only hurt your game more, no?" I almost laughed, and from the corner of my eye, Tony flinched in offence.

"How you sayin'?" Billy asked. His furrowed brow caused the various scars on his face to stretch.

I laughed out loud this time and motioned my head towards Sam. "Look at him," I grinned, maliciously. "You know as much as I do what he's been doing, otherwise you wouldn't have messed up his hideous face."

As much as he tried to hide it, Billy gave a smile to my remark. It was only a flash, before he replaced his face back into the violent character he portrayed himself to be. "I advise you to stay in your own Lane Eli. Taking off the top of his clients product is ours to deal with. With consequence."

Billy was a fraud.

I shook my head and pulled out a smoke. "Fine, let them continue working for you." I lit my smoke and stepped closer to Billy, to which he puffed up his chest. "Let them rob you, you're too fucking obtuse to realize anyways. It wouldn't be my doing to make you appear as a fool, Billy. If anything I'm helping you."

Saying this seemed to have offended Billy, resulting in him pulling his arm back and extending it in full force right in my eye.

I staggered back a step before gaining my composure back. I laughed before I bounced back and charged at him before one of his sidekicks pulled out a gun, letting the other follow suit - both of them pointing silver metal at my face.

I stepped back and raised my hands in surrender before going back to puff on my smoke. I could get on their level if they pushed me far enough to, but it was all a game to them and I knew how to win. I'll let them look big in front of my so called friends for now.

"You wouldn't want to get yourself into more trouble than you just did." Billy hollered.

I raised an eyebrow.

"I actually came here to make a deal." I said, thinking quickly.

Billy's eyes lit up. "A deal? We like you Eli. As I recall, you were my best, most... Consistent client." He sneered. "And I remember you once upon a time being one hell of a player."

"That's in the past. I don't fuck around anymore." I talked over him.

I wasn't going to go back to that place. I wasn't going to fall back into the chaos that Nash involved me in. No.

"Well then?" He frowned, disappointed.

"I'll pay off Tony's debt. Let him free."

Billy's eyes glazed over. "And Samuel?"

"Keep him for all I care." I muttered.

Sam looked at me, shocked.

Billy's laugh ruptured the room. "Ruthless choice, you've made. And what about your own debt?"

I knew he wasn't referring to me helping Tony and Sam out with their debt, but about my own debt. A debt that I never paid back, a debt that I had from before I went away for treatment.

"I've done enough by not being a rat." I spat.

Rehab and psychiatric care was a deal to keep me out of prison. That didn't mean I wasn't arrested. Arrested for assaulting a man and putting him in the hospital, arrested for attempted murder, arrested for having a large sum of cocaine and speed on me, interrogated to get the names of my dealers.

I never said a word.

Billy laughed, letting it echo through the small shed we were all cramped inside of. He turned around and took his gun out of his waist band and pointed it to my chest. "What was that?" He threatened.

"I, I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Tony rushed out. "He's a maniac. I wouldn't provoke him..." Tony choked. "...He tends to me unpredic-"

One of the bodyguards whacked Tony in the face with their gun, causing him to cry out. Oh Tony, you were such an idiot.

Tony's words about me were loud and clear in Billy's ears. Billy flashed a momentary expression of fright while he looked into my darkening eyes. He switched his composure quickly, but not quick enough for me not to notice.

"I'll pay off his debt, with interest." I said, confident. "I'm not joining you."

"Well I don't think you have a choice now, do you?" Billy laughed, saying the words in the phrase of a question, but no answers expected back.

"I think I do." I pushed past the threats of his bodyguards and stepped in his face.

Billy raised his hand towards Tony and I gave him a look to keep his mouth shut.

"Consider joining us," Billy smiled, attempting to match my charming smile from earlier. "You owe us, don't forget."

I kept my focus on Billy's face, pressing my chest into the gun, stepping closer to him. My eyes darkened, my face turned malicious.

Billy grimaced smartly decided to step back and lower his gun away from me.

Billy nodded his head a few times, taking in my bold choices. "I see." He said. He turned the gun around and pointed it at Sam's head. Sam started to panic, sweat and tears colliding with one another.

I kept my cold, rock hard expression. I could tell Billy wasn't expecting me to remain so calm. He was thinking his every move.

"What makes you think I give a single fuck about him?" I asked. Billy was bluffing.

Intimidated, he clicked the safety off the gun. "You think you could try to humiliate me?" He yelled. "You're in for it now. You will fucking join me," He hollered. "You will fucking get me what I need or I will blow his fucking brains out and smear them on the goddamn wall, do you want to test me?" Billy pushed the words out so harsh, they pierce through my ears.

My growing smirk caused further hesitation.

"You think I'm kidding around, Kingsley?" Billy has killed people before. But I knew he wouldn't, he still needed Sam.

"Blow his fucking brains out and smear them on the wall, you'll just be wasting a bullet."

Sam was saying something to me but I refused to hear him. He was begging me to say something, yet I remained quiet for a little while longer.

"Heroic choice, Eli." Billy pushed the barrel into his temple further, deep enough to leave a pink rim before lowering it. He nodded to me several times again.

"Will his debts be cleared?" I muttered.

"And yours." He muttered back.

I nodded. "I'll have it to you by tonight."

The two sidekicks put their guns down as well.

"That's a good choice," He spat.

I frowned. "Alright." The feeling of wrath surfaced.

"They're not as valuable as you are, Eli." Billy smiled. "Remember tonight." He threatened. I knew I would see Billy again after this encounter. He had something coming for me.

Sam and Tony fucked me over royally.

I nodded to Tony and he scurried over to me, helpless and terrified. I let him walk out first while I still stared down Billy. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I knew it wasn't good.

Before walking out, I looked at Sam. "You fucking coward," I glowered, my firsts churning into balls.

Sam looked away in guilt. He gave the simplest shrug, avoiding my temper.

He fucking gave up my name to get himself out of this mess. He planned this all along. Unfortunate for him, I wouldn't help a rat.

I pushed past the bodies and punched Sam straight in the face, letting him tumble to the ground. I watched as blood poured down his face and out of his nose. I heard a crack in his cartilage from my punch, indicating a broken nose. I looked down at him in disgust and spat at him and stormed out of the shed.

Betrayed by Sam, I didn't think the cocksucker would ever do it to me.

Tyler texted me once, stating he had a great night with me. He was very excited to have me by his side while he walked down the aisle. I sighed, thinking that there might be a chance that I won't make it to the wedding - not with Billy planning vengeance for humiliating rejecting his offer to join him.

What would Ty think of me now if I told him I was involved with criminals again...

Tony sat in the truck with me, blood spilling down the side of his face. "Thank you, Eli. Fuck. I owe you huge..." He mumbled.

"Do you have any on you right now?" I asked, gripping the steering wheel hard.

Tony pulled out a bag of blow and handed it to me. I looked down at the powder and felt my skin start to burn. I wanted it. It would make me forget about tonight, and not worry so much. I would throw away all my hard work, but it would make me feel better.

Just a little bit...

I threw the bag out the window and started driving down the road. Tony was lucky that I had more money than most people would think. Thanks to Nash.

The car ride was quiet. Tony didn't ask any questions. None about Sam, nor Billy, nothing. He knew better. Tonight was a night that we were going to forget ever happened. Now Tony could start fresh.

I dropped him off at his house. I went into my room and walked into my closet where my safe was. I was the only one who knew the combination, but Tyler knew I kept money inside. He just didn't know how much.

I took out fourteen thousand dollars and contemplated taking the gun with me for protection against Billy - in case he tried anything on me. But I didn't. I wouldn't use it unless it was absolutely mandatory.

I made it to Billy and handed him his cash. I got shit done, and he liked that.

By the time I was back in town, it was already too late to go to work and pretend I've been there the whole time. It was eleven in the morning. It was crazy that I hadn't slept for thirty hours and I didn't even take pills to do it.

I knew my troubles wouldn't be over so soon.

I must have dozed off in my truck because when I woke up, it was close to three in the afternoon. My wish of being alone was not granted. The living room was filled with my two friends gossiping to each other on the couch, laughing and enjoying their time.

They were almost in doubles.

"Hi Eli!" Lacey piped up but her face fell short when she saw me. "Holy shit, what happened to your face?"

Aria eyed me in her natural curious tone, her eyebrows pulled together in the same way Lacey's were. Her features as beautiful as always.

"Hm? Oh." I touched my eye and wince. "I hit it on the hoist at work today."

Lacey looked convinced and laughed in return but Aria still gave me a concerned look. When I finally moved my eyes away from Lacey to look at Aria a little better, she replaced her expression with a warm, happy smile.

Immediately that unfamiliar, uneasy feeling came back.

Her burning state got the best of me. I couldn't help but want to melt away my frustration, but I was too pissed off at what's happened tonight to follow through with it. I frowned, angry at myself. Angry at her for affecting my emotions so easily, just by looking at me. Angry at everyone.

"Why are you staring at me?" I barked at her to which she flinched. Anything to get her to stop interrogating me with her eyes.

I sighed and walked to the kitchen to grab water, seeing as it felt and sounded like I hadn't had a sip of anything in weeks. I didn't look at her as I left because I felt too awful for talking to her like that. I was just so tired. She didn't deserve it. She deserved the world and I was just a guy who fucked up day in and day out.

But her face... Made me feel differently. Like I was okay.

Lacey sighed and puts her face in her hands, apologizing to Aria and whispering something that I couldn't hear.

Aria walked up to the kitchen and whispers, "Is everything alright?"

I squinted my eyes. "Yes, Aria. Leave me alone, fuck." I snapped.

Her eyes showed hurt, and I immediately felt guilty but I didn't care. I just want to sleep, I want out, I'm pissed off, and she being here didn't help.

"What the hell did I do?" She frowned and raised her voice, which caught Lacey's attention. "I thought-"

I sighed. "Nothing, I just don't want to be around you." Lies. A ping in my stomach pierced me but I ignored it.

Just apologize. I told myself. Tell her the truth. Tell her I actually want to talk to her. That she helps me feel better.

I sighed. Before she could reply, before Lacey could step in and tell me that once again, I'm being inconsiderate, I ditched my water and made my way back towards my room.

Before I closed the door, I bent down over the couch and pet Lacey's shoulder. Her expression was forgiving and concerned. "I'm sorry, Lace. Rough day at work..." I mumbled and disappear into my room.

I lay in my bed and put my phone on the bedside table, ignoring the blasts of texts I was getting from various people. I glanced at the picture frame and breathed in a sharp breath of air.

I missed her. She'd probably scold me for treating a good girl like that. But she'd also hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright and she loved me.

She'd tell me that she loved me...

I wanted to show my mother that I could be a good man. That I was a good man. That I was deserving of her love and forgiveness that she'd so easily give me. But fuck, right when I felt like I was about to finally do right in the world, I get dragged into something new. I fucked up again, and again. It was just in my nature. I hated myself.

I felt bad for treating her like I did - Aria. Her baby blue doe eyes burned into my memories. I wished I could explain to her everything that was happening but I couldn't. She said I could trust her but I didn't.

The uneasy feeling didn't go away. I wished I knew what it was. I wished I could dissect what the hell this feeling was.

What was causing it.