After that encouraging enlightening session with her Nani, Zoya had steered her life around. She now realized that everything was about perspective. A month in Lahore had awakened her soul. While she was still there, she had begun receiving good news.

Her marital status was about to change. YES, she got a proposal. Her mother informed her that there was this family that came to ask for her hand. The guy was settled in London. Her mother had informed her that they were very eager to get everything fixed but her father had politely informed them that they would have to ask Zoya before saying 'Yes'. The new Zoya didn't find any reason to object. Yes, she liked the jerk face, but she also believed that who so ever the guy her parents selected would be the best for her.

The old Zoya would have questioned who the guy was, what he did. Old Zoya would have overthought it, made comparison of the guy with the jerk face and hurt herself. But new Zoya who believed in Qadr and Allah's will, had just said that she accepted as long as her parents were okay with it. She had flaws and she shouldn't be looking for perfection. Dil bara hona chahiye, height beshak choti ho (his heart should be big, height can be ignored), she had told her mother when her mother had asked if she was interested in what the guy looked like. Zoya had even jested with her mother asking her to tell the aunty, that her toe was slightly smaller than her second toe.

I

To which her mother had laughed and said, "Zoya they know everything about you. Aur larke k Ammi keh rahi the, Zoya jesi hai humain pasand hai.( Guys's mother said that she likes you just the way you are.) That you are just perfect for her son. Balancing him out, nicely."

Maybe the lady knows me from university! Zoya thought as she dismissed the notion of the lady knowing this much about her.

Currently sitting in her university Zoya was checking the assignments which had been turned in by her students. She stared at the screen hard trying to figure out if the students had copied the codes instead of writing their own.

Just by changing your roll numbers and the variables do they think they could fool me. I have been a student once. I know the trick. She thought as she checked for the mistakes in both of them which were not so surprisingly same. Opening the excel sheet she was about to mark both of them zero when the peon knocked on her door, earning her attention.

"Come in", she replied without looking up.

"Zoya bibi there is someone here to meet you." Akbar chacha informed her.

"Akbar Chacha did you ask him whose guardian he is?" Zoya asked. She had to be sure that the man who was standing outside was the guardian of her people and hadn't come in search of Mrs. Hussain who taught Islamiat to freshies. Mostly people confused her with Ms. Hussain and were directed here to her office.

"Jee Zoya bibi, unhoon nay apka naam liya!(Yes, he took your name)" Akbar chacha replied. She looked up now, staring at the confused faced of Akbar chacha which was a mirror of hers.

Who could that be to call me with name? Fellow batch mate?

But I have lost contact with every one of them and no one knows I teach here except Hashim, Fazeela, Alizey and Kainat.

Maybe it was Ahsan. Didn't he ask me where I was, last month. Maybe he had come to pay me a visit.

Zoya concluded. She was still very curious who it was who had come to meet her at office hours in university instead of coming to her home. Adjusting her dupatta, she got up from her seat. Passing a grateful smile to Akbar Chacha, she went out the sliding door.

Zoya stared at the empty lawn and those yellow sunflowers which were just planted outside the faculty block. There was no one in the waiting area so, she had decided to look outside. Just in case that person had went outside to catch a fresh breath.

It is stupid though. Who in their right mind would leave the comfort of the well-conditioned waiting hall and come out in this heat.

Ab itni bhi garmi nai hai Zoya! (It's not that hot ) Stop acting like those burgers!

Thinking about the heat, made her feel hot. Brain is stupid like that. You think about food, you feel hungry. You think about pain, and it begins travelling in your body in form of waves. You think about cold, and you began shivering.

Wrapping her arms around herself to give her some protection against the wind that blew her dupatta, Zoya was about to head inside when a voice stopped dead in her tracks.

"Zoya!"

She knew that voice. Recognized it the moment she heard it.

Don't turn Zoya. It's not him.

But.......

If its him, you definitely shouldn't turn. He called you a loser.

I am no LOSER. If there is one. It is him. I need to tell him that. Yes!!

But you said it to him already!

Irtaza was standing a few feet away. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans, with those boots which were huge like military ones. With one hand in pocket, he stood there tall. He had shaved and for the first time he looked boyish.

Scanning him twice to be sure it was him, she finally met his black eyes which had always seemed rather cold, distant and unreachable. Not always, her heart argued. They were warm now. The warmest they had ever been. What was strikingly astounding was that those black eyes were glistering. She couldn't pinpoint at the emotion. She always had had difficulty reading him.

His face when she had last seen was grim, with those two deep forehead lines visible. And his jaw that had clenched as he called her a loser, now was calm. His lips pulled into thin line as if he was debating whether to speak or not. And if he did speak then what?

With slow steady graceful steps, she closed the distance between them. The closer she went the more beautiful he looked. She had to tell him that unlike he thought, she wasn't a loser. She was a winner. She was getting married to the guy, who was settled in London. She wanted to tell him that there were people who saw her for the winner she was and wanted her. She wanted to flex her fiancé! Call her petty all you want. But she had to do that.

Don't react. Be calm. Composed. You don't know him. You erased him, swiped him off!

Who is he?

Kaun hai yeh? Kya naam hai inka?( Who is he? What is his name?) [If you have watched Hulchul, there is this scene where Kishan bhaiya refuses to recognize his father.]

Despite all the pep talk she had with herself, the moment she got near him, she shouted with excitement. "What are you doing here?........" "Irtaza..." She added with a causal shrug to mask all her overly excited behavior, but the damage was done.

"Alizey told me you teach at PU." He replied.

"Ohh! Alizey. I see...."

She whispered as she tilted her head, trying to understand what was going in his mind. It was a sorry attempt. She didn't know why he was here. But him standing few feet away was giving her anxiety.

"Are you here to tell Mrs. Shagufta about the pot and me calling her buttercup?" She asked as she arched her perfectly curved brows at him giving him a i-bet smile.

"Did Mr-oh-so-freaking-rich-but-manners-of-an-ass.... GOD! Are you here to cost me my job? You want to snatch that away from me too?" She asked. She was just about to call him asshole in front of the faculty block.

"Zoya I ...."He began. He was struggling she knew that. HE looked at her, raised his hands in exasperation. He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes. Is he looking for some new kind of insult? Because it never did take him that long before. It just came naturally to him.

"Look I don't have time. I have a class to take. Bye." She said trying to dismiss him determinedly. Talking to him, seeing him was bringing all the embarrassing, humiliating memories which she had packed in a box and locked in the deserted part of her brain. Pledging never to stroll in that direction.

"The peon said that you don't have any class for the rest of the day." His voice was dry and humorless.

Akbar chacha!!!!

Her face was flooding with color as embarrassment pulsed through! Despite that she tried to keep her ruse, by staring at him furiously.

"Zoya! Iamsorry..." He said in a go without blinking or pausing to catch a breath. His eyes were focused on her observing even a flicker of lashes or squinting of her nose as she took in air, to calm herself. Her eyes turned from huge brown orbs with shock to some humor. And before he knew it, he could hear her giggles as she threw her head back and laughed.

Sobering up, she held her hand out in a manner to restrain herself. "I am sorry. I didn't get you. I thought you apologized. Funny because you don't apologize to losers." She said as her smile vanished.

In his mind, Irtaza was just beginning to appreciate those carefree chuckles, the dimple that appeared in her left cheek just now, when all was lost to him. He still couldn't stop himself from thinking how beautiful her smile was. Her eyes which were shining before, had grown serious as she studied him.

"I am sorry Zoya. I....." He repeated again.

"Sorry? Wow! You are sorry? You costed me everything Irtaza. My friends, my self-respect which was ..." She was furious. He was sorry. Was she supposed to bask in admiration that the jerk had finally said sorry? His apology had got to her heart, but she wasn't going to be swiveled by that.

"I am sorry. Your words they stayed with me for two weeks."

Tell me about the words! Your words slay me! Like a blade, slicing my heart!

I might have been in love-

Astagfirullah! what are you thinking.

Sach he tu hai. (This is truth)

Tha! THA! hai na. (Was. It was)

Zoya wanted to shout but she had already suffered a lot at the hands of her tongue. So, she decided against it.

"Your secrets, I didn't..."

Not again! Not funking again. We are over them. Yes, we are. You aren't going to bring them up once again and make a laughingstock out of me.

"Irtaza, please. Like you stated earlier, they weren't secrets. It wasn't that much of a deal. You don't need to apologize. I over reacted that night. It was your diary and Meena invaded your privacy. Not mine" She stated as she gave him that pained smile which is usually interpreted as "tough luck buddy, better luck next time."

Turning, she was about to bolt from the scene, with an intention of looking herself in her office when he grabbed her wrists.

Don't. Please! Not here. Don't create a scene here.

She was mentally telling and begging herself.

"Unhand me, Irtaza! I really don't have time for your conscious and your guilt. I am sorry but you aren't the Sun to this solar system. This is my workplace, and you are creating a scene." She said with her clenched teeth.

"Just listen to me once!" He ordered this time.

Does he not get that he is no position to order me around?

Zoya was jerking her arm away from him, when she saw the Buttercup (Ms. Shagufta) carrying a cactus plant coming their way.

Don't. Please! Ignore us. Please!

"Zoya, is there a problem, honey!" Ms. Shagufta asked as her gaze travelled to Zoya's wrists and then back to Zoya.

"No, Ms. Shagufta!" Zoya said smiling uncomfortably.

"Buttercup?" He had the gall to whisper. It was a good thing that only she had heard it.

Giving him that, 'utter another word and you are dead' glare, Zoya turned to Ms. Shagufta.

" It's my cousin brother. He returned from London. He is kind of upset, I got engaged. You see no one knows I got engaged recently." Zoya smiled but the disbelief in Ms. Shagufta was visible as the sun in the sky.

"I was about to tell all of you. You all are invited to my wedding. Whenever it is. You know stuff like weddings. You never know when they happen." Zoya rambled.

SHUT UP ZOYA !!!

"Congratulation, then Zoya. I pray you stay happy."

"Thank you, Ms. Shagufta! I see you got another refreshing plant. I was planning to get one for you. But I didn't know what kind it was."

"I had too. Someone broke my last pot and didn't apologize. No one is kind these day." Ms. Shagufta made a face while Zoya felt Irtaza bubble with laughter beside her.

Jerk!

"You are right Mam. They should have at least apologized after damaging someone's property." He added.

If there were any chances of forgiveness before. They were nil now. The asshat had come to apologize, she wanted to remind him.

Ms. Shagufta hummed and left them. When Zoya was sure that she was inside and out of their audible range, she turned to him.

"Leave my hand and get the hell away! I don't want to hear anything. Since you have heard my announcement, let me tell you! I am not a LOSER! And there are people who want me. Who like me, and well would love to have me in their life!" She shouted as tears began gathering in her eyes.

"Zoya!" He whispered. It was like a caress, like it pained him to see her cry.

"You are right. Lucky guy. I know you aren't a loser. I am sorry. I didn't mean it. Hell, if there is a loser it is me. You were right about me having issues and everything. You have a heart of gold. You are kind, empathic and most of all true to everyone. If I could go back in the time, I would really take everything back." He confessed.

"You mean it?" She said looking at him, staring at his face trying her best to understand that it was no trick.

"All of it! I am sorry Zoya. But it wasn't me. I didn't ask Meena to read out my diary. I don't even know how she found it. Hell, you think you are embarrassed. SHE read about my thoughts in a room full of people. About the diary and why I keep it. Living alone in London, there had to be something to keep me company. So, I began writing diary. That day when I met you, it was refreshing. I was really pissed and then you happened."

"The most refreshingly natural and funny girl I have ever known without a mean bone in her body. You are weird, you know that. Don't look at me like that. I had to write about you in it. To get you out of my mind, I had to let it out."

" I plagued your mind?" Zoya asked as she batted her lashes in skepticism.

"Yes, and I am sorry that Meena read that out. I didn't betray you. I didn't know she was going to do this" He exclaimed.

He didn't betray me. He didn't! Omg he didn't! I can fall back in love with this man. Can I not?

But I am engaged. I am engaged! I belong to some other guy. I shouldn't be holding hands with Irtaza. He shouldn't have this liberty.

The realization made her sick. It felt like cheating. Like she was betraying her fiancé, whom she didn't even know.

"Thank you, Irtaza! Thank you for coming all the way to tell me this. I really appreciate it. And accept your apology. Please do release my hand now, it is not appropriate." She whispered the last part.

Heavens, if I wasn't engaged would he have purposed me? Could we have been a thing?

No! He said he preferred mature girls. I am not even M of mature.

" But I need to hold your hand for what I am about to do next!" He replied as his other hand travelled to his coat's pocket.

No! Don't do this. Did I not tell you I am engaged! Please, I wouldn't be able to say "no" to you.

I still haven't learned how to say "no"

Why did I have to rush at it? Why did he have to break my heart? Why did I say, yes. I don't even know the guy whom I am engaged to.

I know his name is "Haider."

That's all you know.

Do you know what football team he supports? Or is he even into sports of any kind? Do you know what kind of a brother or a son he is?

Do you even know if he is devilishly handsome like someone in front of you?

I don't! And it doesn't matter.

What sort of indifference is this!

Deciding that she was allowing it to get too far, Zoya snatched her hand back.

" Irtaza! I am engaged. My parents have fixed my marriage! Even if my future husband doesn't mind, which I am pretty sure he will. I sure, do mind! I don't know what made you think you could hold my hand and have these liberties. Thank you for your apology and even your mean words. Because they changed me. And helped me. Sure, it broke my heart. My heart was already worn out. When you broke it completely, Allah put all those pieces together and made it whole! And I'd be forever grateful for that." Zoya replied. This time she was leaving. It was third attempt, and she was leaving because now, it really was too much.

"I don't mind Zoya." He replied giving her that cheeky smile as he continued searching in pocket.

What does he not mind? Is he serious? Ajeeb adamni hai! (Strange man)

"It pains me that you have said yes, without even knowing who it was. And here I thought it was my charm." He said as he winked at her.

"I know life with you is not going to be easy like I wanted it to be initially. I know that you overthink a lot. I know that's you are doing it now. I know that you have big insecurities, which shouldn't be there because you are amazing. You get uncomfortable when people compliment you. You actually look at them and blink at them in confusion. But you deserve them all. You are pretty, you are intelligent, and you are kind. And you are perfect. You hate being the center of attention, but you want to be the Sun of your people's solar system. You'll require reassurance once in a while and I'd be glad to provide it. Because you deserve to know how amazing you are. I can't promise you that us, are going to be great. I know you are stubborn to fault when you feel like it and sometimes meek like a mouse. It's seems you have a switch, no offence. But I promise you to love you and cherish you and be there for you when you are on your worst. When you feel vulnerable, when you need a shoulder to cry on.