When your gut is telling you that something bad is going to happen, you should trust it and give sadkah. (charity)If only she had. If only she had. But no, she was busy looking at Irtaza with those mooning eyes at Irtaza and blushing when she got caught.

"Bhabhii...App yahan kya kar rahi hain akeli..." (What are you doing here alone)

Zoya turned to find her best friend Alizey.

"Bhabhi..." Zoya chocked.

Of-course Alizey had to hear it.

"Zyda bano maat..." (Don't pretend now.)

"Mainay kya kiya?" (What did I do?) Zoya asked but the blush that crept on her face was an answer of its own.

"Haan Bhabhi, app nay tu kuch nai kiya.(Yes, Bhabhi you didn't do it.)

"Alizey , stop !" Zoya pleaded.

"Kyun? Sharam arahi hai apko BHABHI! (Are you blushing Bhabhi.) Kainat told me something was fishing. That there was something going on between you guys, but I didn't listen to her. At mehndi, I noticed you acting all jealous. But I waited for you to tell me! WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?" Alizey asked. Gone was the playful side.

Kabhi nai(Never)

"I..." Zoya began but there was nothing to say. What was she supposed to say?

"What I. I told you when I crushed on Hashim. I told you when I realized I was in love with him. This was important Zoye. You were supposed to tell me."

"Alizey, suno..(listen)"

"Don't listen Alizey me, Zoya. Best friends are supposed to tell each other this kind of stuff."

"But you were busy Alizey. With your husband, on your honeymoon. I didn't want to plague you." Zoya admitted.

"Shut up and speak" Alizey said as she took a seat beside Zoya.

When Zoya was done narrating the story that included everything except the part where Zoya revealed all her secrets to Irtaza or meeting him on the flight, Alizey looked at her and gave her the warmest brightest smile.

"I told Hashim that you were just the girl for Irtaza. He won't listen to me."

"You guys talk about me?" Zoya asked horrified.

"Don't look at me like that. You are our friends. And we just thought that you guys might make a cute pair." Alizey said shrugging her shoulder.

"I'll go find Hashim." Alizey said getting up from her chair.

"Wait. Alizey stop! You can't just go and tell him I crush on his cousin.."

" I know that Zoe. I need to find him because Meena is about to deliver the speech and Hashim shouldn't miss it." Before Zoya could respond, Alizey was gone.

Speech? Meena?

Zoya wasn't expecting that. But she let it slip. It was Meena's wedding, she could do whatever she wanted.

Zoya looked at Minaal, exquisite in her bridal jhora that she had designed herself. Zoya knew this because she had been with Minaal running errands finding laces and linings and what not.

"Sub log soch rahain ho ge k ab Meena ko kya bolna hai?"(Everyone is thinking, "What up with Meena.")

Minaal began and everyone nodded.

" Well, Meena ko thanks bolna hai. (Meena wants to say thanks.)

Thank you Zoe, who is like a elder sister I never had. Thank you for guiding me when you did it. If it wasn't for you, me and Moiez wouldn't be here. So, thank you.

For running errands with me, from the tailor to the dyer! I can't thank you enough." Zoya was in awie. The tears blinded her vision as she smiled and mouthed "I love you too" to Meena.

"It's my bhai's turn now. Thank you bhai! Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for stepping into Baba's shoes. I can't thank you enough for the things you did, and you do. I don't approve of all of them, but I know they are all done with good intentions.

I hated it when you used to disapprove of the night stays. I might have even called you 'kharoos' for that. I hated the over possessive streak of yours and that controlling behavior, warding off boys away from me even when you were oceans away. Seriously, kesay kar letay hain app yeh sub?(How do you manage that)" She asked Irtaza.

After scanning everyone, Zoya's eyes settled on Irtaza, who was sitting at the far end. His face was glowing. The light from the chandelier was high lightly his cheekbones.

" App nay jitna mujhe sataya hain, main sochti the Allah bhai ko aesi biwi dain jo set kar k rakh dain. Aur lagta hai who baat sach ho rahi hai." ( You have teased me a lot. I used to pray that may give bhai the bride who will correct him. And looks like Allah heard them.)

Zoya heard Meena. But everything was going in background because Zoya was looking at Irtaza Haider in that black sherwani, looking like her 'wildest dream.' The speech had given her a reason to eye him and she was doing that, quite shamelessly.

He is so handsome. BIGEST CRUSH EVERRRR. How will I get over him?

Crush? Abhi tu bol rahi the mohabat ho gae hai.... (But you were saying you were in love with him)

Ho tu gae par "risk hai" (Yes I am . But there is risk) [

Aur gaoo "sansooo ki zaroorat hai jese zindagi k liye bus ek sanam chahiye Ashiqiui k liye."

Mil gaya sanam. Ab dekhna yeh sanam kese sansain band karwata hai apki.

(You wanted a bae now see how this bae, be littles you. Just wait and watch)

When Zoya got back from here lala land and started concentrating on what Meena was saying. Meena was informing everyone about the girl.

"Masoof likhtay hain,(He writes...)" She said and then fake clears her throat.

"She's not the normal girl. She's the real girl. Her chappals breaks on the middle of nowhere. She tells, "You are not fat" lies. She loves yellow but always go for black because she thinks it makes her look slim. And because her friends think her favorite color is black. She is clumsy."

Is she talking about me? I hope it's not me.

But that is me. Chapaal... yellow. fat...

No, not me. It can be any one.

Zoya stared at ground, hoping that the nightmare would end but it had just began.

"They always say look down at people beneath you and you will feel blessed. And well, I do feel blessed. Ajeeb larki hai. Haar jagah fail.(She is a strange girl. Fails everywhere)", Meena reads out and everyone laughed.

"That's you isn't it, Zoya" Alizey appears out of nowhere and inquired. Zoya found herself shrinking in her space.

"No, it's....... not. It can be anyone." Zoya managed. But she knew she was talking about her. She had told all that to him.

"She pretends that she knows chakra's and all the spiritual awakening stuff, but she googles them because she wants to be a supportive friend. She thinks she is a big failure and have insecurities. HUGE INSECURITIES. She pretends to read Rumi ..." Zoya couldn't understand what was happening. By now, Alizey had realized that she was talking about Zoya and shouted "Zoya".

Now it's all, a little too familiar.

Where did that come from. Abort abort abort !!!!

Everyone was laughing. Everyone who knew her, was staring at her.

Oh no. Oh no oh no ...

"You don't get charkras?" Alizey asked horrified.

Please don't tell Kainat?

A mean frustrated part of herself wanted to shout, " Haan nai samaj ati mujhe chakras ki. Nai hai koi meri thesri ankh. 2 ankho k darmiyan!" (Yes , I don't understand them. And I don't have a third eye.)

But didn't.

Instead, she gave Alizey a look begging her to keep quite.

Please Alizey it's not the time for confrontation.

"No, I do. Don't look at me like that ", Zoya managed after a while, her voice was breaking apart. She was breaking apart.

Her mother was giving her the look, that disappointed look as if she had staked her vampire heart.

Ab kya bata dia is nay? (What did she tell now) Zoya wondered as she stared at the floor. Everything was getting airtight.

"I got to go now. I will explain later, Alizey. Tell Ammi I am going home." Zoya said as she run away from the hall.

It was like one of those horrible experience of childhood where you drop water on your pants while watching a horror movie and now everyone is laughing because they think you peed in them. You want to run. You do run but where to?

Locking herself away in the washroom, Zoya began crying her heart out. She felt exposed. What had just happened? Did her personal, private secrets get revealed in a room full of at least what 50 people who didn't even know her and now are going to think that she is a complete loser and a sucker. God, he had to write everything in his diary. He didn't even miss the vase that she broke. Now Alizey's mom was going to know that she was the culprit. How was she going to face them! How was she going to look at them in the eye, knowing that they knew.

"She blushes a lot. Like a lot a lot. She has this verbal diarrhea. She is judgmental but she is trying to overcome that vice of hers. She is so different and sometimes extremely stupid. Sometimes, her stupidity makes me go numb. And I think how she had managed to live? She is funny. She is ......." Zoya could still hear Minaal's voice through the speaker. She tried to block the sound by placing her hands on her ears, but it was of no use.

She was mortified. Everyone knew her secrets now. She had cried even though she hated crying in front of people! Who cares that she was crying? She cried through the alley and turned towards the bridal room which was farther away, hopefully away enough to not hear Meena's voice.

Bridal room main at least I can sink on to the floor.... Bathroom main tu kapray ghanday ho jayen gay(My dress will be destroyed in bathroom)

Crying all the way inside the bridal room. Zoya locked herself in the room.

She felt betrayed. Even though she shouldn't. She hadn't actually asked him, not to disclose her secrets. But it was common curtesy. Was it not?

IF I KNOW YOUR SECRET, I AM SUPPOSED TO KEEP IT, TILL I DIE. That's what normal people did. He could have told them to Hashim instead of penning them down as if they were some sort of recipes. Or locked them away like they were codes to nuclear bomb.

Well, they did cause similar destruction in your life.

He should have locked that diary in a vault. He should have....

He should have at least snatched that diary away from Meena. But he let her read it.

Zoya closed her eyes to block everything. But the moment it was pitch dark, she saw people snickering as if she was a joke. Musrat Aunty had flashed her a satisfied smile.

She's a loser. Zoya heard Meena's voice over and over again.

Her life was a joke. Her friends hated her. Maybe despised her. And she deserved it. She had lied to keep them from hurting and had hurt them eventually. Even though it was Meena's fault, she blamed Irtaza for all of it. She didn't care about all the nice things he had said about her and maybe would have said is she had stayed.

Why! Why! Why

She sobbed as she sank on the floor as she had supposed she would.

After a minute, she heard the door knock.

"Alizey, this is not the time to tell me I am a crap friend. I know I am. Ab jao, yahan say.(Go away)" She bellowed.

"Zoya", she heard his voice and found her anger boiling up.

"Zoya, darwaza kholo"(Open the door), he commanded.

What an alpha assh*le. Kis haq say hukam day raha hai.( How dare he order me.)

Sharminda ho jae yeh banda majal hai. ( Does he have no shame?)

"Zoya, open the door", he said again as he kept banging on the door.

"Zoya, stop acting like a child and at least listen to me once." He ordered.

The child word got to her head. After destroying her life completely, he wanted her to act maturely. Vehemently wiping her tears, she stepped away from the door opening it.

"Kya masla hai tumhara huh?"(What is your problem) She asked as she took in his face. She wasn't going to be swayed by his handsome face. NO! Never!

"You. Who do you think you are to destroy my life like that?"

"I didn't do anything."

"You didn't. Your sister did! Same thing! YOU wrote my secrets in your diary? KYUN?(Why) You didn't even console me on plane. Par secrets saray likhe hain tumnay!(Still wrote all the secrets.)"

"Because I found that refreshing..." He began

"Oh I see! Irtaza jerk Esquire found me, the clown Zoya refreshing and made me a laughing stock at his sister's wedding where he had printed her name in gold on the card. Was that your Master plan? huh?" She demanded.

"You don't know what you are saying Zoya." He began again as he tried to led her inside but she pushed her arm away from his reach, holding it out to stop him.

"Me? Actually, it's you who don't know what you want. What am I to you?" She asked.

"...."

"Of course you don't know. You are the one who is confused here. Some days you treat me like a really close friend, asking me for advice on personal, 'confidential' stuff. Some days you don't even consider me an acquaintance. You don't introduce me when your friend asks about me.

"Zara knew who...."

"Stop it, Irtaza! You treat me like a stranger, but you write about me in your diary!"

"Zoya." He began again!

"You listen to me Irtaza. Main hoon ge loser.(Yes, I am a loser) Main hoon ge duniya k sab saybari bewakoof larki. Pata hai kyun? Kyunke..

( I might be the stupidest person on this planet. Do you know why? Because....)

I trusted you. I considered you a friend even though you have been nice to me only 4 times. You broke my heart. And my self-esteem- whatever that was left. Now every time, I am going to meet anyone I am going to think, "yeh mere baray main kya soch rahain hain.(What do they think of me?) Because of you!"

"I trusted you Irtaza", she sobbed as she looked at him.

"You were right! I trust everybody! I am naïve and stupid and what not!" She continued as the tears continued to flow down her cheeks.

"What did I do to you to deserve this?" She whispered as she looked at him.

"Why do you hate me so much? I have always tried to be nice with you. And I thought we were making progress. That maybe you didn't hate me."

"Why did you do it? You made me a joke in front of everyone! Every single person!" She accused him.

"Zoya calm down it's all right. I didn't."

"Alright? You think it's all right that everybody knows what I think? My stupid thoughts? They are going to look at me and think what a loser I am. You think that's alright? How could you?"

" I didn't ...."

"Go ahead! DENY that. Tell me I am liar. Tell me I am over-reacting!"

" Stop acting like a ...."

"Yes say it. If you can write it, you can say it on my face too!"

"I wrote that before I got to know the real you. "

" If being kind is being a loser than yes, I am a loser. But you know what?"

"I pity you and the woman you are going to marry. Life isn't predictable Irtaza Haider Awan. It never is, it never will be. It doesn't take orders from you. I don't run around after cash! I don't ignore my family because, I need to be loaded. If there is any loser, it is you. You have wasted some good years of life. Because you are afraid of unpredictability. The only friend you got is Hashim and the credit for that friendship goes to him not you. Your mother looks you as if this is all she is going to get. Which might be true considering you are never going to call her when you leave for London! Yeah, being financial stable is important, but life isn't just about it. I hate that I met you! I hate myself for seeing the good in you! You are an absolute jerk!"

"You can't leave! If we are having an eye opening session, then you need to hear this too!" He snarled.

"You are a loser, not because everyone thinks you are a loser. But because you consider yourself to be one. You pity yourself, you hate yourself. Hell, if someone says something bad about you, instead of manning up and taking a stand for yourself you believe it! You think you are grateful. But you are the most thankless person..."

"Hato yahan say(Get away from here) !! I am not thankless. I just want alot from life. But you don't! Haina? You are confused and you have issues! Not admitting, not facing them doesn't make you superior or invulnerable! UNLIKE you, I don't run away from my problems."

That was a lie. But she didn't care.

"You are crossing your limits!" He spoke.

Was she?

"Oh, limits? Were there any limits? Because I am just coming from a room full of people who were laughing at me, because of YOU!" She said as she pushed him out of the way. She had enough of him.

"I hate you and myself for liking you. For thinking there was more to your black soul then that meet the eyes." She said as she wiped her tears that escaped, leaving him standing there as she left the hall.

Irtaza watched her leave. He stared at her back as she left. Sanity was begging him to stop her, but he didn't. And that hurt Zoya more than she expected it too. During all that fiasco, what she wanted was a "I am sorry". But he had all the words to tell her, not that.

As she walked away from him, she wished for him to call her. To tell her that he was sorry. That he loved her? But he didn't. And so, she walked away from him, hoping to never ever see his handsome face!