《2/3》second guessing doesn't always work
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I got to the bridge and changed my mind last minute. Not about dying but about jumping. So I got on a bus to somewhere I never thought I would see in person again. My old house...It looked horrible exactly how it did before. I opened the unlocked door grabbed a knife from the kitchen and walked to the bathroom
It’s okay
It’s okay
It’s okay
I was shaking when I grabbed the pills from the cabinet. It’s messed up to think these people have me second guessing my choice to die. But everytime I second guess I think about the scene that happened in the bathroom.
Everything happens for a reason is what people always say. So you're telling me I got abused and raped twice for a reason? Your telling me I developed anxiety, depression, ptsd, and haphephobia for a reason? You're telling me I want to die for a reason?
You're telling me I need them for a reason…
Bullshit
I finally put the pills in my mouth...after a while everything became blurry and I was seeing double. I reached for the knife a few times before actually grabbing it.
I sliced my arm for every bad thing that came to my head
Baggage
Helpless
Unworthy
Weak
problematic
Useless
Depressed
Selfish
I dropped the knife when I heard the front door open and multiple rushed footsteps.
But it was too late…
Rehan’s POV
Earlier--
“Where’s somewhere he would go??”
Karl was pacing around. Adalene was holding a crying Adrena with tears of her own falling down her face. Me and Ariel push breakdowns aside to figure out where the hell he could go…
Karl stopped mid pace and looked at us with wide eyes
“His dad’s house…”
Adalene and Adrena stayed at the house while Karl and Ariel rushed to the car. Ariel was speeding down streets passing red lights and stop signs. Then we got stopped by the cops…
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“NO NO NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY SON IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE! WE NEED TO GO AND YOU NEED TO FOLLOW US” she looked like she was about to go crazy at the end of her sentence…
“Be helpful and call the ambulance while your at it” than she sped off
I would have laughed if this moment wasnt crucial to all of our lives…
Time skip… present
We got to the house and busted through the front door. Ariel seemed to know what she was looking for because she ran straight to a certain area and opened the door. When she dropped to her knees me and Karl went to her…
The sight would make you want to curl into a ball and sob till every liquid in your body is gone..
Lake...lying in the middle of the bathroom floor, unmoving, foam bubbling from his mouth, surrounded by blood. Karl seemed to be the only one thinking in this situation when he ran towards lake and checked his pulse
He turned lake on his side and shook him while stroking his hair out of his face
“Hey baby...I’m here”
“Don’t go to sleep on me okay?”
“You have to stay awake for me”
“Don’t close your eyes beautiful..”
I was amazed when Lake fluttered open his eyes...he struggled but managed to keep them open while the paramedics came into the bathroom with a stretcher. Only Ariel could enter the back of the truck with him, but we didn’t waste a second to drive to the hospital right behind them…
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