《2/3》I'm gonna be 6 feet under
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After he calmed me down I got up and walked out the bathroom with them calling after me with pleading voices. I didn’t even glance at them as I walked to my next class. The whole thing was to much and I will not forget that not only was it their choice to leave...they fell in love...and left the baggage...so they could be together
To think everything was fake. Every hug, laugh, smile. They are no longer my ex best friends who I still love and hate. They are now people who I have memories with. Memories that I will lock away. Memories that meant nothing to them but everything to me.
Memories that kept me living. Memories that made me keep up with my dad’s bullshit. It’s okay though...because soon
Time skip/////
During lunch I could feel their eyes on me. The 45 minutes were them staring at me. I hope they get hit by a fucking bus. No, the way I'm acting you may think I was in love with them. I really wasn't, we were just best friends. That’s why it hurts so much. I was just baggage that needed to be taken care of to them.
I waited 15 minutes while everyone was getting up to leave the cafeteria before I got up and left. Sadly Rehan and Karl decided they needed to wait also.
“Lake”
....I kept walking
“Lake come on”
Still walking
“Please”
I turned around and walked straight up to both of them close enough to be in their personal space but far enough to not touch them.
“Why.can’t.you.just.leave.me.the.fuck.alone” I hissed
They both looked hurt before answering
“Can’t you tell?” Rehan
“No why else would I ask”
“We love you”
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“Yeah I fucking loved you guys to but guess who ruined that”
“No no no” Karl stepped in
“We love you”
I kept opening and closing my mouth not knowing what to say...so I said the first thing that I could think of before stomping away…
Not the best thing to say to someone who just confessed their love to you. They just have no right….
///////
I got home pissed off...adrena jumped into my arms when I walked through the door calming me down slightly but not enough. The people who pissed me off are the same ones I need to calm me down. I mean how why
NOTHING makes sense and it’s stressing me the fuck out. Do I even have feelings for them? Do they even have feelings for me or is it an act to get me to forgive them
It’s an act
Great a panic attack
I’m not worth enough
I sat Adrena down and walked to my room with my mom calling after me
They don’t love me
I sat on my bed and started counting my fingers to soothe the unwanted panic attack
They left for a reason lake
Your baggage
Your unlovable
Annoying
They were never your best friends
They were just using you
Your dad was probably fucking them
I let out a heartbreaking scream that broke me more than I already was. Any more breaking and I’m done for.
I was wheezing, coughing , crying, screaming. I heard my door open and rushed footsteps. A pair of arms wrapped around me and the familiar smell of flowers...my mom.
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