As soon as I closed the door behind me everything fell apart. That panic attack I was so badly pushing away earlier came rising to the top at full speed. I sat down in the corner of the room and counted back from 50

50

49

48

47

46

45

Why me

44

43

42

41

40

I want love

39

38

37

36

35

Why did he touch me

34

33

32

31

30

I want to die

29

28

27

26

25

Why am I still alive

24

23

22

21

20

I want to scream

19

18

17

16

15

14

13

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

I exhaled and put my head between my knees relaxing myself. That wasn't a bad one at all...but that just means I'm gonna have one hell of a nightmare tonight.

Flashback/memory

I got detention at school today for talking back to the teacher. I woke up on the wrong side of the floor today because I was annoyed as soon as I opened my eyes. I laid my head down on the desk and not even a minute later the teacher tapped on my sleeved elbow with her pen.

I ignored her and kept my head down...

"Mr.rivins"

...i looked up and the whole class was looking at me including the teacher, but that isn't knew. No one talks to me, no one bullies me, they all think I'm some badass that doesn't follow the rules and gets into fights everyday. If that's the case those fights are extremely one sided because I am getting my ass bet by my high ass father.

And I guess talking back to teachers and being late because your father dragged you down the stairs makes you bad. I don't mind it though I don't need the fake highschool friends who talk about you behind your back as soon as you're out of earshot.

The only thing on my mind all day is fucking dying. So when this teacher picked on me out of the 4 kids with their head's down I snapped and called her a 'fat bimbo bitch'

The class laughed and she yelled detention. I put my head back down and went to sleep.

It didn't register in my head that I would be late to go home until the end of the day, so when I finally realized I started freaking out the beating was going to be horrible.

Time skip////

I was already late so there was no point in speeding. I walked into the house and it was quiet..to quiet so I stayed by the door.

Barely 5 seconds later I saw something flying towards my face from the corner of my eye. I ducked out of the way and a beer bottle crashed against the door. I was shocked...that could have blinded me.

"Why the FUCK are you so late Lake"

"I-I-I-I..."

He walked towards me and harshly gripped my hair and yanked me up the stairs

"I HAD DETENTION I'M S-SORRY"

"Yeah your gonna be sorry"

He threw me on the floor of my bedroom and stomped on my stomach, making me cough up blood. I couldn't see anything but his leg repeatedly kicking me through my tears. I started pleading begging even though I know it never works

"P-please...please d-dad stop.... It h-hurts"

He ignored my cries and started choking me instantly, cutting off my air flow. I didn't fight him...I let him. When he realized I didn't fight him and was going to let him choke me to my last breath he instantly let go, and walked out the room.

Flashback/memory/nightmare over

I didn't wake up screaming which I'm happy for. I'd rather not wake up the whole house on my first night here, but I am drenched in sweat and shaking. I grabbed my pair of grey sweats and faded torn black T before shakily walking to the bathroom.

I honestly wanted to collapse but that would mean another nightmare. Guess I'm staying up tonight..