Tris has been gone for almost a year now. The initiates are coming tomorrow and she won't be here. I won't get to demo knife throwing at her head. I won't get to explain our names. I won't get to hold her hand. She gone. I need to accept it. I walk to breakfast with my head down. No one is at the table yet. I sit and wait for them all. They all have moved on pretty well. Today,they all seem glum. They walk with their heads down,like me. Christina places a muffin in front of me,but I push it away.

We all stare at our food and don't look up. This was the day I met Tris. Now I'll never see her again. I'll have to train them myself. A single tear drips from my eye. The table catches it in a crevice. " I think it's all clear that we miss her." Uriah says and looks up. Zeke and Christina look up too. They nod. "Four? You okay?" He asks. "What do you think?" I say sarcastically. "I don't think your okay. Do you want me to train the initiates?" Asks Christina. I shake my head. Tris wouldn't want me to pawn my work off on someone else. "Bye" I says I get up to leave. "Where are you going?" Asks Zeke. "Where do you think?" I say. I don't know what's up with my sarcasm.

I speed walk out to where we buried her. I kneel to the ground and cry. My tears hit the grass and seep into the ground. The world moves on. To the rest of the world,today is a good day. Life moves on and so should we. I hear footsteps behind me. I don't even have to turn around to know that it them. They sit next to me and we all let our tears out. Christina starts to cry and Uriah holds her.

She buries her head in his chest. Tris used to do that to me too. Zeke sits on the other side of me and she's a few tears. I start to sob hysterically. He pats my back and looks at me. "It's okay Four." He says. I miss being called Tobias. I miss her voice. The way she giggled when she called me Four.

I smile to myself. "I remember when she first picked Dauntless. I never thought she'd make it. Turns out she was better than me." Christina says and laughs through her sobs. "I remember when we took her zip lining" Uriah and Zeke say at the same time. I look at the ground. It hurts too much to try to remember her. She was the only one who cared. "She sacrificed herself to save me." I say. "Which time?" Uriah says and we laugh. I shake my head. We both look up and our eyes meet. I say a silent thank you and he nods back. It's like our silent language.

"We should probably head back. The initiates get here after lunch." Zeke says and we all nod. "By Tris" I say.