When Tobias first kissed me, I was shocked. I did nothing but stand there while he kissed me. Then came phase two of the kiss where the high school me kicked in and kissed back. Then the final phase of me came; the phase that has been mad at him for almost three years.

I pull back and can instantly tell I've heart his feelings. We both open our mouths to speak but nothing comes out. I look around quickly and shake my head. I run to the women's restroom and lock myself in the back stall.

I lean back against the wall that blocks me from the rest of the world and I begin breathing heavily. It feels like a dog's panting after they've been outside on a warm summer's day for several hours.

Once I've calmed my self down, I pull out my phone and dial Christina's number. The phone rings several times before she picks up.

"Hey, Tris!" she says as soon as she picks up.

"Hey, um, I need to tell you about something," I say in a whisper even though no one is in the bathroom. She giggles into the line.

"Is it that you're having the time of your life and are never going to come home?" she asks in a fanciful voice. I roll my eyes.

"Nope. I'm silently pleading to go home," I reply. Christina does one of those snort laugh things and I can practically see her rolling her eyes.

"As if, I know you and Four are having a great time!" she replies. I sigh and give a useless shake of my head.

"I was having fun but then. . . But then he kissed me!" I say, mumbling the last part in hopes she won't understand me. All of that hope goes away, though, when she squeals so loud I have to pull the phone away from my ear.

"Uriah! They kissed!" she finally says. I hear Uriah mumble something to which Christina responds, "I'm positive. Tris just told me that." Uriah yells a long yes and then I hear something crash.

"Christina! What was that?" I ask. I am faced with a long silence to which I immediately begin panicking. Of course these are the people I left my child with. I mean, who better than my friends who just seconds ago got so excited over a single kiss I believe they may have broke something.

"It's all good! Uriah just kind of tried one of the high school musical type jumps and unfortunately landed on the coffee table," she replies. I shake my head and rub my temple.

"Of course he did," I mumble so low under my breath that it should be practically impossible for her to hear. "Um, where is Lucas?" I ask.

"He is watching a movie in the other room," she replies. I give a sigh of relief and feel a little weight on my chest disappear.

"Is someone watching him?" I question. Even though I know he is fine, I can't help but worry.

"Yeah. Zeke and Will are in there with him. They're really getting into the movie," she says. I laugh and shake my head.

"What movie are they watching?" I ask. Christina giggles before she answers.

"High School musical," she replies between giggles. I laugh as well.

When we finally calm down, I say, "I guess I better go. Watch looks us for me."

"You know he'll be fine. It's more the guys I need to worry about," she responds. I laugh and shake my head.

"True. Bye," I say. She gives me one in return and then we hang up. I sit in the stall for a few more minutes and then the door busts open. The sound of giggles echoes through the bathroom and, in fright of seeing something I'll regret, I push the stall door open. As I walk past the sinks, I realize I made it out just in time to avoid seeing some reproduction happening.

When I walk, I walk back over to the table where Tobias is tapping on his phone. He looks up at me as I pull out my chair. He doesn't say anything; he just stares at me. And I do the same. After a few songs have played, Tobias looks down at his watch and then looks back up at me.

"Um, it's getting kind of late. Do you want to go?" he asks. I smile and nod. I pick up my bag and we walk out and to the car in silence. We both get into Tobias's black car and wordlessly drive back to my house, the only sounds in the car the hushed voices coming from the radio and the occasional honk of a car.

"Thank you," I whisper once we pull up outside my house. He nods and seems to be thinking over what to say next.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers. I shake my head.

"There's no reason to be sorry," I reply. He looks out the driver side window.

"There is reason, Tris. I shouldn't have kissed you. That was really inappropriate," he says. I reposition my body so it is facing him and I put my arm on his shoulder.

"It was fine. All it was was a kiss. Don't beat yourself up over it," I whisper. He shoots around and shakes his head.

"But that's the thing, Tris. It was more than a kiss," he whispers. A strong passion burns in his eyes and I know that it wasn't just a kiss. He felt more to it.

And so did I.

"Maybe to you, but to me, it was just a simple kiss," I say, trying to push down the emotions inside me.

"Tris, you and I both know that you felt something. You kissed back," he argues. I shake my head and wrap my hands around the door handle.

"No I didn't," I mumble more to assure myself than Tobias. I push open the door and walk up to my house. As I dig around for my keys in my bag, I hear Tobias get out of the car and walk up to the house.

"Tris, you can't deny that you didn't feel anything," he says as I finally wrap my hands around the door handle. I stick the key in the door knob and turn back to face him.

"I can deny that, Four, because I'm the only one who knows how I really feel," I spit at him. I turn the door knob and walk into my house, leaving Tobias outside in the loneliness of the night.

I throw my bag down and lean back against the door. Tobias was right; it certainly was more than a kiss. I felt passion in the kiss. It was something I've missed all these years. But yet, I still can't let myself admit it. I must keep my walls up in order to protect myself, to protect Lucas.

I must keep my walls up in order to keep myself from getting hurt again.