I awoke in the training room. Tris' fight was next and my head was on fire. Christina sat next to me and gave me an ice pack. "He didn't do anything and Tris Al Will and I tried to help but with Four not being there, there was nothing we could do," Christina said.

I took the ice pack from her hand and put it against my forehead. I could feel the blood seeping out of my wound. Eric hadn't called foul play, surely he had seen what Zane did but no one else could. I'd keep to myself that Zane knew what he did most likely telling his friends all about it. It was my one weakness besides being the stubborn girl I was.

If my back kept bleeding I could bleed out but it wasn't worth letting everyone know about my scars. I had fought Zane on numerous occasions which just made him want to beat me more so I'm assuming he found out about the rumors and let one of his minions find out if it was true. Then he used it against me, the little bastard. I sat uptight against the wall watching Tris get beat to a pulp by Peter. She could win but she doubted herself and it cost her her fight.

“You okay there, Stiff?” he says. “You look like you’re about to cry. I might go easy on you if you

cry.” Peter yelled to Tris. I scoffed if it wasn't for my brother standing in the door I would've stopped the fight and punched Peter for the fun of it. “Come on, Stiff,” he says just like Zane said to me the first time we fought. “Just one little tear. Maybe some begging.” Peter had crossed the line and I was about to go after him. Christina grabbed my hand pulling me back from my now standing state. "Christina let go!" I demanded. I wasn't going to punch or kick her, I would let her pick her option first. Tris tries to kick Peter's side but Peter catches her foot and pulls it forward making her fall. She gets to her feet quickly though.

“Stop playing with her,” Eric says. “I don’t have all day.” I scowl. Peter punches her jaw hard enough to knock her vision out making her sway like the sea. He kicks her in the stomach and she falls. Trying to quickly jump up she's unable to as he grabs her hair and punches her in the nose. She looks horrible and Christina isn't budging so I just turn my head. Away from my friend, away from an enemy, away from everyone as I quietly stare at a corner of the room. I wasn't going to be able to help her or to shove my misery away.

I hear noises Peters laugh the smacking of Triß' hand as she tries to prove herself but I don't look yet. “Enough!” Eric yells and Christina finally let's go of me. I look back to Tris. She looks so frail and sick while Peter is standing there all bright eyed with his big ego. Tris sits next to us, her eyes already black and swollen. “Is her eye already black?” someone asks. Tris opens one of her eyes but isn't able to open the other. I handed her my Ice pack that Christina gave me. As soon as I sit down I cat help but feel the world is spinning. Faster and faster colors mixing together until I can no longer breathe. I take it as my duty to make sure someone knows I'm not ok before I pass out. I let out a god awful scream as I can feel the pain I numbed creeping in. Tris is the first to notice. I don't pass out though I just lay there as my breathing gets heavy and my eyes duller. She sees the blood seeping through my clothes and lifts my shirt seeing the damage which I'd yet to. The damage caused by my father and Zane. I don't even notice I'm no longer sitting on the floor but rather I'm laying on my stomach on the cold stone floor. "Oh my god" Christina says, gasping. "Are...are the rumors true?" Will asks but I'm halfway dead by the time he realizes I can barely speak. "Dammit '' I hear someone curse. People gather around my cold body. I'm not going to pass out. Not now, not ever again. "Move" I managed to breathe out. Trying to stand trying to move is harder than I thought it'd be but I manage pushing past the crowd of initiates to the only person who knows how to help me. To the only person I wanted sanctuary from. I walk run and limp my way over to Four who is already walking my way. People stare and people mock but I don't care. I'm not going to make it, I'm going to pass out right here. I let the stone grey walls fall around me. I'm losing my balance and I'm falling letting into my tiredness. Death feels different. It feels colder, darker , more lonely. That's what my brother told me at the age of 11 to get me away from harming myself. I tried listening to him but even his words of wisdom didn't help my past self. Heavy heavy heavy. Heavy was how I felt. My eyes and my limbs are heavy. I don't even realize I'm awake. I don't take notice of my conscious state watching people swarm around my body in the training room. Tris waves her hands in front of my face to get a reaction out of me. But I don't respond. Christina calling my name sounds blurry if that's possible. It sounds like static saying my name, calling it longingly. Four doing chest compressions on my cold pale body. I'm dead, I have to be. No not yet not now not for me but for Four or Tris for my friends and my rank and to not give the pleasure of killing me to Zane. I let out a gasp. A gasp for air as if I had been denying myself it for ages. "Come on Charlotte, breathe!" Four yelled at me. I took another painful whiff of air. Everything was more lively now. People moving faster, a nurse rushing into the training room. My main duty to the ones I love is to breathe. In and out Charlotte. BREATHE. I tried looking to find Tris who had moved out of my line of vision but my head was too heavy. Four had stopped compressions and for the first time in forever I saw a tear escape his eye. He mouthed 'thank you' to me and let the nurse take care of me. Every blink of my eyes was hard. Harder than living. I felt a sharp sting in my neck and I cried out in pain or in worry for what it was. My thoughts that consumed me had slowed and my worries died down. Slowly I couldn't feel anything. No pain. No guilt. Nothing. My senses were failing me. Touch taste smell hearing and vision. They were all very blurry. The walls blurred together. Even my tear stained cheeks I couldn't feel. All I wanted to do was be held in my brother's crazy buff arms. But I needed other things like actual rest. I let my eyes lightly close.