As I stretched, a delicious soreness in my body reminded me of last night. Rolling over with a sound of satisfaction, I hoped to cuddle up to Maddox's sculpted body for another hour of sleep. Instead, all I found was empty sheets. Sitting up, I gazed at the indent showing someone had slept on the other side of the bed in confusion.

"Maddox?" I called out, but only silence greeted me.

A shiver coursed through my body, setting goosebumps all over my skin. Remembering I was still naked, I debated going to put on the underwear from last night, but decided against it. The skimpy fabric wouldn't do much.

A pang of longing for my lover beat in my heart. So, I decided to instead search his closet for something of his to wear instead of the clingy clothes from last night.

I slipped a white button down off its hanger. Briefly inhaling Maddox's familiar and erotic scent, I buttoned it up on my body. I was just small enough that the shirt reached to my lower thigh. Covering all the necessary bits.

Seeing that Maddox wasn't anywhere in his quarters, I quickly slipped down the hallway into my room. It wouldn't do to scandalize some poor maid with my walk of shame.

I chuckled at the thought. I felt anything but shame about last night.

Once in my room, I almost felt like an interloper. I had slept in that bed just the other night, but now I had shared a bed with Maddox properly, I never wanted to sleep alone again.

I groaned in the empty room. "You're hooked, Austin."

And it was true. Maddox was a drug, one I never wanted to give up.

I grabbed a pair of sweatpants thrown haphazardly around my room. I had shimmied the fleece lined sweats on, before picking up a plain navy t-shirt. I stood with the shirt clutched in my fist before throwing it back to the floor.

I couldn't bring myself to part with Maddox's shirt. Taking a cursory sniff, I shut my door behind me on my way to his office.

I knocked on the paneled door. Receiving no answer, I pushed the door open a smidge, before peeking around into the barren room. I stepped into the room.

"Where the hell did you run off to, Maddox?!" I stomped my foot in a petty show of frustration.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I padded towards the window. Watching the light snowfall usually calmed him down.

I felt a smile creep onto my face as my eyes also discovered Maddox sitting on a familiar bench in the garden. However, the smile soon vanished as I saw the stooped shoulders. Maddox's fists were clenched tightly.

My eyes soon drifted onto the familiar glove. My eyebrows furrowed as I realized I had never seen Maddox without that glove. Not even during sex.

I felt closer to Maddox than ever before. And with that closeness, brought a level of courage. Setting my shoulders, I gazed at the sorrow and distress so obvious in Maddox's posture, before setting back towards my room at a run.

Shrugging my winter coat on, I set off for the garden.

..............

Snow covered the ground and shrubbery surrounding me. A few flakes landed on my lashes, and I blinked them away. I bundled my wool overcoat closer around myself, and buried my nose briefly beneath my multi-coloured scarf.

Footsteps crunched in the day old snow. I didn't bother to raise my head, I could already tell it was Austin. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he sat down beside me on the bench.

Austin rubbed his bare hands between his thighs for warmth, and almost unconsciously shifted closer to my body until our entire sides were pressed together.

An overwhelming feeling of pain welled within me as tears pricked my eyes. I had never felt so safe as I did next to this man. My man. And the trust and care Austin had shown me last night when he seamlessly drifted to sleep in my embrace was a foreign, but addicting, feeling.

I had been able to keep the dreams at bay until the early hours of the morning. I hadn't wanted to disturb the peaceful look on Austin's face with my demons, so I'd sought refuge in the garden.

I'd never really known what love was. I didn't know how to woo and express emotion to another person, let alone a man I craved with every fiber of my being. But Austin had broken down every wall I'd built in defense against my father's abuse. The broken, scarred man I was could almost believe that I was worthy of being loved when I witnessed Austin's trust in me.

I felt Austin's eyes on me, and suddenly, being strong didn't matter anymore. I pounced forward to wrap my arms around Austin. I pulled him as close as I could, trying to almost crawl into his jacket with him. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breathing out a sigh mixed with a sob.

The nightmare that night had been a familiar and heart rending one. My hand still throbbed with the phantom pain.