How exactly was he supposed to express this newfound revelation? Not just to Thomas, but to anyone else? He had fought with his thoughts for the entire night, having been confirming and reaffirming if he was indeed sure of his sexual identity. Each thought and possibility lead to him being correct, which made him not just incredibly happy, but nervous at the same time.

I can save it for later tonight when we all meetup. I'll tell Thomas and Nicolette first, then my family...

Alan quietly kept his news to himself while he had breakfast with his family the following morning, trying to hide the anxiety as best as he could before he headed to catch the bus to school, his phone buzzing as he walked to the pick-up stop.

Alan read the message, somewhat excited about the prospect of telling his good friends of his discovery.

Alan had completely forgotten that Thomas was trying out for rugby and the coach was favoring him for it. He was still somewhat skeptical about the whole ordeal, wondering why Thomas had a sudden interest in the sport to begin with. Once his bus arrived, he climbed the stairs and headed towards the middle section of the bus, taking a seat to quietly stare out the window in thought.

Rugby doesn't... even suit someone like Thomas.

He was perturbed by the whole situation, trying to recall why Thomas was even bothering to try out. He briefly recalled a conversation they had together after volleyball practice as they waited for one of his older brothers to pick them up.

"I figured it would be something different... besides, you know what our teachers keep saying: If you want to get into a good college, it's best to have a well-rounded application with not just academic marks, but extracurriculars." Thomas explained as they waited on the stairs of the school's main entrance.

"But... rugby? It's a pretty rough sport. It's like football... but not football." Alan stated with an uncomfortable frown.

"True... but I see no reason not to give it a shot. If I don't like it, I'll drop it." Thomas answered with a smile and small shrug.

"Where'd this idea even come from?" Alan asked, curious.

"Jonathan suggested it to me." Thomas replied, leaning back onto his forearms as they rested on the steps behind him. "He said that I actually have the build for it."

"Jonathan suggested it?" Alan asked, somewhat surprised. "That's... interesting..." he spoke not too long after, unsure of how to respond.

"How so?" Thomas asked, confused.

"Nothing... just a little surprised..." Alan replied with a shrug of his own, puzzled by the sudden suggestion of it all.

After recalling that small moment in time, Alan began to quietly figure out just why Thomas was suddenly starting to change. His entire attitude, behavior, actions and activities were all going in the direction of one person: Jonathan. What he was trying to figure out was why his teammate was pulling Thomas in another direction, or more so, away from him.

Does... Jonathan not like me... around Thomas? But... why?

Alan pondered this for the entirety of the bus ride, uncertain of just what Jonathan's motivations with Thomas could be. But it was bothering him, to the point where he felt that he may just need to talk with Thomas about it personally.

-

Sitting on a bench in the empty locker room, Alan found himself fidgeting with his hands, not sure as to why he was nervous. In a way it felt somewhat strange to be speaking to Thomas alone, especially considering all that happened the night before. He was still trying to sort his feelings out regarding the kiss, as well as how he felt towards his best friend. Granted, he was quite sure of his feelings, but he wasn't sure how to express them to Thomas. He was still contemplated on the idea of even telling him.

But the first thing at hand was to ask Thomas if he had any idea why Jonathan was so aggressive towards him. It was obvious how badly Jonathan was treating Alan, yesterday being a rather strong indicator. Surely his best friend knew something that he didn't.

Suddenly, he heard the door open to the locker room and he looked up towards to see Thomas walking through the doors, a smile on his face once he caught sight of him.

"Hey, Allie! Sorry for the delay... I had to get away from the lunch table first." Thomas stated happily, walking over towards him as he did so.

"It's fine..." Alan reassured him with a smile of his own, a hint of bashfulness growing within him. "Thanks for coming..."

"Anytime! What's up?" Thomas asked, sitting down beside him calmly, curiosity on his face.

Any other time, words would come easy for Alan, not hesitating to tell or talk with Thomas about anything that was on his mind. There were occasional delays of conversation, much like yesterday, but Thomas was able to find a way to get the words out eventually. But this time was different, considering that the conversation at hand would be about Thomas. Alan looked over to his friend carefully, seeing his facial expression change to confusion. A sigh escaped past his lips as he turned his body towards Thomas fully.

"So... I want to ask you something..." Alan stated slowly; his gaze averted towards the floor.

"OK... ask me what?" Thomas spoke back, the confusion growing on his face more.

"Can you... tell me exactly why Jonathan... doesn't like me?" Alan asked, his gaze back on his friend.

Thomas frowned, more so in surprise and then puzzlement. "Why do you think he doesn't like you?" he asked, trying to process everything.

Alan shuffled slightly in his seat, taking a deep breath. "Besides what happened yesterday in the locker room..." he spoke, trying to not recall the incident. "It seems like... he doesn't like me around you. He teases me a lot, even if you think it's in a friendly manner... there is some... resentment in his actions... and I don't get it. I mean, you're thinking of joining rugby because he suggested that you should. You've never expressed interest in rugby until he told you to."

Thomas listened to Alan carefully, watching his movements intently as he did so. He sat there in silence, wanting him to continue.

"I just think... that he's trying to keep me away from you for some reason..." Alan admitted, a mixture of emotions on his face. He was nervous, but confident with his certainty. He rubbed his hands together in an anxious manner, not sure how Thomas would react. He looked up towards him to see if he could read his expression.

Thomas was calm, but somewhat pensive. It was obvious that he was trying to process Alan's words; to piece together the puzzle that Alan was also trying to solve. "Why... do you think he wants to keep you away from me?" he asked, curious to know his answer.

Alan opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it quickly after. That's... why I'm asking you... He had no idea why Jonathan was acting this way and it made no sense. Was there something that he did that would have caused Jonathan to be so hostile towards him? He scratched his head as he quietly thought to himself, recalling all of his interactions with Jonathan that he could, trying to pinpoint any that would've caused him to show such aggression and hatred.

Hatred...

It was then that Alan had found the missing piece to the puzzle, his eyes lighting up once the thought was solid in his mind.

"It's... because he knows..." Alan stated, more as a confirmation to himself.

"Knows... what?" Thomas asked, completely lost.

Alan looked over to Thomas carefully, his body still as he spoke. "I'm... gay."

Thomas stared back at Alan in silence, blinking at least once as he captured that simple statement in his mind. "You're... gay."

Alan slowly shook his head to confirm that, his expression growing even more uncomfortable with Thomas's reaction.

"You think... Jonathan knows... that you're gay?" Thomas asked, his eyebrows knitted together in the middle.

Once again, Alan nodded to confirm Thomas's question.

"How Allie? That doesn't... make any sense." Thomas asked, rather bewildered by everything.

The next thing he knew was proof of how Jonathan was aware of him being gay, even before he or even his best friends were aware of it, had been confirmed last night and there was no way he could deny it any longer. It was strongly evident in the way they interacted, the way Thomas teased him on a consistent basis, the way they talked about things that most people would find very odd to share with another guy openly. And the kiss last night just made it even more obvious to Alan that there was absolutely no way he could even lie about it. He stared back at Thomas calmly, his expression relaxed and confident.

"Because... Jonathan can see it." Alan stated, somewhat firmly.

"See what, Allie?" Thomas asked, uncertain of what he meant.

"That... I love you."

The feeling of relief when the words finally came out his mouth was the best feeling in the world, the built-up tension and uncertainty from before leaving his body completely, and he couldn't help but breathe a soft sigh of reprieve after doing so. However, the feeling of doubt was slowly starting to creep back in as he saw Thomas's face.

Thomas, who didn't move from the spot he was sitting in, stared back at Alan with a rather blank expression, his mouth shut entirely.

"Thomas...?" Alan stated carefully, a look of discomfort appearing on his face.

"I... heard you, Alan." Thomas spoke carefully, his gaze averting elsewhere entirely. "I'm just... processing..."

"Processing?" Alan repeated, confused and somewhat unsteady.

"Why... you would say that?" Thomas spoke back, his gaze back on Alan once again, but with pensive eyes.

Alan's shoulders tensed at the sight, feeling incredibly nervous. "Because... I do..."

"How... do you know that?" Thomas questioned, his expression the same.

"I mean... I'm the most comfortable around you... even when you tease me... and I can talk to you about anything... and what happened yesterday..." Alan couldn't even finish the sentence without his face heating up at the thought.

"Stop." Thomas spoke sternly.

Alan looked over to him, his chest tightening at the sound.

Thomas looked at Alan with a rather cold expression. "I'm not gay, Alan." He stated, his voice firm and flat.

Alan stared back at Thomas in silence, that tightness in his chest growing the more time passed. "But...." He tried to speak, his eyes searching across Thomas's face for any sign of a lie, a joke or a tease. But, it wasn't there. "Why did you... yesterday..."

"It meant nothing. I'm not gay." Thomas repeated once again, in the same fashion.

He felt that he could die right there on that bench, the urge to cry catching in his throat as he pressed his lips together, the words echoing in his ears.

"Oh, this is pure gold." A voice stated behind him, causing Alan to jump in surprise and turn around.

"I can always spot a fag when I see one." Jonathan stated with a smirk, leaning against a nearby locker with his arms crossed over his chest. "And it seems like I did."