Jennie has never held on to anything – to anyone – as desperate as she is holding on to Lisa right now.

To Lisa whose face is still mere inches away from hers, because she admits, ironically, that a wide distance may suffocate her.

Not when she's finally confessed.

Not when she's finally said all the bottled-up feelings and frustrations out.

Not when she's finally realized that she's in love,

"I'm in love with you."

The words escape Jennie's lips faster than it crossed her mind, too quick that she isn't able to comprehend what she just stupidly said,

Jennie says, the words would have come off shaky, but she tries her best for it to sound like she means it.

Because she does.

So she repeats, more firmly now,

"Lisa, I'm in love with you."

And Jennie searches Lisa's face for at least something. A reaction, an expression. Anything that tells her that Lisa acknowledges what she just foolishly said.

But Jennie regrets it just as fast because then she sees Lisa's eyes show confusion, and shock, and sadness all in one go, and Jennie really does regret it,

Because Lisa is just as quick to say, almost in a soft whisper,

"No, you aren't."

Jennie sees Lisa shake her head as to defy what Jennie just said, and Jennie can't help but feel the familiar pain by her chest when she sees Lisa looking so sorry at her,

"Lisa, I am!" Jennie shuts her eyes tight – because she can't bear to look at Lisa staring at her like that – just as tight her hands clutch on Lisa's shirt as to plead, beg that Lisa believe her words, that Lisa believe her, "I am, I am, I am."

Every word coming off stronger than the last one just so to make Lisa believe.

Jennie breathes out, though it came as a whimper – because she's crying again as she tries to make Lisa at least know,

To make Lisa at least understand, to at least realize Jennie's feelings for her,

Jennie opens her eyes before finally confessing once more, sounding more and more desperate and hopeful both at the same time,

"Lisa, I love you."

And Jennie wishes – hard – that Lisa finally acknowledges what she's trying to say, but what she gets is more pain when Lisa only merely shakes her head in regret once more,

"Jennie, no," Lisa takes Jennie's hands only to take it off her shirt, "You don't love me."

"You don't love me, okay?" Lisa says, tears forming once more as she speaks – bringing more tears on Jennie's eyes as well, "You're confused. You don't know what you're saying, you don't know what you're feeling. But what you feel for me is not love, Jennie. Okay?"

"Lisa, please–"

"I don't want to be the rebound!" Lisa shrieks, with more tears falling down on her face as Jennie tries not to cry just as hard, "I don't want to be that one person you run to just because you don't have anyone to turn to anymore!"

Jennie can only stand there, frozen to place, as she listens to Lisa vent out more of herself,

"I have feelings, too, Jennie!"

It pierces Jennie's heart because Lisa thinks like that, because Jennie knows that she's the one who made Lisa think like that.

And it cuts through Jennie most because she knows she's losing Lisa – for good.

Because Lisa says,

"Jennie," Jennie hears Lisa deeply sigh, and she sees Lisa look down – as to contemplate on what to say, making Jennie wonder how grave Lisa's words would be because of the silence that follow,

And Jennie knows how severe Lisa's next words are, because Lisa just has to say – just has to heartlessly say,

"Let's end whatever this is between us."

Her heart clenches, Jennie knows because she felt it. It clenches so hard that she has to hold her chest to keep her heart in place.

"Lisa," Is the only one that comes off Jennie's mouth,

Because Lisa shakes her head again before walking pass Jennie to finish packing her things,

It takes a moment for Jennie to understand what's going on, because it happened all too fast and all too sudden. And she only starts moving again when Lisa calls for her, "Jennie,"

Only to say goodbye,

"I," Lisa starts off, and Jennie finally turns to face her.

And Jennie hopes that Lisa has at least an ounce of trouble and sadness and regret, when Lisa decides to break her heart more by saying,

"I'm leaving now."

So Jennie's only left to lower her gaze again as she bites her lips hard to stop them from shuddering, because Lisa just has to deeply bow and to say so formally,

"Thank you for everything."

The bow lasts for more seconds until Jennie loses count of how long she's holding her breath as well.

Lisa looks at her for the last time, and Jennie swears – she swears – that time stopped. Because Jennie really wanted for it to,

So Lisa won't be able to utter a shattering 'goodbye', so Lisa won't be able to smile at her one last time, so Lisa won't be able to take those steps away that followed,

So Lisa won't be able to take one last good look at Jennie like Lisa's still in love.

And when Lisa's able to get a good far a distance away from Jennie – Lisa's back sharply turned against Jennie, form barely visible – was Jennie only able to get a grip of herself and run to hug Lisa.

To hug Lisa so tight as to not let the other girl go anymore, to not let Lisa slip away from her hold, from her touches – from her.

"Lisa," Jennie sobs against Lisa's taut back, she says as she feels Lisa's breathing, "Please, don't,"

And Jennie feels foolish, and she doesn't mind feeling like that – because she is,

And Jennie admits that she's foolish as she desperately begs, as she desperately tries not to choke on her words,

"Please don't leave me."

Jennie's hands clutching strongly by Lisa's stomach, Lisa's scent being the only thing that envelopes Jennie's senses.

"Lisa, please don't do this to me," Jennie continues to cry, and she hasn't cried as hard before, "Please."

They stay still like that for more moments until Jennie feels Lisa turn to properly face her, but Jennie keeps her hold on Lisa – keeps Lisa locked in her tight embrace,

And she sees Lisa smile, she sees Lisa smile so soft, and so warm, and so gentle.

That Jennie hears her heart break a little more, because how can a tender smile still hurt you?

"Jennie," Lisa holds Jennie's face – so delicate and so careful – as Jennie sees the tears that fall from Lisa's perfect face, but still with that darned affectionate smile,

And Lisa's words are the ones to bring Jennie's own tears out in the open, because Lisa just has to confess,

"I love you."

Jennie should have said something back, should have said a reply. But the trembling of Lisa's hands, the ones that are cautiously placed upon her face keeps her silent,

Because she feels the same anxiety that Lisa's having, the same tensed feeling clouding up in her chest – making it impossibly hard to breathe.

And that constant twinge inside her chest constricts some more when Lisa adds,

"I'm in love with you,"

Lisa continues to smile, but Jennie knows better that that smile is a traitor,

Because then Lisa says,

"I'm the one who's in love between the two of us," Lisa closes her eyes, and Jennie feels her hands tremble no more, "The only one who's in love between the two of us,"

Jennie continues to watch Lisa – Lisa who slowly rests her forehead on Jennie's, and Jennie feels how Lisa softly shakes her head,

"And Jennie,"

Lisa who slowly flutters her eyes open to stare back at Jennie – Jennie who slowly reaches for her face, too, until their breaths tangle with each other's,

Lisa who says with a sigh, but not a hint of doubt when she confesses,

"I love you,"

Jennie finds herself closing her eyes because then Lisa is the one who pulls her face closer – and Jennie sees Lisa hesitate at first, sees the fear and uncertainty – unsure if what she's about to do is still sane and rational – inside Lisa's eyes before they shut fully,

And Jennie finds herself shutting her own eyes because Lisa is now the one to pull her for a kiss – for one last kiss – because Lisa decides to entirely break her beating heart,

"That's why I'm letting you go."