"Are you sure you're okay?"

Jennie hears Jisoo ask in between chews.

She only looks at her shorter friend as she nods, earning her a look she knows screams that Jisoo doesn't believe her.

"Did something happen? Between you and Kai?"

Jennie looks down, remembering her conversation with Kai the day before.

She nods, because it's somehow true.

"Shit." Jisoo mutters in disbelief, "Did you break up?"

"We were not together in the first place, Jisoo." Jennie finally speaks, "And I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to talk about anything right now."

She only hears her friend sigh, and she knows Jisoo's not offended with her words. She likes to think the other girl is so used to her by now.

"Alright, Jennie." Jisoo pats her head, "If you say so."

-------------------------

Jennie is the one waiting by the car that afternoon, surprisingly. Though she doesn't mind, she doesn't care.

She waits as she hugs herself from the afternoon breeze.

Had it always been like this for Lisa?

When Lisa waits for her for minutes, for hours?

But her wandering stops when she finally hears that voice she's been longing for to call her,

"Are you feeling cold?"

And even before she turns around, she feels a coat cover her. Repelling the cold, and transferring the other person's warmth to her.

She does feel herself get warm, because she finally turns around and sees Lisa.

Lisa smiling.

"Do you feel better now?" She hears Lisa ask, and Jennie can only nod as response.

She's too lost for words.

"Come on," Lisa leads her to the car as Lisa opens the car door for her, "We don't want you getting sick now, do we?"

Jennie only follows Lisa's lead, her senses blank because she also smells Lisa's scent cover her.

And Jennie doesn't mind it at all.

So Jennie lets out a small smile.

-------------------------

Jennie would have talked to Lisa about things.

About her feelings, about Rosé, about Kai.

About anything.

But Jennie's nerves always get through before her and so she just shuts up.

She shuts up for days that turned into weeks.

Weeks where she feels mixed signals from Lisa - where Lisa would be all over her in one moment then would back away the other, where Lisa would be looking at her like Jennie's the only one person in the world for a moment then Lisa would be acting like Jennie does not exist in another, where Lisa would be making Jennie feel the happiest in one minute and then would also be making her feel the loneliest the next minute.

When she would see Lisa looking at her with wonder, and what Jennie still wants to believe is love, then she would see Lisa looking at her with what she believes is disappointment, or regret, or sadness.

And Jennie doesn't know why.

Why all of a sudden?

The cold-hot treatment, the push-pull game that is still in play between them.

That Jennie has set, that she has triggered.

Just for all of it to come back to her, like a boomerang swung off strongly. Only to come back to her and hit her as hard.

And Jennie just shuts up for days that turned into weeks.

With Rosé's words ringing through her ears, with Lisa's smile playing in her mind in a loop.

With her thoughts of not being with Lisa tortures her over and over.

And Jennie just continues to shut up,

Until she receives a phone call - which for some reason she fears to answer - from her mother.

-------------------------

"Jendeuk-ah!"

"What is it, Mom?" Jennie asks as she's used to call her mother or the other way around, but Jennie admits that she feels...

Uneasy for some reason.

That this phone call, whatever they'll be talking about, is different that their normal 'how are you's.

"I'm just checking up on you, seeing how you're doing."

"I'm fine, Mom." Jennie shakes her head as a smile forms on her lips. Her mom really is a worry-wart, "How are things there at Anyang?"

"Oh, the usual. Your father says 'hi', by the way."

"Tell him 'hi' back," Jennie laughs, "Don't miss me too much."

"Oh, don't get ahead of yourself, dear." Jennie hears her mom chuckle softly from the other line, "How is Lisa?"

The question was normal, her mother does ask about the other girl whenever the woman would call, but Jennie - again - feels something ill with how her mother asked.

"She's... fine, I guess."

"And how are you?"

"I already told you I'm fine, Mom." Jennie starts to burrow her eyebrows. "What is this all about?"

"Is anything wrong?" Jennie asks as she can't take it anymore.

"I'm just checking on you," Jennie hears her mom sigh before continuing, "I know it might be hard on you, since I know you and Lisa are close, but honey, don't be too sad, okay? I'm sure you'll still remain friends."

And that was enough for Jennie to let her eyebrows meet completely, "W-What are you talking about?"

She doesn't know why she feels panic and tension rise inside her with how the conversation is going. It seems no matter what her mother says, even with that calm voice, just keeps her heart suspended.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? Didn't Lisa tell you?"

"Tell me 'what', Mom?" Jennie replies as quickly once her mother's question finished.

The anxiety of what it is all about, the fear that climbs up her being, and Jennie doesn't know if it was all safe for her poor heart to handle,

Jennie's heart that remains dangling by her throat when her mother answers,

"Honey, Lisa's family already paid their debt,"

And her hanging heart completely falls - broken and shattered - when her mother says, the words Jennie never thought would ever come, that Jennie fears of coming,

"Lisa leaves tomorrow."

-------------------------

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

It wasn't Jennie's intention to burst Lisa's door open. It also wasn't her intention to turn the other girl to face her before pushing the said girl to a wall.

The anger seething inside Jennie, stirring more with each second passing, because Lisa looks at her with bewilderment and confusion and - there it was again - sadness.

Jennie continues to clutch both of Lisa's shoulder in a tight manner because she can't control herself anymore.

And she doesn't understand why she's even acting like this, when she knows it's bound to happen soon.

And maybe that was what's wrong, when she knows this will happen soon, but not now. Not ever, Jennie wishes.

But here they are now, with Jennie sinking nails on Lisa while Lisa continues to stare at her with confusion, and Jennie can't help but repeat the question because she herself doesn't want to believe what was happening.

"Why didn't you tell me," Jennie forces her lips not to shudder and her tears remain intact inside her eyes, "That you're leaving tomorrow?"

That's when Lisa's eyes widen as she finally realizes why they're in this kind of a situation.

"I..." Lisa looks down at the floor, "I thought I'd be leaving next week, and I thought that it would be your parents saying it to you. And... I was about to tell you, but... I didn't know how."

"Bullshit, Lisa!" Jennie shrieks as she shuts her eyes tight - maybe to stop the tears she knows are already there, "You could have told me when you knew! But you decided to be selfish instead! Do you expect me to just wake up and find out that you're not there anymore?! Leaving me to wonder where you are and why you're not with me?!"

Jennie's hold on the blonde tightens with every word said, and she can't help but to feel more and more infuriated, "Fuck that bullshit!"

"J-Jennie..." She hears Lisa call to her as she feels Lisa's hands on her own, trying to calm her down.

But Jennie cannot, not even if she tries.

"Don't touch me!" Jennie harshly swats Lisa's hands off her as quickly as they were on hers a while ago.

"Jennie..." Lisa keeps her hands suspended in mid-air, not knowing where to put them next.

Jennie sighs of frustration before nodding and looking at Lisa, "You know what, Lisa?" She raises her eyebrows as she bite on a lip, "Go leave. In fact, I don't want to see you anymore once I come back. Don't even bother saying goodbye, just pack your things and get going."

Jennie forces a smirk, and she can't help but spew out more words as Lisa looks so worried of what she's saying.

"Jennie, I'm sorry... I really meant to say-"

"Shut up!" Jennie cuts her off as she starts walking away, "Just leave!"

"Jennie!" Jennie finds herself being held by the wrist and being turned around, "Listen to me."

"Let go." Jennie hisses as she tries to yank Lisa's hold off her.

"No," Lisa says firmly.

"I said 'Let go'!!!"

"Jennie! Will you please stop for a while and listen to me?" Jennie likes to believe that she hears desperation in Lisa's voice, but she's too desperate herself that she doesn't like to acknowledge it.

"No!" Jennie finally breaks free and she starts walking away again. Picking up a faster pace so Lisa won't be able to follow.

She reaches for her phone and calls, "Mr. Kim. Please get the car ready now."

"Jennie!" Lisa runs to her and catches her arm once more.

"Go fuck yourself." Jennie jabs a finger at Lisa's chest with each word as she shoves Lisa's hand off her again.

Jennie runs to the front door, with her name on Lisa's mouth, asking her pleadingly to stay - how ironic - but Jennie only gets in the car and instructs Mr. Kim to start driving,

Not even trying to look back as she knew her tears had won over her again.