Jennie spends the rest of the afternoon with Kai. She’s grateful that it ended better than she honestly expected.

She finds herself thanking Kai and apologizing to him once more. Breaking off things with him a second time doesn’t seem so nice now, does it?

So she only continues to run apologies and he only continues to pat her hands alright.

She’ll miss these, these talks with Kai.

Their random thoughts and sudden meetings, and Jennie doesn’t want to lose Kai all the way.

And she’s more thankful that it’s Kai who proposed that they stay friends because that’s what they had always been. Jennie feels guilty about that though.

Jennie more than obliges and it was already evening when they decide to go home.

It’s a good day, Jennie thinks, well, even with that somehow weird, off lunch with the Manobans. But it’s well, because it was with Lisa’s parents.

And Jennie smiles to herself idiotically because she’s met them, and with how Lisa’s words keep on ringing in her head about her being wanted to be Lisa’s parents own daughter as well.

But that smile is quickly – and painfully – swatted off her face when she chances upon this shoddy – well, not too shoddy – and less-known diner.

A diner she knows too well she wouldn’t be seen in, or even near to it. But suddenly she feels like she can live there, she’ll live there as long as it’s Lisa and the latter’s parents who would be there with Jennie.

But, no. It’s not Jennie who’s with them in that poor, substandard dining place.

It was that one person who knows how to keep Lisa around, and Jennie knows Lisa likes to be kept that way,

It was that one person who knows Lisa more than Jennie, more than Jennie ever will,

It was Rosé.

Rosé who knows better on how to make Lisa’s parents laugh, Rosé who knows which strings to pull to make them talk without choking or without much nerves, Rosé who knows how to call them without making them jump or hit table corners.

Rosé who makes Lisa’s parents comfortable.

With how Lisa’s parents seem to be their selves around Rosé, unlike how stiff and rigid they were when they were with Jennie a while ago, and even as far as eating to a normal diner – with Rosé, and not even worry about their well-made image anymore. With how they smile so widely as Rosé enthusiastically tell them a story, and how they laugh rather at ease as they join in.

And it hurts to see a scene like that. It pains to watch something like that.

Especially when she sees how Lisa laughs along, stealing a few slaps at Rosé – because Rosé made her laugh like that.

She sees Lisa talk about something so excitedly, the wide smile on her face stating how thrilled she is. Her eyes going from her parents to Rosé, and back.

And it hurts more, because Jennie thinks this is the most she’s seen Lisa talk.

She bites her lower lip as she tries her best to look away, because why does she like torturing herself with watching them looking so fucking happy like that?

“Jennie?”

Kai’s voice brings her back to reality, and she sees the panic in Kai’s eyes. Because of that, she immediately knows that whatever emotion it is painted on her face, is visible – and Jennie’s sure Kai doesn’t know what made Jennie look like that.

“K-Kai, I,” Jennie holds her forehead for she suddenly feels dizzy, “I-I don’t feel well.”

And she really doesn’t. Not with what she witnessed just now,

Why must it hurt this much?

“Please take me home.” Jennie keeps her gazes at the ground as she hurriedly clutches on Kai’s arm for support, afraid that she’ll fall.

Because she realizes something as well – something more painful, more than painful,

That Lisa doesn’t look at her anymore now,

The same way Lisa had been looking at her, the way Lisa never looked at her anymore.

Jennie sees Lisa look at Rosé – the same way Jennie wishes would be turn to her again,

And Lisa looks at Rosé,

Like Lisa’s in love with her.

Jennie’s not one to cry. She herself knows it.

But the moment she steps inside their house, she can’t seem to help the tears from falling down her eyes.

She’s quick to wipe them off, but the more she wipes them away, the more they come down streaming. She gives up sooner and let them out.

The things she’s been bottling up – right from when Sehun had shown interest to Lisa, to Rosé’s return – have been let off loosely.

Jennie can’t take it anymore. The scene with Rosé and Lisa with her parents is finally enough for Jennie to admit something she never wanted to – she never even thought of to.

She sits on the sofa and brings her knees to her chest as she tucks her face on her crossed arms.

She wasn’t able to take it – the pain, the frustration, the anger,

The jealousy.

And she hates herself even more, because she’s become too weak, because she let Lisa make her this weak.

And Jennie silently cries, not minding if she’ll fall asleep like that or if she’ll even be able to sleep at all.

Because her mind can’t stop thinking, and her heart can’t stop feeling.

No, Jennie loses the will to care anymore.

But she’s proven wrong because then she hears the front door open, and she spites herself for not crying in her bedroom instead.

Because then comes in the source of all her anger, and all her pain, and all her joy, and all her desperation – of all her feelings,

Lisa.

Jennie doesn’t move from her curled position, she just stays seated – knees still up her chest, chin still tucked, eyes on the floor.

“J-Jennie!” Lisa’s voice is panicked, Jennie can tell, “Wh-What happened?”

And Jennie finally looks at Lisa – with still the same, darn eyes that Jennie has always been drowned in – Lisa who’s about to run up to meet Jennie’s broken form,

But Jennie doesn’t let Lisa take even five steps further because then it was her – Jennie – who lets her emotions take over her and run to Lisa,

Her petite frame crashing onto Lisa’s broader one.

And Jennie really doesn’t care anymore, if she’s already softly sobbing underneath Lisa’s touches, or if her whimpers are heard or not.

She just has to feel Lisa, to feel that Lisa is with her – at least in that moment.

And Jennie carefully wraps her arms around Lisa’s neck to keep Lisa in place, her face hiding by the curve of Lisa’s neck as she muffles her cries.

“Jennie…” It comes off soft – gentle, even – when Lisa calls her, and it’s only Lisa who ever knows how to softly call her like that.

And so Jennie’s hold tightens.

Because this is the closest she could get.

The closest she could get ever to Lisa.

“What’s wrong?” Lisa asks, and Jennie feels Lisa hug her back delicately. Jennie thinks Lisa does it carefully so as not to hurt or startle Jennie,

“I’m here, Jennie. I’m here.”

And those words make Jennie’s tears leave her more.

Because that’s exactly what she wants to hear from Lisa, but she knows it’s not what she wants for it to mean – because it doesn’t mean to Lisa what it means to Jennie.

When Jennie doesn’t answer for more seconds, with only her weak sobs covering the room, did she feel Lisa jerk a bit.

She feels Lisa’s hands on her back tighten into fists as Lisa asks, “Is it because of Kai?”

Jennie doesn’t reply, but she does soften her hold of Lisa’s nape.

“Is it because of him? He made you cry?!”

Jennie feels the slight tremble of Lisa’s body, when they’re this close, she can feel all the vibration from when Lisa speaks. She can feel Lisa’s heart beat against hers – with hers.

And she only fears that Lisa also feels Jennie’s heart beating mad.

And she would like to make a fool of herself when she wants to believe that Lisa is angered with the thoughts of Kai hurting her?

“… No.” Jennie muffles the answer against Lisa’s neck, and she wishes Lisa hears it so Lisa will not think badly about him.

And maybe Lisa does hear her, because Lisa then asks, “Then why are you crying like this? I…” Jennie hears Lisa say more gentle and more comforting than ever, “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Jennie doesn’t answer again, because how can she? When it’s Lisa who said that?

So she only lets her hand clench once more around Lisa, because that’s the only thing she can do now.

“I’m pathetic.” Jennie softly says, her tears drowning her words.

She hears and feels Lisa’s breathing, Lisa’s heart beating.

She feels Lisa’s hands around her, the hands Jennie likes to keep her safe forever – trying to comfort her, “You’re not, Jennie.”

“I am.” Jennie repeats, which makes Lisa only hug her tighter, and so Jennie gives in to sobbing once more,

“I’m pathetic, Lisa.”

She hugs Lisa tighter, tears uncontrollably running out her eyes, as she finally admits –confesses – to herself, the truth that she never knew would hurt so much, the truth she never knew would bring so much pain and joy to her, I’m pathetic.

And Jennie continues to cry as she holds Lisa tighter – afraid that Lisa might be gone the moment Jennie lets go of her,

Because I’m in love with you.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

I’m spoiling u guys with lots of updates

(☞^o^) ☞