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I turn.

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Turn.

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I pace up and down. I went back to the bedroom I woke up in and I haven't been calm since he left in the morning. The day has been the longest day I've ever experienced. I felt every second, every minute, every hour. And I have been alone in this house all day. Armed men are surrounding the whole house.

The house looks like a compound of some sort, with a big shed and it is surrounded by forest and there is a lake not too far. It's all I've been doing all day. I went to all the rooms. This house has no electronics at all except the tv and the cameras everywhere. But no phone, computers, even a fucking walkie talkie.

Other than agonizing over my current situation, I am plagued by regrets. It shouldn't have happened like this. If I just sat and listened to them, then I wouldn't be here. If I didn't tell them to not follow me and if I hadn't hit them below the belt and tell them I didn't love them they wouldn't have let me walk alone outside.

Which in itself was a lie. Of course, I love them, how could I ever stop?

Now, I and our son are in this situation and it's all my fault. They fucked up first, but I know deep in my heart that they too found themselves in a difficult situation. Their negative feelings towards me weren't all unwarranted.

I may have not known what my father was doing but I did help him, and I did betray my friends. I was a child, but they were my best friends, and we were all victims of situation.

They couldn't have thrown everything for a childhood friend they didn't know anymore. That is a hard pill to swallow but it's the truth. We didn't know each other anymore.

And the thing is I don't doubt they love me, but it was just hard that they chose something else that wasn't me; I was bitter. They looked at me in my face and they deceived me. They recorded me and that was foul.

My mind had wondered before what they would have done if I never fell pregnant. Then I remembered back to when my mother died. They didn't know I was pregnant then, and even then, they said they wanted to fix it.

If I make it out of here, the questions now become: Can I trust them? How much can I trust them? Can the trust be rebuilt? Can we get back to where we were? To us? To our love and to our friendship? Or is it too broken? Will they be able to forgive me for what I said, what I did? Can they look at me the same? Will they be able to forgive me for endangering myself and peanut? Will they forgive me for whatever they are about to lose because of me?

But the bigger question is also, is there any other life I want for me and peanut other than being with them? is there anything else my heart desires beside them?

A Jeep driving in the compound disturbs my thoughts. I touch my chest hoping that will slow my heart rate. I rub my tummy.

Hang in there, peanut. Hold on for me, my baby boy.

I worry about what is going to happen now that he is back. I worry about them and my father. They all probably know I've been taken. I hope they keep their heads in place. I pat my tummy.

Your grandfather and your fathers are coming for us. Just carry-on swimming in there peacefully. Don't worry about anything, little one.

I release a shaky breath when Darrell gets off the car with another bulky man who looks like he chokes baby animals for a living. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I stand on the window even as I know they are inside. I go in a little panic. Are they going to come here?

Zar, don't be silly, of course they will come. You are the best leverage they could ever hope to secure, especially now that you're pregnant.

The door in the room I'm in opens and I freeze where I'm standing. I'm hoping, they won't see me if I stand rigid enough. I don't have to turn back to know its Darrell. He doesn't say anything for a few moments, then the door opens again. More aggressive this time and I know that's not someone who will have time for staring contests with me.

"Dyadya, I had it." He says, a Russian accent spilling through, and my eyes widen as I turn. He's Russian? Russian? Fuck.

The mean man zeroes in on me. He says something in Russian and I see Darrell's jaw tick. I tighten my hands around myself. I don't like whatever he is communicating with Darrell.

The mean man says one more thing in Russian before he turns to me. "Shlyukha." He scoffs and turns on his heel. 'Whore.'

When his footsteps disappear, Darrell comes closer. I don't move. I can't read his face. He stands close to me then he lifts his hand, and he brushes my cheek again. I am terrified. What if he wants something and his uncle wants him to violate me?

"Darrell, you don't have to do this." I try to sound strong.

He chuckles a low, dark chuckle that doesn't reach his face. It's just a sound that send all the alarm bells in me. I pull from his touch.

"You should have never let me see." I see a flash of something else behind his eyes.

I furrow my brows. I open my mouth to ask but nothing comes out.

"All that doesn't matter. What's important is that you will get us everything that is owed to us. You are the key."

"Darrell, stop this please." I try to grapple with the devil.

"Take off your clothes." His face masks any hints he is human, and I really see the monster.

I shake my head and I step back; he takes a step forward.

"No." Tears blind me.

It happens in lightning speed. By the time I realize what he means to do he has already done it. I tumble on the floor as pain radiates on my face. I taste iron and I hold my burning cheek. My ear rings and I try to get up and I see his fearsome form crouch next to me.

"I said get naked. The meeting is in 20 minutes, and you need to be ready." He rises to his full form, and he looks down at me. "Don't make me do that again, little star."

He turns and walks away. I am left fumbling, trying to take stock of what just happened. I have never been hit by anyone, let alone a 6-foot grown man. And that name sounds dirty coming from his lips. And what the fuck does he mean I should get naked. Are they going to parade me naked? I see his feet moving and he comes back to me. He throws pieces of clothing to me.

"Wear this. Someone will get you in 5 minutes. You don't want me to come back to get you or hear you are not dressed. Do you understand?" his voice sounds like a devil if I've heard one.

I nod, not wanting him to remain here. Maybe if he left, I could understand what the fuck just happened. He walks out and closes the door.

I look at the pieces of clothing. It's a very short skirt and a bralette. He wants my stomach exposed.

Fuck.

How much trouble can he get me into if I refuse?

Oh, peanut. If it was just me, I'd say no but I can't risk them hurting you. With heavy limbs I change, and I turn to look at myself in the barely there clothing. My stomach isn't that big but it's there and unmistakable.

My heart breaks when I look at my face in the bedroom mirror. I have a swollen lip now and my cheek is red. I move to go to the bathroom so I can clean it but the bedroom door opens.

When I walk out, it's one of the soldiers. I cover my stomach on instinct and he smiles a twisted smile with his yellow teeth, and I want to throw up.

"Speshite, shlyukha." He moves his head and I guess he wants me to come. 'Hurry, whore'

I steady myself before I move. I will not give my fear. I need to be strong. I have to be strong for all of us. I am done crying.

I move past the man in lightning speed, but he grabs my arm in a bruising grip and I stifle my wince. He guides me even if there is no need I could walk. He pulls me downstairs and he takes me to the basement where a projector is ready.

"Ah, she's here." Darrell says to the screen, and I am horrified to find all of them with the fathers there. The soldier pushes me to the chair, and I see them flinching a little, but they mask their reactions quickly. I notice the mean man sitting at the corner, away from the camera.

I stifle all outside reactions. I see dark circles in their eyes. Mason looks like he hasn't slept in days. They look worse than the last time I saw them, which was yesterday.

My baby Bas looks like he's struggling, and Jose looks like he's barely hanging on to sanity. Leo sits unmoving and unblinking. On first glances you wouldn't be able to see them, but I know them, I see; I see them.

They are all staring. I remember they all see my belly.

My father is the one who looks like he wants to say and do so much.

Oh, papa.

It slaps at me again and again that this is all my fault. We wouldn't be here had I not played the petty game. Now everything they've worked for stands in the balance because of me. Everything they've worked for their whole lives because of one stupid mistake. Peanut is in danger because of me. I hope we make it out of here and they find it in their hearts to forgive me.

"So, gentlemen, you see she's fine."

"You laid your hands on her. I will skin you alive, Popov." Leo says in an even tone. You'd think his unemotional demeanor means he feels nothing, but I know him. He is barely hanging on. And they are handling this better than I thought.

"So, are we ready to negotiate?" Darrell plays with a knife in his hands as he comes close to me. I see them stiffen.

"What do you want, asshole?" Mason's father says

"Careful, Bianchi. I will not take that tone with you." He moves the knife on top of my skin on the blunt side from my breasts to my stomach. "I have your potential grandchild here."

"Get away from her!" Bas gets up and his father touches his shoulder.

"Careful, Cirillo." Then he chuckles. "This is also potentially yours." Then he turns to the screen with a cruel smile. "Tell me something, did you go at the same time, or you took turns with her?" then he laughs.

"You talk a lot for a dead man." Mason says coolly, Diavolo shining through his eyes.

"Oh, I don't think I will. I mean, I have everything I need right here. What wouldn't you do for her and your unborn child." His sinister laugh fills the room and I see the men on the other side are more rigid than solid concrete.

"Okay, enough fun. I want the port of San Francisco, and the port of Miami for starters." He says and my eyes widen. Those ports are the backbone of all their business. They connect them to the rest of the Americas and the European channel. That will close them in like the other cartels and leave them at the mercy of him.

"You are insane." Jose's father says

"Am I, Cabrera?"

"That is impossible." Bas's father says

"Is it?"

The room goes silent for a few moments.

"You have family too, Popov, don't forget that." Leo says in a dark tone.

I see a small, very small flinch on Darrell's face but its hidden so quickly, but I saw it. His face widens in a villainous grin.

"You want to kill my family? Go ahead. I already lost a father, things as trivial as blood ties won't deter me from getting what is mine."

"I wonder if they will think the same?" Jose says

"Nice try. But..." he nears me and stands behind me. He pulls my hair by my ponytail, and he places his knife on my throat. I would fight for it and stab him if there wasn't another man on the other corner pointing a gun at me, willing me to play along.

"Fine. Let us discuss it. But you need to keep your filthy hands off her and our grandchild otherwise this is going to turn very sour very quickly, Adrik." My father says in an even tone.

"Oh, Clark. I almost thought you weren't there. I must say though, you look...bigger on tv."

"You have no idea who you grapple with, boy." My father's tone comes out cold and I see a glimpse of who I heard he used to be. Brain of The Syndicate. The mastermind.

"One last thing, I will need to know which one of you executed the hit on my father. I would like their head in addition to the ports." Then he presses a button, and the screen goes black. 

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