A loud knock disturbs my sleep. I groan. Who the fuck is that? My eyes are stuck close; I have crusty eyes. Pain in my chest reminds me my life sucks. I scratch the crust before I open my eyes.

"Zahara, I am not leaving until you open." Simba's voice comes from the other side.

"I'm coming, damn." I drag myself out of bed.

When I came back yesterday, I stupidly came back here where I could be found, and I cried. He had come around noon and found me a mess. But like a good friend, he didn't say, 'I told you so.' But it would have been fitting because told me, he certainly did.

I look at the time, its 7:37am, meaning dining time. Not that I was planning on going. I am going to try to avoid them wherever I can. And I am not up at my normal time because I haven't slept at all. Last night my body started acting weird and I couldn't stop throwing up.

I must be stressed the fuck out; my body is even reacting to my emotional devastation. Simba had held my hair last night while I threw everything up and I couldn't keep anything down. It was a sad sight. I alternated between crying and throwing up. He finally left my room at 3am when I threatened to beat the shit out of him if he didn't go to sleep.

"I'll break this door down." His serious voice comes from the other side of the door, and I can't help the smile.

I wear pajamas. I had taken off the top when it just kept getting wet from the tears. I fucking hate being so emotional.

I open the door and I give him my forced smile.

His face houses his concern.

I turn away from him. "I am still alive. You don't have to wake me." I head to the bathroom. He doesn't respond. Me and Simba have spent enough time together that he knows not to go toe to toe with me when I get bitchy. And right now, I just want to bite everybody's head off.

I turn on the shower and the water cascades down my body. Tears flow again.

Fuck.

I try to wipe them. I know it's stupid because the shower is washing them away, but I still feel the need to wipe them.

I'm so stupid. No wonder they used me.

I let out a breath and I lean on the wall. I feel tired.

This has been the worst 24 hours of my life. And I feel like I can't even blame them. I blame myself. I did this to myself and that's the truth. I knew it was too good to be true, I fucking knew it but my stupid desperate heart. I hit my chest, where my heart is.

Stupid. Stupid.

"Zahara, you alright there?" Simba bangs on my door.

Fuck. Did I zone out again?

I switch off the shower. I try to get myself on a leash. I look at my face. My eyes are red, and I have a puffy face. I need to cover it with makeup. I'll use drops for the eyes.

'Ok, Zahara, you are strong. You knew they would break your heart. You got played. Your father is probably going to hate you, but we don't care about that. A few more days then we can see mom. You have that to look forward to. Keep calm, and don't let them see you cry anymore. They aren't worth it.'

I nod after. I pull my hair in a ponytail. I get out and get my clothes. Simba doesn't say anything. And luckily, he doesn't show me any pity, he's just worried, I can work with that. I get dressed and I get my things.

I missed breakfast and I'm so hungry. Maybe Simba can get my food in lunch, and we will have to find a new place to eat because I'm not going to the dining hall ever.

We walk and I pull Simba to the vending machine, and I get an ice cream sandwich. Sugar should hold me for a few hours until I can get proper food. I get my favorite flavor.

I bite the sandwich and I grimace. Fuck, why does it taste like that?

Simba comes from behind me, and I close the barely eaten sandwich so I can throw it in the nearest trash can. We move through the crowd of students, and I feel my body tingling.

Them.

I don't look around. I just hope they don't come to me.

Luckily, they don't. Simba accompanies me to my class, and I get my seat. I take my usual seat. My emotions are locked down. I am an impenetrable fortress.

When the two stupid assholes walk in, I look away immediately. I don't want to see their stupid faces.

I don't care whether they are sorry, or they are rejoicing having played me. The teacher walks in immediately and the lesson starts. And to say the classes before lunchbreak were hell would be putting it mildly. They wouldn't stop looking my way. And it only made me angrier. But I kept a lid on it. I don't want to blow in front of these kids. I've given them enough to talk about.

The whole day goes without incident, and I am glad when I am back to my room. I couldn't eat anything, and Simba looked at me weird when I couldn't eat the sandwich he got me after lunch. It was a mayo egg sandwich and it tasted gross.

I shower and change. I wait eagerly for him to bring me something that's not stale and tastes normal.

I open the door when he makes himself known. To prevent one of them coming here, I made Simba tell me if its him. It is so I don't answer the door if its someone I don't want to see. Namely; the four idiots.

I grab the paper bag and I ravage through the turkey sandwich. I sigh after.

Damn, that hit the spot.

I find my friend's brows knitted in concern.

I lick my fingers. "What's wrong?"

He turns away and clears his throat. "Nothing."

I arch an eyebrow. What's his problem?

"Simba, I am not abundant in patience these days. So just spit it out."

He looks back at me with concern. "It's probably nothing. Don't mind me."

"This is your last chance. Fucking say it." I bite at him.

"Willow, you've been acting weird."

I look at him like he's dumb because he is. Of fucking course I've been acting weird. I just got handed the biggest heartbreak of my life.

"No, not that. I just thought it was the heartbreak yesterday, but you didn't eat your favorite ice cream...and the egg mayo..." he scratches his head.

My eyes widen, understanding where he's going. Is he insane? That can't be. I mean, it can never. Right, universe?

"Impossible, dude. I am on injection." I stop him in his tracks.

"Okay. But...my sister was on birth control too when she had-"

"I'm not fucking pregnant, Simba. I am just fucking sad."

He bites his tongue, and he nods. We fall into silence.

It couldn't be. Maybe my taste buds just had an off day today. That's all it is. It has to be. Because what's the alternative. I'm pregnant and I'm not sure who is the father? I don't want to be part of that stereotype, thank you very much.

God has already fucked with me enough; he wouldn't do that to me. I refuse.

"You ready for your exam on Wednesday?" his question pulls me out of my thoughts.

I am brought back to the present and we talk about the exam we are both writing.

The next day it is another day of trying to avoid the assholes but there is snickering this morning. But I knew it was a matter of time. I just have to brace this week then I will be free of this toxicity.

Me and Simba head to the dining hall I had sworn not to go to - just yesterday - because our new friend Mariah told us the assholes haven't been there at all, all of yesterday and they aren't there now, and I have a strong craving for Tuesday pizza.

Simba had given me the look, but I rolled my eyes. He needs to stop that shit.

We stand the line. Everybody is talking about me, but my thick skin has made me not care. I guess that's one good thing I got from them. First from the bullying then the relationship with all of them.

Simba drones on about something about his home country, South Africa, and their wild president, a man who just breaks into song in the middle of a nation address for no reason at all. I thought he was lying until he showed me the YouTube videos. I smile as he describes him, and I try to focus on him.

A chill runs down my body and I know without looking. Them. I try to really focus on Simba. I would leave if I didn't need this pizza. It smells like heaven, and I am famished. And in any case, there's no need for me to starve because they are pieces of shit.

The noise in the hall gets low. Simba is now more vigilant. He is very uneasy. He moves to stand on my side, protecting me from whoever is behind me. And I am so grateful for him. They all come, and they surround us. I don't look their way; I focus on the food that's been dished. I turn my whole body away from them and I take Simba's hand needing to anchor myself.

"Baby, please, can we talk." I feel the anguish in Bas's voice. It tugs at my heart involuntarily and I hate myself immediately. Why do I still react to them? I must really be dumb. I move. I can feel Simba stiff next to me, but I don't have time to pat him too.

"Zara-"

My face turns so fast, it's a miracle I don't break my neck. I glare at him.

"Don't you ever!" I am happy my voice translates my ire.

"Sweetheart, don't do this..." Mason reaches for me and he touches my arm. It comes out of me before I can control it.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

My voice deafens my own ears, and I can't stop the tears. I stagger forward. My knees feel weak, and I try to feel for something to hold on to. Hands help steady me. I am breathing heavy when I can stand. My heavy breathing fills the vast hall and I know I need to get out of here.

Everything turns sour and Simba pulls me away. Leo tries to stand before us, and Simba moves him to the side. He pulls me by the hand, and I cast my gaze low as I try to steady my own emotions. Simba tries to take me to the school nurse, but I refuse. I go back to my dorm. I stay in my room the rest of the day. He brings me my meals.

I get a lot of time to think when I am alone. I need to eliminate that possibility.

I ask Simba to get me the tests after school.

I sit on the toilet seat as I stare at the unused five tests. God wouldn't do it to me. That's all I know. I am just eliminating the reason for my haywire mood swings.

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