"What the fuck is your problem, dude?" Bas asks as I punch the punching bag again making him work as he holds it for me.

I haven't told them I heard her asking her father to leave.

I went to check on her because she hadn't stepped out of her room or been down to eat any of the meals since Friday. I felt like shit. We went too far.

It was supposed to be a test proving how much we don't care, but I do. I don't want to, but I fucking do.

I still haven't forgiven her for everything she and her family put us through, but I fucking care. I care that she had that broken look behind her eyes even when she tried to be strong. I hate that she walked through campus almost naked, and everyone looked at her body.

How I wanted to gorge out the eyes of every mother fucker who saw her. Blind rage burned in me when I thought about it. I hate that she spent the night in that stink hole. I hate my fucking self for letting it happen. I hit the bag again furiously and Bas staggers back and almost falls on his ass.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

I finally stop, panting hard. Leo throws a towel to my face, and I catch it. All of us are sweaty. We have been off since Friday. Although we kept her in there all that time but none of us could enjoy our victory. But I know we are all stubborn assholes.

"She told her father she wants to leave."

That gets their attention.

"Leave the school?" Mason growls. Though I don't find that necessary, we are all here.

"She wants to leave so soon?" Bas asks, looking hurt

Leo has a faraway look in his eyes.

"She can't leave!" Mason echoes what we are all thinking. We may be fucked up and what we did to her way beyond fucked up, but none of us want to see her go. None of us are done with her. We just aren't finished. Too much unfinished business.

"And what did he say?"

"I don't know. Her phone wasn't on loudspeaker."

"You went to her?" Leo asks

I nod. "I just wanted to see if she is fine. She slept the whole weekend." My brothers flinch like I am waving a knife in front of their eye sockets

"We have to make sure she doesn't leave."

"And how do you suppose that?"

"Talk to Malachi. It's been a while since we collected any favors." Mason says

We all nod.

"I didn't think she'd give up this quickly."

"Yeah, maybe the girl we used to know isn't there anymore."

"You all know that's not true."

"She's still in there, she just doesn't want to come out." Leo says

"Maybe something happened to her." Bas says in a quiet voice

We all flinch at that thought. We may hate her, but we still didn't want her suffering at other people's hands. Only ours. We were her executioners. Only us.

"If she did, we will kill all of them." Leo says in his sinister expression and we are all there with him.

"I think we should give her a break for a while, so she can adjust." Bas suggests

We all nod. For now, we just need to make sure she doesn't go anywhere.

The next day she doesn't show up for English. I know I shouldn't worry but I can't help it. Is she okay?

The rest of the week she doesn't show up to any class.

We started hearing Simba has been bringing her food and dropping it off her door. Apparently, she doesn't even want to see him. Which is very well. Gary used him to get her to open her door, and they left her keys with him.

I'm guessing she was upset when he gave her her keys. I hope she punched him in the face. The idiot. He didn't hesitate to throw her under the bus to save his own skin.

Spineless swine.

After school on Friday, I know I can't do this anymore.

I meet Mason with a biker jacket when I get to the house coming down from the stairs. Looking like he's going somewhere.

Bas comes from behind him. "Mason, we have to." He pleads

I arch an eyebrow.

"No, we don't."

"What is it?"

"He wants to go apologize to Zara like a pussy." Mason grimaces

I head to the fridge, and I collect a beer.

"Don't tell me you want to crawl to her and get on your knees too?" his narrowed eyes followed me

"Not apologize, but she hasn't been to school all week."

"So?" Leo comes in the room from upstairs

"What if she's depressed?"

"Then she'll get over that shit." Mason insists before he picks the keys to his bike, and he leaves us all three standing there.

"Asshole." Bas mutters under his breath

All three of us walk to her dorm. We hike up the stairs and we get to her room. There is noise coming in, maybe a laptop.

I hesitate before I knock. There isn't an answer. Then Bas knocks, more forceful this time.

She opens the door, and she looks a mess. A beautiful mess.

Her hair is tied in a messy bun, she has shorts and a mid-sleeve t-shirt. She doesn't look surprised that it's us. I look behind her and I see red.

Leo seems to have the same thought as he pushes the door and he is on this fucktard the next moment.

I don't have energy to get into this. But I guess if he killed him in my room then I will have many questions to answer. Leo has Simba pinned to the wall, and he is squeezing his neck.

"If you gonna kill him, just do it out of my room, I am tired, I wanna sleep."

I see Leo stagger back as his face turns to me. I see a myriad of emotions pass his face. I go and sit on my bed, and I crisscross my legs.

"Are you okay, Zar?"

"Don't fucking call me that, Sebastian. We aren't friends." I bite back

"You didn't come to classes this week." Jose hasn't taken his sorry gaze from my face

"When are you leaving?" I don't raise my eyes to look at them. I am fighting my rage that is close to bursting forth the longer they are here. I was mopping all week feeling sorry for myself and crying and lying to my mother I was going to school. But I haven't been angry, not really. Not until now.

I don't answer. Then I hear a sharp inhale of breath and I remember Simba. I am finding it hard to feel sorry for him. When he came a few minutes ago wanting to talk and explain himself, I let him in, and he hadn't even gotten to the part where he said sorry. But aren't we all sorry?

He is sorry he betrayed me.

They are sorry they treated me like shit.

I am sorry I live this pathetic life.

The doctors are sorry my mother's cancer keeps progressing despite the best medical care.

All the fucking sorry's.

"Just go. All of you. I'm alive, I haven't hanged myself. Just leave me alone." I say in an almost whisper, exhaling and blinking hard.

I still don't want to cry in front of them. No one moves in the room after what I said. Then I get off the bed and I hold my door. Leo grabs Simba and he has him by the collar.

He stares me down before he exits my room. Bas and Jose hesitate, looking at me. They just stand there. I turn my back on them and I blink harder as it gets harder to fight these tears.

After a while I hear them takes steps and leave. I don't wait for anymore stops and I close the door on their faces and lock my door. I go to the bathroom and I open the shower and I sink in and I weep.

The doctors had called me this morning telling me the round of chemo had failed, but they were starting her on another and they had hope this time. They called me this morning instead of her and I had assumed the worst.

It wasn't much better but at least she was still here. I had to wait for afternoon to call her. She pretended she was fine and asked me about my day. I lied, again. I lied to my dying mother; I was the worst kind of person.

She told me she was proud of me, and she wanted me to live life. She has been repeating that to me all week.

I think I should try.

I can't let the syndicate steal this time from me. I don't want to look back and see time wasted. Honoring my mother would be to do what she says. After 2 hours of crying and making major life decisions, I decide to get back out there.

I was done being a pushover and I was done hiding. I want to have real stories to tell my mom while she's still here. I want to tell her about kissing boys. I want to tell her about my joys. I know she worries for me.

The weekend I work on my missed submissions, and I study, and I listen to music and once I went for a walk in the town. I saw more of it. I bought 2 cute dresses.

I don't need girl friends. I mean, I've survived all my life without them, and I haven't really had any friends for 9 years so it's not like I am not used to being on my own. I told mom about my adventures in town and all the cute boys I saw. I saw her happy face and I knew I was on the right track.

The next day I am back to school. I wear one of the cute dresses and I'm feeling good.

I have a lot of explaining to the principal, but he lets me off with a warning. I walk around from class to class still with those snickers and talks but I don't give a fuck anymore.

I also see appreciative looks from some of the guys but also for that I don't give a fuck. They can all eat shit.

I have my iPod and I tune out the world if I'm not listening to a teacher. I have been ignoring the syndicate. I have been getting a lot of stares from them, but they don't approach or move to say anything.

I walk to the dining hall, and I stand in line. I don't return the smiles some people discretely send my way. They are all fucking snakes.

I grab my food and I head to my table. I sit down. I munch on my fries as I bounce lightly to the song on my one ear. Two timid girls come to sit on my table and I raise my eyes to them.

"What the fuck do you think you doing?" I bark with a twisted look on my face. These kids mustn't test my patience.

"I-I... we just wanted to s-"

"Find somewhere else, dork and dorka." I spit before I grab my burger and I bite it

I don't care about the looks I get from dismissing the girls. After lunch I get back to the rest of my classes and at dinner, nobody attempts to come. Which I am glad.

On Wednesday I decide to take an afterschool walk to the town. The weekend is too far, and I feel like proper ice cream. I use the secret exit in the woods, and I walk.

I look around a few shops before I settle at the ice cream shop. The shop is filled with students, I'm guessing from the other school. I get a few looks of interest, but I pay all that no mind.

I order my sundae and I grab a seat by the window. Then I take my kindle out as I wait for my food. I am so lost in the book that I don't notice someone next to me until they place the sundae in front of me.

I almost jump. I am met with a bright, charming smile. The guy from the coffee shop.

"I hope you don't mind; I took this from the waiter." He gestures to the treat

I smile back at him before I reply. "Nah, not at all and thanks. It's kind of you."

He gives me a kind smile and my insides warm at the show of kindness. I haven't experienced any kind of kind acts at that hell hole I stay at.

"I couldn't talk the other day but what's your name? I'm Darrel."

"Hi, Darrel. I am Willow."

"Cute name. So, I know we've only seen each other twice but I'd like to talk some more. Can I have your number?" he asks and pulls out his phone

Do I want to talk with him? Sure, he seems cool. Besides it's not like I have a choice, I don't have a long list of suitors and I don't have any friends here and everybody hates my guts. I take the phone and punch in my number. Besides, he can't be worse than those assholes from my school.

He grins to me. "Thanks," he takes his phone back and scratches his head. "I hope you don't hate memes."

I chuckle. "I'm not opposed to them."

His friends call him back.

"I'm coming, assholes!" he yells at his friends. I guess they don't care that the rest of us are trying to enjoy a quiet evening. Though, I suppose I may be the only one who has a problem with it because all the girls have heart eyes for all of them, including Darrel. I guess they are the typical high school crushes. Football players, tall, bulky and nice faces.

He chuckles nervously. "I have to go but I will text and call you, okay?"

I nod. He backs up and winks at me before he twists and joins his friends.