Naala stood in front of her mirror, smoothing out her dress. Her hair was in a neat ponytail, showcasing her moon shaped face. Her cheeks were less full and her eyes less bright. She stood staring at her reflection, getting lost in the sadness in her eyes.

"Mama are you ready?" Maniya asked knocking on the door. Naala cleared her throat and nodded her head,

"I'm coming," She squeaked out. Slipping her feet into her custom Hermes slides.

Malia was in her bassinet, sucking on her hand. Naala leant down and scooped her up, kissing her cheek.

"We're gonna be okay Phat," Naala muttered to her before picking up her purse and leaving the room.

Naala walked down the stairs in silence, all that could be heard was the sound of the steps creaking. Her entire home was full, full of people she didn't know nor care about.

They all gave her that sympathetic smile, a smile that didn't reach their eyes but looked a bit too happy for a repast.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Naala," An older woman spoke standing infront of her. Naala stared blankly at the woman, trying to understand why she was speaking to her.

"I can only imagine how you feel," The lady continued. Naala bit her lip to stop the tears she'd been holding back from falling. "Losing a spouse is never easy,"

"Naala," Brianna said dragging Naala's attention from the woman. Brianna held her hand out to embrace Naala in a hug.

"Bri," Naala whispered. "Take the baby," She whispered pushing Malia into Brianna's arms. Brianna took Malia and Naala jetted off, pushing past various people to get out of the door.

Her chest heaved up and down as she leaned on the porch banisters.

"I need you," Naala cried out holding onto the banister tightly. "I can't do this without you Amir, I need you," Naala repeated crying softly.

"I'm never leaving you," Naala heard from behind her. Sniffing she turned around and there he was, her husband in all his glory.

"You have to come back to me," Naala said sadly staring at Dave.

"Wake up Love, I'm not going anywhere," Dave smiled brightly. Naala shook her head,

"If I wake up, you'll be gone," Naala sobbed. "I need you,"

"Naala, you're the strongest woman I know. You don't need me, you think you do but you don't. You've been doing great without me - you'll be fine," Dave said encouragingly. "You'll see me again, all you need to do is wake up baby,"

"I won't," Naala said wiping her face. "I'm staying here with you,"

"There isn't anywhere to stay mama, get up," His voice rang in her ears. Suddenly everything started to disappear from around her, leaving her in darkness.

"Get up," Naala heard again, this time it jolted her out of her sleep making her sit up in her bed.

"Another dream?" Maniya asked her mom as she stood over her. She could see that Naala was drenched in sweat and was breathing heavily.

"Yeah," Naala mumbled sitting up in the bed. "Why are you up? Are you okay?"

Maniya played with her fingers nervously. "No," She shook her head.

"What's the matter Angel?" Naala said softly moving so Maniya could get into the bed next to her.

"I miss daddy," Maniya mumbled leaning on her mom's shoulders. "This doesn't feel right mama,"

"I know," Naala croaked out rubbing her hand through Maniya's soft hair.

"We can go see him tomorrow okay?" Naala added trying to hold back her own tears.

"Okay," Maniya said softly. She cuddled up to her mom and let herself fall asleep to the sound of her mom's heartbeat.

Naala stayed awake, staring at the wall in front of her. She wanted to scream, to break things, to drink until she couldn't anymore but her babies needed her. They needed her more than anything.

~~

Naala got out of her truck, and took the flowers out of her backseat. Maniya decided she didn't want to join her mom on this visit - she wasn't ready. Naala made her way to where he was, sitting down in front of him.

"Hey bae," Naala said pulling at the weeds that were growing on the tombstone. "I brought you some fresh flowers, I thought we needed to dress you up a bit," She laughed to herself.

As Naala sat down, fixing his graveside she started to feel emotional.

"It's not fair Mir," Naala cried. "This wasn't meant to happen, you weren't meant to go,"

"I'm not strong enough for this. I'm not strong enough to take care of them on my own. I need you here with me." Naala said with tears streaming down her face.

Naala fiddled with her wedding ring, she vowed she would never take it off after what happened to him, after what she wished on him.

"I miss you and I love you Amir, so much," Naala cried. "But I don't think our love was enough,"

And she was right, their love was never enough to keep them together. If anything their love was what drew them apart. They both wanted the same thing, but they didn't know how.

Naala thought she poured her life into their love but instead she poured her hurt and blame into their relationship. Finding cracks and holes to plant her seed of doubt. She would have never been happy, no matter how hard she tried. Not until she let go of her pain.

Dave on the other hand, manipulated the meaning of love to suit him. He shaped and moulded Naala into what he thought was the perfect woman but was actually bits and pieces of a broken one. He took her pain and intensified it without knowing it. Dave created the perfect storm.

It was only a matter of time before their love would have erupted, it took death for Naala to understand that what they had wasn't love.

Years of abuse opened her eyes to the meaning of love and when someone would later ask Naala what is love, her answer would be simple.

Love was never easy for her. Love was pain, love was never ending tears, love was abuse. Naala never knew the true meaning of love, simply because she never experienced it.

And every night before Naala cried herself to sleep, she asked herself What is Love?

That concludes What is Love. It's been a hell of a ride guys!! The next book is out and I've already got one chapter for y'all.

A big shout out to everyone that supported this book, by commenting, voting, hell even just reading. It means a lot to me and it makes me even more excited for their next journey 🤍