I woke up and I know I had to be tripping. But when I tried to get up I realized it was not a dream and I was far from tripping. I had a tatted arm around my waist and a face in my neck. I was warmer and more comfortable than usual when I sleep on the couch. I opened my eyes and saw Jay. 'Like when did he get here.' Nae thought to herself.

I begin to get up but couldn't. So I tried again, and the grip was like a death grip, 'Nigga let me the fuck up dude, geeze.' Thought Nae. "Where you going?" Jays deep voice spoke, "To the bathroom to get ready for school, if you let me the fuck go nigga." I said with a hint of annoyance in my voice as I rolled my eyes.

"Don't get smart" he said letting go. "I've been smart all my life, thank you very much." I said standing and stretching. "Damn MA, I could wake up to this sight daily." he spoke with a sly smirk upon his face, as he began to look me up and down as if I were his favorite meal that he could not wait to devour.

In that very moment, I wanted to die, because I only had on a sports bra and my black boy shorts with the white trim. He was wrapped in the cover so I grabbed a huge pillow. "Umm, don't look at me. " I said wanting to cry. There's no way he would see me as sexy "Where'd that bruise come from shorty?" He asked eyeing the spot over my ribs. "Umm, it's not a bruise, it's a, umm. . . birth mark and stop looking at me like that. I grabbed my phone and stormed off. "Shit we late for school. Get dressed; the guest rooms down the hall." I told him as I pointed down the hall while walking off to my room, I could so feel his eyes on my ass as I walked up the steps.

I hopped in the shower, and begin to bathe. I so wish I could wash away the other inner scars of him. But just like him, they will never go away, and I will never get my life back. He not only took my life, he took my child's life too. Even though I was afraid, and was not ready for a child, I would have loved him/her with everything that's within me, rape baby or not.

After thoroughly scrubbing my self clean, I got out the shower; dried off and put on cocoa butter and vanilla mixed lotion, I was sure lotion my body from head to toe, then slipping on my sun dress; afterward I bent over to put on my MK sandals, when Jay knocked on my door once, then took it upon himself to come in my room unannounced, without my permission.

"Well sure, Just bring your ass on in here, it don't matter that I didn't tell you to come in." Nae mumbled under her breath, for some strange reason her heart rate has quickened because she was annoyed, and afraid; no guy has ever been in her bedroom before.

"What was that baby? Speak up" he spoke slowly walking towards her. Without him knowing he was causing flashbacks of how Trey would stalk towards her before he would take advantage of her, and truth be told, it was sending Nae into yet another panic attack.

When he noticed what was going on he stopped where he was and spoke to her.

"Bae, I promise I would never hurt you. I would never put my hands on you unless I was making or showing my love towards you. I would never make your scream, or hurt you, unless it was me making love to your sexy ass body. Just calm down and breath baby, it's me Jay. Baby look at me, please God. . . baby please look at me." Jay said with so much love and concern in his voice. He really wanted to know more about his woman, and what happened to her that would make her be so afraid right now?

Nae finally looked up, but her face was red and covered in tears and sweat. When her breathing evened out he walked up to her; she fell into his arms sobbing for ten minutes. Once she got herself together. She went and washed her face and came back out the bathroom, acting as if nothing ever happened.

"OK, I'm ready for school now." She smiled, but Jay wasn't buying it.

"I'm not about to let that slide. So what's the deal? " he asked with a raised brow.

"Nothing, Just a moment, I guess it happens." she said smiling walking passed him.

She reached the bottom of the steps and walking in the kitchen grabbing her purse, which made Jay mad because she was really trying to act as if nothing happened. He stood in front of her and made her look him in the eyes although she tried not to.

"What was that about? And I'm not taking no silly ass answer either " he said looking into her eyes

"I just had a panic attack it happens. It's not the first time, I'm sure it won't be last" she told the truth but not why they began in the first place.

"Baby, you know I would never hurt you, Right? " Jay asked but Nae wouldn't look in his eyes and walked off. She looked at her phone and saw they were late.

"Dammit we late. That's an hour drive." she said exhaling on aggravation. "I wasn't planning on us going anyway. You going with me and that's that." Jay said grabbing her keys and opening the passenger door for her. "If I'm not going to school I'll just stay home, thank you but no thank you. Ty left his car you can gladly take that. See you whenever." She said trying to take her keys back.

Jay looked at her and wanted to snatch her stubborn ass up, but she was so fragile and delicate and beautiful. He wanted to hold her and make her, sure of him and the world around her. He allowed her to touch the keys, but grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.

"You can fight me, but I'll always fight for your love. I wanna be that man for you. That means on all levels. Now get in the car. . . Please." he spoke looking deep into her eyes, before he leaned in and placed his soft lips against her own soft lips.

He pulled back as she looked down, but her cheeks were red, and he knew she felt what he felt. He opened the door and Nae got in and put her seatbelt on. She leaned back looking out the window. When Jay started the car TANK - OF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES came on. He let it play cuz he knew the words, and he felt they fit for the moment.

As we drove the trap. I've noticed that she listens to certain music. I always listen when she plays music, because a lot of women play music that speaks to their hearts. And hers is broken, and I just wanna know why so I can fix it. It took us forty five minutes to make it to the trap. It's an hour away from the school in the other direction.

I noticed she wasn't saying anything, you could tell she was in her own world, and it was bothering me how shut off she was. If she could only let me in a lil bit; so I could start breaking them thick ass walls she built up down so I can then love on her. Y'all don't understand she is so sexy and shes thick. I love my women like that, so I can hold on to.

We finally pulled up to the trap, as she slowly became alert to her new surroundings. Jay saw fear in her eyes, and know that the fear was not the home grown kind of fear. The type of fear was instilled into her; through some kind of fearful encounter. Which made the anger inside me began to build and boil over as Jay began to think, 'Whatever nigga that has broken my girl, as soon as I healed her, that nigga is going to die by my hands, and that's a promise.

After shutting of the car Git out, and walked around to open her door, but when I did,she didn't move. I called her name three times before she answered.

"Nae, baby? Nothing is going to happen I run this. You're always safe with me." Jay spoke to Nae. "Where are we?" She asked as she started side eyeing him. "One of my traps. The main one actually" Jay replied reaching his hand out. "Just promise I won't die today." Nae said cracking a smile he smiled back at her joke but he knew something deeper was bothering her.

"I promise baby. " Jay said

They got out and walked in after Jay did his special knock. As they walked through Jay dapped a few and Nae was looking around and thought she saw Trey's homeboy who kicked his lips at her, but she dropped her head held on to Jay tighter which he picked up on but when he looked around no one was looking their way, they were all working. He pulled her to his office and had her sit down and gave her a Dr Pepper not knowing its her favorite drink

"Thank you, this is my favorite" Nae said smiling and dancing a lil in her seat which made Jay happy to see her genuinely smile about something. "Are you Ok?" Jay asked. "Yes." Nae replied with a smile. "If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know and we can go." Jay said reassuring her he was going to keep her safe.

"For now I'm fine, Thanks Jay." She spoke sending a sweet smile his way, an in return, he smiled back and went back to doing his paperwork. For some odd reason, that she could not properly explain, but Nae felt comfortable in Jay's presence as she got up and retrieved another Dr Pepper from his mini fridge, which Jay wasn't tripping off of. He was just happy she was becoming more relaxed, and comfortable around him, and being a herself, well at the least she showed a piece of who she once was before she was broken.

"Umm, Jay, I umm need to, umm use the ladies room, Please." He noticed how she had a innocent side, that made his blood boil in a good way. "Yeah baby, it's down the hall to the left one door on your right. Need me to go with you?" He asked, he didn't mind following his woman if needed. "No Jay, I'm a big girl." She giggled

"I know you grown, but you're far from big, make me fuck you up, Ima teach you that one day." Jay said smirking.

When Nae caught on to his underlining meaning she blushed, as she jumped up, and headed out the office smiling.

She found the door and went into the bathroom, and was surprised to find out that it was very clean. She was happy about that. After she used the bathroom; she washed her hands. As she came out and closed the door, there stood Trey's homeboy. She knew right then and there that she really did see him earlier.

"Well well well, if it isn't the fine ass piece of pussy." He replied as he backed her up against the wall, as he used his right hand to remove the stray hair that fell from her pony tail and fell down on the left side of her face, as he proceeded to pushed the strand of hair behind her hair. "Yeah... Trey told me how tight you were, and how you scared to give him more. How about you Let me in them guts baby." He said breathing down her neck, which made her smack his hands out of her face. "Leave me alone. I don't want you, or that piece of shit." Nae retorted as she tried to move him from out of her personal space. "Don't worry baby, Trey and I will both fuck you later. Jay won't always be around." He spoke as he let her go the walked off smiling back at her.

Nae didn't know what to say or do, so she just dropped her head and headed back to the office and sat back down where she was sitting earlier.

"Girl I was just about to come get you. You straight." Jay said not looking up. "Yeah, sure just fine." Nae said but the fear in her voice was evident and made Jay focus all his attention on her. The fact that he is a trained kingpin, was not working in her favor of covering things up. "So you wanna lie again?" He spoke back sitting back and rubbing his goatee.

Nae didn't say anything so he stood and walked towards her, kneeling before her but she wouldn't look at him

"

Baby you cool. Do I need to body somebody?" Jay spoke, Nae lift her head to say something, but was cut short but Ty and Nia walking in

"Hey Nae, didn't expect to see you here; and with Jay, What's going on with y'all?" Nia spoke making googly eyes at her sister. "Yeah, umm nothing, about to leave actually. Say guys since your cars at our house, I'ma ride with Nia and y'all can just drive my car home,whenever you're done Kay?" Nae said as she stood up grabbing her purse and phone.

Jay didn't like the fact she was running again, but that worked for him, because he would still have to come to the house when they were done. He walked them to their car, when Nae and Nia was safe, both girls drove off as he turned to walk back in the trap; noticing one of his workers looking hard at Nae.

He would. Definitely ask her about that later; if that was the reason she was afraid, and ready to go. He walked back in the trap as his worker Lorenzo went back to work. He had a feeling he was gone have to fuck him up behind his. He went back to the office and finished his paperwork and counting money with Nae on his mind.

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