I know it was my decision, but fuck! I'm sure it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean it's easy and it doesn't hurt. I decide this is Allie's week, so I talk to the girls and tell them I'll spend every second — that I'm not in class or studying — by myself thinking about everything. I have to push through it and get this over with.

I use every method I could possibly come up with, I write everything that happened down then I read it many times, I meditate to clear my head, lay on my bed and think everything through... I even consider talking to Matt, but decide against it. I won't give him another chance to manipulate me again.

When Sunday arrives, I'm feeling a lot better, not there yet, but better. The girls gave me the space I asked for and that helped a lot. Now I feel ready to return to my usual life.

I'm back

😉

We missed you!

🌼

great!

now we can talk about

spring break

its in two weeks

I know that

🌼

and i want to know

what were doing

we decided were not

doing anything crazy

but what will it be?

i'm going back home

you can come with

if you want

🌼

is there a pool?

yes...

🌼

deal

were going to jamies

I guess it's decided

I smile reading the texts, I've missed the girls and I'm excited to get back to spending time with them. But then I realize what will happen, we're all going to Jamie's house and I'm going to spend the entire time with her.

Am I ready?

It doesn't matter, I don't have to be. At least not like that, we're just going to spend spring break as friends, there's no need to freak out about us. I'm more than ready to hang out with my friends, I miss them.

Let's do it

Btw

I'm hungry

Going to the cafeteria rn

I'll meet you there

🌼

omw

I grab my things and head to the dining hall to have lunch. A small smile stays on my lips the entire way there, I can't wait to see the girls.

I get my food then find my table, but before I can have a bite of it, I'm being crushed by a pair of arms.

"I've missed you!" Daisy squeals near my ear.

"I've missed you too." I smile and turn around to hug her properly.

"Does this mean you're ok now? With all the 'thinking' you were doing?"

"Pretty much. I'm not done, but I'm almost there."

"I'm really happy." She holds my face between her hands and squeezes my cheeks. "And I can see you're happy too." We both smile.

"What's up, bitches?" I turn around to see Jess approaching our table.

"Bitches?" I laugh and pull her in for a hug.

"It just felt right." She shrugs.

"Ok, 'bitch', let's get our food, because this 'bitch' didn't wait for us." Daisy pulls Jess by her hand and they leave me behind, smiling alone.

When Monday comes along, I leave my class and start walking to have lunch with the girls. Jamie was busy yesterday, so this is the first time I'll interact with her after our conversation almost a week ago. We've seen each other at class, but she respected my space.

Why am I nervous? We're still best friends, I just have to act like a normal person, it's fine.

When I walk in the cafe, I find Daisy pretty fast and go to the table. My gaze quickly focuses on Jamie's back. I take a deep breath while walking and soon I find myself standing next to them.

"Hey, girls." I smile and sit next to Daisy.

"Hi, babe," she says.

I turn to Jamie and find her eyes. "Hey, Allie." She smiles. "It's nice to have you back. No, scratch that, it's great to have you back, 'cause I needed your help with Calc this past week, and since you were doing your thing, I didn't bother you, but now I need you more than ever." I laugh and let all the nerves go. We're back. "I'm serious!"

"I know you are," I say. "I'll help you with that."

We all get our food and talk about things we have to do for classes, but soon Daisy brings up our little trip.

"So, spring break. Did you check with your mom to see if it's fine if we come with you?"

"Yeah, we're clear. She's really excited to meet you guys and put faces to the names."

"And I'm excited to meet her," I chime in. "I can't wait to try her food. It's not everyday you have a professional chef cooking for you. I might ask her for a few tips to use next time I get back home."

"She'll be more than happy to do that. She loves when people want to talk about all things food."

"I'm going to have a full week of homemade delicious food." Daisy sighs. "This is my dream. The food here isn't my favorite. I can't wait for us to move to our own full apartment so I can actually cook something."

"The semester will be over in less than two months, then we'll go home and come back to our own place." I giggle. "Just hang in there a little longer."

"Fine." She huffs and turns to Jamie. "But when are we leaving? Have you planned it already or you're still deciding?"

"I was honestly thinking about ditching class and going Friday morning to try to escape traffic. It'll be worse than usual, but if we leave on Saturday we might as well walk the whole way, 'cause it would be faster."

"I'm ok with Friday," I say and Daisy nods. "I just need to know what to pack. You know how much I hate packing and unpacking, so help me choose exactly what I'll need."

Jamie giggles. "It doesn't rain a lot and it won't be that hot, but you two think 70 degrees is already warm, so..." I roll my eyes. "We're staying for a week, with a pool and warm-ish weather, judge for yourselves."

"This is going to be so much fun!" Daisy giggles and claps her hands, making Jamie and I laugh.

"I agree," I say.