When I wake up on the next day I'm filled with way too many feelings. I'm scared, sad, anxious, angry and confused. But I'm also hopeful, happy and excited. I feel like I'm going back to the normal Allie. She's just a few steps away and I'm coming closer.

I lay low for a couple of hours. I know I might get stressed when I talk to Matt later, so I avoid anything overwhelming.

Today is the art festival Jess invited us, so I decide I'll go to Matt's and head straight to the festival after that.

Can I come over?

We have to talk

Of course

Is anything wrong?

We'll talk when I get there

I get in the Uber and spend the whole ride deep in thought. I wish I realized sooner what was really going on with us and spared myself from all this crap I've been through.

When I get out of the car I remember about the things I used to leave at his place for convenience and the thought of carrying them throughout the festival gets me frustrated.

Hey

I'm at Matt's

Can you pick me up so I can put

the things I left here at your car?

sure

just send me the address

Allie is sharing her location

Just give me 30 minutes

tops and I'll be out

If I think it's going to take

longer than that I'll text you

i'll be there in 30

I smile at my phone and put it back in my pocket. I look up and stare at the house if front of me. I take a deep breath and go ring the bell.

"Hey, Pumpkin." He opens the door with a smile on his face.

"Don't call me that."

"I thought we were over this argument."

"We need to talk Matt." The tone of my voice seems to make him realize how serious I was.

We walk in and he sits on a couch. He gestures to the seat next to him, but I sit on the opposite couch.

"Matt, we have to talk-"

"So you keep saying." He cuts me off.

"We have to talk about us." He frowns and open his mouth to say something, but I don't let him. It's my turn now. "You were drinking on Friday. Was that the first time?"

He looks down. "No, but it was the last."

"When was the first, then?"

"During the break."

"You've been drinking all of this time?" I raise my voice.

His eyes find mine and they seem guilty. "I promise I'll never drink again! I'm so sorry for everything that happened, especially on Friday, Allie. I don't know what got into me."

"Did you drink earlier that day or only after I got here?"

"I was sober when you arrived. I only drank when I thought you were asleep, I swear."

"Were you drunk when you came over last week?"

"No."

There it is. He wasn't drunk when he destroyed my dress or when he tried to force himself on me. It was all 100% him, every decision was made consciously.

My eyes fill with tears. "I can't do this anymore, Matt."

"What do you mean?" He frowns. "I already told you I'll never drink again. We can do this, everything will be fine."

"But it isn't fine right now." I raise my voice. "I'm not fine! I'm far from it, actually."

"I don't understand..."

I laugh sarcastically. "Of course you don't. You never pay attention to anything but yourself!" I get on my feet. "You never think about me, Matt! You never ask me anything and if I just tell you something you never really register!"

"That's not true! I always listen to you!"

"What is my mother's name?" His face goes blank and he stays quiet. "Yeah, I thought so. By the way, how is your mother, Andrea, and your father, Henry? What about your step-mother, Jane? Is her bakery doing ok?" I stare at him. "Do I have to keep going?"

"So what if I don't know that much about your life?" He gets up and raises his voice.

"We've been together for almost five months!"

"That's not the most important thing in a relationship!"

"Ok then. Would you say trust is?" He nods. "Because I don't trust you anymore. You've been drinking and you didn't tell me. You hid that from me. And you hit me, Matt. How can I trust you after that?"

"That isn't-"

"Shut up!" I scream. "I am talking right now." He closes his mouth and I keep going. "I'd say respect is also really important, wouldn't you? But where was it when you ripped my dress apart because you thought it was 'too revealing' and that I am your property? I am not a thing to be owned, Matthew. And what if it was 'revealing'? I can do whatever the fuck I want with my body. If I want to walk around naked, so be it. If I want to cover myself from head to toe, I'll do it. If I want to get that fucking tattoo you were so opposed to, I'll do it."

"Don't you dare ruin your body like that again! You already did that twice!"

"Did you not hear what I just said?!" I scream. "It's my fucking body! If I want to tattoo 'I love dick' on my forehead, I will!" I huff. I'm already getting tired and I'm not even halfway done. I take a deep breath. "Ok, Matt. Now, what about consent? Do you know what that is?"

"Allie, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Friday when I asked you to stop, more than once, by the way, but you didn't. I had to push you off of me before you pulled my pants down, because you thought could 'fix' the fact that I didn't want to have sex. What if I wasn't able to push you?" My voice breaks. "What would've happened?"

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Then let's say you didn't that day. What about last week? After the whole dress situation." He stays quiet. "Matt, you forced yourself on me." My whisper lingers in the room.

"Are you calling me a rapist?" His voice is filled with disgust and disbelief. "You're out of your mind, Allie." He laughs. "I am not a rapist!" I flinch with his scream. "Take it back, Allison!" He crosses the room and grabs my arm tightly.

"I didn't call you anything, Matthew. I only told you what happened."

"Take it back."

"We're done, Matt." I pull my arm out of his grasp. "I'm leaving." I grab my bag and walk towards his room to get my things.

I feel him grab me by the arm again and he slams me against the wall.

"Take it back." His face was so close to me that his nose was almost touching mine. I didn't reply. "Do it, Allison!" His hand grabs my throat and I can't breathe properly.

"Matt" I force it out. "It's too tight."

"Fuck that!" He screams in my face. "You are a little bitch, Allison. I should've known." He lets go of my neck and I gasp for air. "Now get the fuck out of my house." I stand still, leaning against the wall trying to get myself back together.

"I still need to get my things." I whisper.

"I can't look at you anymore." He grabs my neck again, but this time he doesn't push me on the wall. "I'm leaving. If I come back and you're still here, I'll fucking kill you." He pushes me back with such force, I trip and fall.

I feel my head hitting something and I see the front door closing before everything goes black.