Christine

I'm pacing back and forth growing more anxious with every passing second that she doesn't return. Lindsey is saying something about not worrying and that Katia will be back soon but I can't stand to listen. I'm worried. I continue to check my phone every few seconds. I try to call her again. It goes straight to voicemail. Just when I decide to go figure out what's going on, my phone rings. It's Kandace. She tells me something awful has happened.

I don't remember making my feet move. I can't recall how I drove myself to the hospital. People's faces are blurred out. I only have one thing on my mind. Find Katia. Where is Katia? I see Liv covered in blood. Her shaking hands are stained red. Her face and hair are smeared with blood. It's everywhere. There's so much. Liv is dressed as though she was on the way to our wedding. I rush to her but she's crying so bad nothing she's saying is making sense. Maybe she's in shock but I need to know what happened? "What happened?!" I ask her over and over but still nothing.

A doctor walks into the waiting room in scrubs stained identical to Liv's clothes. I grab her by the arm.

"I need to know what's going on with Katia Galanos.. uh Bell." I say stumbling over my words.

She grimaces, snatching her arm from me. "I can only speak to immediate family."

"I'm her wife. Just tell me what's going. Now." I demand but my voice is little. It sounds just as terrified as I feel.

She looks down at my wedding gown and frowns. "I'm sorry. We did everything we could for your wife, but it wasn't enough. The injuries she sustained..." she continues to talk but I can't hear any of it. I'm certain I'll die right here. I hope so. Then at least we'll be together again. I fall to the hard hospital floor and close my eyes. A blood curdling scream escapes my lips. It feels like I'll never be able to get up from this floor.

Days feel like seconds.

I don't speak.

I can't eat.

Days and nights run together. It's all darkness.

The funeral.

Graveside.

I begin to sob when suddenly someone tries to comfort me with a hug from behind.

"Chris," The voice says.

I don't say anything. I can't.

"Chris!" They say again but louder this time. They shake me.

I open my eyes and Katia is standing there against the darkness of the room. No. It's Kandace. I try hard to catch my breath but I can't. My eyes search the room. I don't remember where I am.

"Chris. Hey hey hey." Kandace coos grabbing my face gently. "Breathe baby." She whispers.

My cheeks are wet and the lump in my throat is only growing larger. I wipe the tears from my eyes and everything comes rushing back. I groan.

"You were crying in your sleep again." Kandace notifies me.

I sit up and the blanket falls from my shoulders. "Is she awake or talking? Anything?" I ask looking from Kandace over to Katia's bed, answering my own question. It's been five days since the accident. Contrary to what my dreams would have me believe, Katia didn't die. She survived the accident and made it through hours of surgery, but she hasn't opened her eyes since.

"Nothing yet." Kandace says sitting on the foot rest the hospital provided. She doesn't look like herself. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she's wearing a baseball cap. The t-shirt she has on is a size too big but goes well with the ratty jeans and sneakers she's sporting. She probably feels just as crappy as me. Katia would giggle if she saw her dressed this way, so different than the heels and mascara she usually wears.

"You should go home and get some real rest." Kandace says with her eyes fixed on Katia.

"I'm not leaving her." I say. I haven't left since I got here. I've been receiving clean clothes and food from Elizabeth and Lindsey for the last five days.

"I know." Kandace says. She looks so drained. The bags under her eyes have only gotten heavier since earlier.

"You should go home." I search the room to find the clock mounted on the wall. It's almost two in the morning. "You've been here all day without a wink of sleep."

"I don't want her to wake up and I'm not here." Kandace says quietly.

"You know Katia will understand. I'll call you as soon as she opens her eyes."

Kandace looks at me and fights back the tears in her sleepy eyes. "You promise?" She asks. I've never seen Kandace make herself so small. She reminds me of Katia so much in this moment. That only makes my heart ache more.

"I promise."

She nods and calls Clay to pick her. She kisses Katia's bandage covered head and leaves the room. I let out an audible sigh when we're alone and rush to take a shower. I do it quickly. With my luck Katia would wake while I was in the shower and freak out because she was alone. I won't let her think she's alone. Ever. Not even for a second.

When I get dried and dressed, I scoot my way onto the edge of her bed. I lie on my side, careful not to touch or pull on any of the many chords they have plugged into my baby. I rest my head on her pillow and grab her closest battered hand.

"I'm here, baby. Don't worry about a thing. Mama's got you." I whisper to her. "I know you heard the doctors but don't believe them. You'll be walking and talking just fine in no time. Not to mention dancing. They don't know how stubborn you are, but I do." I laugh a little even as tears threaten to fall from my eyes.

I'm met with silence of course. Just as I have been the last five days. It hasn't stopped me from talking to her though. I know she can hear me.

I clear my throat so she can't hear the pain in my voice. I don't want to stress her out anymore than she probably already is. "The doctor told me that hearing the voices of loved ones can improve the chances of coma patients waking up. I don't know if that's complete bullshit or not but I guess it's worth a shot. What do you think?" I ask.

I laugh imagining her answer. I'm not sure if I'm losing my mind or not but pretending she can answer me is helping me feel more sane than anything else.

"I shouldn't have let you go. I should have asked you to just stay. Liv would have gotten there eventually." I mumble.

I know she would scold me for blaming myself. She would tell me that I couldn't have known this would happen.

"I know. I know but it's my job to keep you safe. You're my baby. Now look at you." I say gently rubbing her hand.

The door opens and two nurses walk in. I quickly wipe the tears from my face and sit up.

"Hi, honey. We're just here to get her vitals and make sure she's comfy." The smiley nurse says. She must have just gotten to work. I haven't seen her. The other nurse is a little less talkative, but I don't blame her. She's always here. When does she ever get to go home and rest?

I move out of their way and let them do their job. They change Katia's bandages and one of the little bags hanging by her bed. Not that I don't trust their skills but I can't help but to watch to make sure they're being as gentle as possible with my little flower. They finish up and leave us alone again. I crawl right back into my spot next to her. I turn the tv on and flip through the channels. I'm not really interested in watching anything but I figured she would appreciate the background sound so she could hear something other than me chatting her ears off. I stop for a second and there's this god awful show on that Katia likes. I can't stand it.

"Oh no. We're not watching this." I say aloud. "I don't care, Katia. The show is trash. It'll turn your big beautiful brain to mush."

I picture the frown she would give me in order to trap me into watching the show with her.

"Tell you what, if we don't find anything else then we'll come back to it. How does that sound?" I ask. Giving myself permission to change the channel, I do so. I keep flipping hoping to find something we would both like so I don't have to make good on my promise of returning to that reality show. Then, like a sign from some sort of higher power, I see the movie Black Swan is playing. I stop it there and put the remote down. I smile and get as comfortable as I can beside my girl.

"Yeah I like this movie too, babe." I whisper.