Christine

Katia came home so upset. She stormed in and went straight to the studio. She danced to classical music the entire time. Which I've learned through experience is what she does when she's angry. I gave her some space and time to decompress before I decided to see what was wrong. I thought it was odd that her spirits were so low after a visit with Liv. After all, it had been so long since they last seen each other. I didn't think I would hear what she had to tell me when I asked. Katia said that Liv was in love with her. She told me that Liv kissed her. I asked if she liked it.

"Not really." Katia says looking at the ground.

"Not rea... Katia, What does not really mean?"

She looks up at me. "No. I mean no. I didn't." She sits on the edge of the bed and rests her head in the palm of her hands.

"Why didn't you tell me about the day she was drunk and told you the first time?" I ask.

"Because, I didn't think she meant it."

"But she did."

"Well I know that now, Chris." She snaps.

I sigh. I take a step back, out of my feelings, and I realize she doesn't need her girlfriend right now. She needs a friend. I squat between her legs and look up at her. "Okay. I know you're already upset. I'm sorry."

Tears fill her eyes and she nods. "I just don't understand why she would do that."

"I know."

"She called me selfish but, like, I would never in a million years tell her something like that if I knew she was happy with whoever she was with." Katia whispers through her tears.

I silently nod just to show her I'm listening.

"Now she's saying she doesn't want to be my friend or even talk to me. Like I did something to her or something. It's not fair!" Her voice raises a little. Her brow is knitted with anger and confusion. Hurt.

"I know it's not fair and probably really hard to understand but you kind of have to put yourself in her shoes. If we broke up and I started dating a new girl that became everything to me that you wanted to be, wouldn't it be hard to watch?"

"I'd suffer in silence." She mumbles.

"Everyone's not capable." I say.

She wipes her eyes. "I still would never.. confuse you like that. I wouldn't make you feel like you had to choose. And if she loved me half as much as she claimed she does then she wouldn't either."

It didn't occur to me that she was confused. I can't lie and say the scenario of her having to pick between Liv and I has never crossed my mine. It has. Several times. Especially in the beginning when things were fresh and I was insecure about my spot. However, the longer we dated the less I felt that way until eventually I never second guessed it. Though now, I'm feeling unsteady again. I swallow. "You feel like you have to choose between being with me or being with her?" I ask.

She nods.

Where does the confusion come in? Obviously she should be with me.

"I mean, it's not really a choice. I want to be with you. I choose you. I'm just confused on how or why she would make me do this?" Katia wipes the tears from her face.

"Maybe she'll come around. She's human. We say and do things we don't mean when we're upset." I try to comfort her.

Katia shrugs. "I don't know. I've never seen her so upset. She's never spoken to me that way."

I stand up and sit beside her on the bed. I'm not sure what else to say. There's probably nothing I can say right now to make her feel better. I couldn't imagine if Lindsey and I stopped talking.

She leans her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her. I hope for Katia's sake that Liv can get over this and they can be friends again.

_______

Christine

Katia and Liv still aren't talking. I honestly thought it was one of those arguments that would just blow over after everyone calmed down and realized how irrational they were being. I was wrong. Katia has been moping around the house. Yesterday I heard her crying in the shower. She doesn't know I heard her. She's been trying to be strong and hopeful but I know she's hurting.

I knock on the door and wait patiently.

Nothing.

I knock again. Harder this time before the door swings open. A messy haired Liv stands before me, sliding a shirt over her head.

"What? Do you want to fight or something?" She asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Do I look like Tori to you?" I ask.

Her lips twist to the side before she walks away leaving the door open. I follow her inside.

"Hey!" Liv says calls out towards her room. A girl I've never seen before comes shyly scooting forward. She gives me a small embarrassed smile.

"Hi." She says.

"Hello." I say back.

"We need some privacy. So I'll call you." Liv says distantly.

The girl looks at me then back at Liv before stepping a little closer to her. "You don't have my number."

"So we'll see each other around." Liv shrugs.

The girl huffs before grabbing her keys and dismissing herself. Liv sits on the couch and folds her arms.

"So what's up, Miss Bell?"

I chuckle dryly. "Are we back to that?" I ask. I remain standing.

She looks away from me. "What do you want?"

"To check on you. You're obviously not well."

"I'm fine. Did Katia send you here?" She asks.

"No." I answer.

"Of course she didn't. That would mean she had to care."

"Actually she's been too busy moping around and crying to ask me anything."

Liv's eyebrows rise and her eyes soften just a bit. "She's that upset?"

"Yes and I know you can't be that happy not talking to your best friend."

"Well obviously not but I'm not happy when I'm talking to her either." Whatever empathic feelings Liv just had are now gone. Her eyes are back to glaring at me. "Do you know what it feels like to get your heart broken every day? Go to sleep just to let it heal so you can do the same thing tomorrow?"

I sigh. "Yes, actually."

Liv nods. "So you know how bad it sucks. I don't want to do it anymore." Her brow is still furrowed and her lips are bent into a frown but her eyes have gotten glossy.

"We make sacrifices for the people we love. It's not always about you."

"This time it is."

We quietly stare at each other. It's clear that Liv has her mind made up about this.

"If Katia and I broke up, would you be her friend again?" I ask.

"No. She still..." Liv pauses and bites the inside of her lip before spitting out the words, "chose you over me. I won't ever forgive her for that."

"Okay." I say softly. I know how sad that would make Katia if she heard Liv say that and that makes me sad. I hurt for her.

Liv rolls her eyes and looks at the ground. "And I'm sorry for doing what I did."

"I get it. I'm not mad at you and neither is Katia. Whenever you decide that you do forgive her, because you will eventually, she'll be waiting for you."

Liv sighs and looks the opposite way of where I'm standing.

"Bye Liv."

She doesn't say anything. She doesn't even look my way. She just nods her head. I leave with the disappointing feeling of failure weighting heavy on my shoulders. I just wanted to make this right for my girl.

___________________________________________

Katia

It has been over a month since my fall out with Liv and true to her word, she has not said a thing to me. I've seen her maybe three or four times in passing. She doesn't wave or smile. Nothing. Of course at first it was devastating. I texted and called her to no avail but now I guess I'll have to learn to live without her. It's still hard some days. Whenever I have good news I want to tell her. Whenever an old memory comes to mind I want to laugh with her about it but I can't. It sucks.

Kandace says these things take time and not to worry about it. She thinks we'll be friends again by the summer. I hope she's right. Though we're the exact same age sometimes it feels like she's so much older and wiser than me. I guess because we've had such different lives. She probably had to grow up a lot faster than I did. She doesn't really talk about the time between when she left home and now but I know it couldn't have all been good.

Despite the loss of my best friend, everything else in life is going well. I'm healthy, mentally and physically. My grades are better than they have ever been. I wouldn't say my relationship with my parents is the best but it's certainly better than it was. I've decided to work on forgiving them both and moving on. Eve said I can't let the weight of their bad decisions weigh me down forever and she's right. I'm happy, healthy, and I'm currently on a date with Mistress right now. We just left the theater. There was a performance there that I had never heard of but it was beautiful. I'm happy she introduced me to it. She said we're going to dinner now but we have to make a stop first.

"Did you enjoy the show?" She asks gently kneading the steering wheel. All evening she's seemed a little tense. Not angry or anything. Just tense, even for her. Normally when it's just us, she's a little more relaxed.

"I really did. Thank you for taking me. When you said you had a surprise for me I didn't think it was that."

She chuckles softly. "I'm glad you liked it. It's one of my favorites."

"Mistress, are you okay?" I ask reaching across the console to close the small distance between us. I rest my hand on her thigh.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem tense. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Her eyes dart from the road to me then back to the road. She clears her throat. "No. I'm fine. Are you Okay?"

"A little hungry but yes."

She smiles.

I turn my attention back to the road and realize we're headed towards my school. "Why are we here?"

"You'll see." She says with a small smirk.

Now I'm beginning to think that maybe the ballet wasn't my surprise. Maybe whatever is awaiting inside the school is. Just maybe it's Liv standing there with an apology letter and my favorite candy bar. No, that would be too good to be true.

I'm riddled with suspense as she leads me to the studio. When we open the door there are candles and rose petals shaped in a heart. There's a quilt in the center with our first initials embroidered on it. Its actually the cutest thing I've ever seen but why?

"Wha-how.. when did you even have time to do this? Why?" I ask looking around. There's a song faintly playing in the background. It's familiar. Oddly comforting. I recognize it now. It's the song she danced to that night she found me in the studio. I think my heart may burst from being overwhelmed.

She smiles. "A little help from a friend or two." She pulls me to the middle of the heart and holds my hands.

"It's so pretty. I love it but why are we here?" I ask.

"Because something really beautiful started here."

I smile. "Like what?"

"Well this is the first place I've ever danced for you. It's the place I realized I wanted something more with you." She chuckles. "The place you borderline cornered me and told me you wanted to sleep with me."

I laugh, half embarrassed. "Oh you mean right before you got mad and stormed away."

She smiles. "Yes. You scared me."

My mouth hangs open. "I scared you??"

"You did. I was already so enthralled. It was like you could sense it. It made me nervous."

I kiss her. "I would have never guessed."

She smiles. "The more I watched you dance the more I fell in love with you, your determination, your resilience, and grace. Then the more I loved you, the more I realized I never wanted to be without you. Katia, you add so much happiness and love to my life. As I've gotten to know you, I've discovered parts of myself that I would have never guessed were there. I love everything about you, even the things you're not crazy about."

I chuckle but my heart starts hammering away at my chest and every butterfly in my stomach has taken flight.

"You make me a better person and there's not a thing I wouldn't do to make your life better. There's not a day that goes by that I don't want to be by your side and there never will be..." she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the most beautiful diamond ring I've ever seen. Time feels like it has stopped. My feet can no longer feel the ground. She drops down on one knee. "Will you-"

"Yes... yes!" I shout before she can even complete the question.

She smiles widely. "Katia, I didn't get to fin-"

I bend down and kiss her. Cutting her off again. I know it's rude but I can't help it. I'm so overwhelmed with emotions, I can't control myself. Her hands begin to wander and before I know it we're rolling on the ground kissing and grouping each other. She undresses me and kisses every inch of me. Her tongue makes loves to my body, bringing me to climax over and over. I touch her too. My fiancé. I'm making love to my future wife. It turns me on just thinking about the words coming out of my mouth. I never thought I'd be the type. I kiss her as she reaches her orgasm. I love the way she moans into my mouth.

"I love you so much." I say after I catch my breath.

She picks up the ring that she dropped in the midst of our rolling around and slides it on my finger. "I love you more."

__________________________________________

Christine