Turns out it was a Saturday. My body clock had been so messed up since the nights that shall not be mentioned that I didn't even know what day it was in Spain.

Alongside that, it was holidays here. Albeit, I was a supposed 'doctor', but thankfully we still had holidays since we were just students. One week was more than enough for me to regain my health.

I'd went to the Mukhtar's early in the morning and stupidly, on my behalf, Lameesa informed me holidays had begun. I was shell shocked for the first couple of minutes, trying to process what was going on, until I dumbly laughed it off.

My embarrassment was through the roof as she decided to laugh at my expense.

"We were thinking of going Valencia for a few days. Apparently the weather's going to be really good" she exclaimed excitedly and in that moment, I wish I shared her enthusiasm. But, for some reason, Jimena entered my mind.

I now technically had responsibilities. It just felt so wrong to leave her here whilst I would enjoy a good week off. So with that it mind, I gave Lameesa an answer.

"I would have loved to Lami, but I've been missing so many days off from hospital and plus, I need to prepare for my assignment on hospital placement" I grimaced, feeling bad as a dejected look washed across her countenance.

"It's okay" she sighed after a couple moments of silence. "It's understandable, but still, that doesn't mean I'm not letting you off the hook. You. Me. Late night adventure before you go back to England. Deal?" She held out her pinky as her squinted eyes watched me closely.

I grinned at the notion, seeing no wrong in just a girls night out.

"Fine deal" I clasped my own pinky with hers, a promise being set into play.

A few days passed before the Mukhtars were leaving their home. They were going to enjoy a family vacation to Valencia and despite how much every member of the Mukhtar household practically pleaded and begged me to go with them right till the very second-actually emotionally back mailed me to go with them-my answer was still the same.

Out of despair and annoyance, Sajdah banged her foot against the floor and crossed her arms, all the while supporting a pout.

"You're no fun sister Barakah!" She exclaimed. I couldn't help but giggle at her tactic, but eventually that came to a halt when both the twins ganged up on me and practically ran around the house, antagonising me. Safe to say, never get on the bad side of twins.

I've learned my lesson.

"Yallah habibti, there's still some time left until the bus leaves. Come on. You can wear Lameesa's clothes, yalla" she chastised, looking at me with a serious face, all the while making a 'tsk' sound, with her lips clasped together as if talking to a baby. I would have cracked under the pressure, but by some unasked prayer God cleared my way in the form of uncle.

"Ya hayati, if the girl has work then let her be. She can come another time, right daughter" uncle focused his attention on me after somewhat calming down his wife. I looked at him with hope, nodding along eagerly.

"Yes. I promise I will make this up to you auntie, just please don't be mad" came my saddened voice. I truly felt sorry for declining so many times, but I had to catch up on a lot of things.

Auntie looked at me for many minutes, opening and closing her mouth to suggest once more, but eventually she yielded. A sigh of dejection crossed her countenance, much like Lameesa's own reaction.

"Na'm my child. But if anything like this ever occurs again, I will not listen to a word you say" I grinned in delight after the tense silence had been broken. "Come here" she motioned, crushing me against her.

The moment was over as we pulled apart from each other. We offered each other a sweet kiss on the cheeks before I moved to the girls.

"Next time, I promise"

"Yeah, I'll make sure you don't forget" exclaimed the twins in unison, causing them to look at each other with astonishment. I couldn't help but grin at their expressions.

Whilst auntie and uncle were distracted, I placed some money into each of the twins pockets.

"From me" I winked, placing a finger on my lips.

"Ummi, Barakah just gave the twins some money" came the shrill tone of Lameesa. I immediately stood up to my full height, not knowing what she was talking about. She looked at me as if to say, you deserve this for not joining us on our trip. I glared at her smirking face.

Auntie gasped in disbelief, ushering to the girls and glaring at them to give back the money. No words needed to be said in such a situation. The glare always spoke for itself.

I shook my head no as the girl's tried to give the money back. If I wasn't so serious, I would have laughed at their attention being shifted back between me and their mother. Whom to listen to. The money provider or the money decliner.

It's life girl's, everyone figures this situation out by themselves.

"La, girls give back the money to sister now!" They both held out the money before them.

"No. Girls, this is from me to you since I cannot go with you" I exclaimed, shaking my head and firmly wrapping their hands over the cash.

"La Habibti, don-"

"Auntie" I cut her off. "I feel bad enough already for not going, so please don't make me feel more bad by refusing this money"

"Ya Barakah you don't have to do this"

"I wanted to" I smiled. " So please don't worry about anything. Have a wonderful time" I exclaimed, eyeing the taxi which would take them to the coach station. It's been waiting there patiently for the past five minutes.

"What did I do to deserve you. Be safe okay? Until I'm back, I want you to be safe and sound. Keep the keys close to yourself and check the eyepiece before opening the door and-"

"Ummi!" Exclaimed Lameesah in clear annoyance.

"We don't have time for this! The bus will leave in the next thirty minutes"

I chuckled at the sight, ushering them to the taxi. Once the final few suitcases were put away into the car, I bid my farewells.

"Assalamualaikum, be safe please"

"You too, daughter, now hurry along" faded uncle's voice pointing towards the door. Once their waving hands were out of sight, I quickly entered the house and locked the door behind me.

Just then, my phone rang. I knew exactly who it was.

"Hola mi amor" came the dulcet of Rafael. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, but I tried to ignore them and replied in a serious tone.

"Hi Rafael. What's up?" Why did I just say? What's up? I bit my lips in embarrassment, wishing I'd never said those words. His chuckle traveled through the phone, easing some of my tension whilst simultaneously adding onto my embarrassment.

"Do you really want to know?" I could sense the mischief in his tone, which confused me. He carried on. "Its not thinking of going down anytime soon. Looks like I'll have to get my hands dirty" I gasped at the innuendo as his laughter ringed through the phone.

"No-no! I do not want to know actually!" Gosh this couldn't have gotten any worse.

"Why it's my enemies of course. The numbers keep rising. They have to be dealt with instantly" he replied back in all seriousness, but I could hear the smile in his voice. He was pulling my leg. Or was he?

My grin vanished the second I thought about how he'd "deal" with his enemies. There was silence for a few minutes, my thoughts too absorbed in the future. The what ifs. Suddenly he spoke out first.

"My dear, grab your things and come to me. My driver should be outside"

Shocked, I looked out the window and sure enough a Range Rover was parked before the house. How did he know! He seems to have known what I was thinking as he replied back almost instantly.

"How could I not know what my in-laws are up to, darling" he'd inquired inquisitively. I blushed, rolling my eyes. Of course you do, Rafael.

Soon enough, I'd ended the call and ran upstairs to grab a couple of clothes, but then I decided against the idea. He'd told me specifically to not bring with me any clothes and just myself. I wouldn't stay for long. I'd come back in the morning soon enough.

I got in the car, my mind and heart racing faster than the car's speed. Ever since yesterday, an immense shift in my attitude towards Rafael emerged. I don't know how to explain it, but I no longer viewed him as the devil's reincarnate. He'd shown me a side of himself which I'd never seen before.

He'd shown me that he was human. He had the same feelings as any one of us. It's just that he excelled in hiding those behind a mask of indifference and cold demeanor.

With these thoughts in mind, time passed and we'd arrived at the mansion. Despite the number of times I'd seen this, I couldn't help but think how extraordinary it was. I was always left gobsmacked.

A maid opened the door, and walked me to Rafael's office. A deep mumble was heard before she opened the door, waiting for me to enter. I went to sit on the chair, and soon enough, the door was shut behind me.

"How are you, dear?" He asked, looking through a manila folder.

"Good" I managed to breath out, flustered. Moving about on the seat,

"Rafael"

"Mi amore" we both said simultaneously.

"You go first" I exclaimed, to which he denied.

I heaved a huge breath before exhaling. How do I bring about this matter with him?

"You know, killing is forbidden in Islam, right?" I waited for his reply, but nothing came. He looked at me calmly, not the bit fazed by where this conversation was leading to.

I continued on. "And since your a Muslim, it's forbidden to kill others" with each passing second, I could feel my tone diminish into a whisper. There was a long silence. The air was awkward, yet it shouldn't have been.

This matter was very personal to my heart, and I could not stand the idea of innocent people dying. Especially not now when Rafael was digging his grave for himself and I was the one whom allowed that. His wife.

If anything happened, I would only watch him in ruins. My heart could not fathom the idea, yet my mind, my mind conjured up the worst possibilities and accepted it as reality. But still, I could try this once. Make him step back from all this and live a peaceful life.

No killing. No violence. No enemies. Just peace. Us. Any fragments of our future we could have clasped.

I could only pray.

"Hmm" he'd responded back after many moments of silence. A cigarette was lit between his fingers, something I'd failed to notice before. He brought the tip to his mouth, inhaling a lungful of the stick and exhaling from the side of his mouth, not completely opening it.

It looked mesmerising.

His eyes were on me the whole time, and I couldn't help but gulp. It happened without any control, much to my embarrassment. Suddenly, the shrilling of a call went off. It was Rafael's phone.

He answered the call, greeting the person in Spanish. The bud was resting against his plump lips, as he pulled out another phone from his pocket and stated typing something down.

His brows were furrowed over and his shoulders were sturdy. Rigid even. As if he was stressed about something. I gulped, looking at his frame and how sinisterly powerful he looked in that moment. The shirt stretched across his broad shoulders over the slightest movement from him.

He turned around, revealing an entire different Rafael to me. I looked carefully at something peeking from his neck. My eyes widened and a loud gasp was heard, as I eyed the tattoo with both astonishment and amazement.

Neck tattoos. I was a sucker for them. I couldn't make out the design, except that ink reached across his neck and clasped around it as if branding its territory. Like a vine plant.

I immediately reverted my gaze to the table before me the moment he switched off the call and turned around. I glanced at him nervously, my hands sweaty against my thighs.

"You're right" he exclaimed, coming to stand behind me. My back subconsciously straightened at the matter.

"Killing is forbidden, in all religions in all morals. But" he began, leaning down towards my ear, meanwhile his arm reached round me as he pushed the bud into the ashtray. Thankfully there was a fabric between us, otherwise only god knew what he would have done.

"Don't you think killing the wrong people has made the world a safer place? If the enemies continued with their plan, then would we be here, today, discussing whether murder is right or wrong" I gulped for the nth time. His breath fanned over my face, making my senses high on alert.

"You don't have to agree with me, my love" he exclaimed, pulling away from the chair upon my silence. "But do know that everyone has a price to pay, many die for others to live. Everyone's done something to deserve their consequences" he'd ended looking down at me.

I never thought about death or the killing of someone in such a way. That in order for some to live, others had to die. My mind couldn't comprehend killing anyone even if they were my worst enemy.

But of course, who was I kidding. My life and Rafael's life were galaxies apart. In his world, one must kill to survive, otherwise you'd become the prey. The collateral.

Like he said, everyone has a price to pay. If there was something I could have changed, It would have been to meet Rafael in different circumstances. To never have done what I did.

___