《Lose Myself》Chapter Thirty-Six: Bad Decisions
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I rolled over, I hadn't slept in this bed for so long. It was hard to imagine where I was with my eyes closed, I didn't think I'd ever be back here.
If I was being honest, I didn't enjoy my time here. I wanted to be with Amara - wherever she went because it was always interesting and entertaining being around her. She was bubbly and alive, its was inspiring.
Speaking of which, I'd forgotten to pass by her apartment so that would be one of the things I do today. Alongside hiring a new assistant.
Tonight I'll go home.
--
"Welcome back." Sierra smiled from behind the counter, I sent a brief smile her way and continued into the office.
Marcello was late.
I put some things into folders, labelling them and dating them. So that the bastard didn't mess up as easily, he was so unorganised and appeared to have no sense of direction.
I heard the click of the door as Marcello walked. "I saw the line of hot babes outside and just had to join, what is this?"
"We're interviewing for a new assistant. Hopefully someone reliable."
He sat down, flinging his jacket over his seat. "The last one was not reliable." he commented.
"Shut up, she left because of me." I growled. He's been talking sh-t since yesterday, he was tiring to be around. He just looked at me as the first girl walked in but his attentions soon shifted.
They were all bimbos. Hardly qualified as far as I was concerned.
It was morning, second morning and coming to be a third night without Dominic within ten metres of my body. How... frustrating.
I opened my eyes, the rest of my senses came to life and I soon became aware of my state.
I was shaking violently - abnormally, I felt cold as usual but certain parts of my body - my collar bone area, wrists, stomach and knees - were very hot. My heartbeat was very fast, I felt a need. I felt the need to hurt something, a lamp? Maybe a couch.
My fists felt untouched, needing something. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but the worst came to mind - maybe I wanted to hurt people? I've had the urge before but never so... consciously. I wasn't going to fight it, I didn't like the restricting feeling I had all over me. I wanted to test a hypothesis of mine.
I stood speaking to no one, "Exhibit A." I scratched my nose, "If I were to do something ...crazy, would Dominic come back?"
There was only one way to find out. I was already halfway there.
I closed my eyes, I could visualise a bubble that blocked me from my core. I focused on letting myself go, watching it crumble apart and instantly I felt lighter.
I loved flushing away the control. The regiment way of life I'd had.
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I was finally free. Free to forget. To play for fun.
To play crazy.
The fifth girl walked out, I turned to the bastard. "You can't hire someone simply for their good looks."
He quit staring dreamily at the door, "Why not? Isn't that what you did?"
"She didn't work for this company! You're confused. She was an interior designer hired for the one project, she didn't have to stick around with you. I can see why a person wouldn't want to." I was very frustrated.
He put his hands out, "Sorry man, maybe you should take a break."
"And leave you to choose some bimbo for the job?" I stood.
"I won't, you can come back and check later and you'll see!" he shouted after me as I started walking towards the door.
"I don't give a f-ck."
I ignored the lusty female eyes that followed my figure as I headed for the elevator, I hadn't known how irritating people who aren't Amara could be.
They were very irritating.
I left my hair out, shrugged on a pair of shredded shorts and a midriff crop top that read 'I'm not fluent in idiot. So please speak slowly & clearly.'
I'd stored a couple knives in it.
After slipping on some ankle boots and applying blood red lipstick, I opened the door.
What game shall we play?
I slid out into the hall, shoving my hands into the back pockets of my shorts and walking in my most casual manner.
Leo wasn't so lucky today, he was coming up the stairs as I came to greet him.
"Nice shirt." he pointed to the white writing.
"Thank you." I shrugged, jiggling a little. "It's what I think half the time I'm in here."
"You know you're not trapped Amara?"
"What do you mean?"
"You can come and g-"
I grabbed his arm, "Let's play."
"I - uh - actually have to get going." he stumbled as I tugged his arm.
I spun around bringing a small blade to his stomach, to my surprise he saw it coming and grabbed the arm before I could hurt him. The sound of a button being pushed reminded me of the signal guards in the house could make, they'd click a button sending off their signal and within seconds multiple men would be in one place - ready to take you down.
Where was the trust?
I grinned in his face releasing my other arm and punching him the face, his slight falter allowing me to break free. I jumped in the air, bringing my left leg to strike him straight across his right cheek. He hit the wall, I grabbed his hair.
"I'm going to cut it off." I sang. Leo spat blood onto the floor sending me a glare from under his lashes, I smiled. "Come on, we're just playing. You're a poor sport." Before I moved to chop the chunk I felt a sharp sting in my right thigh, I looked down to find a tranquilliser dart stuck into my muscle. "F-ck you." I said before I felt my mouth go numb.
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I exited out the front of the building, heading for the nearby coffee shop. I hadn't had a strong coffee in a long while - my mom wasn't a huge fan of caffeine.
I ordered my coffee and sat near the window, ignoring the paparazzi taking photos of me. I was no longer in Germany so my need to keep my location a secret was no longer applicable.
I pulled out my phone and started writing in my notes, just a bunch of things I didn't want to forget to go over with Marcello, over the phone next week.
I watched from my spot in the armchair as Santo told the men to take her to the 3rd house and put her in the observation room. Sick bastard. She was just feeling miserable, Dominic left and no one knew the reason. We can't blame her for thinking the worst.
"Look at this," Santo held up a mobile device and on it were pictures of Dominic, "People are spotting him all over the place in New York City. It's become big talk."
I removed the ice from my face, "Looks like my assuming no one knew were he was, was my speaking too soon." I muttered.
"You're buff." I commented, "You work out?"
I was being escorted by three guys, two of them held my arms and the third held a gun to my back. So comfortable, I loved it. Felt like home.
No one replied to me. "You know," I wiggled my nose, "I'm not that heavy, I'm sure one of you could've carried me. You guys think I'm fat?"
I'm very fit, it could be muscle density. Because I'm so buff and tough.
"I can see it in your eyes!" I stared into the eye of the guy to my right, "You think I'm fat!"
He thinks I'm fat, I know it. He probably likes bone thin women like Clarissa.
A door was opened, inside was a room much like an interrogation room - much like the one from the institution but it was much more like a cell. Like jail or something. I watched as I was pushed forward, like a cat I land on my feet. But they closed the door behind me as I congratulated myself for staying upright. I missed my chance at escape. Damn it.
I'll just wait for Dominic then.
"Amara." I heard Leo's voice sounding through what sounded like an intercom.
"Hi." I smiled. There was a mirror next to the door, which I knew was just fake mirror that I couldn't see through but they could see me.
"What are you doing?"
I giggled. He sounded oh-so-serious.
"Tell me. What do you think you're doing?"
I walked to the mirror, I found the middle and pulled up one of the two chairs in the room. "Hmm." I scratched my chin playfully.
"If I tell you," I started loud then lowered my voice to a whisper, getting real close to the glass and pulling a serious face, "Will you play with me?"
"Amara." He was getting tired.
"A real game this time!" I bounced.
She was clearly insane, off her rockers.
"Write down every answer she gives to any questions." I heard Santo instruct one of the monitor guys.
"This isn't an experiment Santo." I turned to him, releasing the button that allowed Amara to hear.
He turned to me, "You will do as I say, or leave and find your buddy. Either way she will give us good results." he looked to her, "I didn't think I'd ever get to see the legendary stories play out in front of me. She has a history of being unorthodox."
I watched him turn casually and exit the monitor room, the three other guys in the room keeping their heads down. No one in this entire estate would dare say a word back to Santo, even his wife knew better.
I turned back to Amara, she sat backwards on a chair and examined her hair. I pressed the intercom immediately catching her attention. She broke into a broad smile.
"Amara. Just sober up and reason with me here." I sighed. "You're acting crazy."
"Yes Leo," She stood coming closer to the mirror, "I am unique."
She was acting like I was stupid.
I tried to be stern, "You need to stop acting like this."
"You know what, sometimes I pretend to be normal. But let me tell you, it gets boring." she sat down, "So I go back to being me. This is me."
I hadn't seen Amara all day and it was nearing time for dinner, I'd checked her room multiple times. I'd even looked around and nothing was missing, her coat and even Dominic's were still here.
They weren't both pulling the disappearing act were they?
I sat in the living room along with most of the women from the familia, my father walked through the door and instantly mom rose and went to him. I watched her ask him something and him reply then look at everyone - stopping briefly on me then leaving.
My mom turned to face us with her hands clasped in front of her, "Amara went looking for Dominic."
"Impossible." I stood, "I checked her room many times, her stuff is still there."
"She doesn't need stuff to go looking," my mother replied sternly, "She was spotted leaving this morning, the guards simply let her go at your father's request."
I huffed, crossing my arms and plopping back into my seat. She was insane for even thinking of going without weapons.
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