I stand there frozen.

I can't move. I can't breathe because I'm afraid that even the slightest movement and he'll disappear.

"Go." Rebecca says,"Go get him."

He's here.

He's really here.

Please, please let this not be a dream.

I take one step forward still unsure, still breathless, still afraid that he'll just vanish breaking me into pieces all over again.

I take another step forward and at this point I'm already drenched but I don't care.

Another step.

He's still here.

Another step.

And then I'm running.

I'm running and I'm stumbling over my dress barely managing to see through the rain. I'm running over the wet grass, across the field not giving a damn that my entire dress was ruined and I probably looked like a mess.

He came back.

He came back to me.

I slam into him so hard that I send the both of us tumbling to the ground with me on top of Jake.

"Clara Wilson, you somehow manage to sweep me off my feet every time I see you." He says grinning. I look at him taking him all in, his bright green eyes and his black hair matted from the rain. He smells like honeydew and rain and his hands are around my waist like the belong there.

They do.

"You're here." I say softly, still not quite believing it, "You're really here."

"I shouldn't be." He says as he gently pushes my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear,"But since we both know I'm a selfish bastard who can't stay away from you-

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and kiss me already."

And he does.

It's the kind of kiss that takes my breath away, the kind that's intoxicating, the kind that's addictive, longing and absolutely devastating at the same time.

I don't how long we kiss, it could have been a minute or forever, but when we finally break apart to catch our breaths, I roll over to the side so that I'm lying next to him on the ground looking up at the sky.

"Yeah." I finally say still panting slightly,"You're definitely here."

I can hear him chuckle as he stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up to my feet and somehow we end up kissing again.

It's like the first one, longing deep and-

"Hey losers!"

I break away and turn around to see Rebecca standing at the door with what seems to be our entire grade behind her. They are all standing behind her staring at us like we are on display. Sally Timberlake is already scribbling something in her notebook to put in the graduation edition of the Gossip Review.

Some things never change.

"Go get a room!" Rebecca yells but she's smiling so wide that it looks like she's going to dissolve with happiness. A few people behind her snicker and Rebecca turns towards them.

"And all of you scram!" She says,"Don't you have anything better to do?"

Almost immediately everyone scatters in different directions and Rebecca gives me one last smile before turning around and closing the door behind her.

"You're friend is one of a kind." Jake comments looking at me and I laugh.

"I know." I say and turn towards him,"Can we get out of here?"

He smiles,"I thought you'd never ask."

______________

By the time we reach the dock, the rain has eased up so much so that it's only drizzling. Not that it matters, the rain had stopped bothering me a long time ago.

The drive there was short and it was spent in silence. We didn't talk at all but it wasn't awkward. I held Jake's hand through out gripping it tightly, convincing myself that if I held on to him tightly enough he wouldn't disappear.

Maybe I didn't say anything because I knew just how much shit we would have to deal with if I opened my mouth, if I started to think about everything that had happened. My fake bubble of happiness would dissolve into nothing.

"Remember our kiss here?" I ask as I quickly remove my shoes and swing my legs over the edge of the dock so that my toes skim over the water.

"Couldn't forget it even if I tried." He says.

"I was terrified after that kiss." I admit, "I was terrified because I realized at that point that there was a part of me that really really liked you."

"Well it was only a matter of time till you fell for my incredibly good looks and charm." He jokes siting down next to me. I lean into him and he wraps his hands around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. I take a deep breath in and for the first time in two months I feel the knot in my chest dissolve.

"Oh please Henderson." I say, "You have no charm."

"That's not true and you know it." He says, "I mean look at me. I'm adorable."

I smile, "Keep telling yourself that won't you?"

"Why should I?" He asks, "You're there to do it for me."

A silence settles between us as we realize that we can't run away from everything for much longer.

I want to.

But I can't.

"How about we take turns with the questions?" Jake suggests slowly and I nod.

I start, "Do you think we can pretend for a little longer that we don't have to talk about everything? That we are not ridiculously complicated?"

"I want to." He answers after some time, "But we both know that-"

"-we can't." I finish for him. I sigh, "I know. Wishful thinking I suppose. Your turn."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm up." I say,"So I suppose I'm holding up alright. I mean it's a freaking miracle but I am trying. It's hard to watch a person that you love die and all you're allowed to do is stand on the sidelines and watch. But I'm holding up. I'm fine."

"You don't have to be fine with this, you know that." He says,"No one is asking you to be fine with it."

"I have to be fine with it." I say,"How else am I going to survive it? I have to be fine with my grandmother's decision and I have to be fine with the fact that you're probably going to leave again because if I am not, if I can't even pretend then I'm never going to survive it."

"You're the strongest person I've ever met." He says,"I know you'll find a way."

"I'm not so sure." I say,"But I'm trying."

He pulls me closer and tucks me into him in such a manner that my head is against his chest and his chin rests on the top of my head.

"You're going to get through this, I promise." He murmurs.

"You're such a good liar, I might just believe you." I say.

"Good." He says.

"Just please don't make me hate you again just so that I can stay away from you." I say,"I can survive loving you but hating you is something that I just can't do."

"Do you wish sometimes that you could?" He asks,"Hate me, that is?"

I ignore his question,"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." He says, "After graduation. After all I wouldn't want to miss you in your wonderful yellow graduation robes."

"Ugh. Don't remind me." I say.

"I quite like yellow on you." He says, "It's the color of the dress you wore when we went to the top of the Empire State Building."

I smile, "Yup. You're probably the only one who doesn't shrivel at the sight. That color is hideous. Especially on me. And what happened to you graduating?"

He shrugs, "I already have. Took a private tutor for it and finished all of it in under two weeks. Turns out when you have the money you can do-"

He breaks of all of a sudden, his voice cracking.

I pull away from him a little bit to see what's wrong and Jake has his eyes shut tightly as if he's trying to will something to go away.

"What's wrong?"

He takes a deep breath in, "Before I met you all I ever wanted was to distance myself from my father. I didn't want to be like him. Not even a little bit, not even at all. But then when you came and I realized that it's you I wanted the most, I accepted the fact you can only want one thing at a time. I just wonder sometimes while wanting you so badly, I became like him. I even sound like him at times."

When you have money you can do anything.

I take his face in between my palms gently, "You're nothing like him. You will never be anything like him because you're kind, you're and you're the boy I'm totally and utterly in love with you."

"That night-"

This time it's my chance to pull away from which makes him stop. A horrible wave of guilt washes over me as I remember whatever I'd said to him that night.

"I'm sorry for that night." I say,"You have no idea how-"

"I know." He says grabbing my hand and squeezing it twice,"I know."

"About Alec-"

"It's okay." He says,"I had some time to think about it and I realized I'm okay with it. I'm not going to tell Alec what he did because at least let someone remember him for the person he could be. Not the person he was."

"But I do wonder if it had been the other way around. Maybe I'd be different less damaged. I'd probably have made fewer mistakes." Jake says,"Then I'd probably still have you. I probably wouldn't have to let you go."

"You'll always have me." I say,"No matter what."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He says,"That I'll end up ruining you because I have you. Because you didn't give up on me."

I keep quiet for some time before I start,"When you were gone I fell apart. Rebecca helped. She always does. But I helped myself too. I told myself to be strong and move on. Maybe I didn't do as well as I hoped but I'm not fragile. You say I'm the strongest girl you've ever met and yet you don't believe that I can handle myself. I probably won't give up when you leave. I'd probably still be in love with you despite everything and I probably wouldn't survive the first few weeks. But then I'll pick up the pieces and I'll tell myself that I can do this because I am the strongest person you've ever met."

"Don't you wish you'd never met me?" He asks,"Life would be simpler."

"If loving you were easy Jake, things would be simpler. But you have to understand that I'm in love with you. I'm in love with all of you, the damaged and the broken bits."

"You shouldn't be." He says,"You should have run away a long time ago. Even you know that this was a mistake in the end, especially since it's going to end."

"Well then it's the best mistake I've made." I say,"And I'm not going to take back the fact that I love you. Sure this time around I'd probably kill Eric when I had the chance but no, apart from that I wouldn't change anything when it comes to us. Because I love you and not some perfect version of you."

I pause for a moment realizing how cheesy it sounded.

"I've been learning these cheesy dialogues from the best." I quickly say,"Rebecca is very good with putting feelings into words and laying it on thick."

Jake chuckles and we keep quiet for a while not saying anything until he finally breaks the silence,"I'm glad Rebecca got me back here. It's probably something I'm going to regret but I'm glad it happened none the less."

"I suppose she got so sick of me and my drama that she quite literally went to New York so she could have a break."

He smiles,"She really cares about you Clara, I'm just flattered to think that she thought I was the solution. But I should have known better than to come back, it's probably going to make things worse."

That was literally not possible.

"How did she convince you?"

"Something along the lines of that I could either go with her in peace or she'd ship me here in pieces."

I laugh,"Of course."

"But that wasn't the only reason." He says, She gave me this."

He opens his palm to reveal a small charm.

The charm I had picked up.

A tiny little house.

And then he opened his other hand where the entire charm bracelet lay, completely intact.

"How?" I ask,"It broke."

"I came back for it." He says,"I searched for this charm everywhere that day, I never thought you would have taken it."

"When Rebecca came to me with the charm, I didn't understand why you'd kept this one." He continues,"But now I think I do."

"It's not because I moved in next door to you." He says, "You took it because everything else represented our past. This was the only thing that could represent something from our future. Our future together, one that we won't have."

"I needed hope." I say,"Despite everything it gives me hope. It represents the fact that four years ago when you walked out I never thought I'd see you again, but you came back to me. You somehow tumbled back into my life and came to live next door. If it happened once before I'm hoping it will happen again."

He raises an eyebrow,"So we'd be living only next door to each other in the make believe future?"

"I think we'd be terrible living together." I say, "We'd be better neighbors. I mean love thy neighbors had to have come from somewhere."

"So I'd be Jake Henderson the boring old, guy next door?" He asks.

"I hardly doubt you'd be boring." I say, "But living together-"

"Well in your voicemail you didn't think living together would be that bad." He says.

I stop.

"You heard it?" I ask unsurely.

"Of course I did."

"Everyday I for the past two months I heard that voice mail." He continues, "Every day I would hear you talk about us and every day I would want to run back to you. But I couldn't. Because no matter how much I want you, I much I need you, I'm not going to be selfish with you. I am not going to be a coward when it comes to you. I am not going to be like my father."

"But don't you want it? That future together."

He smiles and takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through it before tapping it.

The message starts playing and my voice fills the night air which had stilled when the rain stopped.

"Hi." My voice on the phone starts.

There is a nervous chuckle after that, "That's a terrible way to start but I don't know what to say. Or more like where to begin."

"I love you." I say, "I know that I've told you this a million times but I need you to know that it's the realest thing I've ever felt and I love you. Only you. It's always been you since the start, I just forgot about it on the way. But I remember now, I know now."

"But more than anything I want to thank you and I want to say sorry." I say,"Thank you for protecting me even when you didn't have to. And I'm sorry for the things I said to you, for the things I kept from you. I just hope you realize that I thought what I was doing was right even though it wasn't."

"I just found your journal." The voice mail continues and I can hear the smile in my voice,"And your dorky video message where you're totally fangirling over me."

There is a pause before the recording starts again.

"Why didn't you tell me Jake?" My voice sounds pleading, "Why did you let yourself be painted as the villain of the story? I want- no need you to come back so I can say how sorry I am for ever doubting you, for ever forgetting you."

"But I'm scared that if you do come back, we'll just end up saying good bye again because even though you can't say it to me, you love me and the fact that you love me is what's driving you away. You somehow love me enough to be okay with the fact that as long as I'm okay, I'm not hurting, I can hate you. You love me so much that you're willing to convince yourself that you don't deserve me and that I should hate you."

"You say you're not my Prince Charming. And that's true. You've broken my heart more times than I count. You break my heart every time you smile, you break my hear every time you kiss me and you break my heart every time you leave just to protect me."

"In order to for me to fall for you, instead of just telling me the truth, you made me fake date you with the motive to make Alec jealous. You made me throw our relationship on Michella's face and because of you and I've been to jail too. No, you are definitely not Prince Charming. But that's just it isn't it?"

"You may not be my Prince Charming but you are my best shot at a happily ever after."

"And I know that you think that we can't be together. That the happily ever after doesn't exist. Maybe it doesn't, not for us but I need to hope. I can't handle another goodbye."

"I don't want to say another goodbye." I say,"I want to pretend that we have our entire life ahead to spend with each other, so that's what I'm going to do. Pretend that we have a future. Together. Pretend that our happily ever after isn't that much of a dream after all."

"For starters we'd wake up next to each other." I say,"You'd give me that heartbreaking sleepy smile in the morning and probably tell me that I look beautiful even though my hair is all over the place and I resemble something that looks like a raccoon."

"Then I'd go to brush and take a shower-"

Jake pauses the recording for a second.

"I'm not going to lie but I'd probably sneak in the shower with you even though you wouldn't want me there." He says.

I smile,"I'm not going to lie either, I'll always want you there even if I say otherwise."

He presses play.

"Then I would come down and complain about the mess you made in the kitchen while making breakfast and you'd tell me that it's an improvement from when I tried to make breakfast because I almost ended up burning our house down."

He laughs at that and the message continues to play.

"You would probably always keep the Nutella jar on the top shelf so that I wouldn't be able reach it. You'd always grab me by the waist and pick me up so I'd be able to reach it. I'd probably shout at you every time but you'd simply smile and say that it gave you an excuse to put your arms around me."

"We'd go to work in my car." The message continues, "You'd probably insult my driving and tell me that I was making you late for work but secretly you'd always let me drive because that meant we got be around each other for longer."

"And we'd kiss goodbye as I dropped you to your office and before going to mine I'd call my grandmother who would be perfectly alright and was probably going to live forever. And-"

My voice breaks and silence fills the air for a moment before my voice mail starts playing again.