The first day of school after spring break was chaos.

News of Jake leaving coupled with the break up rumors circulating around Rebecca and Jeremy had brought a school to an uproar.

And if that wasn't enough, I'd shown up to school with Natalie Anderson.

Or more accurately she had showed up to school with me.

She'd arrived at my house in the morning when I was about to leave looked quite hassled.Apparently her car refused to start and she'd missed the school bus and the only way to school was a ride with me.

She didn't look all too happy about it but considering the heels she was wearing I could see why she'd picked me over the option of walking to school.

Rumors were all over the place, and according to Rebecca most people thought that we were staging a John Tucker Must Die sort of scenario to take down Alec and Jeremy.

When I'd asked her what John Tucker Must Die was she'd immediately scheduled another sleepover where she promised she would bring the movie.

I was grateful for it because over the past couple of days Rebecca always found a reason to stay over and at times drag Samantha over so that I didn't have to be alone.

Things between Samantha and I were awkward which was understandable considering that we had not spoken to each other in a month and all of a sudden gone back to being friends.

Rebecca had also admitted that she was shocked I'd just forgiven Samantha like that and I had simply shrugged.

If I could let go of over four years of Natalie Anderson's constant bullying and endless abuse sessions, I could just as easily forgive Samantha over this.

It didn't bother me that she almost slept with Alec or kissed him or whatever. It didn't, not one bit.

After all in the end that's what made me stop and reevaluate my relationship with Alec.

I know it was pathetic considering the fact that this probably paled in comparison to the other shit he had done but it was what struck home.

I should have cared, I should have been mad that Samantha did this, I should have been mad at Alec. But I wasn't. I should have been biting back jealousy and spitting fire, like I had done when I used to think Jake had a crush on Ashley.

For some reason just the thought of Jake with anyone else made me sick. It was as if I couldn't physically get myself to accept him with any other girl.

But when it came to Alec, years of him doing the exact same thing, going through girls line they were nothing had me impervious to this, and it had been my poor judgment as well as ignorance to blindly call those girls sluts and God knows what else to justify his actions.

I had no right to do that. But thats what I had done to convince myself that Alec was in the clear. But he wasn't.

I'd spent years covering up for him in my eyes and after Jake he'd done the same for my indiscretions immediately blaming it on him.

That's not how it was supposed to be.

The only thing that had truly been hurt at the time of the fight with Samantha had been my ego and let's face it after everything in the past few months, my ego was my last priority.

Besides as far as I could tell Rebecca had dished out enough shit to Samantha to make her feel guilty enough.

Rebecca had started a blog like I'd asked her too. The both of us had struggled with it for an entire day setting it up. She was kind of hopeless when it came to computers and I was pathetic when it came to designs.

We kept on arguing until finally at two in the night we managed to put it up. It was actually a total mistake considering the fact that I had dropped the soda on the keyboard and Rebecca in an attempt to clean it had pressed enter and voila it was suddenly live.

She'd named it Just Ask Juliet. Why she picked the name I couldn't figure out and even she was a little vague as to why she'd suddenly come up with it.

But she was happy enough. She desperately needed a distraction, ignoring Jeremy got especially hard when she was staring at the ceiling doing absolutely nothing.

For my hobby, I read. One book in particular.

Despite reading it a billion times I couldn't get enough of it, his writing, his sarcastic remarks and the way it made me laugh and want to cry at the same time.

And then there was the obsessive checking of my phone because I was afraid that it would either be a doctor calling about my grandmother or I was hopeful that it would be Jake.

My health had spiralled down quite badly too, I couldn't sleep very well and I forgot to take my meds quite often.

If Rebecca didn't shove it down my throat and give me at least one slap a day and yelling at me to stop being this person but I'd probably give up everything all together entirely.

But it was killing me. It was honest to God killing me to keep the entire smiley,I'm completely okay with this charade for my grandma. I was trying to be strong for my grandma but the minute I left the room I could barely stay on my feet.

Rebecca knew about my grandma and as for what had happened with Jake, she didn't know exactly what had passed between the two of us, just something big enough that made the entire situation a whole lot more impossible.

Rebecca listened to all my shit and fixed me up the best she could. I felt incredibly guilty about it all but I had a feeling that Rebecca didn't mind. Just like it was my way to break apart it was her way to fix others to distract herself from everything that was

Rebecca clamped down on a number of things too, and whenever I asked her she became guarded and I wasn't going to push her. The last thing I needed was to push Rebecca away just because I couldn't keep help but poke my nose into someone else's business.

Besides, Rebecca was tough.

I on the other hand was a broken piece of china.

"You'd think people would have better things to do than pry into the lives of other people." Samantha says as she sits next to me in the cafeteria.

I shrug,"People are highly jobless."

"Yeah tell me about it." She says,"You'd think they would care little more about things that actually make a difference in the world. Not who broke up with whom and why."

"Fuck me." Rebecca says sitting on my other side.

I take a sniff and raise an eyebrow,"Why do you smell like bleach?"

"I had to hide out in the supply closet so Jeremy would stop following me." She says,"I spent five minutes there before I realized that I got locked in it. So I had to spend the rest of seventh in a cold dark janitors closet."

She shudders,"Never ever ever doing that again."

I laugh and Samantha says,"You know you could just confront him already."

"Uh. No." Rebecca says munching on her fries,"I don't intend on confronting him until I'm a hundred percent sure I'm not going to kill him."

"Killing him will do everyone a favor." I hear a voice say.

When I turn around I'm shocked to find Natalie Anderson standing there.

"Hi." Rebecca beams up to her,"Glad you considered my offer."

Samantha and I stare from Natalie to Rebecca and then back to Natalie. We share a look, what's going on here?

"If it's alright, can I sit with you guys?" She asks.

My mouth drops and Samantha is pretty much mirroring my expression. I can't help comparing how similar this all is to the start of the year when Natalie came up to me and randomly apologised.

In the end I found it was all an act just to get in on Alec's good books but this time something had changed.

For starters Natalie didn't have her posse with her which sent a pang of guilt through me when I realize just how much damage I'd done.

But the thing that really made a difference as compared to before was that unlike last time Natalie Anderson looked genuine.

"Of course." Rebecca says,"They don't mind do they?"

Rebecca turns to me and I shake my head,"No, I don't mind. Not at all."

"I still think she's a bitch." Samantha prompts.

"Says the girl who slept with her best friends boyfriend." Natalie offers.

"But she makes a surprisingly good argument, though." Samantha says,"And I did not sleep with him. Not recently."

Rebecca rolls her eyes,"Samantha is just jealous. If you bring the bitchy to the group she doesn't know what she has left to offer."

"Hey!" Samantha defends as Natalie sits down,"I bring my amazing sense of humor here."

I laugh and pat Samantha on the back,"There. There."

Rebecca grins,"Sure, Sam. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"You know, you guys are shitty friends." Samantha says but she's still has a smile on her face,"Natalie welcome to the hallowed cafeteria table at the edge of the world. Remember we wear pink on Wednesdays."

"Ha!" Rebecca says,"I know you liked Mean Girls!"

"No I didn't." Samantha denies quickly.

"Liar, Liar, Victoria's Secret Thongs on fire."Rebecca sings.

They start bickering and I turn towards Natalie who was quietly eating her food,"So what made you come here?"

Natalie shrugs,"Rebecca is very persuasive."

Rebecca nods,"Truer words have never been said. Besides I've already punched her, I'm over it. I'm so sick of this school trying to pitt girls against girls. Besides it was Jeremy who was dating me, not Natalie."

"I'm at fault too." Natalie says and for a second I can't quite comprehend that Natalie Anderson was actually admitting to her fault,"The recording-"

"It's okay Natalie." Rebecca interrupts,"I'm over this. It's not like we are going to be BFF's but I have nothing against you. I just hope the two hours I spent trying to make you understand that you're better than Jeremy worked."

"It did." Natalie says,"And I feel far better."

Rebecca sighs, content. She's probably just ticked it in her list of things and people to fix.

"Speak of the devil." Samantha says as Jeremy makes an entrance.

Rebecca pales,"Oh shit. I need to-"

I catch Rebecca's wrist on time,"Don't run. You're going to have to do it sooner or later. Come on Bex. You can do this."

"Of course I can do this." She hisses,"I just don't want-"

"Rebecca!" Jeremy's voice calls out.

She shuts her eyes and groans,"Oh kill me now."

"Come on Bex." I say,"Take your own advice for once."

Jeremy walks up to her at the moment and the entire cafeteria has gone quiet.

Rebecca is going to kill me for this.

"Rebecca-"

"Can we not do this here?" She asks. Her voice is weary but it doesn't shake or falter.

"Well you've been avoiding me for the past week so I have no bloody option now do I?" He asks.

"What do you want to talk about?" She says,"We are over. Done. Finished."

"Just like that?" He asks,"After six months we are over? Just like that?"

"Six months is nothing Jeremy, especially when you couldn't even keep it in your pants for that time." She says,"Do you honestly expect me to forgive you after you cheated on me? I'm sorry I have too much self respect for that."

"I'm sorry." He pleads,"It was a mistake."

"A mistake?" She laughs drily,"Did you slip on a banana peel or something?"

"Rebecca-"

"No." She says firmly,"I don't want to hear it. You cheated on me. That's the end of the story I'm not going-"

"For fucks sake, I did it only once." He says,"I didn't mean to cheat. You have to give me a second chance you know Natalie is a slut-"

And that's when Rebecca punches him right in the face.

Jeremy nearly loses his balance and tumbles back clutching his nose.

Ouch.

"Okay, I've tried taking the high road but I'm over it." She says,"Cheating is unforgivable and it doesn't show what a player you are. Fucking around with the hearts of people doesn't make you a God it makes you a pig."

"Stop being a coward and admit it that it's your fault." Rebecca seethes, "Stop blaming her and man up and accept the fact that in the end its on you."

"You played with Natalie's feelings and you've played with mine." She continues,"And you have no right to call her a slut. Newsflash Jeremy she wasn't the one who was dating me. She wasn't the one who should have said no. She was in love with you and you used her because you were pissed of drunk and I wasn't enough.We both loved you and you screwed us both over which means that you deserve to be alone."

"I am not a dog that you tell me to heel and I'm going to come running back to you." She says,"Nobody is at fault except you and I love myself too much to give you a second chance especially when I know that I deserve better than this."

"I love you."

"I-I-I loved you too." She falters for a second and for that brief moment I can see through Rebecca's calm but it vanishes quickly and its replaced by determination.

"But It's a privilege to love me, not a right." She says,"And you lost it the second you cheated on me. So yeah, we are over. For good."

And with that she turns and walks out of the cafeteria the crowd parting as she makes an exit.

For a second its deathly quiet in the cafeteria. No one moves, no one says a word, all of us looking the doorway through which Rebecca just left.

And then Natalie stands up and starts clapping.

And pretty soon everyone has joined her, all of clapping and cheering Rebecca's name.

I smile and clap as loudly as I can and Natalie glances over at me.

Although she doesn't say it out loud her amused smile and her glance says it all and for the first time in many many years I can't help agree with her.

Looks like Seaview High finally found it's true Queen.

_______________________

April and May flew by surprisingly quickly.

I finally stopped moaning about and being a pouty child who forgot to eat my meds and was too scared to be alone.

It took some getting used to and a couple (okay a lot) of slaps and pep talks from Rebecca's side to get to a place where I wasn't falling of a cliff, all the time.

I became more open with my grandma and instead of just pretending to be okay with this I finally started to come to terms with the fact that this was going to be the way it was.

It was hard, I still cried at least twice a day but it was getting better. Instead of focusing on all the things that would lie in the future I tried focusing on the other smaller parts like how my grandma could still manage to climb up the stairs faster than me (in my defence I'm too busy trying not to trip and die) or the fact that despite everything she was still the strongest person I knew.

Alec and I didn't talk. We saw each other in the hallways had awkward pauses as we contemplated whether we could say something, anything to each other.

Before one of us made a move the other would walk away and it would almost always be him.

I wanted to be friends, I wanted to be the kind of people we were with each other where he would tell me about his day and I'd tell him how much I had left to study.

Maybe we would never go back to that. We could never be the Alec Evans and Clara Wilson talking while sitting on their window sills. But I wanted to be friends even though I had no right to.

I had no right to give him the can we still be friends line. We had done too much to each other to recover in such a short span of time and I had to trust that things would pan out in course of time.

Natalie and I became friends. Sure we weren't going to be braiding each others hair anytime soon but it was none the less a start where we could have a civilized conversation without wanting to kill each other.

I started helping her with her studies and like Rebecca she tried to get me to start wearing things that according to her didn't make me look like ten year old homeless person on the street.

That's exactly why I needed Rebecca. Without her I would have definitely lost the battle against the two of them and I'd probably have to wear skirts and dresses which would mean that I'd flash at least a dozen people a day when I fell flat on my face because of the heels in my shoes.

Samantha and I went back to being the way we were. She still felt guilty but none the less we were back to our usual sleepovers and ganging up against Rebecca and her ridiculous ideals about love.

Rebecca, she became the glue that held everything together not breaking once or even bending for that fact. She was as put together as could be and everyone in school loved her.

She didn't go back to Jeremy but she didn't move on with anyone else either. She went back to her romance novels and her fangirling over fictional characters and she said she was content.

Her blog had been an instant success and she got at least two and half a million views already in the course of the two months. In fact, Samantha had recorded and put up her entire Jeremy fiasco and put it up on YouTube and it had nearly touched a million views in two days before it mysteriously got pulled from the net.

Our finals started and I studied my butt off. It was a great distraction and I was determined to do well. My acceptance letter from Cal-Tech had already come and I'd started the process to get in.

It wasn't too far away just an hour drive from here and I decided against taking a dorm there and commute everyday so I could be closer to grandma.

She'd probably kill me once she found out but I wasn't planning on telling her until all the applications for dorm rooms had been shut down.

It seemed like a legit plan.

And as for Jake..

I did my best to practice the out of sight and out of mind treatment. It had been two months and I'd heard nothing.

It wasn't as if I'd expect him to come back after everything that had happened but it still hurt. It was even worse than the last time, at least then I'd had a reason to hate him.

But the worst thing was that even if Jake did come back, Eric would always be a damn problem.

Talk about Ultimate cock blocker.

So now I was just stuck, gradually learning the fact that there was a very strong possibility that I would never be able to get over Jake Henderson.

The best I could hope for now was cats.

"It's over." Rebecca says,"Good Lord its finally done. Not that I really studied, I can just stop feeling guilty about it."

Our final exams had finally come to an end and now there was just five days left for graduation.

Thank God. I couldn't wait to get out of high school.

Rebecca would probably drag me to prom with her, I had promised her that I'd be her date and after that I was done. I was so so done with high school.

I'd been made valedictorian which meant that I got the great honor of boring people with a long inspirational speech that I didn't know how to write.

Brilliant.

I laugh as I pull over to her house,"Oh come on, it can't have been that bad."

"Ugh, no." She says,"Speak for yourself. You live for this shit I don't-"