Everybody has a way of losing it completely. Some people would probably get angry and punch something trying to take their anger out on something. Some people would go steely calm to a point they were almost numb not even realising what was happening around them.

And some people would have a complete meltdown crying and become a total mess.

And then there was the Clara Wilson way of losing it and it was a mixture of all three in the nastiest way possible.

"Clara?

Rebecca looks at me unsurely as she takes in my appearance, her eyes falling to the bracelet which I had clasped around my wrist.

I stand up wordlessly not saying anything. I don't know how I ended up back on the floor but to be perfectly honest but I didn't care.

In fact at this point I didn't care about anything.

"Ashley's here." She says,"They've gone to get the doctor so they can give her an update about him. You coming?"

She tried to keep her tone as light as possible but her uncertainty flickers through her voice. But even she knows better than to say his name in front of me right now.

I give her a curt nod and she carefully links her arm around mine but I tug it away.

She doesn't say anything and maybe it's because she's hurt but I can't get myself to actually find out. She guides me to what I could only presume as the waiting room.

I barely register who is there or what they are doing here before I'm enveloped by Ashley into a giant hug. I faintly realise that she's crying and saying something in mind tells me to hug her back.

But I just stand there and wait for her to be done.

"I've called Jeanine." She says pulling away," She's on her way. She's getting Mr Evans too, they are getting on the jet and coming immediately."

I look at her blankly and she looks at me confused,"Clara did you hear me?"

I nod.

She tries giving me a reassuring smile,"I'm sure he's going to be fine. He's always been a stubborn kid anyway, he's not going to give up so easily."

Again I say nothing.

"Clara are you all right?" She asks slowly and kept staring at me expectantly as she waited for an answer.

Well she certainly wasn't getting one from me anytime soon.

"Family of Jake Henderson?"

Ashley's head snaps up as she turns to look at the doctor who had just entered the room. He was easily in his mid forties, his hair greyish holding a file in his hands.

"His mother is on his way, I- I am-" Ashley starts frantically.

The doctor looks apprehensive but he says,"He's got a severe concussion and a dislocated shoulder along with a few cuts, some bruised ribs, nothing too serious. He's in better shape than expected but he's not waking up."

I'm barely listening to what he's saying, my eyes are just focused on the file in his hands which he's currently referring to as he's speaking.

"-he's been unconscience for more more than three hours which means that there is a possibility that even if he wakes up-"

Even if.

Even if.

"- possibility of amnesia and-"

I promptly turn on my heels, that feeling that I'm going to suffocate comes back in full force and I know I just have to get out of here.

"Can we go see him?" Ashley asks and the doctor regretfully shakes his head.

"I'm sorry ma'am right now it's family only. " He says,"We can't-"

"Clara?" Rebecca looks at me concerned,"He's going to be all-"

"Don't lie to me." I say quietly and she steps back shocked and I continue in my toneless voice,"Don't make promises to me that you can't keep."

She sighs looking away,"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

My grandmother comes next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder," Sweetie, I know it's hard, just breathe okay? We can go check on Alec."

And that's what snaps me out of my numb daze. The fact that I absolutely don't want to see Alec Evans.

"No."

And I turn around and walk out of the room.

_______________________________

"Elena is starting to annoy the crap out of me." My roommate Alison starts,"Good god Damon is right there with all his bad boy charm and she's still freaking choosing Stefan. Is she high or something?"

I laugh, Alison was currently ranting about Vampire Diaries, season three had just gotten over and she was annoyed to say the least.

"I mean it's not that she doesn't love Damon too, huh?" She said,"We all saw her kissing him, we all saw her totally falling for him but she still freaking goes back to Stefan. He's safe? Really if you want safe just go wrap yourself in bubble wrap or something. God I'm starting to hate that TV show because the stupid main character is so dumb."

"You were just telling me how you can't wait for the next season." I say raising an eyebrow as I skilfully dodged some undergrowth as we continued our trek up the hill which I wasn't enjoying one bit. Walking was bad enough for me, but walking up hill at night with shrubs and stones was worse.

"Yeah well duh! Just because I hate the main character that doesn't mean I can't still hold out hope for her and Damon. Though let's face it Elena totally does not deserve him after all the shit she's pulled with the both of them." She says.

I roll my eyes,"I guess she thinks that Stefan is safe and sweet and nice. He won't hurt her and he'll always put her opinion in front of everything else. Plus she's known him longer."

She stopped abruptly making me crash into her almost losing my balance. Which would be nasty considering there was a large drop a few feet to the right.

"No." She says dramatically,"You did not just say that. You totally did not defend Stefan against Damon. It's just not-"

"Hey I'm team both." I defend.

She raises an eyebrow,"Isn't the ironic considering that you've got the hots for Jake? I definitely thought you were more into the bad boy type. I mean he'd probably have to grow older a little taller and get some fangs but I'm willing to bet that he'd come somewhere near-"

"Woah- woah! I have the hots for who?" I say.

"Me of course."

I jump to see Jake casually walking next to me.

It was nighttime and all of us were treking to the top of the hill to see the stars. Apparently they were so clear that you could see just about every constellation.

Although I wasn't too enthusiastic about the whole let's go climb on top of a hill with a steep drop and a scary forest thing at night I was excited by the prospect of seeing the stars. I wasn't too much of a star enthusiast, that was Jake but I was still all too excited about it.

"What is with you and sneaking up on people?" I say through gritted teeth my hand still on my chest.

"Tsk-Tsk." He says smirking,"You should pay proper attention you know, it's usually the unaware clumsy blonde chick who gets killed first in the horror movie right?So think of this as future practice, The guy tend to come from behind and grab her and-"

I raise an eyebrow,"Oh so now you're planning on grabbing unsuspecting teenage girls from the back, huh? Sounds real classy Jake."

"Nah." He says and then smirks,"That's just you. Can't have you dying first now can I?"

Alison was smiling as she looks over to the both of us,"So I'm just going to leave you both to flir-" I glare at her and she clears her throat innocently,"I mean doing whatever it is you both do now days."

She nearly ran ahead and I glared at her back. She was so totally doing it on purpose. The two of us were at the back of the group now, a few campers mainly girls glancing back from time to time staring at us.

Correction: staring at him.

"Remind me to tell her that I hate her." I say sarcastically before trudging ahead,"I'll just put her name below yours on that list."

"Oh come on Car." He says,"I thought we were past this you hate me because boys have cooties phase."

"Boys have cooties phase?" I say incredulously,"I don't hate all boys I hate you specifically."

He puts his hand on his chest mockingly but he genuinely looks hurt,"But I'm adorable."

I give him a look and then point to my red hair and the my super short shorts.

"That's not adorable."I say,"It's annoying."

"I'm annoyingly adorable, you mean to say. " He corrects and I simply huff and keep walking ahead.

He smirked,"So this what this about then? That you're a sore loser."

"Hey camp isn't over yet." I say,"I'm so getting back at you."

"Last time I almost got torn by a pack of fourteen year old girls." He says,"I would really like if that didn't happen again and my hair is totally off limits."

"You do know you're just tempting me more?"

He shrugs,"Well I try my best."

I roll my eyes and give him a shove. He stumbles to the edge catching himself but then makes a big show of almost falling down the edge.

Panicked I reach for him to try to help him regain his balance, thinking that he was actually going to fall.

And then I trip which me stumble and slam straight into Jake who is already on the edge which in turn make him lose his balance and send us both tumbling down.

And the award for being the stupidest klutz in the universe goes to, queue in dramatic music, Me!

We slam into the ground painfully as we roll down the hill. The hill was at a height but the slope was gentler than expected. It still hurt like crap though.

If I was dead it would definitely hurt less.

"Jake?" I call out softly and slowly raise my head.

Jake is lying a few feet away from me absolutely still. I turn my body and manage to push myself towards him.

I shake him slightly,"Jake!"

He's still not moving.I don think he's breathing.

Shit, shit.

"Jake!" My voice is even more high and panicked,"Jake please be okay. Wake up!"

And then he starts shaking and finally cracks open his eyes.

Not shaking- laughing.

"Sorry-" he says in between breaths,"I just couldn't hold my breath any longer."

I stare at him gape mouthed as he is still laughing. I hit him hard on the shoulder,"God you're such a jerk!"

"Jake! Jake please be okay-" He says mockingly but cuts off when he takes a look at me,"Shit Car are you crying?"

I wasn't, but I was pretty damn close to it.

"Any sane person would be crying now. " I say,"Considering that we are currently somehwere at the bottom of the hill in the woods at night. Not to mention I'm stuck with a complete jerk."

"I didn't think you'd take it so seriously." He says,"It was a joke."

"No it wasn't. Have you ever thought what would happen if something really happened to you?" I ask,"What would happen to me?"

He looks at me curiously,"I thought you hated me. Why would you if something-"

"Don't. You. Dare. Finish. That. Sentence. " I say slowly and then take a deep breath and then I added,"I don't hate you Jake. Although you are a jerk and annoying but I don't want you dead, most of the times. "

He raises an eyebrow smiling just a little bit,"Most of the times?"

"Well killing you is a task that is solely my job." I say actually managing to return the smile.

"Uh-uh. " He says not looking even the least bit convinced.

I give him and eye roll and then I realise just where we were. I don't know how I forgot.

"Okay I think we should start moving." He says getting up slowly putting his weight on his legs. He doesn't stumble which tells me that nothing must be broken.

He then stretches both his hands towards me, his palms slightly cut up and bleeding,"Come on let's get you up."

I take his hands as he hoists me up to my feet, I as usual stumble slightly on my feet but this time Jake is ready for it and steadies me.

"Okay." He says scanning my face his hands on either cheek ,"Anything broken or hurting?"

For a second I look at him kind of stunned trying to collect my thoughts under his intense gaze.

Why haven't I ever noticed how green his eyes were?

"Clara?" He asks,"You okay?"

I snap out of it.

"I think so." I say scanning my arms which thanks to my full sleeved sweatshirt was fairly untouched. But my legs...

My legs were completley scratched up and scraped. Both were covered with numerous scratches almost all bleeding but the skin on my right knee seemed to be the worst almost completley split open drenching my sock and shoe with blood.

And right then all is could think about was thank god, Jake wasn't a vampire he'd probably try to eat me.

Yeah, Alison and I really need to cut back on our Vampire Diaries talks.

But Jake looked horrified. At first I thought it was the sight of the blood but then guilt and regret flashed through his eyes and I got that he was probably feeling pretty shitty for screwing with my clothes so I was forced to wear the shorts.

"You know it's better than it looks." I say feeling kind of terrible for making him look so guilty,"It doesn't hurt that much."

It hurt like a bitch but I was a pro at handling this sort of thing. I was the kind who fell down stairs, I was the kind who got cuts and bruised everyday so this wasn't really bad.

So I just stood in front of him, one of my hands wrapped around his shoulders to keep my balance feeling incredibly bad that he was currently blaming himself for it.

"Jake. I'm fine." I say actually smiling and surprised that I didn't have to fake it even bit,"Because I know you're going to get us out of this. I trust you."

He finally looks at me, his green eyes widening with this disbelief,"Y-You trust me?"

The smile grows wider,"Always." And then I give him a look,"But if you ever pull that kind of shit again by scaring the living daylights out of me by dying on me, or fake dying or whatever I'm going to personally going to-

"I get it, I get it. " He says and smirks,"You care about me and I promise I'll never let anything happen to this adorable face."

I roll my eyes,"Good and remember I hate people who can't keep promises they make."

He grins and gives my hand two small squeezes "I wouldn't even dream of breaking it."

Liar.

He was such a godamn liar.

And as soon as he woke up I was going to kill him.

That night was what should have been a nightmare for any sane person. Being stuck in the woods at night, bleeding like crazy with a boy who got on your nerves to a point where you almost wanted to kill him.

But for some reason whenever somebody told me to calm down and go to a happy place I would go to that night.

That moment when Jake looked me when I told him that I trusted him completley and when he made a promise to me that I should have forgotten about a long time ago.

But I I didn't.

I'd never told anyone about it because that promise was meant for me, only me, that he wouldn't let anything happen to him because of what would happen to me.

He'd known I suppose, somewhere, even as a fourteen year old that someday just how important he would become to me. And maybe someday just how much that promise would actually mean to me.

And I refused to accept that this was it. This was how we were going to end after everything we had been through. That he was just going to give up.

I am not going to let him give up.

Reaching the elevator was easy and getting into it was even easier. There was really no one around at this time of the night. I look at the buttons and press the 5th floor.

559.

That shouldn't be too tough to find.

Only family, what a joke. The doctor can go to hell, I don't care. I was going to see Jake and whoever actually got the guts to stop me..

I'm wasn't going to end pretty for them.

The elevator beeped and slid open. I stepped out only to be stopped in my tracks.

"Visiting hours are over." The woman said,"You can't be here."

I give her a quick once over.She looks young, around twenty four on the maximum her dark black hair tied in a careless bun. She's holding a coffee cup in her hand as she stares back at me unsurely trying to hold my gaze.

Intern, definitely, new too. Coffee cup means she's probably the one stuck on the late night shift and is having one hell of a time trying to keep herself awake.

"I'm here for the patient in room 559." I say sounding calm,"Jake Henderson?"

She looks even more unsure,"Umm only family members are-"

"I am a family member. " I say icily. My voice is cold enough to probably freeze an entire town. The cold may not have bothered Elsa but it definitely bothered the intern in front of me.

Good, it better because I was very close to another tipping point right now and if she didn't get out of my way in two minutes I would lose it.

I don't care if she believed me or not, Jake was my family, he was actually the closest thing I had to one apart from Alec and Rebecca. Because my real family except for my grandmother had fallen apart at the seams long back.

And no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could stay away from Jake, the past few hours had given me stunning clarity to just what a mess I would be.

I'm not going to lose him.

Not like this, I don't care what I have to do but he was going to come back to me.

"I-I didn't know he had a sister." She starts.

I glare at her not bothering to correct her,"So now will you get out of my way?"

She steps back nervously and starts stammering,"I-I can't let you without clearance-"

I glare at her and somewhere at the back of my mind I feel sorry for her. She was probably new to the hospital and terribly nervous in her new job which made her easy prey.

But I didn't care.

My eyes narrow. I don't know if I currently look the part but if I knew if I really wanted to, I could pull off a Michella Wilson easily,"You're saying that you have the audacity to stop me from meeting him when he's injured and hurt because you don't believe me? I will literally sue your-"

Her eyes widen and she interrupts,"S-sorry. I-Ill take you right away."

I follow her as she leads me down the bright white hallway my steps slowing with each step. I'd acted on pure impulse while coming up and now I was starting to question if I would actually get through this.

No.

I had to.

I had to see him.

Because I could not and would not let my last words-No, not last words.

"We are here." She says quietly and I stop and nod. My hands have gone cold and I think I'm shaking as I stare at the door.